Member Article:Uncommon Sense Post Your Comment

rm_gnosis1970 51 M
1  Article
Don't like So so Good Very Good Excellent

What do you think?

 

Uncommon Sense

3/29/2007

Monday

I am waking up, but I am not sure I want to…My dreams have been
so real. You are…no wait… were here. Can I go back to sleep
so I can see you again. No. She stirs beside me. It is time
to face the day. I open my eyes to a low light. It will be dawn
soon. I turn to look. Maybe it wasn’t a dream. Maybe it is
you…

Of course it’s not. You are waking up to see him. I wonder…hope
that my dream was your dream. Are you as deeply disappointed
as I am at this moment?

I smile at her of course. I tell her good morning and I lightly
kiss her. I ask how she slept and I guess I really want to know.
If she slept restlessly then perhaps she suspects. If she
slept soundly then I am not in fear of losing you.

I get up and turn on the light which burns my eyes. I trudge
to the shower and watch as the steam begins to cloud the air.
I watch as the water strikes my skin and rolls down my chest.


I see you.

You are slightly chilled so your naked body is covered with
goose bumps. Your nipples are erect because of the chill,
but in my imagination it is my touch that has caused this.
You open your shower door and step into the steaming shower.
I watch as you let the water bead along your shoulders. I
watch as it streams down over you breast and around your
hips. You close your eyes and turn around letting the water
roll down your back. Your head is back as you run your fingers
through your hair. I watch as you massage your temples,
which makes my heart ache because I know how hard it is for
you. I watch as you put shampoo (Asian Citrus, or course)
into your palms and I am amazed at how you can make something
as simple as washing your hair seem so erotic.

I can not control myself any longer. I am no longer content
to simply watch. I reach out to touch you...

“Don’t use all the hot water. I still have to shower. “ I’m
back…snatched away again. Touching is not for today. Although,
my erection screams for release, I will leave it be. Strange
as it may seem, my discomfort will act as a sweet reminder
of you.

I wait until she leaves the room and I quickly shave, shampoo
and brush my teeth. As I get out of the shower I resist the
temptation to watch as you dry yourself off. She’ll be back
soon, and it would be best not to have to explain.

I am out the door and again I am amazed at where I see you. The
sun is coming up over the horizon and the reflection off
of the clouds is the bright hazel of your eyes. It comes close
to your beauty, but even this work of art does not quite compare
to you. I watch as the colors fade into a shade of yellow,
highlighting the green just now succeeding in escaping
the bonds of a hard winter.

I have to get to work, but driving through traffic is difficult.
I am still gazing upon your face. I pull over and pull the
rearview mirror toward me.

“Get control of yourself.” I demand in a whisper only I can
hear. But even now, as I look upon my lips I imagine them pressed
against yours…”Get control!”

I continue my day viewing the world through glasses that
are shaded with the anticipation of seeing you again…not
in my dreams but in my arms.



Tonight, the kids are in bed. We are sitting on opposite
sides of the room as usual. We have completed all the small
talk. We have hugged and even kissed, a simple peck here
or there. It is what we are reduced to.

She has gone to bed now. I sneak (in my own home) into the den
to check my email. There is a brief message from you. “I love
the way you kiss”. 6 words but they glow from the screen almost
brighter than I can stand to gaze upon. But, of course, I
can not look away. I stare at the words for 10 minutes at which
time the screen shuts off on its own, forcing me back to reality.


I contemplate the dark screen and I wonder when we, she &
I, became this way. I don’t remember an epiphany. Perhaps
I should have seen it coming. Perhaps now it is too late.
Perhaps now I am blind to anything but you.

Tuesday

There you are again whispering in my ear. Come closer so
I can hear better. I lean forward only to realize that once
again, you were in my dreams. But what of the whisper…Ah.
I hear her in the shower. I hear the hiss of water flowing
through the pipes. There was a time when I would have anticipated
the excitement of joining her. Now I listen to my own heart
beat faster as I remember my thoughts of you yesterday morning.


I decide to stay in bed with my thoughts for just a while longer,
but the dog is whining. I get up to let her out. As she runs
out the back door she immediately begins to bark at some
small animal or whatever other threat to a dog’s security
she might sense. The bark is a wake up call. “Today I will
listen to the voice of reason” I say to myself.

“What?” I did not hear her come up behind me.

“Nothing”, I answer. She would not grasp the concept of
reason anyway. It does not fit into her simple world of being
told what to do by her god.

“Good morning, ” I say. “How’d you sleep?”

“Good, ” she answers.

“Good, ” I think. I wonder if she can hear the relief in my
heart.

