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Firkin & Merkin Detective Agency


'Firkin and Merkin Detective Agency, Peter Firkin

'Are you Irish?' The voice was feminine, low pitched
and sexy.

'No, certainly not.'

'Just checking. My name is Patsy Thimble and I'd
like to make an appointment to discuss something I want
you to do for me.'

'OK. Let me check my diary.'

'What was that noise?'


'Sounded like a plopping, slurping sort of noise.'
She'd heard the sound of Clara's full succulent
lips losing their grip on my turgid saliva covered prong.

'Some sort of window cleaning machine outside the
window.' Yeah, cleaning alright ‒ cleaning my knob
preparatory to cleaning my pipes. 'How about 10am

'How about in an hour.'

An hour. A quick table ender for Clara; should make it easily.
'Well, OK but I'll have to reschedule my 2.15.'

'I'll be there.'

I put the receiver down as Clara straightened up after giving
the oozing helmet one last kiss. She slipped her cardigan
off and undid the front clasp of her huge milking bra, the
only type she could find to fit her massive blue veined tits
with their tiny but sensitive nipples. Almost before they
could flop down she had them wrapped around my iron hard
prick while she returned to sucking, deep throating and
licking. This was getting just too nice. I grabbed her by
her head and eased her off my glistening dong and lifted
her to her feet.

'Get your knickers off, girl.' Tits wobbling
and elongating, Clara bent a little to raise her mini skirt
up over her fat thighs. There was plenty to like about Clara
Cowslip and I had liked her the minute her huge breasts had
preceded her into the office when she had been sent by the
employment agency. She had dressed to cover her big voluptuous
body and her big brown eyes had been indirect while I'd
talked to her. Sensing sexual submissiveness, I had hired
her on the spot and then proceeded to gently dress her as
I envisioned her. Plenty of cleavage showing plus little
black mini skirts. Bright coloured underwear just like
the silky midnight blue ones she was peeling down her splendidly
bulky thighs. I reached forward and sucked one of her sweet
nipples while checking her dark forested mons and sliding
a finger between her fat moist cunt lips. Yep, she was ready.
Like a well trained pet. Seems sucking a prick in anticipation
always got her going. Mind you, sometimes she was just too
good and I often finished before the fucking.

I pushed her back onto the desk, and, dropping my tweeds
and used two fingers to guide my knob between her velvety
vaginal lips. 'Lean back and hold those babies up,
baby, ' I muttered and slid my cock all the way in to
her cervix. Her head back, Clara held her two wobbling blancmanges
up for me to suck as my hands went beneath her big thighs to
hold them apart. I fucked her hard and barely registered
her soft sigh and change from pleasantly moist to slimy
as she orgasmed seconds before I deposited a huge load in
her always welcoming cunt. Panting, I waited until her
cuntal canal stopped milking me before I eased my defeated
soldier out. Didn't do to drip spunk onto the trousers
or the carpet.

A gentle slap on the tit. 'OK girl, clean up and some
coffee. Got a real client coming in shortly.' Obediently,
Clara fell to her knees and cleaned my cock relishing the
splooge still oozing from it. She scraped her tongue across
my slit and secretly enjoyed the way my knees involuntarily
buckled with exquisite agony that such an act produced.
Satisfied there wasn't a trace of me or her left on my
semi hard prick, she stood and walked out the door to her
office, her breasts still out and swaying, her black mini
still up about her waist and snail trails of juice sliding
slowly down the insides of her thighs. Her blue panties
were in one hand to be replaced after she had cleaned herself

Half an hour later, Clara showed Patsy Thimble into the
office. Good grief ‒ talk about stacked and packed. Despite
the four inch heels she strode gracefully forward and accepted
my hand, lingering a little. She sat opposite and placed
one shapely leg over the other and placed her handbag next
to her on the floor. She was blonde but suspiciously so.
The smart suit she was wearing was buttoned below a hard
packed cleavage. If she had a bra on, it did a good job of hiding.
The face was attractive without being beautiful and with
suspiciously few lines. Unless I missed my guess, mutton
dressed as lamb.

