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To begin again

1/20/2005

To begin again.
<br>

By Paul C.
<br>

Copyright 2004. All rights reserved.
<br>

Chapter 1.
<br>

“What you need is a good shag.” Nadine Fellows said as she
finished taking a sip of wine from her glass.
<br>

She looked across the table at the Castle Hotel in Taunton
at her friend Natasha Wagstaffe and smiled.
<br>

“I don’t think so.” Natasha frowned as she replied causing
the end of her nose to screw up slightly.
<br>

“Well.” Nadine wasn’t going to leave this particular bone
alone. “When was the last time?”
<br>

“What?”
<br>

“You know. When you went with a man.”
<br>

“Shush.” Natasha hissed glancing furtively around the
three parts filled restaurant. “People will hear.”
<br>

Nobody seemed to be taking the slightest interest in them.
<br>

“Well.” Nadine insisted. “When was it?”
<br>

“Phil.” Natasha sighed.
<br>

“But you haven’t seen him since you left Music College.”
<br>

“I know.” Natasha studied the remains on her plate. “Since
what happened in Germany I don’t know. I just don’t want
to.”
<br>

“I’m sure you do.”
<br>

Natasha clenched the tops of her thighs together. From
the response of her body to her own touch while she had lain
in bed that morning she did. But since the year before when
she had been in Germany and she had been made to lay naked
on the floor of her brother David’s bands coach and expose
herself to those men while they broadcast pictures of her
onto the internet and then later to be threatened with
in front of a bank of cameras she hadn’t felt able to relax
with men. Not that she hadn’t had plenty of offers. She smiled
to herself when she thought back to her visit to the States
three months before to watch David’s final concert on his
current tour.
<br>

She’d been invited up on stage and had played the piano on
one of the bands songs. David’s wife, Marianne still wanted
her to record some songs with her after she had had her baby.
She might do it after all.
<br>

After the concert and the party she that followed it she
had gone to New England and stayed with Ashley Wolfenstein
for a week. That had been nice with the long horse-rides
through the forests or boating on the lakes during the day
and Barbeques in the evenings. Then going to the dance in
the local village hall on the Friday night. They could have
caught the train to New York and gone to any number of clubs
and bars but it had been up to her Ashley had said and so she
choose the local event.
<br>

Josh had been nice. Acted like the perfect gentleman. She’d
enjoyed that night more than she could remember.
<br>

“What are you thinking about?” Nadine broke into her thoughts.
<br>

“Just somebody I met in America.”
<br>

“What was he like?” Nadine asked.
<br>

“He was really nice.”
<br>

“When are you seeing him again?”
<br>

Acted like the perfect gentleman Josh had. Until her last
night. She had let him kiss her in his pickup. She hadn’t
really minded when he had felt one of her breasts through
her shirt and bra. She had felt the stirrings beginning
inside her. Felt the moisture gathering between her legs.
Legs he had tried to force apart with his hand.
<br>

“I don’t think I will be.” Natasha replied.
<br>

No. She thought. She’d jumped like a virgin. Cried out loud
and slapped his hand away.
<br>

They hadn’t spoken a word on the drive home but she could
sense his anger and frustration. Then when he’d turned
towards her when he pulled up outside the front door of the
Wolfenstein ranch she’d leapt from the vehicle before
he could say a word.
<br>

No. She didn’t think she’d see Josh again.
<br>

“So what are you going to do now?” Nadine asked realising
she wasn’t going to get anything more from Natasha about
her love life.
<br>

“I’m helping out at the local school where my mother is head-teacher.
Giving music lessons and organising the Christmas concert.”
<br>

“You’re not going to do that for the rest of your life.”
<br>

“I don’t know.” Natasha contradicted her. “It has been
a lot of fun.”
She had been dubious at first but eventually gave in to her
Mother. And it was a lot of fun. She was seriously considering
going to teacher training college and taking a certificate
in education. She might sound out her mother’s friend Shirley.
She was a deputy chief education officer for the region.
She would know all about it. She couldn’t ask her mother.
Not until she had made up her mind.
<br>

“What about your career as a musician?”
<br>

A waiter stopped at their table and placed a folded bill
on a silver dish next to Natasha. Natasha took her Debit
card from her purse and placed it on top of it.
<br>

