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Chris's Secrets

9/11/2005

She had shoulder length blond-brown hair that the sun had
bleached to almost platinum on the top. Her body was slender
with curves that were sweeping rather than dramatic and
she had just a slight swell of a belly that added to the allure
in the same way that a slightly asymmetrical rose seems
more real than one that is perfect. Her eyes were the blue-green
of deep water and she had a small impish nose that turned
up slightly near the tip like one of those Turkish slippers
you see harem girls wear in old Hollywood movies. Her skin
had the healthy glow of someone who is often out of doors
without the leathery sheen of the Apollo worshippers who
turn back and forth on the beach to a time clock.
<br>

In general terms, Chris was lean but not skinny. She had
well-muscled limbs whose definition only showed when
she stretched her arms over her head to banish the late afternoon
yawns. Her facial bone structure could have been construed
as nearly masculine were it not for the rose colored fullness
of the lips that were poised over the soft precipice of her
chin.
<br>

The only part of her that stood out from the theme of slender
strength was the round bubble of her ass. It was not pronounced
enough to look unnatural but it was full enough that a man's
gaze would naturally linger even if being observed and
a long stare would definitely be in order if he thought he
could get away with it.
<br>

Chris knew that despite her overall fitness and how much
time she spent on her hair and clothes, the thing that every
man that met her remembered was her ass. In high school she
was happy just to be noticed at first but by the time senior
year came around she resented the sole focus of the boy's
attention.
<br>

By the time I got to know Chris, in her sophomore year of college,
it had become such an issue with her that to pay undue attention
to it made you the object of her unrelenting scorn. If you
wanted to even be her friend you needed to be cautious. Men
who tried to date her because of her ass were fated to become
sorority story road kill, not only rejected by Chris but
also by any girl on campus who had connections to any of the
sisterhoods.
<br>

I saw Chris around campus and even had a class with her freshman
year, but I got to know her because she pledged Zeta Phi as
a freshman, a year before I pledged Phi Omicron. Zeta and
Phi-O were sibling organizations and took it very seriously.
Every pledge was paired up with a brother or sister from
the sibling org, and that person was exempt from the "no
talking to opposite sex" rules that both made their
pledges adhere to outside of class.
<br>

The heavy-duty "Hell Week" period those rules
applied to was actually three weeks long, and the pairings
had a history of becoming fast friendships that rivaled
even the bonds between the members of a pledge class. For
most of us, this was the only real opposite sex contact in
those three weeks and the time was long enough that most
pledges opened up to their "mentor" almost
perforce. There was surprisingly little history of them
becoming couples. Mostly, it was a brother-sister relationship
that developed. Of course, that was the entire point.
<br>

Chris and I were paired up by assumption that we would understand
each other better because we were both athletes. Zeta and
Phi-O pledges mostly came out of the ranks of the hardcore
partiers or from the schools well known drama program.
There were a few Zetas' on the softball and volleyball
teams but I was the only athlete in my pledge class. Actually,
it was being an athlete that kept me from pledging a frat
as a freshman. I had played both football and basketball
freshman year and the basketball season was in full-on
conference play during "Hell Week". I was very
serious about my sports and could not imagine letting my
game slip because of the sleep deprivation and other hardships
I imagined would be a part of the process. So I had gone to
some of the parties but otherwise ignored the Greeks during
my first year.
<br>

Sophomore year we had a new football coach and one of his
rules was that those of us on a football-only scholarship
would play no other sport during the fall semester. We could
play baseball or track in the spring, but no basketball
or hockey or anything else that would conflict with football.
So bye-bye to basketball for me. In truth, I knew my days
on the basketball team were numbered anyway. I was much
better at knocking down running backs than twenty-foot
jump shots. Besides, it meant I could pledge, which meant
my dad was off my back. That is how I ended up in Phi Omicron
instead of a more athletically inclined frat. My dad had
been president of the Phi-O's when he went here and
that meant I would be a Phi-O too.
<br>

Chris was a soccer and volleyball player, which had a lot
to do with her fitness level. I guess she ended up as a Zeta
because of the other girls on the volleyball team. Anyway,
somehow she got stuck with me as her "little brother".
It was funny to me because I was actually a couple of months
older than her, but there you go.
<br>

As "hell week" played out I found the truth of
the stories. Chris was actually an incredible help not
only in the ways I had expected but also in some others. I
had a girlfriend, Cathy, and one of my worries had been that
she would not understand, but Chris carried messages to
her and they became friends. I had not really anticipated
how hard it would be. I had the guys to talk to but sometime
you just need to hear another point of view and Chris did
that for me.
<br>

I was never one to talk with other guys about emotional issues
anyway. OK, so what guy is, right? But even the normal stuff
like complaining about girlfriends and family issues
was not something I talked about with other guys. I would
talk sports or music, sure. Rah, rah, male bonding testosterone
talk; that was about it. Most of my male friends considered
me a bit withdrawn and maybe even cold hearted.
<br>

My best friends have always been girls. Starting early
in high school, I discovered I would rather talk about something
I wanted a serious opinion on with my female friends. Pretty
soon, all my close friends were female. If I had anything
I needed to get off my chest, they were the ones with whom
I talked.
<br>

Also, and this confused me even though I knew it to be true,
it would not be my "girlfriend" but a friend
who was a girl. For some reason, the girls I dated and the
ones I considered real friends were different. A girl I
was dating was going to get more of my softer side than the
guys in the locker room were, but not as much as my female
platonic friends. That part of it caused me no end of trouble.
Girls broke up with me left and right because they were jealous.
<br>

So it was perhaps fated that I was going to end up very close
to Chris. Then it happened. On Friday of the middle week,
my grandfather died. It was not a surprise. Pa-Pa had been
fighting cancer and cancer had been winning for quite some
time. In a lot of ways it was a relief because he was no longer
in the horrible pain. It still hurt.
<br>

