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Oh Yuko... Oh Satomi ... Where art thou, flowers of my universe



The sun sparkled between the outstretched branches overhead.
Another hot and humid day was breaking, the light gradually
penetrating through to the mossy floor of the forest where
I picked my way over uneven terrain, clambering up the steep
hillside that rose behind the house.

I had awakened early with the first light to find Yuko had
gone. The memory of her was already fading, receding as
the mists over the pond recoiled from the rising sun, and
my thoughts turned more towards Satomi; the nagging question
of whether or not she had been watching me the night before
gnawed me pushing aside more pleasant memories of Yuko.
I climbed through the forest almost blindly, groping my
way where there was no path, hoping that I might find some
sign that would prove whether or not she had also passed
this way.

The events of the past five days had left me groping for answers
to many of the things I had witnessed. I felt confused; I
didn't understand anything that was going on around
me. The people: Mr Ogawa, Megumi, Satomi, what were their
I felt surrounded, captured, imprisoned in a world made
more of fantasy than reality: surreal. I couldn't
even come close to understanding the people around me.
Every time I came near to grasping at an explanation it vanished,
replaced by another paradox. Picking through the trees
I had no clear idea of what I might accomplish by what I was
doing but I felt driven on by the need to reach out, to find
some physical sign, something that might have a reality
outside this place, anything that might help me get a grasp
on what was happening to me.

When I had climbed through the dense forest for some time
the ground leveled off and I found myself looking down on
the guest house just as I had two nights ago with Satomi,
only this time I was on the other side of the building: my
own window lay below. I gently eased down the slope. The
way was not as easy on this side. If she had come at all Satomi
must have had a difficult time making her way down in the
dark. I studied the mossy ground as I walked, looking for
some sign that another person had come this way. The plants
looked undisturbed, and I realised that the springy ground
showed no trace of my own passage: surely the smaller Satomi
would have left no foot prints either. I stopped for a moment,
despairing of finding any evidence of her passage. After
looking about me in all directions I continued on glumly,
without much hope, simply because I had planned to go all
the way to my window and I lacked the motivation to think
of an alternative.

When I reached my window and looked inside a shiver went
through me: how clearly I could see down into the room. The
futon where I had lain with Yuko seemed so near. It sat in
the centre of the small room as if it were the centre-piece
on a stage...I thought back over my actions of the night
before, embarrassed by the way I had lost control of myself.
Why had I acted that way, I wondered?
What had come over me?

I looked around again, finding no sign of Satomi's
presence here the night before. I breathed a sigh of relief
at the thought that she probably had not been spying on me
after all and that she hadn't seen my foolish display.

Just at that moment I saw it: tied around the base of a small
tree a black silk piece of cloth hanging limply. I recognised
it immediately as the belt from Satomi's robe. I had
seen her undo it twice in the last two days; there was no mistaking

I felt extremely self conscious and I looked quickly over
my shoulder as if I might find her still there, still watching
me, but there was nobody in sight. I untied the belt and held
it in my hand. Afraid to move I stood still for a few moments
thinking. I felt guilty but I knew that eventually I would
have to come down from the hill, out of the forest to face
Satomi, Megumi and Mr Ogawa and I felt shame at the way I had
acted the night before. What was worse was that they all
knew, all three of them, I was sure of it. What did they each
think about it, I wondered?
Satomi had been right: I had let her father manipulate me
into an uncomfortable position. His power over me had increased.
I was indebted to him. At the same time I had lowered myself
in the eyes of Megumi, and even though he might not realise
it, also his daughter.

I nervously coiled and uncoiled the silk belt around my
hands as I made my way back, anxiously pondering how I would
get through the day. I planned to slip back into my room before
anyone else woke up, perhaps get a little more sleep and
then think about how I would face each of the people I would
surely encounter. I desperately needed some time to be
alone, to think. Emerging from the trees and stepping out
onto the garden path I ran headlong into Megumi.

"You are up early today Mr Sato, " she said,
wiping perspiration from her forehead with the back of
her hand.

"Going for a walk?"

She gave me a quizzical look, eyebrows raised. My sudden
emergence from the underbrush had surprised her somewhat,
yet she maintained her usual poise and self assured demeanour.
I guessed she had just come back from a morning run from her
out fit: tight fitting black shorts with a matching halter
top that left her midriff bare. As I glanced quickly over
her sweat-soaked body I realised that I was seeing her for
the first time in something other than traditional dress,
except of course when I had seen her with nothing on at all.

"It's too hot to sleep, " I answered quickly.

"I thought I would get some air."

Her tight fitting clothes framed her body perfectly, leaving
little to the imagination. I felt embarrassed standing
in front of her while she gazed at me calmly: I didn't
know where to look. My eyes darted over her breasts; the
nipples, ringed by halos of perspiration, stood out, embarrassingly
prominent. I quickly raised my eyes to her face: she was
still looking straight at me.