'Mr. Firkin, I have a job for you. I believe somebody
in our house is removing items ‒ stealing if you wish. I've
lost several pieces of jewellery, at least one painting
and book of erotic sketches. The bastard has even taken
one of my very best vibrators.' My raised eyebrow was
the only thing on my face that moved. She crossed her legs
again and I almost caught a Sharon Stone. 'I employ
a housekeeper, a cook, a driver and a female gardener but
they have been with me for years. My daughter is home from
college and my husband is on one of his overseas jaunts.
Will you take the case?'

We discussed terms and agreed that I would stay the weekend
as an old friend of the family. I contemplated her lovely
swaying rump as she exited. Just then, the door to the other
office opened and my partner Melissa Merkin strolled in.
As usual, she looked a right frump. Big and round, she was
older than I by about 20 years and it showed. Her bright intelligent
eyes were the most attractive thing about her well worn
face and wisps of her grey hair straggled from the bun on
the back of her head. Under that grey hair was a mind like
a computer. She was the brains of the company and did all
the work involving corporate crime. An accounting and
computing wiz, she was too wrapped up in what she was doing
to take good care of herself.

She also didn't mince words. 'Fuck me, she was
a stunner for an old tart. What's the go?' I told
her. 'Sounds like a female to me, lad. No bloke would
nick a vibrator. Not unless he's as queer as a three
dollar bill. I've got a bit of a problem in my office
and I need your help.' I followed her into her untidy
office cluttered with paper, two computer terminals and
a lap top.

'I'm not sure I can help. What's the problem?'

'The problem is that I can't concentrate on a particularly
knotty problem. I need a good cum to clear my mind.'
So saying she pulled her shapeless sweater off over her
head revealing her big saggy tits, thick nipples pointing
to the floor. They weren't in the class of Clara's
but they had a peculiar attractiveness to me being blue
veined with nipples like thimbles. 'Get your gear
off. I fancy a really good shag. I'm sure you're
up to it even if you've just given that fat cow her daily
fuck.' I started divesting myself of clothes as she
pulled her slacks down over her voluminous arse taking
her bloomers with her. Her tits elongated as she bent down
to slip her shoes off and when she straightened I could see
them slap on her rounded belly that did little to hide the
bushy grey cunt hair festooned over her pudenda. She sat
herself down on the divan and pulled me to her by my semi hard
prick. 'I can see a trace of Clara's lipstick on
this, my boy. All the better for me because you'll last
longer. Come here shagger while I get it hard.'

As she swallowed my knob to the back of her throat, I reached
down and hefted her pendulous tits, tweaking and rolling
the nipples into greater prominence. Melissa was rubbing
her hairy twat on my knee and I could feel the moisture dewing
on her wiry cunt hairs. Grasping my now iron hard prick she
fell back length ways on the divan and dragged me onto her
cushiony body and lodged my knob in the clinging cleft of
her slit. Letting go, she shifted her hands to my buttocks
and with a combination of pulling me and pushing her mound
up, she sheathed me to the balls with an almighty groan of
lust. I started fucking her and she responded in kind. I
gathered up her floppy tits and started kissing biting
and sucking her enormous nipples. I felt her climax, a tightening
and a flooding that soothed my aching prick but I was not
even close to coming. She pushed me back and swung onto her
knees presenting me with her wide hips and the underslung
pulsing purse of her cunt lips. I lodged my steaming knob
into the hilt and pulling on her love handles, ploughed
her hard and fast, just how I knew she liked it. She went off
again, and twiddling her clit, again. She tightened her
cuntal muscles and milked a cloud of sperm out of me right
up against the neck of her womb.

She had always amazed me with her ability to energise herself
after a thorough shagging. I had barely enough time to shrink
a bit before she pushed me out and got to her feet pulling
her clothes on as she went. 'Just what I needed. I feel
a 100% now. Off you go, I've got work to do.'

I slouched through the door after dressing. It had always
been the same and we had been doing it from the first minute
after I had showed up in answer to an ad for an ex-detective
for private work. She was a first class and glorious fuck
that didn't mince words when the letch was on her. My
kind of gal.