The dog is wanting back in. I can hear her claws on the deck
as she prances around. She knows she will get a treat when
she comes in. She lives a simple life. Show love, get pet
and fed. At first is seems appealing to me, but then I think
about how I would miss the excitement of listening to you
talk to me and being able to understand the depth of your
mind and heart. No, the shallowness of a dog’s life does
not appeal to me.

I kiss her goodbye, and tell her to have a good day. “I love
you.” She says. “I love you, too.” I say. And I do. She is a
pretty decent person in general. But as I have grown older
I have come to listen to a different voice, one that screams
at me that I am dying from a lack of mental and emotional nutrition.


I turn the key in the truck and the engine roars to life sucking
up the oxygen and fuel and spitting out a rash of pollutants
into the air that will continue to slowly kill us all.

I am not a modern rock fan but as I am looking for a good new
age station on my XM Satellite radio, I stumble across a
song I have not heard before:

honey why are you calling me so late it's kinda hard to talk right now honey why are you crying is everything okay i gotta whisper cause i can't be too loud well, my girls in the next room sometimes i wish she was you

it's really good to hear your voice saying my name it sounds so sweet coming from the lips of an angel hearing those words it makes me weak and i never wanna say goodbye but girl you make it hard to be faithful with the lips of an angel

it's funny that you're calling me tonight and yes i've dreamt of you too and does he know you're talking to me will it start a fight no i don't think she has a clue well my girls in the next room sometimes i wish she was you

it's really good to hear your voice saying my name it sounds so sweet coming from the lips of an angel hearing those words it makes me weak and i never wanna say goodbye but girl you make it hard to be faithful with the lips of an angel



I find out it is by a band I have never heard of called Hinder.
Not exactly about us, but the truth is, everything I hear
makes me think of you.

I finally give up on the radio and put in a CD. My cell phone
rings. I have forgotten to put it on vibrate. Once again
my thoughts of you are interrupted. I am a little irritated
because it is likely someone from work wanting something
from me or complaining about something or other.

“Hello.” I haven’t looked to see if I recognized the number.


“Hi.” You say. Suddenly my world spins but then seems to
stop exactly where it’s supposed to. “Hey.” I say. “I was
just thinking about you.” Which I know sounds like bullshit
but it can always be said because it seems like I am always
fucking thinking about you. “I only have about 10 minutes, ”
you say.

I wonder if you can hear the quiver of excitement in my voice
despite my best efforts to be nonchalant. I wonder because
I can hear it even over the ticking of my dashboard digital
clock which has suddenly gotten very loud and obvious.


“Yeah, me too. I am almost to the office. I have a pretty crazy
day.” I guess I am trying to make you think that I am not desperately
trying to just get through the day without anyone noticing
that I can’t focus on anything. God forbid that you know
that in just a short time you have utterly and completely
taken control of my heart.

I tell you that I got your email but I don’t mention the 10
minute stare. I want to ask what scent your shampoo is but
I can’t get up the nerve. Instead I listen to your sweet voice
tell me about your expected day and how you have to drop the
kids off and how He has treated you like shit and how much
you have come to care for me…

What?

My self-doubt has been erased. I am ready to tell you everything
now, but I can’t seem to speak louder than my heart.

You have to go, but not before telling me that he is going
away on Saturday morning for an over night trip. Would I
be available? (For you I would re-arrange my schedule with
God) “I might be able to make arrangements. I’ll have to
see if she has anything scheduled.” And after promising
to try to call again later, you are gone…

My day at the office is a mixture of shrill cell phone tones
and even shriller voices. Everything sounds bitter compared
to the memory of your voice. I am constantly asking people
to repeat things and I answer with words that seem robotic.
No one seems to notice which is an immense source of amazement
to me. Am I that good of an actor?



I have not heard back from you. I know this is not uncommon.
Sometimes we can not find the opportunity. It is one of the
frustrating things about this affair, but I also wonder
if it is one of the things that makes it so exciting.

She is telling me about her job. How she is getting tired
of it. How difficult it is getting. She will be quitting
this one soon, just like the last 3 she had within the last
6 months. Its okay, we can afford for her not to work, but
it epitomizes some of what has driven me to you. She does
not like a challenge. I listen to her and try to remember
that John Gray advised me not to try and fix everything.
I learned a long time ago that she does not take advice from
me anyway. I am too analytical. Her decisions need to be
based strictly on emotion.

We play a game of Yatzee before she goes to bed. The dice are
like explosions as they strike the bare table top. There
is very little strategy to this game which is good as I can
play with thoughts of you running in the background. She
goes to bed happy as she has rolled the best score. She asks
if I am coming to bed. I tell her I am going to watch a bit of
TV. We kiss goodnight. She goes to the bedroom and I sit in
the living room where the screen of my laptop beckons me
to search for you.