"What a lovely belt, " she said.

Blood rushed to my face. I had completely forgotten that
I was still holding it, twisting it nervously around my
hand. I wondered if she recognised it as Satomi's.
Perhaps she assumed Yuko had left it. I quickly stuffed
it into my pocket, a gesture that made me feel all the more
guilty. I silently cursed myself for not having put it out
of sight before.

There was an awkward silence. I had just put the belt away:
it would be stupid to refer to it now I thought; but to say
I had to acknowledge her remark but I couldn't think
of a thing to say. My indecision froze me, speechless.

Then Megumi laughed.

"Enjoy the rest of your walk Mr Sato, but don't
get too tired. We have a lot of work to do today. It's

She fanned the air in front of her face and set off down the
path, giving me a light pat on the shoulder as she passed.

Later that morning Megumi brought me a large stack of papers,
the final set of revisions and instructions from Mr Ogawa.
On top of the pile lay a small envelope with my name written
on it. My curiosity aroused, I picked it up and turned it
over in my hands. Megumi, sensing that I wished to open the
envelope, withdrew discreetly and stood looking out the
large window into the garden.

Inside I discovered another white card, perhaps the very
same one Mr Ogawa had given me the day before. Embarrassed,
I glanced quickly in the direction of Megumi while I slipped
the card into my pocket. She hadn't seemed to notice.
I cleared my throat and noisily began straightening the
papers on my desk to let her know that she could approach,
but instead of turning from the window she stood for a long
moment and continued to look outside.

After what seemed like an interminable wait she turned
and without catching my eye left the room in silence

Megumi's sudden exit troubled me and I sat for a long
time pondering what it might mean. She must have known all
along that the envelope contained the white card, I reasoned;
but then why get upset about it?
Maybe it had something to do with Satomi, her belt in my hands
that morning?
I mulled over the possibilities, wasting a lot of time,
before finally diving into my work.

Looking at the latest instruction from Mr Ogawa filled
me with dismay: the changes he demanded amounted to an almost
complete reworking of everything I had done so far. Many
of his instructions directly contradicted things he had
asked for previously, and I would have to accomplish it
all in the final two days. I wondered if I would even have
time to get to bed that night for a few hours of sleep; the
pleasures of the white card seemed impossibly unfeasible
at that moment. Perhaps this was Mr Ogawa's idea of
a joke I thought bitterly.

Whatever his intent, the effect was to make me angry. I tore
into the stack of papers and tackled the task before me with
a kind of reckless, passionate energy, spurred onward
by my anger. The first time I paused to lift my eyes for a moment's
rest I realised that three hours had gone by. The morning
sun had climbed high overhead and was beating down on the
garden outside my window. This was the hottest, most humid
day so far. I took little notice however and dove back into
my work without even getting up for my customary stretch.

Again I lost myself in my work, completely forgetting Megumi,
Mr Ogawa and Satomi. The strange mental state that had come
over me remained and I found that I was making better progress
than I had expected. I hit upon some new insights that had
previously eluded me. My breakthroughs greatly speeded
my progress and I gained confidence as I could see the end
of the job come closer.

I am not sure how many more hours I worked without stopping
or even looking up when a faint knock at the door interrupted
me. Before I could react, it opened and Satomi entered,
followed immediately by her father.

"Mr Ogawa, " I said as I rose from my seat.

My back ached as I stood up. I realised that I had sat hunched
over the desk since morning without moving.

"Please, " he answered, raising his hand.

"I am sorry to bother you but Mrs Ogawa and I will be
spending the night in the village. I wanted to see how you
were doing before we left. I know I posed a great many new
questions for you at the last minute. I only wanted to speak
to you and make certain that you had a grasp on it before your
final day here."

My new insights excited me, and I was eager to show him how
I had mastered the task. I knew I had probably done better
with it than he could have hoped for.

"Things are very well in order, " I said, barely
taming the enthusiasm in my voice.

"Here, look."

I handed him some of the pertinent pages and took great satisfaction
at seeing his eyebrows lift in surprise as he scanned them.

"This is very good, excellent in fact. You seem to
have found some real inspiration, " he said with

"This interests me greatly. Would you mind organizing
what you have done so far and delivering it to me before I
leave tonight? I will send Megumi by to help you. I definitely
would like to see this tonight."

"It would be no problem, " I answered.

For the first time I felt that I had lived up to or exceeded
his expectations of me, made him proud. I couldn't
understand why pleasing him was so important to me but the
fact that he praised me made me feel a great wave of contentment.

Satomi edged closer to her father and said something to
him in a low voice.

"I am sorry, " he said, laughing.

"I forgot why I came here in the first place. I understand
you haven't eaten yet today. You have obviously been
working very hard. I have arranged for my daughter to bring
you something here at your desk; she is not coming with my
wife and I to the village tonight so she can remain for a while
to serve you."

"Thank you Mr Ogawa, but that won't be necessary, "
I began to protest.

