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eastern_rose - Tracey part 2

4/19/2004

I walked past my drive, it was still very early, my bedroom
curtains were still closed which meant that Harry was probably
still sleeping, I found my house keys on my front tyre where
I had left them when I went out for my walk. The walk that was
meant to clear my head from the events of the previous evening
the walk that resulted in my baptism of voyeurism and almost
led to me letting a complete stranger have sex with me. I
decided to try and get a little sleep on the sofa, Harry would
just assume that I had been there all night and I wouldn’t
have to explain where I had been.
<br>

The ringing of the telephone tore into my consciousness,
I had been dreaming and I had incorporated the sound of the
telephone into my dream. It was only after the phone had
been ringing for too long for my mind to find it believable
that I woke up. Sandy was ringing me from work, she had just
switched her phone to hands free and was getting on with
her work while waiting for me to pick up. “You’re a dark horse
Tracey”. She said to me after I said, “Hello”. I didn’t know
what she was she meant but she soon proved that Carol and
she had no secrets from each other. Sandy knew all about
my watching Carol and Paul the bus driver, knew all about
me watching the couples in the car park and also knew all
about what happened in Carol’s living room in the very early
hours of the morning. “I want to meet for coffee after work”,
she said, I didn’t even know what time it was then, I had assumed
that it was still early, that Harry was still in bed, no,
that didn’t make sense, he was such a light sleeper that
he would have woken and answered the phone by the second
or third ring. I had to focus hard to see the time, it was eleven-thirty,
Harry had told me when I tried to get him to have sex with me
that he had to be in work early. I checked the drive, there
was Harry’s car, NOT! He had gone to work without waking
me, he had never left the house without giving me a kiss first
in all the time that we had been living together. “Well,
are you coming into Arnold for that coffee or not?” I ‘umed’
and ‘ared’ for a while then I asked her what time, “Twelve-thirty”,
I agreed and we would meet outside the doctors surgery.
<br>

We found a quiet corner in the cafĂ©, in its hey day the ‘Tea
for Two’ had been a genteel meeting place for ‘Ladies wot
do Lunch’ but now it was mainly a waiting room for the benefit
fraternity, waiting for their next ‘cash fix’ over a cold
cup of rank coffee. Sandy wanted the dirt, she wanted to
know everything, she had assumed that I was the same old
‘Miss Prissy Pants’ that she had known from collage but
recent reports had seriously dented her image of me. “I’m
sorry to dissappoint Sandy, but I really am just as you expected
me to be!” Sandy sat back in her chair, she was trying to make
up her mind if I was telling the truth or if I was the best liar
she had met. I explained that the only reason that I was wandering
around after midnight was a slight problem at home. Sandy
wouldn’t let that go, she wanted details. I took my diary
out of my handbag, it always amazed me just how much I could
cram into such a small space, new housing developers should
build houses like handbags, much smaller on the outside
than the inside. Sandy’s eyes lit up when she saw my diary,
I opened it at page one, Sandy read that page and she laughed
out loud, she saw my face and apologised then she realised
that it was a diary that she would eventually be reading
from cover to cover in her role as doctors researcher. “You
trying for a baby?” Sandy asked me, I nodded my head, Sandy
fanned through the pages, “Not really enough here yet to
help but let me look”. Sandy took a paper napkin from the
dispenser on the table, she began to work through the pages,
making marks on the thin white paper of the napkin as she
went along. “You’re ovulating right now, well last night
would have been the optimum time, you should have been having
sex for the last four days and for the next four days to give
you the best chance of conception”. I was more shocked when
she pointed out that from the times I had noted intimacy
had taken place, it had been squarely in the safe zone for
using my menstrual cycle as a form of birth control. Even
the slightly unsafe times we had made love had been post-scripted
with the fact that the act wasn’t to completion, Harry had
either masturbated himself or we had mutually masturbated.
“Face it girl, this man isn’t interested in getting you
pregnant, and he is good at reading your body for the safest
times!” I was more shocked at Sandy's reading of the
situation than the situation its self, I just couldn’t
bring myself to believe that Harry would have been so calculating,
“Is your husband a patient at my place?” Sandy asked, I nodded
an affirmative response. “Come on I have the keys still”,
we left half-drunk coffee, no loss really, it wasn’t the
best coffee in the world anyway.
<br>