My Pa-Pa had forbidden me to come home for a funeral when
I had left for school in August. He was starting to waste
away from the sickness and he said he did not want to be remembered
that way, not by me. He made me promise.
<br>

The frat would have let me go home but they understood when
I told them about his wishes. What they did do was to release
me from some of the rules, though not all of them. I was free
until Sunday morning to skip all the pledge activities
and take some "personal time". I was also released
from the ban on drugs or alcohol. I was not released from
the opposite sex rule.
<br>

My girlfriend Cathy was not pleased. Secretly, I was. Like
I said, I wasn't one to share pain with the guys or with
a girlfriend. I did what most people my age would have done.
I got completely fucking hammered. It was Chris that came
to my rescue.
<br>

By midnight Friday I couldn't see straight. By 2 a.m.
I was sicker than I had ever been before, or have been since.
When the guys tried to help, I got aggressive and kicked
them out of my room. Darren, who had known me a little longer
than the rest, was smart enough to call Chris. It worked.
Chris got through to me, or else I just ran out of alcohol.
She sat with me, watched over me, even helped me to the rest
room and made sure I only felt like all my insides were coming
back out the way I had put the vodka in.
<br>

I woke up Saturday afternoon to a horrible hangover and
a sympathetic ear. By the time Chris tucked me in Saturday
night and went back to her dorm, she knew more about me than
anyone else alive. I was sure I would never be able to repay
her.
<br>

A week later, just as we were all sure that the hassle was
never going to be worth it, Hell Week ended. As per tradition,
the conclusion of the final night was celebrated by a joint
party between the Phi-O's and the Zetas starting at
the stroke of midnight. For the last several years that
tradition had included an honest-to-god barn dance, courtesy
of a Phi-O alumnus who lived out in the countryside.
<br>

The music and alcohol had a dramatic effect on everyone.
Sure, the pledges had been forbidden to drink and been forced
to be very restrained for college kids. What everyone who
has never done it always forgets to consider is that it is
a lot of work for the active members as well. So after three
weeks of denial, it didn't take much to get the party
headed in a direction that would have made Caligula proud.
Pretty soon, almost a hundred college kids were threatening
to set new debauchery standards when the music suddenly
cut off.
<br>

Gina and Marty, the two presidents, walked over to the far
end of the barn and got up to where a makeshift stage had been
created out of hay bales.
<br>

"Awright! Can everybody hear me?" Marty shouted
out at the top of his lungs, "I need all the pledges
and the big brothers and sisters up front here! C'mon,
gather round!"
<br>

It took a couple of minutes, even though everyone except
the newly made fraternity brothers and sorority sisters
had known it was coming. When everybody had gathered up
close, Marty spoke again. "Ok, even though hell is
over, all you former pledges have one more chore."
Marty raised his voice to be heard over the inevitable groan.
"This is between you and the person who has been there
for you over the course of the last three weeks. Until you
complete this task, you can't vote on proposals and
you can't hold an office, so get it done this quarter.
Gina?"
<br>

"Thank you, big brother, " said the pretty
brunette, "Yes, Marty was my big brother. And the
rumors that completing this task you are about to receive
was the first time I slept with him are completely false.
It was the second."
<br>

"Everybody pair up with your big sibling. Let's
go. C'mon, hurry up already. All right. Pledges, the
person next to you has done more than you know. They have
been your advocates in council, they have had your back
and each and every one of them volunteered to lead you through
this time before you were even offered a bid. Understand?
Now it is time for you to pay them back. You must do them a favor.
Anything they ask of you, PERIOD. This is how you pay them
back for their efforts. Marty?"
<br>

"Thanks, Gina. Ok, let's go over a couple of things.
One: the favor cannot be financial or material. No new cars
or dipping into the trust fund. Two: Until the day you die,
the actual favor should be a secret between only the two
of you. It is not a matter for sharing with even your closest
friends. Just for those of you who don't know, Gina
was joking earlier. Sexual favors are not expressly forbidden,
but they are, shall we say, problematical. They are NOT
encouraged. Three: It is the responsibility of the big
sibling not to ask the new member to do something they would
not be comfortable doing. It is a test for the big sibling
too. Don't abuse power. Finally, remember that everything
that happens behind closed doors between us is forbidden
to be discussed outside the bonds of fellowship. Anything
that happens between Zeta and Phi-O is sacred and secret,
including this party. Forever! NOW, Let's Party!"
<br>

The music started blasting again and pandemonium ensued,
save for a few people giving questioning gazes to their
big siblings. I was among them. Chris just gave me a sly smile
and kissed me on the cheek.
<br>

"Don't worry about it, let's just dance, "
she whispered into my ear. The way she said it made me think
I was in a lot of trouble later.
<br>

Maybe it was the cryptic way Chris had said that last bit,
maybe it was the sight of that famous ass wiggling its way
out to the dance floor. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation
and exhaustion of the last 3 weeks combined with alcohol
and a grinding beat. Suddenly, I had a problem. I was fascinated.
<br>

Oh, not just by her ass. By everything about her. Ok, you
may ask, so what's the problem with that? She's
cute, she's intelligent and she seems to like you.
What part of this was a problem?
<br>

Chris was my friend. She knew all about me and I knew a lot
about her. I couldn't be sexually attracted to her;
it would screw up everything! How are you supposed to have
a good, serious conversation with someone when you keep
thinking about how you want to fuck? I tried to shove all
of the thoughts I was having to the side and just concentrate
on the music and for awhile I was successful. I had a great
time dancing with Chris and a bunch of the other Zetas. By
the time "last dance" came around I was sure
I had the problem licked. After all, it was just a momentary
lapse. It didn't really mean anything other than that
Chris was an attractive girl and that I had noticed it. Still,
no use taking chances. For that traditional last slow dance
I looked around real quick and spotted Gina.
<br>