The thought of being alone with Satomi made me uncomfortable;
I wanted to put off having to face her now that I new she had
seen me with Yuko last night.

He stopped me: "Please Mr Sato, I insist. It is no trouble
at all."

Turning to Satomi he uttered a few words in Japanese very
quickly under his breath and she glided out of the room.

"She will be back in a few minutes, " he said,
"and soon after that Megumi will come by to help you
organize the papers and bring them to me. Of course, after
that, you still have the white card."

Bowing slightly, he turned and left the room.

I had a very uncomfortable lunch. Satomi chose to give me
the silent treatment when she returned carrying a tray
of food. A few times I tried to start up a conversation with
her, about anything-the weather, the food, where her parents
were going-but each time she met my words with silence.
Her eyes seemed to bore through me as I ate as quickly as I
could under the uncomfortable glare of her disapproval.

I thought to mention last night, the white card, Yuko, or
the fact that I had climbed the hill and found her belt tied
there but I lost my nerve and remained silent. I tried to
fathom her thoughts. What was that look on her face?
Each time our eyes met however it was I who looked away first,
guiltily; tried convicted and sentenced to endure a flaying
by those wide innocent eyes, slicing through me layer by
layer, all the way to my soul.

When I finished, Satomi gathered up the dishes and removed
the tray. After the door closed behind her I took a deep breath
and wiped the sweat from my forehead.

Megumi arrived a short time later to help me organize my
work to deliver to Mr Ogawa. We had a difficult time deciding
exactly what were the most pertinent points to show him.
Everything I suggested seemed wrong to her and she let me
know about it, coldly. Our arguing wasted time and I grew
resentful: I could be working at finishing this right now,
I thought. Instead I was arguing with Megumi over what to
include in a summary that Mr Ogawa would probably skim over
for a few minutes before throwing down on his bedside table
that night.

In the midst of a fairly heated exchange, I felt her hand
come to rest lightly on my shoulder, too lightly for the
angry tone of our words. She was standing behind my chair
as she had been for some time, reaching over me to jab her
finger at the computer screen or grab a loose sheet of paper
to wave angrily before my eyes. Only now she grew quiet,
her hand just softly touching my shoulder, not pressing
down on me but simply coming to rest there as if it was the
most natural thing for her to do.

Her soft touch and the sudden stillness in the room sent
a sweet kind of jolt through me; something between a shiver
and a silky cascade of muscles relaxing, yielding to her
nourishing touch. I had felt so alone, accused, abandoned.
Now the slightest hint of a compassionate gesture from
another human being made me melt.

"Wait a minute, Mr Sato, " she said, her voice
suddenly much more quiet; the edge had gone out of it and
the deep rich silky tones I had admired on first meeting
her returned.

"Lets take a short break. This is upsetting to me."

I turned, her hand still on my shoulder. I half expected
to see her eyes filled with tears; that is how her voice sounded.
Instead she surprised me: Smiling down at me, her eyes beamed
with an open, innocently playful look, the look that betrayed
her mischievous side.

"Do you want to step outside?" I asked.

No, she nodded and walked over to the couch facing the window.
She sat down and gave the arm of the chair next to her a light

"Why don't we just sit here for a while instead, "
she said.

Her manner was so inviting. Over the last few days I had begun
to feel surrounded by disapproval. Mr Ogawa, Satomi and
Megumi had all displayed some sort of dissatisfaction
with me in one way or another. Maybe now the ice was breaking,
I thought. My latest work had pleased Mr Ogawa and Megumi
seemed to be acting more friendly at the moment. Satomi
had given me the cold shoulder but there was nothing I could
do to make her forgive me I decided. With Megumi warming
to me it did not seem to matter that much anyway.

I sat down and let myself sink back into the chair. I had been
working hard and only when I stopped could I feel how truly
worn out I was. I sighed as I let the soft chair cradle me,
my head falling backwards. Suddenly I was too weary to try
to keep up any semblance of decorum in front of her. Feeling
safe and secure I closed my eyes and before long a had fallen

I don't know how long I slept; maybe only half an hour,
but the sound of Megumi shuffling papers around on the desk
awakened me.

"I am sorry to wake you, " she said, noticing

"It is time to gather all of this together and deliver
it to Mr Ogawa."

"But, we never finished..."

I started to say. The last thing I remember was that we had
argued over some point or other, not resolving anything.

"Don't worry about it."

She cut me off.

"I am just gathering it all together for Mr Ogawa.
He can sort it out himself."

Something in her tone took my by surprise; perhaps a subtle
hint of defiance?
I couldn't exactly place it, but her attitude had changed,
very slightly, but enough for me to notice. Before, she
had always been so serious when it came to work, to Mr Ogawa
and his wishes. Her tone of voice now suggested that she
held something in disdain: was it Mr Ogawa, his seemingly
endless and random series of changes and revisions, or
was t it something to do with the project I did not know about?

