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We both were ashamed of our childhoods (love story)


Rich or poor, we all have secrets from our childhood that
we take great measures to keep hidden.

I lived with my mother, but don't have of a single memory
of my father. Mom still made sure my childhood was great
as much as she could. But, at the same time, I always realized
we weren't the same as other people. While most families
had a mom and a dad and lived in a house, my mother and I had
our apartment above a bar. And while most kids played in
a backyard somewhere, I played in the alley behind the bar.

But we still had enough money and my mother was constantly
shopping for her dresses and for things for me too. It was
just what we did, especially on Saturdays when I was off
from school. Mom would get all dressed up and then kid with
me by saying to me, "How pretty do I look today?"

I had no idea about the facts of life yet but I noticed how
a lot of men always looked at my mother when we walked down
the street, while shopping. Her high heels always clicked
on the sidewalk and I sort of got use to that sound and liked
it too. And I grew up also knowing what perfume smelled like
because mom had lots of bottles of it on her dresser, in front
of her mirror.

The first time I saw anything I shouldn't have seen,
was when I was six or maybe seven. Mom had tucked me in to bed
and I usually just feel asleep. But on that night in particular
I couldn't sleep because of the loud music coming from
the bar downstairs. And I listened to my mother's voice
laughing from the kitchen which was just down the hall from
my bedroom. And then I heard a man's voice say something
and I heard my mother start laughing all over again.

She had never lied to me and had always told me, she had a few
boyfriends who use to stop over and talk with her, every
once in a while, at night. So I just figured it was one of mom's
boyfriends who had stopped by to say hi to her. But they were
kind of loud too , so for some reason, I climbed out of my bed,
even though I knew I wasn't supposed to unless I was
real sick and needed her help.

I opened my bedroom door and all I could hear was my mother
laughing every once in a while and the man kept telling her
how pretty she was. So I snuck down the hall until I could
peek into the kitchen and see what they were doing. The man
was on one chair with a bottle in front of him. And on the other
chair was my mother sitting there smiling at him and was
wearing only her bra and her panties.

My mother had never tried to hide her body from me and frequently
I saw her wearing her bra and panties around our apartment.
She had always told me from the time I was little, those were
her, comfortable clothes. But I was still confused because
I had never seen her wearing her comfortable clothes in
front of other people, before. But the man talking wit her
didn't seem to mind so I went back to my room, closed
the door and finally got comfortable in my bed before I fell

The next morning her boyfriend was gone and the table was
cleaned up like it always was in the morning. And my mother
was still sleeping in her bedroom, so I tried to be extra
quiet because I knew she liked to sleep. It was only a couple
of days later when I told my mother what I had seen when I couldn't
fall sleep and all she said was that someday, she will explain
all kinds of things to me about boys and girls.

When I was around fifteen I figured out what mom did to earn
money so we could eat well. And she had laid down the rules
to me, so if I came home and one of her boyfriends was over
chatting with her, I was supposed to just greet the man politely
and then go directly to my room. But I never could fall asleep,
so instead, I would lay in my bed and listen to my mother whimpering
and moaning from her bedroom. I was ashamed that she made
me swell up and then I would masturbate to the sounds of my
own mother being fucked.

When I turned sixteen, for my birthday present, my mother
took me over to see a woman she knew. I waited outside the
woman's back door for a few minutes before mom came
out and brought me inside to meet the woman. She was younger
than my mother but of course older than me.

I remember my mother had this big smile on her face when she
kissed me on my forehead and told me to enjoy myself before
she left me alone with the woman. It was the afternoon when
I went from being a boy to taking my first steps of becoming
a man.

The woman was very sweet and told me it was alright if I was
nervous because everyone is nervous their first time.
And then we sat on her sofa and she kissed me, so I kissed her
back. I had kissed a couple of girls my own age but never kissed
them like the woman and I kissed each other. The girls always
seemed scared when they kissed me but this woman wasn't
scared at all. In fact she seemed to like kissing me.

After just a few kisses the woman took my hand and placed
it on the front of her blouse and that was pretty much all
it took. She never objected, no matter where I touched her,
so I touched her everywhere. I had one hand under her skirt
and my other hand inside of her blouse and all she did was
giggle and moan every once in a while.