She seemed surprised when I asked her but didn't turn
me down. I felt relieved to have managed to avoid having
that last dance with Chris. I just wasn't sure how I
would handle that and I was sure that I was not ready to deal
with it in my inebriated state.
<br>

"Excuse me there, Brother Kyle, but I believe you're
dancing with my girl, " said Marty as he tapped me
on the shoulder less than halfway through the song, "Mind
if I cut in?"
<br>

"Of course not, Brother Marty, " I replied.
I turned to do the polite thing and finish the dance with
Marty's partner. Of course, he had been dancing with
Chris.
<br>

"Lucky me, " drawled Chris, "Just the
partner I wanted anyway." With that, she melted into
my arms and there was no way I could have refused her even
if I was fool enough to have wanted to. I let myself go and
hugged my friend against me, enjoying the music and the
dull buzz you get when you are just barely still drunk, that
feeling that every thing is slowed down and magnified.
<br>

Her warm breath felt good against my neck as she rested her
head on my shoulder and leaned in close while we swayed to
the slow jam. All of a sudden I wanted to kiss her, an urge
that I fought down and sent off to the deepest dungeons of
my desire. There was a line to be drawn here and as I looked
down and noticed Chris looking up at me I found the willpower
and drew it. I would not kiss her.
<br>

My focus on my own inner struggle was completely lost as
Chris did the absolute last thing I would have expected.
She reached behind her to the hands I had resting on the small
of her back and picked them up and moved them down to be cupping
those incredible cheeks that I was trying to avoid thinking
about. As she did it she leaned in and began to kiss me.
<br>

My reason may have been surprised, but my weak willed flesh
was all too ready for the opportunity, I felt my hands squeeze
her ass hard as my mouth opened and I began to kiss her passionately.
My tongue flicked out over her teeth to capture hers and
as our tongues began to play I reached up and pulled her hard
into my body while I marveled at the thought of how many guys
on campus dreamed about this exact situation.
<br>

Once again, thinking about the situation brought me back
to a realization of who I was kissing and what I was doing.
I can't do this. I want to, but I can't. If I let this
happen now, where will it stop? I searched for a reason to
stop kissing her, any reason. But she wouldn't let
me concentrate! How can I pull away from this?
<br>

Then I grasped it at last. Cathy! Cathy was my excuse! Reluctantly
but suddenly, I broke the lock Chris had me in and pulled
away from her.
<br>

"Chris, I have a girlfriend, " I said in a voice
so low even she must be struggling to hear it, "How
can I do this? If I do, you'll always have it in the back
of your mind. He cheated on her; he'll cheat on me. I
have to go. Now."
<br>

"Kyle, I don't think that is going to be a problem.
Let me explain..."
<br>

"No, " I told her, "No explanations.
You know how hard this is for me. I'm leaving. If I stay,
we will both regret it." I turned and hurried away,
out of the barn and into the country night. I don't think
she even tried to catch me, but I did not chance it by heading
for my car. Instead, I turned left and headed out across
the snow-frosted fields toward the wooded ridge that marked
the property boundary and the train tracks that ran along
it. I walked the tracks until the sky began to lighten in
the east. Then I returned to fetch my car.
<br>

When I got there it was really getting lighter and the sun
was only minutes away from greeting the world. There was
a note on the windshield of my Chevy. I pulled it off, threw
it into the front seat and started up the motor to head for
campus. A lot of other cars were still here and I knew if I
went into the barn I would be answering questions that I
still did not have answers for myself. I pulled out of Chesterman's
farm and headed back to town.
<br>

It was not until I pulled into the parking lot by Donnell
Hall that I actually looked at the note. To my surprise,
it was not from Chris.
<br>

"Kyle: We need to talk. Ring me later. - Gina."
<br>

It was already Sunday morning and the cafeteria would be
opening soon. I was hungry, but I did not want to see anyone
right now. I headed up to the third floor and a shower. Then
I would sleep. Maybe I will call Gina later. Can't hurt.
<br>

My roommate Darren was awake when I turned the key and walked
in. Matter of fact, he looked like he would be heading out
soon. Where could he be going at 6 a.m. on a Sunday?
<br>

"Hey dude, you look beat! Well, you'll be able
to sleep it off. Got the whole room to yourself until late
tonight. I'm going down to Lancaster with Susan. Have
a barbecue; meet the parents, and all that jazz. You gonna
be cool?"
<br>

"Actually, D, " I replied, "I can use
the solitude."
<br>

"Yeah, " said Darren, "Well, when you
get over your mood, call Cathy. There must be seven messages
on that goddamned phone. I don't know for sure, I turned
the ringer off after the third one last night. I'll
see you late tonight or early tomorrow. I'll be gone
when you get back."
<br>

"Back from where?"
<br>

"From your shower. I've been your roomie for
a year and a half, dude. I know your morning-after-a-drunk
habits. Although, I must admit, you look a little more sober
than normal for the weekend. Are you alright?"
<br>

"Well, no, " I answered in a remarkably truthful
(for me) statement, "But it is nothing I want to talk
about now. Enjoy your meet-the-parents barbecue and do
yourself a favor. Don't make a pass at anybody's
Aunt Janet this time."
<br>

"C'mon dude, you saw her, Aunt Janet was a hottie!
But, yeah, I get your drift, " replied Darren, "Don't
worry. This girl is different."
<br>

I sat at my desk an hour later, still in the bathrobe from
the shower, sipping a beer I had pulled from the fridge.
Darren's last words were still in my head. Of all the
things he could have said, none would have freaked me out
more than those. This girl is different.
<br>

I knew what I wanted. It scared the shit out of me. But I knew
I was going to have to take the chance. First, sleep. Then
I need to have a little talk with my girlfriend.
<br>