“Hardly a career.” Natasha pursed her lips. “The glamorous
quartet thing had been done before. That didn’t last long.”
<br>

“I meant with David’s band.”
<br>

“I don’t think I’m cut out for that life.”
<br>

Drugs, drink and casual sex. No. That life wasn’t for her.
She didn’t think it was really for David either. The group
had done well. They had made a lot of money but there had been
tensions between David and the others at the end of their
last tour. He was married now and Marianne was expecting
their baby. He told her he was thinking of concentrating
on writing and producing. The house he was having built
outside Bath was going to be fitted with its own recording
studio. If anybody were to ask her she would have to say she
didn’t think the band would tour again.
<br>

She looked across the table at Nadine.
<br>

“I’m sorry. I’m not feeling that talkative today.” She
said.
<br>

“Yes. What you need is a good shag.”
<br>

Chapter 2.
<br>

They collected their coats from the cloakroom in the foyer
of the hotel and walked out into the grey November afternoon.
It had been raining and Natasha skipped over a small puddle.
<br>

“Well I have to go back to work.” Nadine said leaning forward
and kissing Natasha on the cheek. “Don’t forget tomorrow
evening. We are all meeting in the pub at eight.”
<br>

“I don’t know.” Natasha hesitated, not wanting to refuse
the invitation to a night out outright. “I’ll try.”
<br>

“You be there.” Nadine urged. “Now promise.”
<br>

“Alright.” Natasha gave in. “I’ll be there.”
<br>

“And catch a Taxi.” Nadine said looking at her wristwatch.
“I don’t want to hear any silliness about you not being able
to drink because you are driving. Now I must rush or I’ll
be late and Steve might make me stay behind after work. With
any luck.”
<br>

“I don’t know how you can.” Natasha was still shocked from
hearing that her friend was the lover of her father’s partner.
<br>

“Steve’s lovely. I bet you would.”
<br>

“No. It would be too much like going with my father. I’ve
known him all my life.”
<br>

“Now there’s somebody.” Nadine half smiled.
<br>

“You leave my father alone.” Natasha replied indignantly.
<br>

“Oh, he’s safe. I doubt if he’s ever looked at anyone other
than your mother. Still, he is nice. I’m off. See you tomorrow.”
<br>

“Bye.” Natasha raised her hand and watched Nadine’s back
as she disappeared beneath the archway into the main street
where her father’s firm of accountants had its offices.

“Natasha!”
<br>

Natasha turned to face the direction the voice had come
from and saw a tall, thin man walking towards her. She stared
for a few seconds then recognition dawned.
<br>

“Hello Trevor. How are you?” She asked.
<br>

Trevor stopped in front towering over her.
<br>

“I thought it was you. But I wasn’t certain. You’re looking
well.”
<br>

He spoke in a rush.
<br>

“I’m fine Trevor.” Natasha replied. “How long has it been?
It must be six years.”
<br>

“Nearer seven. I qualified as a vet.”
<br>

“I am pleased for you. That’s what you always wanted. Have
you moved back here?”
<br>

“Yes. I’m the junior in a practice in Wellington. What are
you doing? How’s that pop-star brother of yours?”
<br>

“He’s fine. Going to be a father soon.”
<br>

“I read that in the papers.” Trevor looked her up and down.
“And what about you?”
<br>

“I’m not going to have a baby.” Natasha smiled up at him.
He blushed. She could always make him do that.
<br>

“I didn’t mean that.” He looked everywhere but at her. “Do
you? Are you?”
<br>

“No.” Nat shook her head slowly. “I’m between boyfriends,
if that was what you meant?”
<br>

Trevor hesitated over what he was about to say next. Nat
waited. Then waited some more.
<br>

“I’m sorry Trevor.” She broke the silence. “I have to go.
I’m working at my mother’s school. You must come around
one evening. David would love to see you. We’re all staying
at our parents.”
<br>

I still live with them. She almost added. Twenty-three
and still living at home.
<br>

“Do you want to go out for a drink one night?”
<br>

He’d finally asked.
<br>

“Sure. We’ll make up a party with David and Marianne. Nobody
bothers David in the village pub. Len kicks out anybody
who tries.”
<br>