I went basically crazy for a while but I do remember we had
gotten into her bedroom and she was only wearing her panties
when she told me to undress too. And I remember she gasped
when I showed her my cock and large ball sack. I asked her
if something was wrong and she laid on her bed and quickly
giggled while she shook her head no. But her eyes never stopped
looking at my erection.

There is no way any young man can prepare himself for what
the inside of a woman's vagina feels like until he feels
it for the first time. It was the single most awesome experience
of my entire life. I didn't know what I was doing but
the drive I had inside of me to fuck her was so powerful, all
I did was fuck her until I finally exploded with a thunderous
orgasm. I left feeling like I now knew what girls were for.

When I turned eighteen I dropped out of school, although
my mother was not happy, she accepted the fact I wanted to
make money, for myself. I still lived with my mother and
helped her with bills from the money I earned from my day
job at the gas station. And my night job where I worked as
a bouncer at the local strip club.

And that is where I met Angel, my first serious girlfriend.
She was just about the prettiest girl I had ever seen with
her long blonde hair and cute face. Although she was two
years older than me, Angel and I quickly became girlfriend
and boyfriend. Angel danced five nights a week so even on
my nights off from the club, I still went there to watch her
and be with her in-between her shows.

Angel had a way of getting every man in the place excited
when she would tease them long enough before she would then
unhook her bra for them. Angel didn't have the biggest
tits of all the dancers but hers were the pointed cone shaped
ones that every guy loved to see bounce up and down while
she danced.

We had been going together for about six months before Angel
and I wanted to get a place of our own. Angel had a bedroom
in an apartment with three other girls from the club, so
the only time we had any privacy was when we were in her small
bedroom alone. I couldn't ask my mother for any money
and Angel's parents had only enough to keep her five
little brothers and sisters fed.

So Angel and I decided that a few nights a week, she would
pick up a man from the strip club and earn some extra cash
back at our apartment, sharing her favors with him. But
Angel insisted that I had to always be there when she brought
someone home so she would feel safe.

Angel began bringing men home with her, and I would wait
in our living room while she took him back into our bedroom.
But I was use to the sounds she made because my mother use
to make those same sounds. The guy would basically then
fuck my girlfriend before he would then leave without saying
a word to me.

Angel and I made it work for about two years before she fell
for some other guy and we split up. And I guess the whole experience
shocked some sense back into me because I went back and finished
the one semester I had left in high school at some special
school they had for drop outs.

And I was even more surprised when one of my teachers submitted
some tests I had taken and I was offered a scholarship at
a nearby college. So I decided to go to college with the help
of some student loans and the scholarship and my life seemed
like it had changed overnight. Everyone at the college
had a normal childhood, compared to mine. So I didn't
tell anyone about how I grew up and pretended I was just like

That is until one afternoon while I was sitting on a bench
reading a book when a woman approached me and asked me if
I knew what time it was. I remember looking up into the sun
and really couldn't see her very well and had to cover
my eyes for a moment. She was this very tall, very plain woman
wearing a long gray skirt and white blouse with her hair
pulled back into a bun like some grandma would wear.

I told her the time before she smiled and then told me her
name was Ivy. And then I noticed a gold band on her wedding
finger so she also told me she was married to one of the professors.
I asked her if she was a professor too and she shook her head
no and explained she just worked in admissions at the college,
for something to do. I am just guessing here but I would have
guessed Ivy was probably thirty or so, at the time we met.
She did explain her real name was not Ivy but was Ivena, or
something like that but claimed she always hated her name
so she shortened it to just Ivy.

"So are you a junior or a senior?" She asked me
next and I blushed and told her I was only a freshman. Ivy
then surprised me when she sat down next to me as we began
to chat about college and life in general. I learned she
was from back East and her family was from the Boston area
and I didn't get the impression Ivy's family was
poor. She then said, " Against my family's wishes,
I followed Derek out here when he was offered his professors
position after we got married.