The next day I arrived at the Thimble mansion to be greeted
by the lovely Patsy who pressed a warm welcoming kiss on
me and led me in. Inside the door was the housekeeper, a stern
looking but well upholstered woman who regarded me with
the evil eye. I was introduced as an old friend of her husband
Teddy, to Bettina Bucket, mid fifties with a firm hand grip
and a voice that would attract iron filings. She showed
me to a delightful room and then guided me downstairs to
a sitting room where Patsy awaited me. With her was a sulky
looking girl of about eighteen, pudgy and florid dressed
in some sort of baggy dress. Patsy introduced her as her
daughter, Tessa. While Patsy and I were embellishing the
story we had cooked up, Tessa Thimble suddenly stood and
I watched mesmerised as acres of flesh moved and swayed
under her tent dress.

'He's no old friend of daddy's, he's
too young. He's some stud for hire you brought here
to fuck while daddy's away.' With that she flounced
out of the room, enormous buttocks roiling and fighting
each other for room in her dress.

'Is she always like that?'

'Only in the last three months or so. Before that we
were really close. Suddenly she put on weight and started
staying in her room. Her grades have dropped off. I think
it has to be a lost love. She won't confide in me.'

Funny!! The last three months was when the jewellery and
other items had started to disappear. One didn't have
to be a Genius Detective to work out who the perp was but finding
out the reason would prove to be interesting, I was sure.

Patsy took me outside to meet the gardener who proved to
be a strong muscular kind of lass about my age. She was tanned
and built like a brick shit house. I cringed when she shook
my hand with a grip that would shatter bowling balls. For
a big dyke looking sheila, she had a feminine name ‒ Rose
Tweedie. She was dressed in a flannelette shirt knotted
under a shelf-like bosom displaying a hard packed stomach.
Her denim cut off shorts revealed muscular tanned legs
that were not all that unattractive but far from the perfect
Patsy's. She had little to say and grunted as I was led
away to the kitchen to meet the cook.

June Bugg was your actual grandmotherly type. Short, round,
white haired with lovely blue eyes and a remarkably unlined
face. Jovial and irrepressible she and I were soon old friends
sharing a coffee. Patsy left for her daily shopping trip
and June and I settled down to a good old chin wag. The driver
wandered in while we were chatting on his way back from dropping
Patsy off. Billy Truncheon was not overly tall or well built
but he packed quite a bulge at the fork of his thighs. He gulped
down a glass of water and sloped off after shaking hands.

'Let me guess ‒ him and the gardener?' I asked.

June laughed. 'Close but no cigar. Sweet Bettina is
his bag, darling. His bag is to be dominated and slapped
and whipped. She is a kinky bitch and he just loves it. Rose
on the other hand is a real sweetie but she scares men off
big time. I reckon she's still a virgin.'

'What's the go with the daughter, Tessa?'

'Something is certainly going on that's for sure.
She used to come and help me in the kitchen but I've not
seen hide nor hair of her for three months. Enough of that
lot. I want to tell you my secret. Can you guess what it is,
Mr. Firkin?' her eyes twinkling with merriment.

'You like to have your cunny licked out then fucked?'
I replied dead pan.

She looked at me absolutely shocked. Then she screeched.
'You darling boy, how did you guess. Are you game? Old
Teddy isn't up to it any more and while Billy's
got a big dick, I can't enjoy beating a man just to get
him off. You are game, aren't you, or that really is
a gun in your pocket.'

She led me into a room several doors from the kitchen and
quickly slipped out of her clothes revealing a handsome
rounded body, creamy white with bustling bulging boobs
and a nipped in waistline. 'Don't let the white
hair fool you, young man, I'm not that old. Look at this.'
She pulled her round belly up to show her white haired mons
then pulled the thick gleaming cunt lips apart to show trickles
of clear fluid running down the insides of her thighs. 'You've
fair got me going. Not often I get a big handsome lad like
you in my pants. Come on, lose the duds and I'll give
you a nice suck and tit wank before you fuck me.'