I couldn't tell what it was but I got the feeling that
somehow we were allies now. Mixed in her tone of voice was
a bit of sympathy, I decided.

I rose and stood next to her while she ordered the papers.
I could smell the scent of her body, the faint hint of sandalwood
or some other fragrance just out of range of my conscious
perception. A few wisps of hair trailed across her cheek,
so black against the whiteness of her skin. They swayed
gently as she leaned to and fro reaching for things on the
desk. I wanted her then. Nothing in the world seemed more
desirable at that moment. Clenching my hands tightly was
the only way I could keep myself from reaching out and touching
her. Everything in my conscious mind wanted to do it, to
reach out to her, yet something held me back; the same restraint
that had always plagued me, and would forever plague me,
come between my desires and their fulfillment.

I struggled with myself in those few moments while she continued
to work as if unaware of me standing beside her. I couldn't
break through whatever it was holding me back. Was it fear
of her disapproval?
The possibility that I had misjudged the situation somehow?

The moment stretched on, frozen; I couldn't break
the stasis. This is my life I thought bitterly. Desire began
slowly to transform into despair, that ever familiar cycle.

Megumi finished organizing the papers for Mr Ogawa. In
desperation, without really thinking what I was doing
I drew the white card out of my pocket and lay it on top of the
folder. If I couldn't reach out to her directly, at
least I could make some small gesture, show her what I was

"Return this to Mr Ogawa also, " I said.

Blood rushed to my face and I turned and looked out the window,
towards the garden.

After a long silence Megumi spoke: "Mr Sato."

Her voice was almost a whisper.

"This is not...because of it?"

I turned to look at her. For the first time she seemed to have
lost her poise, her distant serenity. She was blushing,
looking down at the folder with the white card on top as if
she could not bring herself to touch it.

Her embarrassment flustered me. I remained silent.

"Please, " she said.

"Mr Sato, don't...not because of me. Please..."

Her eyes grew large, glistening with tears. She gently
tilted the folder, causing the white card to slide down
onto the desk top.

The delicate motion, her soft words and her tears had crushed
me more effectively than the cruelest hammer blow. I knew
she hadn't meant it that way; she had been as gentle
as she could. Picking up the folder she brought it to her
side, readying herself to leave.

Still caught up in the powerful force of my feelings, unable
to say anything, I picked up the card and tore it in three
pieces that fluttered to the floor where I dropped them.

Turning swiftly away, Megumi left the room.

After dinner that evening I grew restless; sitting at my
desk I tried to read but couldn't concentrate. I got
up and paced my room for a few minutes before it dawned on
me that my work here had essentially finished. Mr Ogawa
had gone for the night. He could look over what I had done
and make a few minor revisions still, but to insure that
I completed and wrapped everything by the end of tomorrow
he couldn't be too extravagant in his requests for
changes this time; not if he wanted a nicely finished product.

The realisation made me even more agitated. I felt I was
just killing time here. I couldn't get anything done
tonight and there just wasn't much to do around here
other than work. For me the peace and serenity of the place
had completely vanished. Instead of feeling relaxed and
rejuvenated by the atmosphere I felt nervous, trapped.
Megumi: why had she been crying at our last conversation?

Was it the white card, or the fact that I refused it?
Feeling hemmed in and bored, with nothing to do, I was beginning
to regret making that noble gesture. What was I trying to
prove anyway?
And to whom?
Mr Ogawa didn't even know of my refusal since the pieces
of the torn card still lay in the waste basket in the library.

Another thought occurred to me: he didn't know, couldn't
know that I had refused the white card. In that case he must
have arranged for Yuko to be here again tonight. She didn't
stay here. I had never seen her around the grounds or in the
house which meant that she had to come in from the outside,
an arrangement Mr Ogawa would have had to make. Ah, but what
if Megumi handled the details?
She seemed to know all about it, or at least she second guessed
it the last time. I couldn't be sure. This might be a
matter that Mr Ogawa would see to himself, to see to the comfort
of his guest personally.

I thought back to last night with Yuko: the sweet smell of
her body, the heaviness of her breasts and thighs pressed
against me. Alone in my room with nothing to do I kicked myself
for tearing up that card. Megumi had told me clearly that
I should stay away, as far as anything physical went, and
Satomi had stopped speaking to me. There was definitely
nothing I could do now except try to find out if Yuko was around
anywhere. I might still be able to rescue the evening I decided.
My spirits grew lighter.

It was hot even though the sun had gone down. The night would
be hot and humid again. I opened my window and felt the faintest
breeze waft across my face. The moist air moved sluggishly,
carrying with it the rich smells of the garden.

I left my room and almost immediately the absurdity of my
plan struck me. What was I to do, knock on every door and see
if Yuko answered?
I stopped and stood for a moment outside of my room in the
hallway. The other alternative was to sit here or just inside
my door waiting for her to come looking for the card; when
she didn't see it I could step out and tell her that I
would like her company tonight after all.