I turn on the television simply to listen to the background
noise. It drowns out the beating of my heart which once again
has sped up as I anticipate reading your words.

In the bedroom I hear her put down her Bible and tap the light
off. The click of my mouse seems loud enough to wake the neighborhood,
but it doesn’t matter at this point. You are all that matters
now.

I woke sometime in the night to thunder. Or maybe it was the
wall I keep in front of my heart crashing down.

Wednesday

I can feel the wind from the fan on my face. It is a cool contrast
to the warmth of my body beneath the blankets. I have to get
up to face another day away from you. But this is okay. I have
Saturday to look forward to.

It seems that I can feel everything right now. I feel the
diminishing remains of my arousal left over from my dreams
of you. I feel the smooth silk of the sheets as I slide out
from under the blankets and I am immediately aroused again
because it reminds me of your touch. I feel the humidity
in the air from the steam that remains from her shower. I
hear her in the bathroom getting ready for work.

I have over slept a bit so I go to the bathroom. She has notices
the bulge in my underwear and comments about it. I laugh
a bit and make a comment in return. Typical sexual banter
among us. It’s fairly safe. We both are in a hurry.

She is just finishing up in the bathroom as I get in the shower.


I am alone with my thoughts of you. I imagine you in the shower
with me. We embrace and you can feel my manhood pressed against
your belly. I am ready to explode as you step back and lightly
caress the shaft…

God damnit!!! The water is getting cold.

“Saturday, ” I say out loud.

“What about it?” she asks. I did not hear her come back into
the bathroom.

“Don’t forget I am going over to Mike’s for Poker. I will
probably go straight from work.” I have told her I had a training
meeting during the day. “I don’t know how late I will be.
By the way, thanks for leaving me some hot water.” I can’t
help the sarcasm.

She grunts an apology and she is off to work.

I finish washing and get out of the shower very aware of how
tight my skin is after taking a cold shower. I towel myself
off and once again feel the burden of my slow to recede erection.
Hopefully it will be gone before I get to the office. But,
then again, I am in one of those moods where it just might
be fun to watch everyone squirm, snicker, and blush. Even
if it does go away, maybe someday I’ll walk in with a cucumber
shoved in my pants.

I’m just pissed at the cold water.

It is a beautiful day but rain is predicted again later.
I can feel a slight vibration in my truck as I drive to work.
I think maybe I have a bit of mud in the tires.

(Saturday)

I roll down the window and breathe in the fresh air. It fills
my lungs with life and gives me a strength that I know I will
need to complete another day of wanting you but not being
able to touch you.

I am holding you now close to me. How did you get here? It doesn’t
matter. You are here. You are leaning against me as I drive
and I slow down because I don’t want to get wherever it is
that we are going yet. I want to prolong this moment as long
as I can. My arm is around you pulling you close to me and lightly
stroking the lobe of your right ear. I have got to keep my
eyes on the road and trust my left hand to be quick enough
to react to any traffic surprises, but to have your body
molded close to mine is worth the risk. Your left hand lightly
caresses my thigh and you reach up with your right to take
hold of my index finger. I can feel your head pressed against
my shoulder and I am amazed at how right this feels.

Fuck what society thinks. I really am in a rebellious mood
today.

I bring the truck to a stop and lean over to press my lips against
your forehead. I can feel the warmth of my breath coming
back to me as I whisper my thanks for you..

I walk into the office. Fortunately our embrace was sensual
but not sexual. I am spared the necessity of carrying my
laptop in front of me.



She has been very physical tonight. She sat next to me on
the couch. She hugged me tight when I came home. I am half
expecting her to tell me she quit her job.

Its not that I am repulsed by her affections. Once upon a
time we had something very nice. Its just that it always
seems to be on her terms. I long for that mutual desire.

I know where this is going. She is going to want to make love
tonight. It annoys me how she always says it this way, “make
love”…like we are a couple of factories. Love is not made
from sex, but rather the emotion and the intimacy that can
make sex so good. The opening up of one’s self. She believes
she is fulfilling her wifely obligations by offering.
What she doesn’t realize is that when it’s offered now,
it is somewhat resented. She has successfully made it to
where she can do it totally on her time line, regardless
of my needs or desires. I no longer ask because the connection
with her is no longer worth the rejection. I don’t want it
on my terms either. I want it on our terms.

Our “love making” has become so routine. There is never
any exploration. I know exactly how to satisfy her and in
her mind my release is synonymous with my satisfaction.
I have tried to explain that for me it is more about the intimacy,
the sharing, the connection, the trust but there is no Biblical
basis for those things in relation to sex.