As we walked towards the doctors surgery sandy asked me
why I hadn’t let Tony fuck me, I tried to keep my eyes looking
straight ahead, I knew I had begun to blush but if I looked
into Sandy’s eyes I would have caught on fire from the heat
of my face. “Because I have never had intimacy with anyone
but Harry, decent women don’t sleep around!” I said, “Your
mother tell you that ‘Prissy’? I wouldn’t have been able
to say no, even if he was the worst shag in the world, and believe
me, Tony is an eight, that’s a high score for a white guy!”
I admitted to myself that I had asked Tony not to have sex
with me but deep down I had wished he had taken no notice of
my request, not that I would ever tell Sandy that. Sandy
had a huge bunch of keys, she unlocked the door to the entrance,
there was a loud beeping to warn of the imminent alarm, Sandy
typed four digits into a keypad and there was silence. Sandy
unlocked a steel shutter door, raised it up above our heads,
then pulled it down behind us again. A key to unlock the door
into the area behind the receptionists desk, loud beeping
again, this time it took a five digit code to silence the
alarm. Sandy led me into the file room, she closed the door
behind us and turned on the light, the room had no outside
windows so the light was essential. It took Sandy’s practised
hands a mere few seconds to find the files containing Harry’s
and my details, my folder was very thin, “I have six month
old babies with more information in their folder than you”
Sandy said, there was a red star on the front of Harry’s folder,
his filder, unlike mine, was very full. Sandy tapped the
star with her finger, “You know what this meand?”, “He’s
been good!” “No, this means extra money for the doctor,
he gets a ‘grand’ extra for your husband than a normal patient!”
I gave Sandy a questioning look, “Medical reassert, your
husband gets two thousand, five hundred pounds a year for
testing new drugs for a manufacturer, we get the extra grand
because of all the extra paper work”. Sandy threw the very
thick folder on the table, the first letter from the drugs
manufacturer bore the letterhead of the company that Harry
worked for, he was working as a senior manager at the same
time as testing their new drugs. Sandy’s face dropped a
little, “What! What is it?” I asked, “Your husband is testing
the male birth control pill!” I sat down with a thump, the
wind had definitely been taken from my sails, looking back
through the correspondence Harry had been taking part
in the trials since before we were married, before he began
to work for the company. Sandy quickly plotted a graph of
Harry’s sperm level, she concluded that there was still
a chance that a few sperm were being produced by Harry but
not enough to be medically viable, but then it only takes
one lucky sperm to produce a baby. The final set of results
had an accompanying letter, the gist of the letter was that
after three months of zero sperm production Harry would
be entering ‘phase two’ of the trial, an injection of the
chemical under the skin of Harry’s forearm. The injection
would release the exact ammount of the drug that would keep
Harry at zero sperm level for six months at a time. “At least
then he won’t be keeping you short after that!” Sandy said,
“What does that mean?” I asked her, “The amount of times
you and him have intimacy….”, Sandy punctuated the word
intimacy with her fingers, using air quotes, god I couldn’t
believe what I was hearing. “… you would hardly qualify
as casual friends. Even old Paul the sad bus driver gets
it more often than you do!”. I was totally in a spin now, I
couldn’t believe how depressed this information had made
me feel. “Mark my words, as soon as he has had the injection
he will be knocking at your panties every night!” Sandy
said.
<br>

We parted at the end of Sandy’s road, she was going to monitor
Harry’s file and she would tell me when they had put Harry
onto phase two, I would then see if there was any increase
in intimacy, my mind filled in the air quotes this time,
Sandy had her hands full with the bags she was carrying.
I got home a few moments before Harry, he was bright and cheerful
when he walked through the door, I just wish I were the same.
Harry’s excuse for not kissing me goodbye, “You looked
so cute sleeping on the sofa that I didn’t have the heart
to wake you!”
<br>