I stood in front of Chris's door on Monday night and
tried to get up the courage to knock. Last night had been
hard, especially when Cathy started crying. She really
had not done anything wrong and I felt horrible. But it had
to be done. I took a deep breath and knocked.
<br>

Chris's roommate Linda opened the door. She just looked
at me for a second, then turned back into the room and grabbed
her purse and a sweater.
<br>

"Meg, I'll be at Ash's if you need me. I think
I should clear out for awhile." As she brushed past
me she whispered under her breath, "You better not
fuck this up." Jesus! Did everyone on the whole campus
have an opinion on this? I walked into the room and closed
the door behind me.
<br>

Chris was sitting on her bed, eyes red and swollen and glaring
up at me in a way that brought me to a halt.
<br>

"Just what do you think you're doing here asshole?"
Chris's voice was strong and unwavering despite the
obvious evidence of her distress. "Did you really
think Cathy and I would not talk?"
<br>

"Actually Chris, Cathy has nothing to do with this,
at least not anymore. And yes, after Saturday night I did
think you would not talk. Cathy is not why I am here."
<br>

"No, asshole, you are here because you think that
just because I kissed you when I was a little drunk you know
everything that I am thinking. Just because of one little
drunken mistake. Wake up asshole!" As Chris said
the last she got to her feet and threw a right cross at me.
Not a slap, a punch. It caught me so off guard that I did not
even try to roll with it. She caught me clean in the left cheek
and my head snapped back and to the right with the force of
the blow. Like I said, Chris is in pretty good shape. It hurt,
and I knew it was going to leave a nasty bruise and maybe even
a shiner under my eye. I brought my head back in line in time
to see that she intended to follow up the right with a left.
<br>

I caught Chris's fist in my hand almost casually and
pulled her arm so that she flew into me. I did not waste time
with words; I just attacked her lips as I crushed her hips
into mine with the left arm I had thrown about her waist.
Chris struggled for all of thirty seconds before the fight
went out of her and she melted into my arms and snaked her
tongue into my mouth. I hugged her hard as I kissed her like
I had never kissed anyone before. Because that was true.
I had kissed objects before, girls I liked who were willing
to kiss back. This time I was not kissing the lips or holding
the body. I was kissing the woman in my arms.
<br>

After a short time that seemed to be both an eternity and
only a moment, I relaxed my hold on Chris and let her breathe.
She put her head on my chest and sighed.
<br>

"Oh Kyle, now what?" said Chris, "This
is just out of control. Cathy is my friend now, damn it! How
am I supposed to live with myself? I would hate someone who
did this to me. I know what I want, but it goes against everything
I have ever believed in."
<br>

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I broke up
with Cathy, you didn't. It is not your fault. It is mine.
I never told her we were anything permanent. Never even
said I would not date anyone else. She just assumed that
since we were sleeping together it meant we were something
special. I never said that to her and I sure as hell never
meant it."
<br>

"Well Kyle, maybe you can lie to yourself that way
but I can't!"
<br>

"What am I lying about? Chris, at this point you know
more about me than anyone on the planet. My parents don't
know half of what you know and you absolutely know full damn
well that Cathy and every other girl I have ever slept with
has no idea who I really am."
<br>

The declaration seemed to catch her as off guard as it caught
me. No, I mean that. Even though I know this about myself
I am pretty sure that I had never vocalized it.
<br>

Chris just stood there. You could almost see her reviewing
things in her mind, going over every conversation we had
during the last month and comparing. Of course, she came
to the same conclusion.
<br>

"What are you saying, Kyle? Because it seems to me
that you are saying an awful lot more with that statement
than it seems like on the surface."
<br>

"What do you think I am saying? I love you. I have loved
you ever since you helped me through the other night. No
one ever did anything like that for me before. I think I am
finally ready to take a mmmff..."
<br>

I had to stop talking when she kissed me again.
<br>

"Kyle, " she said a few minutes later, "Do
you really mean all that? I think you do, because I think
I would know if you were lying to me, especially now. But
I need to know for real."
<br>

Somewhere in my dazed head I found the ability to reply with
at least part of my brain.
<br>

"Yes, Chris, I mean it. I really do mean it."
<br>

"OK, then this weekend we are going away together.
My parents have a friend who has a cabin up by the lake. He
is always looking for someone to check up on it during the
winter. I think I will volunteer."
<br>

So Friday evening we were in my car on our way to the cabin
of this mysterious friend. I was still in shock at myself
concerning the events of the past week. At Chris's
request, we had not spent a lot of time together. She had
called me every night and we had shared a table at dinner
in the cafeteria, but other than that we had been very careful
to treat each other normally in public. She said that she
wanted to do it that way out of respect for Cathy's feelings.
I agreed to it because it gave me a week to think about what
I was about to do. I knew that once I slept with her my whole
life was going to change.
<br>

A cabin! As we pulled up around the driveway, I was shocked
at the "cabin" we were going to spend the weekend
in. It was a full A-frame house, looking out over the lake.
I could only dream that someday I would make enough to afford
a getaway cabin like this. I pulled into the carport that
Chris pointed out to me and got our stuff out of the trunk
while she went inside to turn up the heat. The shore in front
of me sloped down to where a small dock and boathouse stood
over the ice encased lake. As beautiful as it was now, it
must be twice as nice on a warm summers evening.
<br>

"Hey silly! Are you coming in or are you gonna stay
out there and freeze?" Chris called to me from the
doorway. I turned my back on one vision of beauty, and headed
inside to another.
<br>

"Well, you've got me here, all alone and at your
mercy. What do you intend to do about it?" I asked as
I stepped inside and closed the door. Chris was in the living
room, starting a fire in the hearth. "Did you already
get the furnace? It is not that much warmer in here than it
is out there."
<br>