“That would be good.”
<br>

“See you soon. I’m glad you qualified. Bye.”
<br>

Nat turn away and walked to where her mother’s people carrier
was parked. She opened the door and climbed in, looking
back towards where Trevor still stood. He always had been
a little wet. Not musical at all. Then there had always been
the smell of the farmyard about him. He was thin. But then
he had always been thin ever since she could remember him.
A qualified vet and he was sort of handsome.
<br>

She smiled at him as she pulled away and waved. He raised
a hand slowly in return.
<br>

Nadine was right. She could do with good shag.
<br>

<br>

<br>

Chapter 3.
<br>

<br>

There was the sound of somebody playing the piano in the
music room as Nat opened the front door to her parent’s house
with her key. David’s Saab was parked nearest to the front
door with a MG sports car parked next to it. She recognised
it as belonging to ‘H', Artworks manager. She wondered
what he wanted.
<br>

The rehearsal had gone well in school. Her mother was working
on for a while and her father seldom got home before six.
She was going to have a long soak in her bath.
That was a nice tune. Slow. But all David’s compositions
started out like that. It all changed when ‘H’ and the other
band members got their hands on them. Marianne was starting
to sing.
<br>

She had to see them. Just tell them she was home.
<br>

She opened the door at the end of the corridor and entered
the music room which covered the whole ground floor of one
of the new wings to the house her parents had had built before
she had been born. Marianne was standing beside the piano
where she could see and be seen by David who was playing.
‘H’ was holding what looked like a glass of whisky.
<br>

They all looked towards her as she entered and the music
and singing stopped.
<br>

“Has Nat played it yet?” ‘H’ asked.
<br>

“Not yet.” David said, picking at some notes. “It isn’t
really finished yet. Hi Nat.”
<br>

“Hello.” Nat replied. “Played what? How are you feeling
Mari?”
<br>

”I’m fine.” Marianne replied rubbing her pronounced bump
with one hand. “David’s been writing some songs. For when
we record together.”
<br>

“I’m still not sure about that.” Nat said.
<br>

“Come on.” Mari urged. “It will be fun.”
<br>

“A female duo.” ‘H’ said. “There isn’t one out there at the
moment.”
<br>

“I don’t think so.” Nat said walking to where David sat at
the piano stool and looking over his shoulder at the sheet
music in front of him.
<br>

David picked out the first chords then slide along the seat
to make room for his sister. He knew she couldn’t resist
the chance to play. Her hands moved to where David’s had
been and copied his movements of a few seconds before. David
took over when she had finished then removed his hands to
let her play in turn.
<br>

“Nice.” Nat said when they reached the end.
<br>

“It’s chorus, verse, verse, chorus, verse, verse, chorus,
chorus, end.” David explained then stood up.
<br>

Nat settled herself down in the middle of the piano stool
and began to play. David knew he was a good player but his
sister was exceptional. She played the chorus then a verse
and stopped. Then she started again from the beginning.
It was the same tune but yet it was somehow different. Only
subtle changes but it sounded different.
<br>

“Start again.” Mari urged.
<br>

Nat played the notes of the chorus the Mari started to sing.
At first they were not together. Nat stopped.
<br>

“Again.” She said and began to play the chorus.
<br>

There was a slight change of pace to her playing and her eyes
were on Mari’s face as she sung. It was flowing. Mari’s voice
was clean and clear and powerful. Nat improvised a little
at the end then stopped playing.
<br>

“That was great.” ‘H’ said a huge smile on his face. “We need
to get into a studio.”
<br>

“Next year.” David said. “After the baby is born.”
<br>

“It is too late for Christmas.” ‘H’ nodded his head. “This
gives me some time to get things organised.”
<br>

“Okay ‘H’.” David took his glass from his hand. “Aren’t
you supposed to be in London tonight?”
<br>

“Shit. Yes.” ‘H’ looked from Nat to Mari and back again.
“You really have something. This is going to be great.”
<br>

“I’ll see you out.” David said taking one of his arms in his
hand.
<br>

“Well?” Mari asked as the door closed behind the men.
<br>

“Well what?” Nat replied.
<br>

“Do you want to play with me?”
<br>

“I love to play.” Nat replied. “I just don’t want what goes
with it.”
<br>

“I watched you on the gigs you did with Artwork. You looked
to be enjoying it. You looked as turned on by it all as the
rest of us get.”
<br>