I obliged and so did she. She was a marvellous fuck in the
traditional position and, after sucking me back up to hardness,
bounced her soft rounded body up and down on my rigid prick
letting me hold the big turgid nippled breasts like reins
to keep her in place. Eventually she collapsed on me completely
shagged out. I hadn't cum again so I laid her on her back
and clasping her big soft tits together, tit fucked her
until I erupted all over neck and mouth. She eagerly bent
forward and sucked the residue.

'Don't be a stranger, ' she smiled as I left.

Totally rooted, I wandered up to my room. Passing a door,
I heard strange noises and stopped to investigate. After
all, that is what I'm supposed to do. I heard loud thwacks
of something supple like a belt hitting flesh. As a genius
investigator, it took no time to figure out that the belter
was Bettina Bucket and the beltee was Billy Truncheon.
This was confirmed when I heard her steely voice rasp out
instructions. 'Stop your mewling, you pathetic creature.
I've told you over and over that your filthy fluids
are not to touch any part of me. Take that!' Thwack,

'I'm sorry, mistress Bet, I couldn't help
it.' Long groan, two more thwacks. 'You crossed
your long, gorgeous silken legs and it just spurted.'
Thwack, thwack. 'I didn't realise I could spurt
that far. It was over four feet.'

'Over my feet and my patent leather shoes, you inconsiderate
slime. Fortunately you cleaned them and the carpet up in
record time, or you wouldn't have sat for a month. Now
be off with you, and put that hideous thing away before it
goes off again.' I ducked behind a (convenient) parlour
palm and watched as Billy slunk out attempting to force
a monster half hard cock into his pants. Geez, the head had
to be the size of a tennis ball. Poor bastard probably couldn't
get it in a normal sized pussy. He had softly shut the door
and after seeing him retreating down the stairs, I slithered
over and put my ear to the door. The genius detective heard
the hum and correctly surmised that he was hearing a vibrator.
The bitch! She got herself worked up by belting Billy and
then got herself off afterwards. I could hear her moaning
and sighing. Of course rule number one in investigative
techniques was to question people when they are at their
most vulnerable. She was certainly vulnerable right now.

I opened the door quietly and entered, entranced at the
sight of bitchy Bettina lying back on a bed with her eyes
screwed shut, her legs spread while one hand bounced one
of those small one inch diameter vibros slowly in and out
of a baby smooth twat while the other hand mauled the huge
nipple of a ridiculously big and firm breast. She was dressed
in slinky black hold up stockings and a corset that nipped
her waist in. I knelt down at the end of the bed and peered
at the pussy she was sliding the vibro in and out of. It was
the size of a mouse's ear! The smallest cunt I'd
ever seen on a full grown woman. No wonder poor Billy didn't
stand a chance. He'd split her wide open if he tried
to prise his prize between the lips of her tiny treasure.
Her name may have been Bucket but she should have been called
Thimble. Hey, that was Patsy's name!

I reached up and stilled her hand, removing and switching
off the hummer. Her eyes flew open, at first hazy with lust,
then shocked, then steely as she recognised me. 'What
the hell??!!!' she shrieked and then gasped as my rock
hard tongue lanced between the juicy lips of her tiny twat
and then rasped up over the hardened pearl of her clit. She
moaned and flopped back grabbing her breasts now with two
hands. 'Oh, you bastard, Firkin. No man has ever put
his mouth on my kitty.' I pulled back only to survey
her prize close up. 'No, don't stop you bastard,
I was almost there, ' she groaned. I gently prised
her thin lips apart and eyeballed the shocking pink interior
gleaming with secretions and winking at me. Massaging
her clit with a thumb, I drove as much of my tongue in to her
tight twat and rhythmically fucked her with it. Slowly,
very slowly her pouch widened enough for me to get my mouth
over it, and using a combination of push, suck and slurp,
suddenly found a stream of thickish viscous cunt juice
bathing my tongue. She had cum and cum big time! I pulled
back and watched a gentle stream of whitish fluid fall out
her pussy and down between the cheeks of her arse.