That afternoon dragged by very slowly, it felt like I could
clean the living room between one tick of the grandfather
clock and the next, I would have been able to wash, dry and
put away all the pots in the house before the third tick.
It is amazing how slow the poison of mistrust works through
a body. Bed time came around a year and a half after Harry
got home from work, I was quite sleepy, I had definitely
not had my full eight hours the night before but that didn’t
stop me setting my mind on trying to get Harry to fuck me.
I suddenly brightened up a lot, I showered and used the perfume
that Harry liked best, I was careful to wash myself between
the legs well, the power shower blasting up into me always
turned me on and instead of my floor-length night gown I
had put on a baby-doll nighty, black, very sheer, the gift
that Harry brought himself for the night of our wedding
but I had been too shy to actually wear. The bedroom light
was out when I walked in, Harry had his back to the door so
I dropped the pose I had ‘struck’ as I stood framed in the
doorway, I knew that the light coming from behind me would
have made the material of my nighty totally transparent.
“Dam!” I thought to myself, Harry was already sleeping,
I could tell from his breathing pattern, that wasn’t a problem,
he always woke as soon as my bottom touched the bed usually
if I went to bed after him. I reached my arm over Harry’s shoulder,
I kissed the back of his neck and pressed my abdomen against
his lower back and pushed forward slightly. Harry’s breathing
pattern had changed the instant I touched the bed, I knew
that he was actually wide-awake from that second. If things
had happened as they usually did he would roll over and kiss
me goodnight, but he didn’t move, he was feigning sleep.
<br>

My past history had left me with few or no tools in my seduction
‘took box’, I had in the past been totally passive, I had
been only too happy for Harry to make all of the sexual running
in our relationship. Sometimes I had been ready, geared
up for sex, and he had missed the signs, or so I thought at
the time. Sandy had given me some literature on the female
body, the sort of things that cosmo’ went some of the way
to dealing with. Around the time of my ovulation I could
expect the hormones in my body to trigger autonomic responses
that would make me feel more sexually aroused, more responsive
to sexual advances and would give out subtle signals to
men that would want them to want me more. Those must have
been the signals that Harry was using to stop himself from
trying to have sex with me, well he was trying very hard now,
I was rubbing myself against his buttocks so hard now that
I was surprised that I hadn’t pushed him out of the other
side of the bed. It was only ten thirty; I had made myself
even hornier than I was the night before, and the way time
was running at the moment it would take around seven years
for the dawn to break.
<br>

Eleven-thirty, did you know that the grandfather clock
in the hallway down stairs ticked seven thousand two hundred
times in an hour? I had thought that it should have been only
three thousand six hundred but it must tick on both the capture
and the release of the ‘pawl and ratchet’ that controlled
the speed that the weight fell in the casement. I had told
myself that during the next hour I would try and see if I could
distinguish between the two, see if there was a difference.
“This is ridiculous, I cant lie here counting the clock
ticking all night”, I told myself, eleven thirty two, I
decided to get up, see if there was anything on TV. Went into
the kitchen, I had a half pint of milk left, if I had a little
more I could do myself a drink of hot chocolate, I told myself
that a half pint was more than enough for hot chocolate then
I told myself to shut up, what the hell did I know anyway,
I couldn’t even spot when a man was avoiding trying to make
me pregnant. I checked the garden, it was early summer,
I wondered if the hedge-hog that often called in the autumn
would be around looking for milk so I put out a saucer full
of milk just in case. Eleven thirty three, I have a quarter
of a pint of milk, if I had a little more I could make myself
a cup of hot chocolate, hot chocolate might help me sleep,
I could pop down to the ‘Tesco 24 hr’ store and buy a pint or
two of milk, and some hot chocolate powder, after all I never
kept it in as it was far to fattening. I pulled my mackintosh
on over my nighty and picked up my. It wasn’t far to the twenty-four
hour store but if I drove there I could pick up something
else if I saw it, something that I may not be able to carry
if I walk there. I closed the front door as quietly as I could,
I didn’t close my car door to avoid disturbing Harry, I let
the hand-break off and allowed the car to roll down the drive
and onto the road. I could have closed my door then and start
the engine without waking Harry if he had been asleep but
I decided to allow the car to roll further down the hill before
closing the door and starting the engine, just in case he
was still awake.
<br>

As the engine burst into life the fan heater fired a blast
of cool night air at my legs, it found it’s way up under the
bottom of may coat, reminding me that I was almost naked
under my coat, just the sheer netting of my baby-doll nighty.
I noticed that I was almost opposite the road leading to
Bestwood Country Park, I could use that road to turn around
in, after all the shop was up the hill and I had rolled down
the hill, “Liar, the ‘Tesco 24’ is at the bottom of the hill”,
“I changed my mind, I’m going to ….. er….. Asda, I don’t like
the milk at Tesco’s!”
<br>