Nat could feel her face colouring. It had been fun and yes,
she had been turned on by it all. Alone in her bed afterwards
she’d masturbated furiously. David had ensured there
had been a security guard posted outside her door to keep
unwanted visitors away but it hadn’t kept away the noises
from the parties taking place all around her and, later
the groans and moans of couples having sex.
<br>

She could feel herself becoming moist just at the thought
of it.
<br>

“It wouldn’t be like it was with Artwork.” Mari said. “Just
the two of us. With David.”
<br>

Of course it would be different. Not like being part of a
male band at all.
<br>

“What will it entail?” Nat asked.
<br>

She was torn.
<br>

“First we record the album.” Mari was suddenly quite business
like. Then Nat remembered that she had been in the music
business before David and Artwork had started out. She
must have been involved in numerous negotiations with
her managers and producers.
<br>

“’H’ will put it out with a splash of publicity. Arrange
a few TV shows for us to do. We will have to be prepared to go
on talk shows and be interviewed. The biggest danger is
the record company wanting to exploit us. I think we can
avoid that. David was talking about starting up his own
label.”
<br>

“Everybody seems to have thought this all through.” Nat
played a scale then reversed it.
<br>

“It will mean a lot of rehearsals before we start recording.”
<br>

“Well he’s gone.” David said as he entered the room. “What
are you talking about?”
<br>

“I was explaining to Nat about what ‘H’ has in mind.”
<br>

“It’ll be fun.” David assured her.
<br>

“It sounds like it might take up a lot of time.” Nat said worriedly.
<br>

“In the beginning.” David smiled and played a few notes
on the keys at the end of the piano. “You don’t have to tour
if you don’t want to. Just record. ‘H’ was right though.
You are good together.”
<br>

“Oh.” Nat broke in. “Do you know who I met downtown?”
<br>

“Who?” David asked.
<br>

“Trevor Watkins.”
<br>

“Trevor!” David exclaimed. “What was he doing there?”
<br>

“Apparently he’s qualified as a Vet and is working in Wellington.”
Nat replied.
<br>

“Well what do you know?” David rubbed his chin.
<br>

“I said he should pop around one evening.”
<br>

“Who’s Trevor?” Mari asked.
<br>

“An old school friend of mine.” David explained. “What
did he look like?”
<br>

“Thin.” Nat replied. “Tall and thin. But then he always
was.”
<br>

“Yes.” David agreed. “Did he still smell of cow shit?”
<br>

“No.” Nat replied indignantly. “He didn’t smell at all.”
<br>

“He was always hanging around farmyards.” David said to
Mari. “He was made to sit by an open window at school.”
<br>

“He wasn’t.” Nat exclaimed.
<br>

“He was.” David nodded. “You can ask him if you like.”
<br>

Nat played the chorus of the song, then again in a different
key.
<br>

“Don’t change it too much or I’ll have to put you on the credits
which would mean splitting the royalties.” David said.
<br>

“Heaven forbid that should happen.” Nat replied. “You
have other songs?”
<br>

“There are four more or less complete.” David walked to
the long sideboard carrying H’s glass. “They are in the
stool. Anybody else like a drink?”
<br>

“Tea please.” Mari replied.
<br>

“Oh yes please.” Nat agreed.
<br>

“I didn’t mean tea.” David picked up the whisky decanter.
<br>

“It’s too early in the day for that.” Mari said, shaking
her head. “Isn’t it Nat?”
<br>

Nat lifted her head from the open piano stool.
<br>

“Isn’t it? Oh yes, far too early.” She placed a pile of sheet
music on top of the piano.
<br>

“They are the ones on top.” David. Pointed out.
<br>

“I haven’t seen these in years.” Nat separated the pile
and placed one of the sheets on the stand.
<br>

Mari looked over her shoulder.
<br>

“That’s an old Mary Carver song. I used to sing that before
I joined Foxart.”
<br>

“My father wrote it.”
<br>

“He wrote it!” Mari picked up a second music sheet as Nat
played the opening bars. “And this one?”
<br>