Standing and waiting out in the hallway seemed ridiculous
and the thought of spending another minute cooped up in
my room was unbearable. I decided to wander through the
guest house and simply see what I would see. Perhaps I would
run into Yuko, or at least find some sign of her.

I wandered the hallways of the empty guest house pausing
at each door to listen for a moment. The servants must stay
somewhere it occurred to me, but where?
In this house?
The place seemed deserted. Lights dimmed for the night
lent an eerie glow to shadowy corridors that twisted and
turned around the house. I didn't hear a sound other
than my own slippers padding on the wooden floor.

At the far end of the house at last I heard something: a faint
murmuring coming from behind one of the doors. There were
two voices; a man and a woman, alternating. A few words,
then a pause, then a few more. I couldn't make out what
they were saying. I stood still listening for a long time;
their softly buzzing voices had a hypnotic effect on me.

This hallway was the mirror image to my own I realised. I
had passed completely through the guest house to the far
side. I remembered the image of the house as I had seen it
from above. This had to be Megumi's room.

Careful not to make a sound I turned and retraced my steps
out of the house and into the garden. I am not certain when
it consciously occurred to me that I would climb the hill
behind the house and take my place outside her window. Perhaps
it never did emerge in so concrete a form, yet I found myself
moving along the same path I had walked with Satomi, climbing
the hill, then descending beneath the overhanging eaves.

The glow from the open window illuminated the ledge with
a strange bluish light, almost as if there was a television
on inside. It relieved me not to see Satomi already sitting
there: She must have gone away with her parents after all
thought with relief.

Megumi and the stranger were reclining side by side on the
futon when I looked down on them. They wore matching robes
of thin white linen tied with black belts, there hair glistened,
wet, as if they had come from a swim or the shower. The candle
light flickered over them, softening the outlines of their
bodies; the fabric of their garments flowed over them like
water and rejoined the cool whiteness of the sheets. Deep
shadows were in the folds, creeping back and forth as gentle
wafts of air made the candles dance.

Again I could here their voices murmur. Laying side by side
with their heads propped on folded arms; they looked so
serene. I feared I had come too late for they seemed as if
they were enjoying a moment of post coital bliss, the warm
afterglow of passion rather than still stoking its flames.
They murmured back and forth for a few minutes more while
I strained to hear. Whether they gradually spoke louder
or I grew accustomed to the sounds of their voices I do not
know, but I began to distinguish a few words of their conversation.
A few scraps of phrases floated out the open window to me
and on out into the still night air.

She: "...yes, yes..."

He: "Megumi, I promise..."

"...not now..."


"Not right away. Please?"

"Of know..."

"...I will try..."

" me.."

He reached for her and they kissed, a long hungry kiss, arms
and legs twining around each other, and I realised that
I was not too late after all.

Her long hair cascaded over them. Briefly I caught sight
of her ear, a flushed cheek, the edge of her lips, cresting
through her hair which, flowing, was in constant motion
about them. He gently grasped her chin with one hand while
pushing aside the strands with the other revealing her
face, pale and white, radiant in the dim light as the moon
is when it passes from behind a solitary cloud in the blackest
night sky.

He kissed her more deeply, then moved down her body to untie
her belt. I heard her breathe deeply as the knot came untied
and he exposed her body. Gently he lifted the robe off her
shoulders and held it as she slipped her arms out.

In the dim light her skin looked pale, milky white. Her nipples
stood out from her small breasts, dark circles on a white
background. The candle light flickered over the deep shadows
on her body, at her navel, between her thighs. The man didn't
pause to admire her body: he could move more than his eyes
over that smooth skin, do more than imagine the taste and
feel of those hard nipples thrust upward as if begging to
be encircled. Leaning over her he kissed her breasts, one
after the other, lingering there. I could see his tongue
making small circles around each nipple, then his lips,
closing, hid the small bud from my sight. Moving down her
body he kissed his way over her ribcage, past her navel and
into the dark patch of hair below. Then he positioned himself
between her legs, parting them with a gentle hand on each
knee, pushing them upward, apart.

She brought her hands to her face and I heard a muffled gasp
from between them; her belly heaved with slow elastic motions
as her partner pleasured her. Slowly her hands moved to
her breasts, cupping them, squeezing, pushing the hardened
nipples upward as she arched her back, turning her face
away from me.

The man released her knees and let his hands slide upward
to grasp her hips, holding her more firmly against his face.
She writhed, a captive of his embrace, struggling as if
the pleasure he gave would overwhelm her, sweep her away.
Her thighs came together on either side of his head, gripping
him. I saw her ankles cross on his back; now he became the
prisoner. Arching her entire body she pulled herself up
against him, her pelvis rising off the mat. I could see the
muscles along the outside of her thigh stretch and tighten:
the hard sinews of her body showing through that smooth
creamy skin.