Tonight however, I am willing. I can feel her writhe as I
bring her to climax and my orgasm is more intense than it
has been for sometime.

My eyes are closed during all of this. How else could I see
your face so clearly?

It is much later now. She is sleeping and I feel the weight
of a book on my chest. I can feel a body pressed against mine
and I glance over as I have many times in the last hour…

Maybe this time it really will be you.

Thursday

It must have been good for her last night because she has
made me coffee this morning. I can smell it as I once again
come out of my dreams of you.

She has already left for work when I get out of bed. I get a
cup of coffee and walk outside onto the deck to watch the
sunrise. It rained again last night and the crisp clean
smell of the air combined with the aroma of freshly brewed
joe is overwhelming. I inhale deeply, it is almost as if
I am pulling the sun from its slumber. The new light of the
day fills my nostrils and gives me the strength I need.

I decide to put on some clothes and I go for a run. I have the
dog with me and she keeps trying to detour to the side of the
road. Finally I give up trying to run with her and I slow to
a walk. Obviously she is smelling the world as clearly as
I am, likely more clearly.

It is fully light now and the clean smell is beginning to
be replaced by the fumes of the cars & trucks all rushing
to work. I smile at the thought that they are all driving
by oblivious to my secret.

I get back to my house and decide to sit outside again while
I drink another cup of coffee. I have no pressing business
at the office today, so I have decided to take my time getting
there. But as my body begins to cool from my walk, I can smell
my own sweat and the sour remnants of last night’s sex.

I strip my shorts and shirt and toss them to the laundry and
climb into a hot shower. The steam fills my sinuses and clears
my thoughts once again, except the thought of you.

I close my eyes and pull you close to me so that I can breathe
in your essence. I can smell your shampoo (definitely something
citrus) and I am certain that if I could taste it, it would
be delicious. I am content to just hold you for now.

I get dressed and put on my cologne. Cool Water by Davidoff
whatever the fuck that means. I like the smell of it though.
Subtle and clean.

I like days like this. I have a very light schedule today
which means that I have more time to lock myself in my office
and contemplate things. I spoke to you again on the phone
on the way here. We talked of taking a weekend this summer
and going away to the beach somewhere. I close my eyes and
picture us standing together somewhere along the southern
part of the California shore line holding hands and breathing
in the saline fragrance of the sea. Why do I feel so at peace
in this scene?

Someone has made a bag of popcorn for lunch in the office
and the scent brings me back to where I am. I should probably
get something done.



When I get home I can smell dinner. She has grilled chicken
and some rice with a crab salad. I can tell immediately that
there is something wrong. I hate walking into this kind
of atmosphere. It seems to be common place, though. I feel
like I want to turn around and leave again.

She has been fighting with the kids. I am amazed at how someone
who claims to want to dedicate her life to working with kids
can so easily stoop to the same immature level that they
exhibit. What better way to handle a seven year old than
to argue like a seven year old, I guess. But what do I know,
except that I would love to come home and not find out that
I have been used as a threat all day. How dare she sabotage
my relationship with them like this.

But, I have had a great day, and after all it is only 2 days
away from Saturday. I will handle this. We eat as a family
using the knives to cut the chicken as well as the tension.
After dinner, she flees into the bedroom and I work to get
the kids ready for bed.

I can see in my daughter’s face who was the mature one tonight.
I kiss her goodnight after reading her a story.

The light is still on in my bedroom but she is sleeping. I
tap the light off without kissing her goodnight and I go
to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of cabernet. Then I
go to the den to find you.

You are there waiting.

Friday

This morning I wake up with a bitter/sour taste in my mouth
left over from the wine last night. We were up until 3 chatting
online and the wine was a wonderful supplement to the taste
of desire I felt. I am awed by the way your words flow together
even as you type them on a screen.

I need to get to the office early today so I rush to get into
the shower before she does. I wash my hair and shave quickly
and to save time I brush in the shower. She has bought some
new citrus mint toothpaste and I chuckle at the irony. She
has no idea that she is simply helping me imagine you.

I am tempted to leave the hot water running even after I get
out, but I decide not to be an asshole.

I make a small pot of coffee and pour it into a insulated mug
for the road. The aftertaste of the new toothpaste and gourmet
coffee makes for a flavor I am not real keen to. I dump half
the cup of coffee out the window and instead reach for the
can of V-8 I grabbed from the refrigerator on the way out
of the house. That is a bit better, but I wonder what all the
sodium is doing to my heart.