“He wrote five or six if I remember right.” Nat said concentrating
on her playing for a few seconds before stopping. “He played
on one of her records. London Quest.”
“I’ve heard it.” Mari confirmed. “She had a great voice.”
<br>

David came and stood by Mari putting his arm around her waist.
<br>

“I’m having a thought.” He said.
<br>

“I doubt if Dad would agree.” Nat said. “Or Mum, more to the
point.”
<br>

“Why?” Mari asked.
<br>

“I don’t know.” Nat said. “Something must have happened
between them. Mum can’t bide to hear her name mentioned.
We don’t have a copy of the album in the house.”
<br>

“Intriguing.” Mari said. “Do you know anything about it?”
<br>

She looked up at David as she asked the question.
<br>

“Not much.” He replied. “It was a long time ago. Thirty years.
Before I was born.”
<br>

Just then the door opened and Paul Wagstaffe entered.
<br>

“Hello.” He said. “What are you doing? Are you all right
Marianne? Where’s your mother?
<br>

“Hello dad.” Nat said. “Had a busy day?”
<br>

“Not too bad.” Paul replied picking up a whisky glass and
the decanter. “Anybody?”
<br>

“Too early.” David said.
<br>

“You’re probably right.” Paul replaced the glass and decanter.
“I left Steve and Nadine working on some papers in his office.
Where did you say your mother is?”
<br>

“She’s still at the school.” Nadine replied. “She shouldn’t
be too long.”
<br>

Paul looked at his wristwatch.
<br>

“It looks like dinner in the pub then.” He looked again at
the whisky decanter. “I’m going to have a quick shower if
we’re going out.”
<br>

“I want a lie down.” Marianne said to David. “Just for a few
minutes.”
<br>

“Ok.” David kissed her on her cheek. “I’ll come with you.”
<br>

Suddenly Nat was alone in the room. The curtains had been
left open at the end overlooking the swimming pool and lawns.
They’d switched the lights on the small footbridge over
the stream on. She stood up and walked to the French windows
and looked out.
<br>

She loved that house. She’d lived there all her life. She
looked across to the entrance to the walled garden. She’s
lost her virginity in there. Not really anything she looked
back on too fondly. She’d had too much to drink when her parents
had been away. She’d cried as he stood up afterwards and
adjusted his clothing before her as she lay on her back on
the grass. It had been a totally meaningless act for its
own sake.
<br>

She went back to the piano and sat down. She looked at the
sheet music in front of her at her father’s neat handwriting.
She picked out the opening notes. Mary Carver. She had been
a big recording star in the seventies and eighties. This
had been one of her greatest hits but strangely very few
others had covered it.
<br>

She started again, this time in earnest. It was such a lovely
tune to play she couldn’t think why her mother didn’t like
to hear it. She started again, playing with the foot peddles
to sharpen and lengthen the notes.
<br>

A sudden noise behind her made her stop and turn. Her mother
was standing in the doorway.
<br>

“I’ve told you I don’t like that song.” Jenny Wagstaffe
said.
<br>

“But never why.” Nat replied her fingers moving back over
the keyboard.
<br>

She didn’t normally answer her mother back. She played
the opening notes.
<br>

“Natasha.” Jenny said taking two steps forward. “Please.”
<br>

Nat’s shoulders relaxed and she stopped playing.
<br>

“I’m sorry.” She said. “It’s such a nice song. I don’t understand
why you dislike it so.”
<br>

Jenny moved to the side of the piano and stood looking down
at her daughter for a few seconds.
<br>

“It’s a long story and it happened such a long time ago.”
She said.
<br>

<br>

<br>

<br>

<br>

Chapter 4.
<br>

“Anybody fancy a whisky or something?” Paul Wagstaffe
asked placing his empty wineglass on the table in front
of him.
<br>

“I will.” David confirmed.
<br>

“Just coffee.” Jenny said.
<br>

“Same for me.” Natasha said.
<br>

“I’ll stay on the fruit juice, thanks.” Said Mari.
<br>

Paul stood up and went to the bar followed by David. Nat leaned
back in her chair and let her eyes follow them then continue
around the room. It was three parts full. Mostly with visitors
from outside the village. She could recognise a few locals.
She saw three young girls in their late teens sitting at
a table nearer the entrance giggling into their hands.
She could imagine them urging each other on to approach
David for his autograph.
<br>