Both bodies strained against each other. Megumi let out
little cries in rhythm to some subtle motions her partner
made that I could not see. She shuddered, holding on to one
long drawn out "Aahhhhh..."

Pushing his head away with her hands she closed her thighs.
Squeezing them together she made small jerky pelvic thrusts
against the mat while her partner stroked her belly and

"Oh, I'm coming..."

I heard her say amidst a series of other sounds that were
something between moans, cries and deep gasps for breath.

"Megumi, Megumi, " he was saying over and over.

His tone soothing as his hands gently stroked and calmed
her heaving body.

"You are so beautiful."

At that moment I became aware of someone quite close beside

I started physically. Almost forgetting myself I came
close to crying out. Satomi had edged her way next to me at
some point. Lost as I was in watching the lovers below I hadn't
even noticed when she arrived.

My startled reaction took her by surprise. Her head turned
swiftly towards me. Her eyes, wide and staring, fixed on
me for a long moment with a look that I couldn't fathom:
a look between surprise and anger, yet I also sensed that
beneath it all something had amused her.

We could not risk speaking and Satomi turned away from me,
returning her gaze to the open window. I stared at her profile
for a long time but she pointedly ignored me, continuing
to stare into the room.

When I looked away from Satomi I saw Megumi and the man had
switched positions. He lay on his back while she knelt beside
him. Arching her fingers, she gently racked her nails across
his chest and belly, one hand following the other, like
a cat pawing the ground in a slow sensual motion.

Then she grasped his penis with one hand and squeezed. Already
highly aroused, he swelled even more between her slender
fingers; the dark engorged head stood out almost obscenely
against her light skin. He let escape a long low groan. Megumi
relaxed her grip and stroked him gently, tugging at him,
coaxing him harder.

The sight of Megumi ministering to the man in that way affected
me powerfully. I couldn't hold back my own arousal.
I hoped that I could somehow keep Satomi from noticing.

Megumi slipped between his legs in one supple fluid motion,
so quickly, as if she had always been there. Her hair spilled
over him and he groaned more loudly when her mouth or tongue
made contact.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Satomi take a deep breath.
A moment later I felt her hand slide to her side, then creep
up onto my thigh. I quickly moved my own hand to grasp hers,
to stop her from going farther, but something in me softened.
Her skin felt cool and soft through the thin fabric of the
robe and her motion, sliding so shyly onto me, as a small
animal does when seeking warmth and shelter, made me reconsider.
I did not lift her hand away and a reckless idea occurred
to me: if she wants to play with fire I thought, let her. Relaxing
my grasp I left her hand resting lightly on my thigh and returned
my attention to the scene below.

Megumi's partner reached down and parted her hair,
lifting it back up over her shoulders, revealing her face.
Her lips were firmly gripping his penis.

"Do you mind if I watch?" he asked.

Without taking her mouth off him she shook her head: no.
Her eyes had lifted briefly to catch his. Her arched eyebrows
and the little furrow between them gave her the look of someone
astonished, or in wonder. Those eyes, limpid, their moistness
catching the dim candle light and sending a beam radiating
outward, seemed to look past her partner's face, upward,
through the window, directly into mine. She held that look
for just an instant longer than seemed natural, an instant
long enough for the realisation to strike me like lightning:
she knows I'm here, I thought.

The shock of that realisation made my entire body stiffen.
Satomi felt it and turned towards me. Did Satomi see that
look too?
Our yes met but we couldn't speak for fear of announcing
ourselves. I wondered if it really mattered any more, yet
I remained silent as I looked at Satomi who had fixed me with
a look of serious concern.

Megumi lowered her yes again. Her brows now knit together
as she made slow nodding motions up and down on the man's
penis giving her an expression as if she was deep in contemplation,
pondering, all the while slowly nodding in assent: yes,
yes, yes...

She withdrew her mouth, gently holding him at the tip between
her thumb and forefinger while her tongue slid up and down
the length of him. Then her head went lower, disappearing
into the shadows between his thighs. He spread his legs
wider and I could see the muscles of his chest and stomach
tighten as he moaned.

"Ah...yes...yes...lick my balls..."

He let out a deep breath, as if the sweetness of her touch
had deflated him completely.

When her head reemerged from between his legs she released
her soft grip on him, but he had grown harder, and now his
stiff penis stood upward on its own, twitching. She didn't
touch him then. Holding her face close she must have been
letting her cool moist breath caress him. He swelled visibly,
straining upward, craving her touch, needing it; his increasing
arousal bringing him closer, ever closer to her waiting
mouth while she held herself tantalisingly just out of
reach, watching him, willing him to grow larger, coaxing
him upward with her breath alone.