I looked up over her baby smooth mons and saw that she had
fainted. As an inveterate cocksman, I had seen a few lovers
swoon but never faint. Her monster breasts quivered as
she breathed jerkily but retained their upright position
after her hands had slipped off them. Despite a face that
would send most men running for cover, she had a body second
to none. I stood and got rid of my clothes. Grasping my rock
hard prick, I knelt between her thighs and nudged the slimy
end of my prick between the pulsing lips of her cunt. Gently,
inch by inch, I entered a hole tighter than most arses I had
fucked. God she was tight, but, imperceptibly her vagina
yielded to my stalwart rammer until my balls rested on the
cheeks of her arse. Solidly lodged and hoping I could get
back out again, I decided to let her get used to the invader
while I played with her enormous mounds. I leaned forward,
caressing and moulding while sucking inch long nipples
into my hot mouth.

Giving her more than a gentle nibble, she woke from her faint,
her eyes hazy with lust. She focussed and saw me leering
at her as I worried one of her rigid nipples. 'You bastard,
Firkin, you orgasmed me! What are you doing to my.....hold
on, what's that in, bastard, you're
fucking me!!!' Indeed I was, very slowly in and out
using only a couple of inches and notching my throbber against
her cervix on every inward push. Suddenly, she grabbed
my head and looked into my eyes with tears glistening. 'No
man has ever been there before. I'm 44, er alright,
54 and a cock virgin. Now fuck me, fuuuuucccckkkk mmeeeeeee!'
She wrapped her arms around my waist and raised her stocking
clad legs and wrapped them around my thighs, digging her
heels in and pushing her cunt up at me. Keeping a firm grip
on her marvellous tits, I did as ordered finding that as
she loosened up, I was actually able to give her some long
strokes, feeling her shuddering and crying as orgasm after
orgasm over took her while she rained her juices bathing
my cock and deluging my balls.

I couldn't keep it up much longer and held her still
while I spunked up her tight but now juicy twat. She felt
the hot sperm and cried aloud wrapping her arms around my
neck and almost strangling me. Slowly my dick dwindled
and fell out her followed by a river of our combined cum.
Bettina stopped strangling me as her convulsions mellowed
and she fell back in another dead faint mumbling one last
'you bastard' but in a friendlier tone before
oblivion claimed her. I was eager for more but despite nearly
chewing her nipples off, she remained comatose. Bugger!!
I never was turned on by necrophilia. Resignedly, I got
off her glorious body and went to take a shower.

Dinner that night was a curious affair. Patsy and I shared
a bottle of fabulous South African white wine while Tessa
stirred her food around her plate and looked morose. June,
the cook cum housekeeper bestowed glowing glances and
touches to me while serving up the meal. Searching for a
neutral topic I discovered that this was not Patsy's
first marriage and that her background was carefully guarded.
Eventually, Tessa lurched to her feet and once again I was
mesmerised by the way everything inside her plain dress
rolled and collided. 'She was a two dollar whore who
married Daddy for his money. His money paid for the way she
looks today. More tits, less arse and waist and collagen
implants. Not a friggin' thing about her is normal!'
She stormed out of the room.

'Well, ' said Patsy, 'very nearly true.
I had a good time and it cost more than two dollars. Fuck her.
I've been a good mother to her for the past 10 years and
all I'm copping is shit from her at the moment. I'm
going to bed.' She snatched up the just opened second
bottle and she too stormed off.

I was left to my own devices and considered my options. June
would welcome me into her cosy bed and Bettina might protest
but she would go another fuck. I knew Rose Tweedie, the gardener
lived above the garage in a two bedroom apartment shared
with the chauffeur, Billy he-of-the gigantic-dong Truncheon.
I wondered if he was slipping her a length, or several lengths
come to think of it. I made up my mind. The investigation
must go on even though I hadn't actually asked any questions
of June and Bettina specifically related to the thefts.
I had asked questions like, 'how does that feel, darling?'
‒ or, 'hold those tits together for me baby and tell
me how my dick feels between them?' or, to Bettina,
'are you awake you randy bitch?' I grabbed a third
chilling bottle of wine and two glasses and headed for the

I climbed the stairs and, being the genius investigator,
figured that the door with the dirty gardening boots outside
must be that of Rose Tweedie. I knocked and a bronzed amazon
who towered over me by six inches opened the door wearing
a neck to knees flannelette nightie. Sexy or what! 'What
do you want, Firkin. I was just going to bed. Got to get up
early and get those fuckin' aphids before they stir.'