I have a meeting today with a potential client and her husband.
They are both very young and as they sit in my office discussing
finances I can not help but to admire her beauty. However,
even this 20 something model holds no desire for me. She
does not come close to you. Your beauty is so much more than
a surface phenomenon. This child would not understand
that. She throws her appearance around my office as if it
is her birth right to have men goggle at her. Her husband
is too hypnotized to notice. I taste bile in the back of my
throat.

I am not very hungry for lunch. In fact my stomach seems so
tight and twisted I can’t imagine eating anything. I am
truly like a high school boy going on his first date. I did
not know I could feel this way again. I don’t think I knew
how to appreciate it back then. I do now. Tomorrow seems
to be taking forever to arrive.

Finally I have succeeded in completing another day. When
I get home she is sitting in the living room watching TV.
“Hi, ” I say, testing the waters. She seems to be in a better
mood tonight. One of the kids, my daughter, is staying over
at friends house tonight.

“Sorry I didn’t make supper.” She says.

“No problem, ” I say. “I’ll get something.” But the truth
is, I am still not hungry. Instead of getting food, I grab
a glass of wine.

“Rough day?” She asks. I know where this is going. She hates
it when I drink alcohol. It does not fit into her view of the
perfect God fearing husband she wants to make me into.

“No, not really. Why?” I don’t feel like arguing about this,
not tonight.

I take a sip of the wine and let it settle on my pallet for a
few seconds before swallowing. It flows down my throat
and I can feel the warmth it brings me even after one sip.
I should drink on an empty stomach more often, I think. Be
a lot cheaper.

The conversation is over. She is engrossed in the television.
I go into the den to check the weather online. Tomorrow is
going to be incredible. We have made arrangements to go
hiking near Clifty Falls. The temperature is predicted
to be a high of 85 degrees and sunny. Possible thunderstorms
later in the day, but only a slight chance.

While I am online I send a quick email to you. Everything
is still on for tomorrow. I go out back and sit on the deck,
taking the half full bottle of wine with me.

At some point, after I have watched the sun go down, she interrupts
my thoughts of you to say goodnight. I take another sip of
wine and taste the slightly wooden, fruity aroma of a great
cabernet.

I close my eyes and dream of tasting you.

Tomorrow.

Saturday

She is asleep still. She sleeps in on the weekends. I mean
late, like until 10. I could not sleep that long. I love life
way too much. I glance at her and watch as she stirs. I have
to get a change of clothes and throw them in a duffle bag.
My heart is pumping blood through my veins so quickly that
I am seeing a red tint. I can hear it so loudly that I am afraid
I won’t hear her if she wakes up. I grab some shorts and a t-shirt
and my hiking boots and I shove them in the back pack and I
quietly take them to the garage and put them in the truck.


I come back inside and smile to myself as I realize that she
is still sleeping. I get undressed and climb in the shower
and today I take my time. No worries about hot water today
so I let it stream across my face and chest. I close my eyes
and know that today I will not have to settle for talking
on the phone. Today I will hear the angelic song that is your
voice in person. Today I will bury myself in your hair and
know the kind of shampoo you use. Today I will taste the heavenly
flavor of your lips as I kiss you. Today I will feel the caress
of your skin against mine. Today I will admire the beauty
and art of your eyes and your face and your body. To gaze upon
you will be like seeing a master’s proudest work. My eyes
will take in what many see but that few will ever appreciate
the way I do. Today I will hold you in my arms and know that
despite the obstacles, you are mine.

I get out of the shower and dry myself off. I throw on my robe
and go to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. Then I go back
to dress into my work clothes. All the while I am thinking
of the fa├žade…the lie. For as soon as I leave the house I plan
to stop somewhere to change. I think about how this will
be the smallest and most innocent of all the things I will
do today.

I grab a cup of coffee and go to the deck to sip it. This is a
beautiful day. I can hear a lawnmower crank up somewhere,
someone getting an early start on the yard work. As I listen
to one of the kids turn the TV on inside to watch the Saturday
morning cartoons, I think about how unfair it is that this
feeling dwelling in my chest is caused by something society
says is wrong. I am again amazed at how right it feels. In
less than 2 hours, I will be in your presence.

I finish my coffee and go back inside. I sit with the kids
for a moment and I know they are the reason it has to stay this
way.

I go into the bedroom where she is still sleeping soundly
and I gently kiss her on the head.

I am in the truck and on the road. I stop at the Shell station
in town and I change into my clothes and buy a couple bottled
waters and some trail mix. Our hike will not be really long
today. The trail is a 6.8 mile loop through dense forest.
There are enough rocks, creeks, and other obstacles to
make it a challenge, but not so much that we can’t complete
it in 3 hours or so if we were to rush it. I do not anticipate
needing to rush today. I have hiked this trail a couple of times but never this early
in the season. The leaves are just now beginning to become
full on the trees and the air is filled with the fresh aroma
of spring. With all of the rain, I am sure that the creeks
will be high and there may be some mud. But I am also sure that
my favorite characteristic of the trail, a 40’ waterfall,
will be flowing in full force, though the water will likely
be very cold.