"Yes, already got it. It is cold. Would you bring me
the matches from the kitchen counter?"
<br>

"Of course I will, " I said, retrieving them
and walking up behind her, "Here ya go. Hey, hold the
phone. The fire is already started. What are the matches
for?"
<br>

"For getting you close to me of course. Now give me
the kiss I've been waiting on for five days."
<br>

It was all I needed to hear. I wrapped Chris tight in my arms
and crushed her lips to mine. I lost track of time as I allowed
my mind to focus on every little detail of her. To memorize
the little notch where she chipped a tooth a few months back.
To notice the difference in the way her stronger arms gripped
me compared to my last couple of girlfriends. The raw passion
in the way she kissed, aggressive and willing to take the
initiative. The one thing I wanted to do that I didn't
was to grab that wonderful ass. Despite the other night
I was still mindful of the fate of other guys before me. Eventually,
we broke away and tried to remember how to breathe. Chris
sighed and lay her head down upon my shoulder.
<br>

"Oh Kyle, it's so nice. It has been so hard to stay
away from you all week. I wanted to see you more, I really
did. I just couldn't."
<br>

"That doesn't matter right now, " I replied,
"All that matters is that you and I have all weekend
alone to make up for it. But I am going to make you feel every
moment that I longed for you this week. And you still have
to pay for this." I reached up and touched the bruise
beneath my eye from her punching me Sunday night.
<br>

"I told you I was sorry, " Chris started to whine...
<br>

"And I told you we would talk about it when we got some
privacy. Something we finally have."
<br>

"But I didn't even do it. Haven't you heard?
The whole campus thinks it was a present from Cathy for breaking
up with her. Ask anybody!"
<br>

"I know, " I replied, "and I let everybody
think it. It seemed to salvage something from the situation
for her. Everybody telling me how I deserve it and they would
have done the same thing to me. Such a little thing, bravely
standing up to the big he-man linebacker. After all, she
is literally half my size. People respect her for it."
<br>

"You could have told them, " said Chris, "Let
them know it was me. I wouldn't have minded, and I may
be skinny but I'm still a lot bigger than Cathy. Wouldn't
it have been less embarrassing?"
<br>

"Probably, but that's alright. Let everybody
fuss over her standing up for herself. They may think I'm
a jerk but at least she gets a way to save some self respect."
<br>

"You're not a jerk, " Chris said, kissing
me on the cheek just below the bruise, "It is very sweet
of you to think of it that way. See, you're not the cold-blooded
monster the media guide makes you out to be." Chris
pulled away and slid her hands down into mine. "Now,
if we are finished talking about other women, would you
please take the matches and run upstairs to light the fireplace
in the bedroom? It will take a while to warm the house up,
so I'll get a bottle of wine and we can sit here on the
couch under a blanket and drink it before bed."
<br>

I took the stairs two at a time, not wanting to spend any more
time away from her than absolutely necessary. The bedroom
was huge, with seemingly the entire eastern wall made out
of glass and a fireplace just next to the bed where it would
do the most good late at night. I got the fire lit and added
enough wood to get it going strong before heading back downstairs.
<br>

Chris had turned off all of the lights except for a small
one in the kitchen next to the stairs, which gave me just
enough light to not trip and kill myself. She was sitting
facing the fire, the flickering light painting an almost
surreal picture with only the crackle and pop of the burning
wood for music. Hearing my footfalls on the hard wood floor,
she stood and turned. She had taken off her clothes and I
fixed the scene in my mind, knowing that I would never forget
this moment. Her breasts were not large but the way they
sat firm and high seemed to fit with the rest of her; small
nipples perched on a perfect half shell. Her hips were cocked,
as if she were daring me to look at the picture they framed.
She did not say a word, just lifted her arms to show me she
wanted me with her and I moved across the room quickly to
oblige.
<br>

I lifted her up over the couch and into my arms, thinking
to make straight for the bedroom.
<br>

"No, not yet, " she said, motioning to the couch,
"Come around and let's sit in front of the fire
for a spell."
<br>

I set her down and she took my hand and led me around the couch,
gentling pushing on my chest to get me to sit. She ran her
fingers through my hair and then grasped it to pull me onto
her waiting breast. I spent no time playing, just sucked
the nipple hard as I could and tried every angle in an attempt
to get her entire tit into my mouth. She continued to play
with my hair as she began to softly hum and moan her encouragement.
<br>

I spent a little while just sucking and exploring before
beginning to nibble on her rapidly hardening teat. I felt
it as it filled with blood and became a small pebble between
my teeth. I pulled away and flicked it lightly with my tongue
before moving over to repeat my attentions upon its neighbor.
I circled each nipple with my tongue before giving them
playful bites and with each sharp taste I took she would
gasp and her hips would rise off the couch just slightly.
<br>

I had just begun to kiss my way downward when Chris stopped
me again. She leaned in to kiss me while her hands moved down
to pull my shirt up out of my jeans and lift it up over my head.
<br>

"It's hardly fair for just one of us to be naked, "
she whispered before slipping it over my head and throwing
it to the side. I reached for her again but she slipped away
from my grasp. "Oh no. My turn. Hands at your sides
or I'll stop until they are." So saying she turned
the tables on me and took back the control of the evening
I had begun to steal away.
<br>

She ran the tips of her fingers, just the nails really, lightly
up my arms and down across my chest to unbuckle my jeans.
As she worked the zipper down she leaned in and returned
my favors to her on my nipples and I found myself echoing
her hip raising and gasps as she bit at me as well. Each time
my hips lifted she pulled my jeans and boxers down a little
more, until I felt my erect cock slip out and slap lightly
against the slight curve of her belly. At this she backed
up to pull them the rest of the way down and off and they joined
my shirt on the rug beside the couch.
<br>