"So tell me about your life?" She asked me next
which I thought was kind of bold. I wasn't ashamed of
my life or my mother but I knew telling anyone how I grew up
would not be a good move. So I began to tell her a crazy story
about my family and how my mother made the best cookies in
the world. And how father use to take me fishing all the time,
before I just stopped and felt my emotions about to boil

I then got up and just walked away from her feeling very upset
with myself. I had a couple of restless days and nights and
kept a watch out for Ivy so I wouldn't have to explain
anything to her. But it's not a large college and a few
days later Ivy came rushing up to me when she saw me walking
between classes. She had on the same gray skirt or maybe
just another gray skirt and another plain white blouse.
She was so skinny and so pale, I had never been around a woman
who tried so hard to not look sexy at all. I mean my mother
and all the dancers at the strip club did everything they
could to dress and look sexy while Ivy was just the opposite,
of all of them.

"I'm am so sorry if I said something wrong the
other day" Ivy said to me after she caught up with me.
I just smiled at her and told her I was late for class which
was not true but she didn't know if it was true or not.
Ivy then reached for my arm to stop me so I turned and faced
her again, this time determined not to answer any of her

"My husband, Professor, Williams, Derek Williams
asked me for help to find stories about different peoples
upbringing that he could write about and get published, "
She explained. I told Ivy that I understood but my upbringing
was very boring and began to walk away again. Ivy ran up to
catch me again and told me one more time how sorry she was
and then asked if I would at least have a cup of coffee with

Even with her, thick dark rimmed glasses the woman had a
sad look in her eyes. "Please?" Ivy said again
and I folded like a tent and went off to have a cup of coffee
with her anyway. But instead of her asking the questions,
I decided to try and control our conversation, right from
the start.

"So before you start asking me all sorts of personal
questions, may I first ask you a few?" I said to Ivy
once we had our coffees and were in the corner all alone.
Clearly she was not prepared for that kind of start because
she stared me for a few seconds and didn't respond at
all. "Well, I don't know. I guess so, "
She said hesitantly.

So I asked her how old she was first. Ivy formed a half smile
before she told me she was twenty eight. So then I asked her
why she always dressed like a grandma with her hair pulled
back in a bun and why she always wore long gray skirts and
plain white blouses buttoned up to her neck. Within a second
I saw her eyes began to tear up a little bit and she looked
very stressed across her face. "Now, I am sorry too,
so maybe I should just leave, " I said to Ivy.

But she instantly reached out and grabbed hold of my arm
and held me there as her eyes blinked a thousand times a minute.
"I don't know how to answer that question, "
She then said very softly. I told her to just forget it and
that it was mean of me to ask her in the first place. "No,
I knew someday someone was going to ask me. I was just not
prepared for it, yet, " Ivy explained.

Neither of us said more ten more words while we sat together
and silently finished our coffees. The woman did have a
nice face even if she was the most pale woman I had ever seen.
I swear I wondered if Ivy spent her entire life indoors.
And after we walked out together, Ivy told me she would give
my question a lot of thought and if she ever felt like she
was ready to answer it, I would be the first to know.

I found it strange that this very odd woman and I had formed
some kind of bond and we were so totally opposite of each
other. But I still wasn't sure I would ever tell her
how I really grew up because of how embarrassing that would
be. Ever since I had gotten on campus, I had done everything
I could think of doing, to hide my past.

If they assembled the entire campus and asked us for a show
of hands to determine which of our mothers were prostitutes,
I am pretty sure my hand would have been the only one in the
air. And that is not to say, I still didn't love my mother
because I most certainly did. But I wanted to live in a different
world than she lived in and college was going to hopefully
make that dream come true.

About a month passed and I had still not seen Ivy again and
worried that I had deeply hurt her with my mean spirited
question. So one afternoon, after class I went to the admissions
office to see if Ivy was there so I could apologize one more
time. She had already told me my question was fair but I still
felt bad for putting her on the spot the way I did.

But they told me she had taken some personal time off and
that she might be back in a few months, which only made me
feel even worse. I had listened to my mother getting fucked
and I had offered my girlfriend to men for cash, and neither
of those things made me feel as bad as I felt at that very moment.