They had better not try. She thought. Len, the landlord
and one of her father’s oldest friends would not allow it.
She’s seen his escort people from the bar before.
<br>

“I didn’t realise it was Paul who wrote that song for Mary
Carver.” Nat heard Mari say.
<br>

“It was a long time ago.” Jenny replied, snappily.
<br>

“It is time somebody did a better version of it.” Mari continued,
unabated. “I think Nat and I could bring something new to
it.”
<br>

Jenny looked at her. She suddenly looked tired to Nat.
<br>

David and Paul were standing at the end of the bar talking
to Len.
<br>

“I think I’ll change my mind.” Jenny said. “Natasha, go
and ask your father to get me a vodka and tonic, please.”
<br>

Natasha stood up. The three girls looked as if they had made
their minds up as well.
<br>

Nat walked across to their table.
<br>

“Hello.” She said. “Len doesn’t like to see David bothered
when he’s in here. I’ll get you his autograph if you like.”
<br>

“Could you? How? Do you know him?” They all spoke at once.
<br>

“Quite well.” Nat smiled down at them. “I’m his sister.”
<br>

“You’re the one who.” One of the girls started to speak then
stooped in mid-sentence.
<br>

Lay on my back with my legs open for all the internet to see.
Nat felt she could have finished the sentence for her.
<br>

“You were in the band for a while.” The girl continued.
<br>

Damn. Nat cursed herself. Not everybody in the world had
seen her naked.
<br>

“Yes I was.” She confirmed, suddenly angry with herself.
<br>

Why did I bother to stop here? She asked herself.
<br>

“I’ll send him over.” Let him suffer as well.
<br>

Nat walked up to the bar.
<br>

“Mum wants a vodka and tonic.” She told Paul. “And those
three girls want you.” She said to David.
<br>

“I said you would.” She continued. “Just for a minute.”
<br>

David glanced across to where Mari and Jenny sat then shrugged
his shoulders.
<br>

“Okay.” He said. “Just for a minute.”
<br>

He carried his whisky glass as he walked from the bar counter.
Nat watched him lift a hand to the looks he received from
some of the other diners then he took a chair from an empty
table and sat down with the three girls.
<br>

He’d made their nights Nat thought. The image of the three
girls furiously rubbing their clits as they lay in their
beds later flashed through her brain. Yes. He would be making
their nights.
<br>

“Do you want to take this back, Natasha?” Her father asked
as a small tray containing the coffees and drinks that had
been ordered was placed on the counter. “I’ll be back in
a minute.”
<br>

Natasha took the tray and walked back to their table. David
was still sitting with the three girls.
<br>

“What’s he doing?” Mari asked as she placed the tray on the
table and sat down.
<br>

“I asked him too.” Nat confessed. “Len would probably have
kicked them out if they had approached David. It’ll make
their day.”
<br>

“That was nice of you.” Jenny said, sipping at her drink.
<br>

Nat stirred some cream into her coffee and took a sip. She
blew on the cup then sipped again. She felt a sudden fullness
inside.
<br>

“I need the loo.” She said, picking up her handbag. “Anybody
else coming?”
<br>

The others declined so she made her way to the door with the
woman in a skirt on and entered. It was empty. Choosing a
cubical she went inside. Lifting the hem of her dress she
pushed her tights and panties down to her knees and sat down.
She closed her eyes as her bladder emptied then reached
out a hand and tore off some toilet role. She reached down
between her thighs and rubbed along her slit. A second piece
of paper and she was ready to stand.
<br>

The sound of the door opening and the voices of the three
girls made her pause.
<br>

“He was great.” She heard one say as the cubical door beside
her opened and closed and she heard the rustling of clothing.
<br>

“He could have me anytime.” Another said.
<br>

“Oh yes.” The third joined in. “And me.”
<br>

“Four in a bed.” The first one spoke over the hissing sound
coming from her cubical.
<br>

“It probably wouldn’t be his first time.” The second said.
<br>

“What about the sister?” The third one asked. “Do you remember
those pictures?”
<br>

The next-door toilet flushed. Then a second further along.