She held herself that way for a long time and I began to feel
the stirrings of my own arousal. The weight of Satomi's
hand on my thigh suddenly seemed heavy, damp. The coolness
of her palm sank into my thigh and spread through my crotch.
She is only a few inches away I thought, wondering if from
under the thin robe my growing erection might actually
brush against her splayed fingers resting there. I felt
myself becoming harder, straightening. My penis like
a shark that arches its back and stiffens before the attack
glided silently as it slid along under the cloth of my robe,
her fingers, unaware, dangling just above.

Megumi had risen from between the man's legs and was
kneeling beside him.

"Now...what you have wanted before...I will do it
for you, " she said demurely, her eyes flickering
over the body of her lover and quickly, ever so quickly,
upward at the open window.

I empathized with her having been in a similar position
the night before with Yuko: wondering if Satomi was watching
us, going back and forth in my mind whether or not she was,
and in the end losing my inhibitions more completely because
I thought I might have an audience.

What would she do for him, I wondered?
What did she mean?
The night stilled; there was an air of expectation, and
the potentiality was more arousing to me than anything
I had seen so far. It occurred to me that what she would do
for him she would do at least in part because of me. My feeling
of arousal grew more powerful and my stirring penis brushed
against Satomi's hand so lightly that she didn't
seem to notice.

In the room below Megumi knelt beside her partner who reclined
with his arms folded behind his head. She reached for something
beside the bed, a small bottle or jar: I couldn't quite
make it out. After applying some of the contents to her hands
she leaned over and grasped him in her hands and began stroking
him, slowly, methodically, up and down the length of his
shaft. I could see his skin glistening, shining in the candle
light as Megumi rubbed him with some kind of oil.

He let out a long deep breath as she continued to stroke him.
I felt my own arousal heighten in consort with what I was
seeing, powerless to stop myself from getting a more powerful
erection even as it became obvious to Satomi. Her hand stayed
where it was, resting lightly on my thigh, and it was I who
increased the pressure against her. Through the thin fabric
that separated us her hand felt cool against my hot throbbing

Satomi's hand remained still as she felt my stirrings.
Without looking at her directly I knew when she became aware
of what was happening: her hand seemed to grow more heavy
on my thigh, and out of the corner of my eye I noticed her breathing
grow more rapid and deep. Then she moved, seeking the folds
of the robe in my lap, her hand shyly slipped between them
and I felt her coolness against my thigh.

Below us Megumi continued stroking her partner. My vision
blurred and the image of Satomi's hand on my thigh filled
my mind so that I almost ceased to be aware of the world around

This is such a forbidden thing, I thought, as Satomi fumbled
with the fly of my underpants. Somewhere in the back of my
mind the nagging question of whether or not I should stop
her arose. What was I doing, letting her touch me in that
Where would it lead?
But I had let it go too far already and a kind of fatigue had
come over me; it was nothing physical, I was wide awake,
but a kind of moral weariness had taken hold. I no longer
had the strength to resist the temptation any longer. The
small voices of protest receded into the background, overwhelmed
by the surge of pleasure and relief as Satomi finally freed
me from my strained confinement and wrapped her soft cool
fingers around me.

Through the window I was only vaguely aware of seeing Megumi
turn over on her stomach and place two pillows under her
pelvis, raising her behind off the mat. The man knelt behind
her and gently parted her legs.

"I give you my most delicate flower, " she said.

"Be gentle with me."

He leaned over her and kissed her shoulder.

Satomi released me as it became obvious to us both what they
were about to do. Her hand, still between the folds of my
robe, withdrew back to my thigh as we both returned our attentions
to the scene below.

The scene in the room came more sharply into focus. I looked
at Megumi: waiting, she had placed herself completely
at the mercy of her lover; and at him: he knelt poised eagerly
behind her, and now that I knew its intended target his erect
penis took on a different aspect, blunt and sinister as
he held himself, pointing outward and towards her small

With one hand he positioned himself, disappearing into
the shadowy cleft between her thighs. The muscles in his
legs tensed as he thrust forward and Megumi let out a soft
cry: "Ai...!"

Beside me Satomi took a deep breath, a sharp hissing inhalation
that made her chest rise abruptly. She held her breath and
I felt her fingers grip my thigh more tightly.

"Megumi, is it too much...should I stop?" he
asked, leaning over her.

"No...I want all of it, " she whispered, a raspy
edge to her voice.

"Just be slow..."

Again he thrust himself against her. Megumi let out a long
"Ohhhh..." as he slowly pushed himself all
the way into her.

They remained still for a moment.

"Megumi...Megumi, " his voiced was low and

"You feel incredible. Am I hurting you?"

She turned her head, craning her neck, to look back up at
him: "I'm OK."

"Can I fuck you?"

His voice, strangled had almost disappeared.

"Yes...fuck me...please."

She turned her head away, laying her forehead on the mat,
a gesture of submission that sent a surge through me.

Eagerly he began slowly pushing himself against her, and
each time he thrust into her she let out a faint cry.

"Ai! ...Ai! ...Ai! ..."

"You're so tight, " he gasped.

"I'm not going to last long."