'I'm here to find out what you know about the items
that have been stolen from your employer. Now, do I come
in and we talk about it or do I drag you out of the garden tomorrow
and question you in front of your employer?' She eyed
the bottle of wine, licked her succulent lips and opened
the door. I sidled past brushing against the protuberant
mounds that pushed at the front of her unappealing nightie.
The flat was lived in and the walls adorned with posters
of roses, and, surprise surprise, male body builders,
all of whom had one thing in common, bulging pouches. As
the door closed, I saw pasted to it a large posed photo of
handsomer than handsome dude, bare chested and wearing
a close fitting pair of dove grey shorts. It was obvious
the guy was slung because a tube the size of an English beer
can was graphically outlined in those shorts. Well, well,
the lady is a cockhound, the genius investigator deduced.
I sat at a small two seat table, uncorked the wine and poured
two glasses.

Rose sat in the other seat and drained half the glass, and
watched while I topped it up.

'What thefts, Firkin?'

'Call me Peter.'

'I'll call you what I fucken well like, you ponce.'

I remembered that June had told me that she was all front.
I glanced at her bulging front and considered whether she
meant tits or attitude. Bearing in mind her own considerable
assets, I deduced she meant attitude. Time to take the wind
out her sails, and, if I played my cards right, get a good
look at those sails.

'I'm, Peter Firkin of the Firkin and Merkin Detective
Agency.' One eyebrow rose and she swallowed another
half glass. If this kept up, I wouldn't get any myself
but rule two of interrogations said something like 'get
'em pissed and they sing like sparrows.' 'Mrs.
Thimble hired my agency to investigate the theft of a number
of items from the house during the past three months. Having
investigated most of the people here and exonerated them,
I'm left with you and the chauffeur.'

'You mean Billy, that poofter fucken ponce next door.
Fuck me, that's a laugh. That little cunt is too scared
to steal his own shadow. Follows that frigid bitch Bettina
Bucket around the house like a love sick fucken puppy.'
Rose gulped another two thirds of a glass and gestured for
more. The more she drank, the worse her language was getting.
Rule two was coming along fine. Her mountainous chest heaved
as she gasped a big sigh and closed her eyes. A single tear
escaped and trickled down her tanned cheek. 'The little
cunt doesn't even know I exist! And the bastard is slung
like a donkey, or a horse.' She opened her eyes and glared
at me. "I've seen it you know. We share a bathroom
through there, ' she said nodding at a door connecting
the two apartments. 'I used to perve at his equipment
through that keyhole until he twigged one day and hung his
dressing gown over it, the big-dicked little bastard!'
She took another gulp of wine and I poured the last of it into
her glass.

Suddenly, she reached across the table and grabbed a fist
full of shirt. 'Now hear me good, Firkin. I don't
go in the house and I've been here ten years. I haven't
a clue what's been stolen and I've no fucken interest
either, got it?' I tried getting her super strong hand
to release my shirt to no avail. Effortlessly, she lifted
me off my seat and I feared for my personal safety. The genius
detective strikes again. Still holding me, she grabbed
my glass and down the remains. 'You're nothing
but a prick and you've probably got a little pisser
down there.' Still strangling me with my shirt, she
reached down and grabbed hold of my todger. The disloyal
bugger started to thicken up as soon as a female hand grabbed
him. Of course the fact that her monumental tits were heaving
up and down and her acorn sized nipples were punching out
the cloth may have helped.