From her knees she looked up at me and smiled. My mind screamed
what I wanted her to do but I kept my mouth silent for fear
that to voice my desire would lead to its denial. She rested
her right hand on my left knee and her smile gave way to a series
of small giggles as she teased her way up my leg with her nails.
<br>

"I know what you're thinking, " she whispered
in a quiet voice, "because I'm thinking it too.
But I wonder what I might be able to trade it for, hmm?"
The whole time she ran her fingers lightly across my quads
and came just short of touching me before slipping back
down to my knee again. She caught my eyes with hers and licked
her upper lip slowly from right to left. "Will you
do anything I ask? Anything at all?"
<br>

"Oh god Chris, yes." Easy enough to say. I would
do anything for her anyway, so it made no difference for
me to play along. Besides, I found it exciting how she was
taking charge. No one had ever done this with me.
<br>

She let her lips replace her fingers and kissed her way slowly
up the trail they had blazed. As she got higher on my leg my
breathing came faster and it was harder to leave my hands
at my side. Just as she reached the top she pulled back and
went to my right knee and repeated the tortuous pleasure.
This time she paused in mid air just above the head of my cock
and looked up to make eye contact before sticking her tongue
out and lightly licking up the underside to the tip.
<br>

She kept her eyes on mine as she circled around the head with
her extended tongue before finally taking me into her mouth.
Then her eyes released mine and closed as she took my cock
farther in and I let my head fall back against the couch and
fought to keep my hips still. I put my hands on her shoulders
as she slowly worked up and down but resisted the temptation
to put them on her head.
<br>

Chris varied her motions and speed slightly as she slipped
me in and out of her mouth, at times pulling me out completely
and wetly running her mouth down the side as though I were
a Popsicle and she was catching the melting drips. At times
she would briefly fall into a steady rhythm but she would
pause or hesitate at odd times to put breaks in the motion,
keeping me on an edge but never allowing me close enough
to where I might fall off. My hands gripped her shoulders
so tightly I feared I would bruise her but I never allowed
them to migrate further towards her head, although I did
run them up and down her arms a few times.
<br>

After a small eternity, Chris looked up at me as she pulled
back and gave me another helping of that mischievous smile.
"Carry me upstairs?"
<br>

I didn't need to be asked twice. I easily lifted her
into my arms and headed sideways up the narrow stairway.
The fire I had started was warming the room nicely as I set
Chris on the bed. I sat down at the end near her feet and began
to run my fingers lightly up and down her shins. She shivered
slightly, hopefully from my fingers. Just to be sure, I
went to the chair in the corner and took the quilt that was
draped across the back of it. I draped it across my shoulders
and crawled up on the bed from the far end.
<br>

"Cold baby? Let me bring you something to warm you
up..." As I said it I began to kiss my way from toe to
knee. When I reached her left knee I slipped the quilt up
over my head to her hips while I went back down and kissed
my way up the right leg. This time when I reached her knee,
I kept going up, alternating from leg to leg. Chris's
fingers reached down to run through my hair and caress the
edges of my ears as I continued upwards toward my goal.
<br>

I kissed and nibbled my way around the warmth I could feel
coming from her. In the slight chill that still was clinging
to the room I could tell my direction from that alone. The
quilt over my head meant I could not see a damn thing, but
I was having fun feeling my way around, and Chris did not
seem to mind. Her wiggling and breathing were both getting
quicker and a little more insistent. I knew I should tease
some more, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to taste
her. I finally moved to run my tongue up her slit and got a
taste of how much she was enjoying herself. But just as I
was getting started her hands tightened in my hair and she
pulled me upwards. I had forgotten how strong she was. She
pulled me up and out from under the quilt, kissed me firmly
and stared into my eyes.
<br>

"Not now. Maybe later. Now I want to be fucked. Hard."
<br>

I didn't have to be told twice. I scooted up a little
bit more and rose up on my arms so I could see her face in the
firelight as I eased into her. She was so hot I felt as though
it were going to burn me as I slowly slipped in.
<br>

"I said hard dammit!" She grabbed my sides and
reared up to force me all the way into her. I guess I did need
to be told twice. I pushed hard into her with my hips and moved
from side to side as though I could find an angle that would
get the rest of my body inside her. Then I lifted up and pulled
back as far as I could without actually pulling my cock out
of her. For just a moment I paused at the top before I slammed
down like a roller coaster going over the edge.
<br>

I put my hands just below her arms and used the time I had spent
in the gym to may advantage as I began to thrust, hard and
quick on the way down but slow and smooth as I lifted back
up. Chris fell back into the pillows and rested her hands
on my biceps. She looked up at me and whispered encouragement
as I began to find a rhythm.
<br>

"Ummm... uh-huh... that's what I meant... Ohhh!!!
Yes, like that... Oh god yes, hit me hard, do that... Ummm...
hard ummm ...UH oh Kyle... umMMM."
<br>

Her eyes stayed fixed on mine the entire time, as though
she were unwilling to close them for fear of forgetting
herself or me. They would widen slightly as I thrust down
and then relax while I pulled away.
<br>

I began to concentrate on going faster and harder, determined
to make her shut her eyes in the grips of her passion. I began
to grimace as it became almost painful, but all she did was
smile and breathe harder.
<br>

For the first time in my life it became important to me that
she come before I did. I began to make slight changes in my
timing or motion, watching her face for reactions. I knew
Chris was getting closer when her mouth dropped open and
the air began to leave her in gasps instead of long smooth
breaths. Then I found something.
<br>

I moved up at the very end of a long hard motion, instead of
just in. As my cock rubbed up and in against the top of her
pussy, Chris's throat caught and her teeth came out
and bit into her lower lip. Her hands switched from my arms
to my back and her nails dug in as I repeated the motion.
<br>