I pull into the parking lot near the trail head 5 minutes
before I am to meet you. There is only one other vehicle in
the lot and at this I am pleased. Selfish as it may seem, I
do not want to share you with anyone today, even a stranger.
Just as I am pulling into a space at the other end of the lot
I realize that an angel is has driven the other car here.


You step out of the car.

Time stops for a moment, or a lifetime, and in this instance
I observe every detail. Your brown hair is pulled into a
pony-tail and the light breeze lifts your bangs across
your face. I normally have seen you dressed nice for work
with make-up and hairspray and professional clothes.
This is the first time I have seen the rugged you and I am amazed
at how good you look. There is a slight stirring in my loins.
You are wearing a white Turbo yoga tank which fits your exquisitely
formed body with precision. You are carrying a black shoulder
bag over your left shoulder and for a moment I am jealous
of it being so close to you. My eyes move to your dark gray,
lightweight convertible pants and I for a moment imagine
the sculpture’s shape of your muscular legs hidden beneath
them. You have on a pair of Salomon mid-top hiking shoes
to complete the attire.

I feel completely out of my league here, with my gray utility
shorts and my Barbados t-shirt. But your smile sends my
doubts away in a flurry as time comes back to normal and you
stride towards me.

A week’s worth of anticipation and pent up passion comes
erupting out as we embrace and I finally am able to press
my lips against yours and kiss you. I am amazed to feel tears
well up and I fight to keep them back (God, I’ve got it bad).
After moment, we break the kiss and I place my hands on both
sides of your face and stare into your eyes.

“Hi, ” I say.

“Hi, ” You say back. We both smile and then you move forward
to kiss me once again. Our kiss is slow and filled with passion.
Your lips brush mine at first, almost teasingly. Then they
join. My tongue begins to explore the opening of your mouth
which opens slightly. Our tongues meet and I can taste something
sweet on your breath.

A soft moan escapes from deep within your throat. We separate,
reluctantly, letting our fingers come together for a moment
before we are parted.

You tell me you have made some lunches for us to eat later,
some fruit and a veggie sub for us each. You have them packed
away in your bag. I fill a canteen I have brought with me with
a couple bottles of water and I let it hang from a shoulder
strap. I offer to carry you back pack, but you will have nothing
of it. I resist the urge to be chivalrous.

We lock the vehicles and start our trek.

The first few minutes are filled with small talk but as we
come to our stride we let the silence embrace us. We listen
to the sounds of the woods: a woodpecker searching food,
trees creaking from a wind dance, a distance creek gurgling
over some rocks. And the sound of my heart, racing, but not
from the work out. Just being with you is filling my soul
with a much needed energy. Your aura is strong enough that
I do not need to hear your voice to know that you are sharing
the wonder of this experience with me.

Most of the trail is too narrow for us to walk side by side
so you take the lead. I find myself watching you glide over
the obstacles and I have to force my eyes away from your back
to the trail after I stumble for a third time.

We stop for a quick rest after an hour and at a marker on the
trail that says we have come just under 2 miles. You unzip
the bottom part of your pants and place them in your back
pack. We share some water from the canteen and we are off
again.

I am having an even tougher time now because I can see how
incredible your legs are. I can see the muscles ripple all
the way down your back and your thighs. You have a slightly
darker spot on your back from perspiration and I can see
the sweat bead on your calves. It is past noon now and through
the foliage I can see a few clouds I the sky, but it is still
mostly sunny.

Near the 4 mile marker, the trail comes to a creek that is
at some spots 2’ deep. The water is crystal clear. We stop
and I watch as you lean down over a rock and dip your hands
in the water. You begin to rub the water across your face
and your fingers through you hair. I watch as again you wet
your hands and transfer the water to your chest. I am not
even sure you realize what the action has done to me but I
find I have to make an adjustment in order to be able to walk
further. I could watch you do this forever and consider
myself in heaven.

The trail follows along side the creek for the remainder
of the hike so the rhythm of its journey downstream becomes
our accompanying music. Sometimes it is fast and loud,
sometimes it is nearly silent with just a whisper, but always
it is there to compliment the wonder of this journey.

We have hiked for nearly 3 hours and it is early afternoon
now. The main trail splits off and heads back to the parking
lot which is only about half a mile further. But we take the
fork to the right towards the waterfall. This natural phenomenon
is such a rarity in this geographical area that I am amazed
that it is not more well known and popular, but I have found
that very few people, even the ones who live in the area are
aware of its existence. I can’t help but to wonder if perhaps
nature did not place it here strictly for you and I.