I drove the hundred yards or so along the front of the houses,
I knew most of the women that lived in those houses, they
were the ones that were always organising the petitions
to close the car park. I was at the end of the lane leading
to the car park now, I could just make out the entrance in
the darkness. I switched to sidelights and turned right,
into the lane leading to the car park entrance. I crawled
along as slowly as the car would go, I was giving the voice
inside my head plenty of time to convince the second voice
that hot chocolate was far more preferable than driving
into an unlit car park at eleven fifty at night.
<br>

The car park was empty, as I drove in there wasn’t a single
car in any of the little bays around the outside edge of the
car park. I drove two complete circles around, “OK, see,
nothing here for you, now lets be good and fetch a bottle
of milk and maybe I’ll treat you to a bar of fruit and nut,
I’m sure that you’ll like that more than sex anyway!” I pulled
the car into an empty bay; I had subconsciously chosen it
because it was right next to the footpath leading back to
the road opposite my house. I made sure my door was locked,
turned the engine off, I was going to leave the side lights
on but as soon as I turned the key the lights went off on their
own, “I didn’t realise they did that, I had always been so
careful to turn off the lights before I turned off the engine,
just to save the battery, I laughed to myself a little. I
noticed a shadow in the distance, something was moving
between me and the light cast by what moonlight there was.
I saw the shadow move once again, it certainly looked like
a man, probably dressed in black. I remembered that the
three cars that I had seen were all the same, they all had
their interior lights on, I fumbled with the switch on the
inside light, my heart was pounding in my chest, it was difficult
to breath, my hand was shaking so much that it was hard to
make the light work.
<br>

It wasn’t a blinding flash of light but it did make me flinch,
the outside world suddenly disappeared from view as the
light inside the car turned off the darkness outside. It
took only seconds for a face to appear at the window to my
right. I half recognised the guy, I thought he was the man
I had seen after watching Carol and the bus driver fuck.
I was sitting there in my seat, hands gripping the steering
wheel at ten and two, face, straight ahead, it was my peripheral
vision that had picked up the movement as the guy’s face
was illuminated by the light from my car. I heard two taps
on the glass, wound down the window a fraction of an inch.
I had almost swivelled my eyes out of their sockets to be
able to see the man without moving my head, I watched as his
mouth came into contaxt with the glass, “Drive to the other
end of the car park, as far away from the houses as you can
and reverse in against the bush”. The automaton in me started
the car, drove slowly across the car park with out lights,
I hadn’t even turned off the interior light which made it
doubly difficult to negotiate the car park. I did however
recognise when I passed the entrance to the car park, “Just
swing the steering wheel to the left, turn on the headlights
and gun the engine, you can be sitting in home sipping hot
chocolate in less that fifteen minutes!” It took all of
my strength to not turn the steering wheel to the left, I
had slowed down even further as I got to the entrance, I actually
stopped for what seemed like an age. Eventually I found
the last bay, I realised that the guy wanted me to reverse
into the bay so that he would be facing the car park entrance
while he was at my side.
<br>

It took a few seconds for the man to catch up to me, my window
was still open a crack, “Open you coat”, my hands were still
glued to the steering wheel, I was still sitting with my
head fixed ahead, I was trying to work out how to open my coat
without releasing my grip on my steering wheel. “Open your
coat!” I managed to prise one hand off of the wheel, and began
to t try to open the top button, my hand was shaking so much
I could have supplied McDonalds with their triple thick
shakes for a month. Eventually I opened three buttons and
the guy looking through my window could see that all I had
on was a thin nightdress, I realised that he could see most
of my breasts through the flimsy material. “Untie the belt
and push your seat back”, I now had to let go of the steering
wheel with both hands, not for the mackintosh’s belt but
sliding the seat back in a Vauxhall Corsa is definitely
a two handed job. I had also stopped looking straight ahead,
I was now looking at the lower half of the man, he was bent
over to look through my window but I could see that he had
his member in his hand and he was pulling the foreskin back
to expose his mushroom shaped cock-head and then allowing
elasticity to take the skin back. “Open the last button”,
I was worried by that, the last button would reveal all of
my charms, show the guy my tangled bush beneath my baby-doll.
“Open your coat”, my fingers were at the last button, I wasn’t
sure if I could go through with what I had started, I was listening
carefully for my sensible, inner voice to offer it’s advice.
I didn’t really need to hear it, I knew that it would be telling
me to, “Turn the light off, start the engine and get the fuck
out of here”. “OPEN YOU COAT!” My audience was getting slightly
bored I felt with my inaction on the coat opening front,
just at the moment when my ‘conscience superego’ had popped
out for a double lattĂ©. “You’re here for a reason my girl”,
shit, what a time for my ‘id’ to poke her nose in, while I usually
get diametrically opposite advice from my ‘conscience
superego’, my own personal internal devil and angel and
I got to chose which one to listen to, my ‘id’ is a different
kettle of ‘watsanames’, my ‘id’ is biologically driven,
only one option offered, “Dam why am I so weak!”
<br>