"You...like...that...hung, " I couldn't
talk loud. My words hissed as I gulped air in through my teeth
as I continued to thrust into her.
<br>

"Now I... have you. Come for me baby... Please Chris,
I want to see it, I want to watch your face as you cum... “The
sound of my voice seemed to be driving her on, so I worked
hard to find the extra air and denied my normal urge to stay
quiet.
<br>

"I want to watch your eyes squeeze shut as I feel your
hips lift up into mine. Feel your legs jut out straight beneath
me as the wave travels up your back and hear you cry out when
you can no longer deny me."
<br>

Her nails raked my tired back as I said it to her and the look
on her face became one of supreme concentration at each
impact. My legs and arms were beginning to burn with the
effort as she began to shake her head from side to side. I
collapsed down onto my elbows as I tried to keep up the pace,
fear that if I should falter I would lose what I had gained.
<br>

Finally, I heard a change in the breathing that was now beside
my ear. Her gasps became quicker and deeper and I hoped it
meant what I thought. Her thighs locked around me as a wordless
high-pitched moan began to leave her. One hard thrust and
her back arched beneath me. At the same time her nails dug
in sharply and a new pain blossomed in my shoulder as her
voice was cut off and I felt her teeth in my flesh.
<br>

The pain broke through my concentration and I felt my legs
go tight and my calf muscles pop as I exploded into her, coming
with her, the two of us losing all sense of time and place
for an eternal moment. My muscles stayed locked inside
of her as I felt the pulses of my orgasm. She bit harder twice
as I felt her body shudder beneath mine before it relaxed
utterly. Her jaws unclamped from me and her head fell back
into the pillow. I collapsed beside her and we lay there
for a while just trying to find our way back from heaven.
<br>

After we returned to earth, Chris snuggled in under my arm
and put her head on my shoulder. The fingers of her right
hand twirled little curls in the hair of my chest while I
stared at the ceiling and wondered what I had done right
to deserve this. I don't know how much time passed before
either of us spoke. I would believe an hour as easily as I
would ten minutes.
<br>

"Kyle? Do you love me?"
<br>

"I already told you I did, silly. Yes. I love you."
<br>

"And that won't change just because you learn
something new? You won't think I am a different person
or anything, you won't stop respecting me or loving
me..."
<br>

Now I was starting to worry. "No, I don't think
I could stop loving you now, even if I wanted to stop. But
you are scaring me. What did you do, kill somebody?"
<br>

"No! Oh my god, where would you get an idea like that?
Of course not! No, it is just...you see...I want your respect
and I want you to love me and I want to keep having nights like
tonight and...."
<br>

"And what Chris? What could possibly be so bad that
it would change how I feel about you so completely?"
<br>

"Well, I have always been this way, but the first time
I let somebody know it they called me a slut and a whore and
the next time was even worse. Kyle, I can't lose you
now. I have spent so long keeping people away. I just want
your promise that you are not going to get up and leave."
<br>

"I absolutely promise that I am not going to get up
and leave. What is it, what could it possibly be?"
<br>

"Kyle, there are two things about me that nobody knows.
If this got out, I mean, with the way people talk and the way
guys look at me..."
<br>

"Chris, what is it? Just say it!"
<br>

"I want you to fuck me in the ass Kyle. I want it so bad.
Please, I promise you'll like it as much as I do, I mmpphhh..."
<br>

This time I was the one to cut her off in mid-sentence with
a kiss. I kissed her hard, needing to show her how much I was
not upset by what she had said. Inside I still had a part of
me that was in joyful shock. I was about to do something I
had almost talked myself out of wanting, and now she was
asking me to do it.
<br>

I lost myself in kissing her for a while, but finally she
pulled away. "Kyle, please. I need you. In the chair,
my overnight bag. Please bring it here. Or just reach in,
at the bottom you will find a little tube and..."
<br>

"And this?" I said, pulling out a slim golden
vibrator. "Don't have a lot of confidence in
me, do you?" Even in the dim firelight I could see her
blush.
<br>

"Please, it's not...I mean, look, a smart girl
is always prepared!"
<br>

"Its ok, I was just kidding. What do you want me to do?"
<br>

"Get up on the bed behind me, here let me move. Ok, give
me goldie. Now take the lube...oh honey, I didn't even
think. Are you ready?"
<br>

"Are you kidding Chris? I've never been this
hard in my life!"
<br>

"Ok, then get some of the lube out and rub it.... uh-huh,
just like that, oh that feels good. Now put your cock in my
pussy and get some of the lube on your thumb. Oh yeah, that's
it baby. Give me that hard cock in my pussy. Now slip your
thumb in my ass. Go a little slow... uh-huh... push it in.
Ummm, god that feels so good. Can you feel your cock in my
pussy with your thumb? Push down and feel it. Feel it sliding
in and out? Can you feel the ridge through the little wall?"
<br>

I could feel it. Could I ever! It felt like there was almost
nothing between my thumb and my cock. My thumb was buried
in Chris's wonderful ass, and not only was I getting
away with it, she was telling me what to do! I began to move
my thumb in and out, timing the motion in unison with the
movement of my cock in her pussy. Chris began to move with
me and she started the little gasps like she had done before,
so I knew she was enjoying it even though she had stopped
talking. We kept doing this for a couple of minutes before
Chris started telling me the next thing she wanted.
<br>

"Ok, Kyle, now ease your thumb out slowly and grab
the lube again. Pull out of me and put some of it on you. Then
put it...Ohhh, yes right there, up against the hole, now
go kinda slow... uhnnhh, god oh yes, it's ok keep going,
slide that big dick into my ass..."
<br>

I worried for a second because it seemed to be hurting her,
but when I slowed down more she immediately told me to keep
going. As I eased in I felt a little ring of muscle gripping
me and as the head of my cock passed it I felt the resistance
lessen. At the same time it seemed as though Chris relaxed
a little.
<br>