I was right to anticipate its flow. We can hear the roar of
it even before we see its tumble from above. The air has grown
noticeably cooler and it is filled with a mist that sticks
to our skin and dampens our clothes even further than our
perspiration has. The fall is only about 15’ wide but it
pours down in a solid wall hiding a shallow cavern behind
it. The water collects into a pool that is about 10’ deep
at its deepest point but is mostly between 2’ and 5’ deep.
I have swum in this pool many times but never with an angel.


There is a clearing and the sun is shining hard upon us. We
find a flat rock a little ways away from the fall and you fish
the sandwiches from your back pack. It surprises me a bit
how comfortable our silence is. I have spent every waking
hour longing to hear your voice this past week but now that
I am here with you, your presence alone speaks volumes to
me. It is loud enough to wet the insatiable desire I have
for you.

I compliment you on the homemade subs. We are sitting side
by side, our shoulders and arms touching with our legs dangling
over the edge of the rock. We both have taken our shoes off
and my feet are submerged in the water but you are brushing
your toes on its surface. The water is about 6 feet deep below
this rock, but the water is so clear we can easily see the
bottom. There are two decent sized trout waltzing in the
water beneath our feet. Our hands, your left & my right
are dancing with each other as well. Our fingers slowly
exploring the others.

I have excused myself briefly to find a tree and just as I
am finishing, I hear a slash. I am momentarily alarmed until
I glance at the rock and see a heap of clothing where you had
been sitting. I can not make my way back to the rock very quickly
because of my bare feet but I do arrive just in time to see
you reemerge from the depth of the water. I am truly in awe
of your beauty. There is no camera in the world that could
capture the scene I am looking upon now. Your hair is slicked
back but the 8 inches that drops below your shoulders is
floating on the water behind and around your head as you
tread water facing me. Your naked body is distorted beneath
the water but I can see its shape ripple beneath you.

You are sublime.

You smile at me and turn to swim toward the falls. I know the
water must be freezing but it does not seem to affect you
and after the walk, I know how good it will feel to rinse off.
Besides, I would follow you into the artic if you so beckoned.
I strip my shirt and shorts and dive in. The shock of the frigid
water takes my breath away almost as completely as seeing
your exquisite body silhouetted under the falls. When
I reemerge from my dive, you are standing on the shelf behind
the falls. I can see the water pouring over your body and
I am reminded of my visions of you earlier in the week. This
is so much better. Despite the chill of the water, I am no
longer cold. I stop in an area where I can stand in about 5
feet of water and I watch as you glide your fingers through
you hair and then over you body. Your head is bent backwards
allowing the water to spray across your face. You cross
your arms briefly over your chest before washing your breast
with the clear water. I watch as you continue to cleanse
yourself, wiping away the sweat from your flat belly and
then your hips. You open your eyes and find me staring at
you with apt attention. You smile and once again you plunge
into the pool beneath the falls and swim 25’ underwater
emerging 2 feet in front of me.

You put your head down backwards in the water and sleek your
hair back. Then you turn your glowing hazel eyes towards
me and I can see the burning passion in them. It is a mirror
into my soul. You come to me wrapping your arms around my
neck. Your body fits perfectly into mine. Your nipples
are rock hard and I am very aware of them stabbing my chest.
You lift your legs and envelope my waist with them pressing
your hips against my fully erect member. I can feel the warmth
exploding from between your legs and I press back as once
again our lips come together. My arms embrace you and strive
to pull you even closer. Submerged in the water like this
you seem to be as light as a feather. My hands stroke your
back and slowly move toward your buttocks where I grasp
and pull you tighter and tighter. Our kiss is no longer restrained.
Our tongues are desperately exploring each other. Our
breathing is synchronized and our heads move around seeking
to devour the other. You begin to rock your hips rubbing
you clit against my penis. Together we cause little ripples
in the water with our rocking motion. You begin to moan and
my knees begin to buckle. I am very close to climax despite
the fact that I have yet to enter your sweet soft cavern.
I break our kiss and begin to carry you back to the rock where
our clothes are. I do not want to break apart, but the water
is over my head and I can not swim with you attached to me so
we separate. The moment you are away from me is agony. I want
you close. I need you close.