She sighed, somewhat regretfully I thought. 'Get
ya gear off, Firkin and we'll do some fuckin',
you pitiful excuse for a real man.' She was looking
at the poster on the door when she said that. A cockhound.
Me, one of the great lovers, reduced to nothing more than
a dildo. I would have deflated along with my ego, but my treacherous
dick stood rigidly to attention when she flung the nightie
over her head to reveal her astounding body. Amazonian
no doubt, but beautifully, firmly voluptuous ‒ very generous
breasts, a nipped in hard muscled stomach and a protruding
mons clustered with bushy pubes and mounted on gorgeously
sculpted legs. Man oh man, Reubens would have had a heart
attack had she sat for one of his paintings. Mind you, I always
thought the tits in his paintings were a bit on the small
side. Come to think of it, his models were plump and nothing
like the toned goddess that was currently ripping my pants

Rose pushed me back on the bed and straddled my thighs. I
was about to be . I was about to be a human dildo. Was
I fuck!! 'Rose, darling girl, before you jump my bones,
let me tell you that my thing in life is to suck cunt, lick
clits, tongue fuck twats. Please let me do that for you?'
One hand clamped around my not so immodest cock, she thought
for a couple of seconds. Muttering 'OK' she kneed
her way up my body and planted her pudenda inches from my
mouth. Keerist! Where Bettina had a mouse's ear, Rose
had the Grand Canyon. The slit was framed by bulging outer
lips and split for six inches at least. If I fucked this,
I would need a broomstick across my arse to ensure I didn't
fall in! I peeled those lips apart and a clitoris at least
two inches long and conical nearly took my nose off when
it suddenly exploded from the folds and erected. It even
had a tiny helmet on it. Mesmerised, I eyed it while I laved
the inner folds of her cunt with my randy tongue. Reaching
up, I tried to grab as much of her huge breasts as my greedy
hands could hold and commenced tweaking those outstanding
teats. She was breathing fast with big sighs and moans that
became a long groan as I latched onto her enormous clit like
a starving baby. I sucked as much of the pulsing flesh into
my mouth as I could, swirling by tongue around and around
before finally flicking across the top of it while applying
as much suction as I could.

The bitch went ballistic!! She unloaded a stream of pure
pussy juice straight down my gullet and I feared death by
drowning. Swallowing convulsively, I barely managed
to keep up with the flow while she clamped her strong thighs
around my head, keeping me still while she came with an almighty
shriek of ecstasy that even I could hear although my ears
were covered by her flesh. I was being used as a repository
for human waste ‒ a human toilet, a human cum bucket. My eyes
started to roll up and I felt distinctly faint. She just
kept cumming because my swallowing convulsions also caused
me to suck the giant clit that had invaded most of my mouth.
This was ultimate mouth fuck but I was the fuckee not the

Suddenly the bathroom connecting door flung open and there
was Billy Truncheon wearing nothing but a towel around
his waist and waving some sort of candle stick holder. The
towel only reached mid thigh and from my (dis)advantage
point, I could see the tennis ball-sized knob of his mighty
dick protruding below. His slim body was surprisingly
toned and muscular.

'What da fuck is goin' on Rose for chrissake. I
nearly had a heart attack when you screamed. I thought you
were being or killed or something.' The arm holding
his weapon dropped and the war fury left his face to be replaced
by bewilderment. 'You're not killing that guy,
are you?'

'Shit! Almost forgot he was there.'

Oh thank you very much! Me, the great cunt licker, clit sucker,
forgotten in the act of providing her with the greatest
orgasm of her life. If the act of nearly being drowned by
her cuntal flood hadn't already wilted my warrior,
her words surely would have.

She got off me and I took the first deep breath of survival.
She strode the two paces to Billy and grabbed his dick. She
towered over him by at least a foot. Her football-sized
tits rested on his skinny shoulders as she plastered herself
to him. Her groping hand had the desired effect as the monster
began to thicken and lengthen.

'Billy boy, that is some cock ya have there. And I'm
going to have it. Don't even think of leaving or I'll
break your scrawny neck. You've been holding out on
me being stupid with that bitch Bettina. Now you'll
do as I tell you and you can forget about her.'

Rose dragged him over to the bed and nudged me aside with
sufficient force for me to fall on the floor. She sat down
and ripped the towel off to be confronted with Billy's
enormous lance now at the horizontal. His torpedo must
have been at least 14" long and thick as a wine bottle.
She shoved it between her torpedoes and began moving them
up and down his shaft as she plastered her lips over his massive
glans. Billy's eyes rolled back as his mighty cock
hardened still further. A few moments more and she laid
back on the bed pulling him into the welcoming cradle of
her thick thighs. I had a perfect view as she dragged his
cock to her gaping maw, her giant clit erect and glistening.
The Great Cannon meets the Great Canyon! Once he was notched
within the folds, she grabbed his tiny buttocks and literally
pulled him into her, inch by inch until her cavernous cunt
had engulfed the lot.