His motions grew quicker, more emphatic as he let his body
drape over hers, letting his full weight bear down on her.

Beside me Satomi seemed to have got over the surprise she
felt. Her hand sought me out again and her fingers softly
grasped me. The touch of her smooth skin on me sent a sweet
shock wave through my body. I swelled between her fingers
and she responded by gripping more tightly.

Rather than pleasuring me she seemed to be exploring. The
sensation of touching a man was new to her and her fingers
moved over me delicately, trying to define for her what
they felt. She grasped the head lightly and one finger found
the opening, tracing around it, then around the ridge and
down the soft underside. Circling me between thumb and
forefinger she squeezed at several points, feeling my
reaction as more blood surged in and I grew stiffer in her
hand. A more experienced woman might have gone about stroking
me more purposefully, trying to make me come quickly, but
Satomi had her own curiosity to satisfy first. Her shy examination
was something I had never experienced before. The intensity
of the pleasure I felt was only a by product of her explorations,
yet I felt incredibly stimulated, to the point where I thought
I might lose myself completely under her feathery touch.

"Megumi...Megumi..." the man repeated over
and over.

The muscles of his thighs and buttocks were clenching and
unclenching as he held himself pressed all the way inside
her and rocked his body against hers. Passion had overtaken
him completely. He had lost control. I understood something
in that moment: Megumi's sweet submission, her total
subjugation to the desires of her lover had in the end turned
the tables. She was really the one in control. My eyes travelled
to her face; her eyes, so serene, had fallen lightly closed,
and on her lips a faint smile played.

"Oh, you're squeezing it out of me. I can't
hold on any more."

Her lover bucked wildly.

"Don't hold it. I want you to come, " she
cooed back at him, and the sweet insistence of her tone sent
him over the edge.

He shuddered and held himself rigid against her, twitching
violently as the spasms of his orgasm wracked him.

"Oh god!" he moaned and let his body drape heavily
onto hers while she wriggled beneath him, clenching and
unclenching her body around him, wringing as much pleasure
out of him as she could.

Seeing the couple below in the throes of orgasm inspired
Satomi. Her grip on me grew firmer, and at last she began
stroking me with a firm steady rhythm. I realised that although
she had never been with a man before she must have seen enough
of Megumi and her lovers to know what I would need at this

I realised also then, that like the man in the room below
me, now oozing out the last drops of his spent passion, I
too had surrendered myself to a soft and inexorable touch.
I looked into Satomi's eyes as she stroked me; deep
in thought she looked, soaking up the novel sensations,
feeling for the first time the power that pleasure could
have over a man. I felt the familiar tingling sensation,
and I knew I couldn't hold back any longer. My body went
rigid and a large sticky jet of come spurted[color
black] against the fabric of my robe. It took all of my self
control not to let out an audible groan as I writhed silently.

Satomi continued stroking me. I do not think she was aware
of the fact that I was coming at first for she reacted with
surprise when the sticky wetness flowed down over her hand.
She gave a small start and released me. I could feel her rubbing
her fingers together, feeling the constancy of my semen.
Still throbbing with pleasure, I longed for her to grasp
me again but she had become to engrossed with the sticky
fluid on her fingers to pay any more attention to me.

"I've never seen her do...that before, "
Satomi stammered, sounding again like a young girl and
not someone who had just minutes before grasped me in a most
intimate way.

Even in the dim moonlight reflecting off the pond I could
see her fidget. She is thinking about a certain part of her
body in an entirely new way, I realised. I'm sure the
thought never occurred to her before tonight, about the
other ways in which two bodies might fit together.

"It seemed like it was something special for her to
do..." my voice trailed off.

I thought back over what we had just seen: Megumi offering
herself to her lover; her soft cries, a mixture of pleasure
and pain. Then of course there was Satomi. She seemed to
be waiting for something, restless. I didn't know
what to do. Apologise?
Did she want me to invite her back to my room now?
I knew her parents were away, but surely they had servants
in the main house, someone who would notice her absence
all night.

Behind the house she had carefully wiped her hand of on the
edge of my robe then quickly slipped away up the hill. Not
sure why I, I followed her until we were both standing beside
the pond in the garden where we stood, speaking softly.

I suddenly felt embarrassed by what had happened, and also
responsible for her. She is after all only eighteen, I thought.
I am her first, at least as far as it has gone. To some men this
might be a dream come true it occurred to me, but at that moment
I felt a great wave of guilt over again having lost my self
control in front of her.

Faintly in the distance a bell tolled.

"Listen, " Satomi hissed.

"It's midnight!"

This word was chosen for it’s unusually high frequency
in erotic texts. It is marked to draw attention to when,
why and where it is used. To some, it may stimulate, to others
it’s a bore. What does your brain say?

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vettelover27469, 61 M
Thank you for your thoughtful concern. Forgive me for mentioning
the same about you having time to visit this site to find
how many items I have submitted. Kind Regards DrabJuggler