You swim ahead and I watch as you gracefully pull yourself
out of the water and lay down on your back on the rock. You
take the backpack and lay it under your head. I am out of the
water and I lay beside you up on one elbow. The heat of the
sun warmed rock is in stark contrast to the temperature
of the water. I gaze into your eyes for a moment before bringing
my head down to kiss you again, more slowly…more controlled
this time. I begin to move my mouth and tongue over your neck
and I suck the lobe of your ear and just under your hairline
on the back of your neck. Then I move down toward your shoulders
tasting the sweetness of your skin coated with the slight
musty flavor of the creek. My fingers trace the outline
of your breast then the circle around the small erect nipple
of your left breast. I kiss your chin before moving on to
your collar bone. Now as I lightly squeeze your left nipple
between my index finger and thumb, I allow my tongue to find
and caress your right one. You arch you back slightly and
I move to straddle your legs so that you are centered beneath
me. I bring as much of your right breast into my mouth as I
can and I suck on the nipple feeling it shiver beneath the
touch of my tongue. Then I kiss your sternum on my way to your
left breast. I then move back between them and continue
creating a path of light brushing kisses until I reach your
naval. I encircle this and taste your skin before continuing
south toward the moisture that screams my name. Your neatly
trimmed, very wet pubic hair brushes my nose as I breathe
in your essence. I by-pass this area for a moment and spread
my kisses around the inside of your thighs. Finally I blow
very gently on your clit and the lightly touch it with the
tip of my tongue. I listen to you as you moan and arch your
back higher encouraging me to do more than just touch. I
plunge my tongue deep into you and bring it up towards your
sweet spot. I taste your salty juices and beg for more. My
hands are grasping your butt and helping keep you stable.
I glance up to see you grabbing and kneading your breast
before reaching down and pressing my head deeper between
your thighs. You are moving your hips in a circular motion
and your moans are getting louder and louder. Suddenly,
your thighs stiffen and you lift your butt off of the rock
toward the sky. Your fingernails dig into the back of my
neck and head as your orgasm explodes through your body.
I try to continue but you move away and pull me towards you.
I lay on top of you and kiss you. You return the kiss passionately
as if you are trying to taste your own juices on my lips. You
then direct me to lay on my back and you straddle me, not quite
letting me enter you yet. You proceed to kiss my ears and
my neck all the while running your fingers through the hair
on my chest until your lips surround my nipples bringing
them as erect as my manhood. Finally, you position yourself
over me. As I enter your warm wet slit I have to restrain myself
from cumming immediately. You sit up pushing your breast
forward and you begin to rock on your knees, not really moving
up and down but more back and forth. Our hands are locked
together as our hips find the synchronous rhythm. It does
not take long, I can no longer hold back. My body tightens
and I pull you down close to me and press as deep as I can into
you as my juices burst from me and into you.

I can’t move for a long while and so we both remain still.
I am still inside of you and I think how great it would be to
remain this way forever. At this moment, I am as happy and
at peace as a man could ever dream of being.

At this moment I feel loved. Not the obligatory love of my
complacent marriage but the intimacy and passion of something
so much more and so much needed. At this moment, I think it
so unfair that life has brought you to me when I can only embrace
your love in rare stolen moments. I think that if there is
a God, then he is either laughing because of his cruelty
or he feeling pretty good about rewarding me with you even
if it is only on occasions like this.

We laid together for another hour and took another swim
before we got dressed and hiked back to our vehicles arriving
15 minutes before the downpour. Miraculously we did not
see another soul the entire time which convinces me even
more that this is absolutely right and pure.

It was torture having to be away from you as we drove back
to your house. But the remainder of the night was a blur of
touching, stroking, and mostly talking. I know in a fiction
story we would have shared our physical passion a few more
times but with you your mind is as beautiful as your body
and my hunger is for it all.

It is now 3 am. And I am sitting in the garage waiting to go
back inside. I will climb into bed beside her and in the morning
I will make up some amount that I won or lost in my poker game.
I will kiss her and play with my kids and try to pretend that
everything I see, touch, taste, hear, and smell does not
remind me of you. I will try to imagine that I am not counting
the seconds when I can be with you again.



K

Post Your Comment | Mark As Favorite

Member Responses Post Your Comment

Members can vote on this response!

Very boring too long with nothing interesting happening

3/30/2007

Members can vote on this response!

I actually liked this story. Sure, it's long, but it's
a nice story. I like how it tries to make cheating sound right,
and i can definently see how this guy would be torn with family
and this woman.

3/30/2007

Members can vote on this response!

OMG, that was beautiful. The story was so well told. I had
tears in my eyes. I would love to read other stuff that you
have written.

As to the reference to the song by Hinder, you may not be aware
that a country singer has also done a cover of this song,
it seems he know them or something. It is a beautiful song.
Check out the Jack Ingram version of it. Good story, very
well told. I feel your pain.

3/31/2007