My coat was now open, totally and completely, my watcher
was taking his time drinking in the 0sight, “Take your coat
all the way off”, I had nothing to lose now, I was to all intense,
nude anyway, the negligee wasn’t designed for its covering
ability after all. It was a bit of a struggle to get my coat
off, “Throw it in the back”, I did. “Recline your seat”,
I wanted to say how far but I had never reclined the seats
before and had no idea where to find the mechanism to make
the seat recline, there was a short lever to my right, I pulled
it and the seat fell all the way down, the spring mechanism
was obviously faulty and probably explained why the sales-man
had omitted to mention how to adjust the seat. “So here I
am, exposed to a stranger, lying almost flat out in my car
with it’s light on, am I now officially a tramp? Or is it a
tart? Something I could check out on the Internet tomorrow!”
“Wind the window down a bit more”, “No!” The face was gone,
I struggled up enough to se out of the window, there was no
one in sight, my sense of deflation was enormous, I couldn’t
believe just how exciting it had been to sit there and take
instructions from a total stranger and how empty I felt
now that he had gone.
<br>

I noticed a car had pulled into the other end of the car park,
I could just make out that there were two people in the car,
the interior light was on and I could see a gap in the illumination
that I took to be my voyeur. I had now officially been rejected
by a pervert, you have no idea just how that makes a woman
feel. I was struggling to get the seat back upright, it was
just a guess but I would have needed to be a double jointed
octopus to raise the seat without first leaving the car,
there was at least one reason why I didn’t want to get out
of the car just to lift my seat back up. I heard the engine
of the other car suddenly fire up, it took off from the car
park with it’s front wheels throwing cinders into the air,
I had a little inward smile as a made out the shadowy figure
of my pervert making his way back to my side.
<br>