<br>

“Hurry up.” The third girl urged her friends. “I need this.”
<br>

“Are we going into town?” The first girl asked as she ran
some water into a sink. “The soldiers are back from Iraq.
They’ll be full of it.”
<br>

“I’m not going back to the barracks, ” the third one said.
“I had enough of being gang banged last time.”
<br>

“You enjoyed it.” The second said. “Besides with Tim away
it’s the only cock you’ll get tonight.”
<br>

The toilet flushed away and there was the sound of water
running again. The sound of the hand dryers blotted out
the next few sentences.
<br>

“You didn’t have one try and get it up your ass.”
<br>

The door opened and Nat was alone again. She pulled up her
panties and then her tights and adjusted her dress before
flushing the toilet and washing her hands in a sink.
She looked at her face in the mirror for a few seconds. It
was a pretty face. Not beautiful. She had her mother’s thin
nose. Her breasts were bigger than her mother’s and her
hips were a little wider. Her mother’s hair was starting
to grey whereas hers was long and flowing.
<br>

She dried her hands and rejoined the others at their table.
They were all on their feet.
<br>

“We were about to send out a search party for you.” Mari said
as David helped her into her coat.
<br>

“Are you alright?” Her father asked, holding out her coat
for her.
<br>

“I’m fine.” She replied.
<br>

<br>

<br>

<br>

<br>

<br>

Chapter 5.
<br>

It was warm in her bed. Soft and warm and comfortable. It
was dark but she still felt safe.
<br>

She turned onto her back and placed her hand upon her stomach.
It had been a nice meal. A pity about the three girls. Nat
wondered whether they had been picked up by some of the soldiers
and taken back to the barracks. She wondered if they had
been gang-banged. Then wondered what it would be like.
<br>

Her hand moved lower. She could feel her mound of pubic hairs
beneath her nightdress. Soft and springy. Would she shave
it all off if she was with a man who wanted her too?
<br>

Nadine was shaven. She had told her so. As if it were some
badge to boast about. And she had seen Frankie and Laurie
naked when she had been in the States and they were shaved.
Ashley had told her that was what the men wanted nowadays.
In fact the only woman she knew of who still had hair, albeit
trimmed, was Cleo, her father’s illegitimate daughter.
<br>

She pulled up the hem of her nightdress and ran her fingers
through her hairs. She liked the feel of them herself. No,
she could never shave down there.
<br>

Her legs opened slightly as her fingers followed her hairs
between them.
<br>

He would have to be some man to get her to shave down there.
None of the men in her life so far would have got her too. Not
that there had been many. Two.
<br>

Phil had been a part of her life for two years. Never deeply
passionate. In the end it had become a chore. A chore she
could do without in her final year at music college.
<br>

She smiled as her fingertips massaged her lips. She could
feel them opening.
<br>

How worried they had been for that two weeks after they had
first done it. “What if she was pregnant?”
<br>

A lucky escape.
<br>

They had studied fertility charts and then she had gone
onto the pill. A pill she still took. Most days.
<br>

Her buttocks clenched as she moved on the bed.
<br>

Would the soldiers have got it up that girl’s ass this time
around? Phil had never seemed interested in that part of
her and she certainly didn’t point it out to him.
<br>

Sometimes as she lay on her side she would rub it. It was nice.
Sometimes. But she would never let anybody put anything
inside it. Exit only. Perhaps she should have that tattooed
on it. While she was at it she could have ‘no entry’ tattooed
on her other hole.
She pulled at her pussy lips and ran a fingertip between
them. She heard herself sigh.
<br>

Yes. Nothing was ever going up there.
<br>

Her fingertips brushed her clit. Her hips lifted. She touched
it again. The muscles in her thighs twitched. How would
they get it inside the girl? On her side? Kneeling down?
Would she scream as it went in?
<br>

She took a deep breath as her fingers moved faster.
<br>

How many men would be there? Three, four, five?
<br>

“Ah.”
<br>

She heard herself gasp.
<br>

Her breaths were coming in short pants. Breathing through
her mouth.
<br>

What if she had let Josh? In his pick-up? She would have had
to take her jeans off completely. The seats would not recline
so she would have had to straddle him. Lower herself upon
it. Feel it inside her. Feel him moving beneath her. Moving.
Moving. Coming. Coming.
<br>

She did need a shag.

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