Fall ended, winter arrived with all her flurry and my life
went on although I never saw Ivy again. But I always looked
for her whenever I had to walk across campus. And then one
spring afternoon when the snow was melting all over the
place and the sun felt warm again, I looked up and there was
Ivy but she wasn't dressed the same any longer.

She actually had on a pair of blue jeans and a normal top although
not low cut but it was at least open at her neck. And Ivy was
just standing there as if she was waiting for me and when
she saw me, she got a big smile on her face. "Bet your
surprised to see me like this?" Ivy said when I reached
her. I was smiling myself when I told her how nice she looked
in her blue jeans and colored top.

"I am still struggling with the hair bun issue but
I hope to wear it straight sometimes soon, " Ivy said
actually giggling like a normal girl. I remember I couldn't
stop smiling at her so I also mentioned her new glasses.
"Yes, designer frames. Can you believe it?"
she said giggling even more.

"I had a lot I needed to work through. And I am not there
yet, but I am at least trying, " she said next. Ivy
then reached out for my hand and together we walked back
to the same coffee shop where things fell apart the last
time we were in there.

"I have been doing a lot of thinking as you probably
already know. And I have this idea that might help us both,
if you're up for it, " She said and looked quite
serious. I asked her what her idea was all about and that
is when Ivy got very serious. She explained that she had
things in her past she had never, ever told anyone and she
felt I probably did too.

"So I am proposing you come over to my home some night
and together we both agree to tell each other every nasty,
terrible thing about our childhoods. And we agree to not
hold anything back because if we can tell just one other
person, we might both feel better, " She said.

Instantly I once again began to feel very nervous again,
as my childhood memories came flooding back into my brain.
I had never wanted to tell anyone about my past and that also
included Ivy who I really didn't know that well. "I
know your scared right now. But if it helps, just know I am
just as scared of telling you about my childhood secrets,
too, " Ivy said looking directly into my eyes.

I asked Ivy what about her husband and all she said is that
she will explain that too, if I agree to her plan. "We
are both going to need a good bottle of wine, so I'll
have one of those ready for us. That is if you say yes, "
She said next. Ivy and I agreed to meet at her home on Saturday
night around eight and she assured me one more time her husband
would not be home.

Ivy greeted me with her bright smile when she opened her
front door at eight at night. And the second thing that hit
me was what she had on. Ivy was wearing a baggy pair of sweat
pants and a rather tight top that actually showed her small
breasts, at least a little bit. "Come on, please come
in, " She said nervously waiting just inside of her

"Give me a second because I have this all figured out, "
Ivy said as she rushed into her living room and placed two
pillows on the floor a few feet apart. She then took four
candles off the fireplace mantel and placed them on the
floor and light them. "We need to help us of us feel
as safe as possible when we tell each other the truth, "
Ivy said before she pulled me into the living room.

She sat on one of the pillows and folded her legs as if she
was sitting by a campfire and motioned for me to do the same
thing on the other pillow. We then reached out and held each
other's hands for a moment before Ivy said we should
take turns telling some secrets about ourselves that weren't
so embarrassing. She then asked me if I wanted to go first.
Our conversation went something like this.

"I never lived in a house, " I told her first.

"I got a new bicycle when I was seven but no one ever
took the time to teach me how to ride it, so I still can't
ride a bike" Ivy told me next.

"I never had a backyard with grass. My mother and I
lived in an apartment, above a bar so I had to play in the alley,
when I was little, " I told her next. Ivy smiled at
me as if she felt sad I never had a back yard.

"I have never been on a date, " Ivy said next
and I looked at her wondering how that was even possible.
So I asked her if that was true and Ivy said we had both promised
to only tell only the truth and that she was telling me the
truth when she said she had never gone on a date. I remember
I asked her if that meant with her husband too and Ivy said
she would explain that to me, too.

I took a deep breath and then admitted to Ivy, " My
mother was a prostitute and that is how she earned money.
" Her eyes were reading my eyes once I had told her as
she stared at me for a few seconds before she blinked.

"I have only had sex with one man and it wasn't
my husband. He is gay and only married me so it looked on his
resume, " Ivy said softly.

"I sold my first serious girl friend to other men to
help pay our rent, " I told her and then began to really
shake as every secret I tried to hide was now coming out.