"Go ahead, Kyle, push it deeper into my asshole baby.
Oh god, that feels so good."
<br>

"Doesn't it hurt? You always hear that it hurts..."
<br>

"It hurts, but it feels good too. Ok, hold still for
a second. Now start moving for me baby, not too fast or too
far..."
<br>

I slowly moved forward as far as I dared and then began to
slowly pull back. The feeling was different from her pussy.
As I pulled back so that the head of my cock was in danger of
being pushed out the feeling intensified and Chris began
to shudder. I could tell that the painful part was centered
there, so I pushed back in, going a little deeper this time.
<br>

"Unh-huh, ok baby, yes put it all the way in, then slowly
pull away, oh god, oh god, Mmmmm, not so fast, wait, wait...ok
now go, uh-huh a little faster..."
<br>

Chris was beginning to move with me, as she seemed to be adjusting.
I was lost in the new sensation and in the idea that I was really
doing this, the one thing I would never have dared to bring
up.
<br>

"Oh Kyle, ok now, don't hold back now, fuck me...fuck
my ass!"
<br>

I began to get into it now, just enjoying the feelings and
looking down and watching my cock disappear into that gorgeous
ass that I had been dreaming about from the moment I first
saw her. I put my hands on her cheeks and squeezed them while
I moved in and out in an ever-increasing pace.
<br>

As I watched I knew I could not hold back long, even though
I had just come a little while before. I started trying to
think about spring football practice that was coming up
or mat problems or anything at all besides the fact that
I was fucking Chris in the one way I had always wanted to and
that she was enjoying it just as much as I was.
<br>

Chris began to really moan and breathe hard now and I tried
more than ever to concentrate on anything except what I
was feeling or the way it looked when I glanced down. I was
moving faster now, as fast as before when we were doing things
the normal way. Chris let her head fall to the pillows and
then I felt her fingers begin to play with both herself and
me from underneath.
<br>

Just as I was beginning to think I was going to succeed in
holding off I heard a buzzing sound and then I felt Chris
push the little gold vibrator inside her pussy. As soon
as I felt it humming against me through the thin wall of her
pussy I knew I would not be able to hold back very much longer.
I did not stop to think, I just reacted to my disappointment.
<br>

"Damn it, I was ok until you did that!" SMACK!
I slapped her ass hard with my open hand. I was caught completely
off guard by her reaction.
<br>

Chris gave a surprised cry and her back pulsed with a wave
of motion from her ass to her shoulders. As it crested over
her she screamed into the pillows.
<br>

"Oh, fuck yes! Spank my fucking ass! Mmmmhmmm!"
<br>

I began to bring my open hand down upon her cheeks as I buried
my cock in her asshole, lightly at first and then harder
as the convulsions and little screams of pleasure continued.
I kept at it for a couple of minutes and her ass cheeks were
beginning to get very rosy when suddenly she began to pump
the vibrator in and out of her pussy and I knew my time was
up.
<br>

I gave a wordless inarticulate voice to my pleasure as I
came into her ass, shoving my cock as deep as it would go and
collapsing on top of Chris. We both fell over sideways and
for several moments we just lay there, my last pulses pushing
the very depths of my soul out into her. It was many hard deep
breaths before I could find any strength to talk.
<br>

"Oh my god, Chris. I had no idea. Incredible. I'm
sorry it didn't last so long. I couldn't help it,
I just had to..." A nervous rush of excuses and explanations,
none of them needed.
<br>

"Shhh, be quiet. I'm fine, Kyle. Just lay here
for a minute. It was long enough."
<br>

I dimly remember her getting up a few minutes later, and
us rearranging ourselves, cleaning up a little and snuggling
into the covers. As I drifted off to sleep I remembered wanting
to ask about something she had said, but before I could grasp
at the concept my eyes were closing and I was floating away...
<br>

I woke up with the sun streaming in on the bed. Wow, what a
night! I knew it. I told myself last Saturday that if I slept
with Chris everything was going to change. What I did not
know was how. No sex had ever been like that! Not just what
we did, or how, but the way it felt! So much more intense.
I lay there in the sunshine just enjoying the morning afterglow.

<br>

I could hear Chris in the kitchen downstairs behind me.
She must have been up for awhile because I could hear the
bacon sizzling and it smelled like breakfast would be ready
very soon. How lucky can one guy get! Not only did I get to
experience the greatest night of my life, but also she gets
up early to make me breakfast. I just relaxed and stared
at the wall as I listened to her prepare things. If this is
love, I have been a real fool all these years.
<br>

I could hear Chris putting things on a tray and the light
footfalls as she crossed the kitchen to start up the stairs.
I roll over to watch her walk in, the love of my life.
<br>

"Mmmmm, good morning sexy, sleep well?" Chris
put her arms around me as I rolled over and curled into my
arms, laying her head on my shoulder.
<br>

"God, Chris, how could I not? You wore me out..."
I kissed the top of her head and gave her a squeeze as she snuggled
her naked body into mine under the covers.
<br>

"Hey, wait a minute! If you are still in bed with me
than who..."
<br>

"Hi Kyle, " said Cathy from the doorway, a breakfast
tray in her hands and a mischievous smile on her face. She
wore a lace robe over a white negligee that I had never seen
before. "Chris and I have something we need to talk
to you about..."

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EXCELLENT!!! Your writing makes me want to be there. Joining,
tasting, sharing....

9/12/2005

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You've outdone yourself this time. Excellent story.

9/12/2005

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Utterly fabulous! Why aren't you writing professionally?
CANNOT wait for the rest of the story! Thanks!

9/13/2005

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Your writing has got to be some of the best I have ever read.

8/24/2006

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This was really good kept me intrigued the entire story and wanting more

12/12/2017