'Jeezus, Rose, what a tight pussy you have.'

'All the better to fuck you with, you horny stud. Suck
my tits and make me cum you little turd. And don't stop
'til I've come a dozen times. You owe me big time
for hiding this dick from me all these years. We have to make
up for lost time ‒ now get fucking.' Billy obeyed, sucking
on her amazing tits and sliding his huge prick in and out
of her spasming cunt picking up speed in time with her moans
of ecstasy. I had my now rigid dick in my hand but instinctively
knew they didn't even know I was there.

Pistoning even faster, Billy let out an almighty roar as
years of unrequited lust burst from his prick in a torrent,
bathing her insides with gout after gout of thick creamy
sperm, until it gushed out past his tightly locked prick
to pool between her jerking buttocks.

'Billy, lover!! You've done me. I'm fucked,
well and truly fucked!!!!!!' Rose shrieked and hauled
him tight against her heaving melons. 'You are mine,
and mine alone. I'll kill that bitch if she even looks
at you. Come here little big man. Let's go for round

I crept out, my erection dwindling as I gathered up my clothes.

* * * * *

After getting dressed I made my way back to the house and
to my room. Just before I got there, the door to Patsy's
bedroom opened. I pressed back into a (convenient) shady
nook and watched as a young slim man carefully crept out
holding his clothes in his hand. A reasonable dong hung
down dripping the remnants of an ejaculation. He quickly
dressed, and furtively looking around, he grabbed a figurine
from a nearby table and dashed down the stairs.

Wondering, I crossed over and peered in the door. Patsy
lay on her back comatose. Her knees were raised and spread
allowing me a view of the crinkled frills of her hairless
cunt which was oozing spunk. Her naked tits definitely
owed more to the surgeon's knife than nature as they
stood up like a couple of vertical towers from her chest.
They had finger mark bruises on them and it was obvious she
had been used rather roughly. In one hand was a mostly empty
wine bottle that was slowly leaking onto the bed. Her mouth
was open and she was snoring. Apart from that noise, she
looked like a just fucked blow up doll. Yucky, yucky!!

Pondering the identity of the youth, I wondered if Tessa
Thimble would know who he was. My earlier assumption that
she had been responsible for the thefts was now in doubt.
I wandered downstairs to her room and knocked gently. A
slightly muffled voice bade be to come in. Opening the door,
I beheld a most amazing sight. Tessa was naked and on her
knees with her broad arse facing the door. A thin white vibrator
was half way in her anal orifice while a large purple dildo
was plunged between the fat lips of her cunt.

'Bobby? Bobby? I'm ready for you this time. Just
as you wanted. Please fuck me this time. Don't leave
me waiting like you have before, ' she whispered rotating
her magnificent behind like a cow on heat. 'Front or
back, I don't mind. Just do it!!'

Being completely amoral, I had no hesitation in palming
her big soft arse cheeks with one hand while stripping down
with my other. In seconds, my prick was up and aimed at her
like a heat seeking missile. I gently pulled the dildo out
of her cunt with a wet sucking noise and just as gently slid
my rampant dick in to the hilt. Despite the dildo, she was
tight and hot. A few strokes and she went off like a fire cracker
with a high pitched whining moan and bathed my prick with
her hot love juices. May as well go the whole hog, I thought,
and slowing removed the still humming vibrator from her
slimy arsehole. I pushed the glans of my rigid cock into
the still gaping rectum, and then, grabbing big handfuls
of her fleshy hips, pulled myself in to the hilt. Glory be!
Wonderful blissful sensation of hot, hot tightness. She
reached under herself and commenced frigging her clit
and in so doing caused her rectum to alternatively squeeze
and relax on my slowly working penis.

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good story ..but ummmm who was the thief???


rm_Rick251000 replies on 3/19/2008 2:13 am:
Sorry about that. For some reason AFF chopped the end off the story! I've just posted the conclusion.