Ivy took a deep breath, thought for a moment or two before
she said, " My Uncle Randall started molesting me
when I was fourteen. I told my mother but she told me I was
lying and not to wreck our families reputation by telling
anyone of tale like that, " Ivy said as the tears began
to stream down her face.

I asked Ivy how far her uncle went with her and she sobbed
and told me her uncle Randall went all the way with her. "But
hey, it was apparently no big deal, because my mother simply
put me on the pill and told me to keep my mouth shut""
Ivy added as I reached out and held her as she continued sobbing.

I waited a few minutes to help her calm back down before I
asked her when she finally stopped it. "I was seventeen
and I had to go over to his house, once a week after school,
, until one time when I went over, I kicked him between her
legs hard enough to double him over, " Ivy said still
sobbing. We had each bared our souls and revealed our secrets
to each other before Ivy and I slowly came together and simply
held each other for support.

And out of instinct she tried to hold herself back like she
had done before when she was being touched by her uncle,
but slowly Ivy softened up and moved closer to me so I could
hold her in my arms to make her feel safe in a man's arms
for the first time in her life. Ivy and I then kissed once
and then twice before she finally pulled back half smiling
while still, half crying.

I asked her if she was going to tell her husband about my story
for his book and Ivy just shook her head no. "You do
realize, now that we know so much about it each, there is
one thing we have to do for sure, " I said next to her.
Her eyes got very big as she stared at me as if she might start
shaking at any moment.

I told her to trust me so I got up and reached for her hand.
Ivy hesitated for a moment before she reached up and took
hold of my hand so I could help her to her feet. "Ok now
tell me what we have to do?" She asked. I told Ivy she
would have to just trust me and began to lead her towards
the front door which is also where the stairs were leading
up to the bedrooms.

" I not ready for that, " She said as I turned,
chuckled and told her she was most definitely ready. "No,
I really am not, ready, " Ivy said once we got to the
bottom of the stairs. I then opened the front door and confused
Ivy when I led her outside, onto the porch, down the stairs
and up their driveway towards the open garage.

"Where are you taking me and why?" Ivy asked
as I pulled her along. I found the light switch in their garage
and flipped it on before I reached up and took down the bike
that was hanging from the ceiling on hooks. "You have
got to be kidding me, " Ivy said as she got this huge
grin on her entire face. "From now on, you will never
be able to say again, that you don't know how to ride
a bike, " I said as she giggled as she climbed onto
the seat.

She didn't weigh much so it was easy to hold her upright
and run along side of her as she began to learn on to pedal
and slowly balance herself too. "You're doing
really well, " I kept telling her even if her balance
was not very good yet. It took Ivy and I about a half hour before
I let go of the back of the seat and let Ivy pedal all alone
down their long driveway. I can say, I have ever seen a prouder
person that Ivy was that night.

She was so excited she couldn't stop giggling and jumping
around as if she was a seven year old little girl, all over
again. She then told me we had to go on a bike ride for sure
the next day but I told Ivy I didn't have a bike and couldn't
afford one, right now. "Don't worry. I will buy
you a brand new one tomorrow, " She said still smiling
from ear to ear.

I arrived at two the next afternoon as planned and not only
did Ivy have a brand new bike waiting for me, she also had
her hair down and no longer in a bun. "If you keep riding
your bike every day, you are going to have one hell of a tan
by the time summer is over, " I said as we rode off side
by side. She was still not very good at it but Ivy tried hard
and managed to fall only once on our two hour ride.

We got back to their home around four and found Derek, her
husband was also back home, after a weekend away with a friend.
I took just one look at him and knew he was not right for Ivy.
Derek may have had his doctorate, but he was in his fifties
and a girl Ivy's age needed a man close to her own age.
But he was cordial and I was cautious , when we shook hands.