“Are you going to open your window more?” I turned the window
winder one circle in response, that made my window lower
by an inch, I watched as my voyeur opened his trousers again
and began to revive his flaccid cock, he was gently stroking
himself into life, I watched as his cock grew from three
inches and thin to around seven inches and extremely thick.
“Take off the bottom of your nighty”, I checked, ‘conscience
superego’ still away on her latte break. I lifted my bottom
and slid my baby-doll’s bottoms down. “Now take off your
top”, again it was a little struggle but I managed to remove
my top and was now totally nude in my car, the window was cracked
open an inch and a half and the cool night air was making my
nipples respond more than they had ever responded in my
life before, well I will blame the cold anyway. “Open your
window more”, I now had to weigh up my options, last time
I said no the guy pissed off, and if I said no again he night
not come back, I knew that I was so absolutely turned on right
then that I would have had sex with a dog to get my relief.
I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to go further with this guy
but, just at that moment, I wanted something, Harry wasn’t
going to ‘pleasure’ me, I knew I could ‘pleasure’ myself
but this was almost the most exciting experience I had been
through in my life to date, well, not counting twenty four
hours earlier, that was pretty exciting. I turned the handle
on my window another full circle; the window was now open
two and a half inches. “Open your legs”, I did as I was told,
“Wider!” I opened them wider. “Finger yourself” I began
to masturbate myself, I knew that the man could have just
about reached in and touched me if he had wanted to but he
kept his distance. I wasn’t particularly good at fucking
myself, as a young woman I had never done anything like that
and it was usually Harry’s job to do it if I needed it after
we married, I was trying to copy what Harry had done to me
in the past but I was making a total pig’s ear of it, a little
voice popped into my head, “Why not ask the guy to swap, you
know how to make a man come, and I’ll bet he knows a dam site
more than you do about frigging a woman”, bloody fine time
to come off of your coffee break I thought to my ‘conscience
superego’. “Open your window more”, I knew that he could
have reached through the last time I opened it more so I just
took it all the way down, the cool air made me shiver. I stiffened
up as the guy stepped closer and his head came through the
opening in my door. He pushed my hand away from my vagina,
lifted my right knee and moved my foot so that my heel was
hooked over the edge of my seat, then hr tapped my left leg
and pointed upwards, I knew instinctively that he wanted
me to copy the position of my right leg with my left leg. The
only time I had ever been that open before was when I had my
first ever internal examination just after my twenty-fifth
birthday, and I only had that because my mother had some
abnormal cells from a cervical smear test. I watched as
the man put a latex glove one hand, he reached in and began
to work his fingers into my body, I went into orbit with the
first pass of his finger over my clitoris, and from that
moment I was lost. Harry had never done anything like that
to me in all the time we had been lovers, I was taken on a magical
tour of my inner workings, I was given a really nice clitoral
orgasm, followed bt a deep stimulation of my ‘G’ spot in
the roof of my virginal cavity, then after I had landed back
on earth he massaged the opening to my urethra, it felt like
he was actually able to force his finger into the entrance
to the pipe leading from my bladder. I managed to spot the
clock when the man first touched me, it was twelve forty
five when he first touched me and now it was past two o’clock
in the morning. I was totally covered in sweat, I had never
climaxed so much in all of my life before and then the door
popped open, I froze once again as the man pulled me around,
he took my right leg and as he crouched down between my legs
he placed my right foot on to his left shoulder. If he tried
to fuck me I would have to say no, I wouldn’t want to but there
was no way I could let him actually fuck me. He was getting
into a good position, he pushed my left foot onto the dashboard,
I was almost doing the splits, it had gone way past the point
of comfort. But as soon as his fingers snaked their way into
my love tunnel I would have agreed to anything, this time
he passed my clitoris by, passed my urethra, straight passed
that magical ‘G’ spot, he was searching out my cervix, I
could feel him almost measuring my cervix, he had pushed
his fingers around the neck of my womb, he was actually massaging
the protuberance that was my cervix, I opened my eyes and
strained to look at the junction between his hand and my
vagina, I noticed that there was a ring of lubricant around
his glove and that he had four fingers buried deep inside
of me and he was gently working his fingers on all sides of
my cervix, he was increasing the pressure slightly and
then I felt his little finger move slightly, it was at the
opening to my womb and he was pushing hard against the muscle
holding the mouth closed, I felt a blinding pain and a small
pop, he had the tip of his little finger inside my cervix.
The subtle movements of his fingers as he tried to encourage
his finger deeper drove me over into the most violent of
orgasmic spasms, I had never had a baby before but I could
only imagine that the pleasure / pain that I was feeling
must have been like the beginnings of birth contractions.
<br>

I was empty, the guy had been finger fucking me for almost
three hours, he had taken me further along the climax ‘super
highway’ than I had ever been before and now he had stepped
back, he was standing upright, masturbating himself,
the latex glove was on the floor of my car and the first string
of white, milky cum was floating through the air, in the
direction of my stomach and chest. I had never had a man stand
over me and masturbate over me, I had felt that it should
have felt degrading but he had given me such pleasure that
I couldn’t deny him that pleasure if that was what he wanted,
the second string of his cum flew over my right breast and
chin, the third and forth on my stomach and the fifth in the
well caused by my upper thigh and pubic mound, and then he
was gone, retreating into the darkness. I eased myself
out of my car, I was totally nude, standing in a public car
park, I didn’t care, it didn’t even bother me to see that
during my ‘pleasure fest’ a car had pulled up next to my car,
close enough for the couple sitting in it to watch every
gasp of my climax, their interior light was off so I couldn’t
actually see their faces but that didn’t matter to me, I
even considered walking around my car so that they could
get a better view of my magnificent body.
<br>

I simply adjusted my seat to its upright position and pulled
my mackintosh on and stuffed my baby-doll under my seat.
“OK, lets go get milk” the voice in my head said, I asked if
it was my angel or my devil that had spoken to me but she didn’t
say.

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