I told Ivy it would be safer if I kept my new bike in their garage,
if that was ok because it would get stolen at my apartment.
"Sure that would be ok. Derek wont' mind, "
she said as she walked me back to their garage. So I put it
in a place I thought would be out of the way and as I began to
walk back out, Ivy stopped me and wrapped her arms around
my neck. "Our bike ride today. Well I am going to consider
that my first date, ever, as long as it is ok with you, "
She said before she slowly pressed her warm, soft lips against

I was always a bit uncomfortable spending so much time with
Ivy since she was married, but she always claimed Derek
didn't mind at all. And as the summer came and it got
even hotter, so did Ivy's new look. I was going to summer
school as well as working part time but every other second
I had free, I was with Ivy.

She never went back to work in the admissions office because
she said, I was her main project from now on. It was four thirty
on a Wednesday afternoon when Ivy stopped over at my small
dumpy apartment when our kisses finally didn't stop.
And the more we kissed, the more I wanted to kiss her and the
more she wanted to kiss me. It was also the first time I slowly
slid my hand up under her top and felt her soft breast. Ivy
had begun wearing tight tops and no bra and after enough
time seeing her chest, I just needed to also touch it.

She whimpered once as my hand slowly rose up under her top
until the palm of my and finally rested on her delicate,
soft mounds. She was still trembling but not from fear any
longer. Ivy kept kissing me with even more passion until
she pulled back and looked into my eyes when she whispered,
"I am ready."

We shared my bed and when I finally helped her remove her
panties, Ivy's face had a bright red glow. Her tall
slender frame looked incredible and the dark patch of hair
she had around her pussy, drew me to it like a magnet. Ivy
then flopped her arms and gasped a lot, once I began to taste
her sweetness as her body kept building up steam. But I couldn't
get enough of her womanly scent as my tongue kept working
and my nose felt like it was in heaven.

Her first climax was good but her second got even better
and Ivy was basically then going out of her mind. "You
can stop me if you have to, " I said to her as I began
to climb on top of her outstretched body as she laid on her
back and appeared to tense up a lot. "If you need me
to stop, just ask me because I will. Do you understand?"I
asked Ivy. She nervously nodded her head as she waited to
be penetrated again.

That had to have once been a horrible experience for her
but I wanted it to be different for her with me. "I love
you, " I said softly to Ivy as a smile formed on her
face before she whispered back to me, "I love you too."
And then we both experienced the wonderful sensations
of our two bodies coming together for the first time.

Ivy still trembled a few times until she had my entire shaft
inside of her pussy but then her urges began to take over
and she wanted to hump back and show me she was into this as
much as I was. And let me tell, Ivy knew how to really sure
her hips and hump like she had done it a million times before.

She was perfectly tight, wet and hot, as she suctioned my
cock with her pussy, over and over and over again. "We
are actually making love, " Ivy said with her eyes
focused on my face. "We sure are and isn't it great, "
I said as my shaft kept slipping in and out of her warm hole.
"It's wonderful", Ivy said before I began
to thrust a bit harder. "Yes honey, I like that even
more" Ivy said as I picked up our pace. My shaft grew
rigid and it then burst as I shot her full within a few seconds.

Ivy then acted like a crazy woman, constantly laughing,
and running around my bedroom without even bothering to
cover herself. She had gone from being this very plain,
very modest woman to this crazy, upbeat sexual creature
that I had never met before.

"Let's do it again. That was so amazing"
Ivy said standing by the side of my bed with her cute tits
and hairy pussy there to coaxed me some more.. "You
have to give me some time to recover, " I told her.
so Ivy then asked how long that would take. "We have
the rest of the afternoon and night" I reminded her
as she giggled and told me she didn't want to wait that
long. Ivy and I fucked for the second time a half hour after
we had finished round one.

Our lives changed very quickly after that. Ivy filed for
a divorce and I moved into her house a couple of months later,
since it was actually her house and not her husband's.
It turned out Ivy had a trust fund from the grandparents
and she had used some of those monies to buy the house, in
the first place.

A month after I graduated from college, four years later,
Ivy and I also got married. My life was a far cry from how it
started out and so was Ivy's. But together, we found
some middle ground and raised our only daughter in a world
she would grow up being comfortable in and not ashamed of.

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a love story with a happy ending with some sex thrown in for good measure.


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A relationship that was found by trust and ended in love, fantastic !


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you can look until you're blue in the simply happens when you least expect it