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Angie's Fantasy (fm:adultery)

6/1/2006

The things you do in your youth have a way of coming back to
haunt you.
Sometimes that can be a good thing, but sometime it can fuck
you up big
time.


Remember when you were a teenager and desperate to get rid
of your hated
virginity? Remember what lengths you went to to try and
get your
cherry popped? Well, that was me times ten. I couldn't
even get a
date, let alone get laid. It didn't help that I was overweight
and had
pimples all over my face and that I was inordinately shy.
And naïve,
can't forget to mention naïve. I was so eager to please
and be
accepted that I was taken advantage of all the time. The
one thing I
had going for me was that I had a driver's license and
a car. The car
had been a bittersweet gift from my brother. When I was thirteen
he
was drafted and sent to Viet Nam and he never came back. The
day I got
my learner's permit my dad called me into his den and
handed me a set
of keys.


"Danny said that if something happened to him you
were to get his car."


It took me a while before I could drive it without getting
all weepy
eyed, but then something happened that, I'm ashamed
to admit, made me
forget all about Danny. I became popular. I was suddenly
everybody's
good friend. It was the car of course, but that's where
the naïve part
came in. I thought that everyone had suddenly discovered
what a great
guy I was - that suddenly they had seen the 'inner me',
the 'real' me.
Suddenly it was, "Hey Dave, let's go to the lake
this weekend, " or
"Dave, what do you say we catch a movie at the drive-in."
I would
always say yes and a bunch of kids would pile into the car
and we would
take off, but when we got where we were going I was still the
odd man
out. They weren't all one way about it; they did pay
for the gas and I
never had to pay my way in at the drive-in movie, but as far
as getting
anywhere with the opposite sex I was still batting zero.
Even the
times that the guys "brought along a girl for me"
she always ended up
with some one else. Eventually I tumbled to the fact that
I was being
used, but hey, any popularity was better than none.


I don't even remember how many times I drove to the drive-in
and watched
in the rear view as a couple made out, or watched out of the
corner of
my eye as a couple necked on the front seat next to me. More
than once
a couple actually fucked on my back seat and on those nights
I would go
home with a severe case of blue balls and beat my meat until
it hurt.
Then came the night that changed my life. It was a Friday
night and a
couple of guys asked me to take them to the drive-in. Billy
Moore was
in the back with Mary Koslowski and Nancy Holbrook. The
front seat had
Bobby Neubert and Sally Mason sitting next to me. Ten minutes
into the
movie I heard a low moan from the back and I looked in the mirror
and
saw Billy finger fucking Mary. Mary had Billy's cock
in her hand and
was stroking it and Nancy was watching it all with disgust
all over her
face. Then Nancy said, "You guys are no better than
animals" and she
opened the door and got out of the car. I got out to follow
her. I
figured that I'd catch up with her, tell her how disgusting
I thought
Mary and Billy's behavior was and maybe get in her good
graces. I
caught up with her and she turned to face me, "All of
you boys are
nothing but goddamned pigs. Just get away from me"
and she turned and
ran away.


When I got back to the car Billy was between Mary's legs
and she was
screaming, "Yes, yes, fuck me, fuck me." Sally
was leaning over the
seat watching while Bobby was fucking her from behind.
When I got in
the car the dome light came on and Billy hollered out, "Turn
off the
fucking light damn it!" I was just a little pissed
at Nancy for
calling me a pig when I hadn't ever anything to her and
when Billy
hollered it pissed me off even more and I did something that
none of
them had ever seen before - I got mad!


"Fuck you! It's my car and my light and if I want
to turn it on I will
and if you don't like it get your ass outside and do your
fucking on
the ground."


I saw Bobby smile and I heard Sally giggle and Mary said,
"Just shut the
fuck up Billy and fuck me."


The two couples managed to get their rocks off and then they
settled in
to watch the movie. Within ten minutes they were necking
again and
within twenty they were fucking again. Sally and Bobby
finished and were sitting there smooching when the movie
ended and the lights came
on. Mary and Billy were still going at it when all of a sudden
I heard
Mary cry out, "No god damn it, no. I'm almost there.
Finish me Billy,
finish me, " but Billy had shot his wad and he climbed
off of Her while
she called him every dirty name she could think off. By that
time the
lot was almost empty and the help were starting to come out
of the
building and chase cars away so I started up and drove off.
We dropped
Sally off first and then Billy told me to drop him next.


"I ain't got to take her home and listen to her
whine all the way, " he
said of Mary.


I dropped him off and we had no sooner pulled away from the
front of his
house than Bobby climbed over the seat and got in back with
Mary. One
block later he was fucking her and she was crying, "Get
me off baby,
get me off, make me cum." By the time I got to Bobby's
place he had
done the job and was sitting there with a smile on his face
while Mary
stayed on her back with a contented look on her face.


She was still lying on the back seat when we pulled away from
Bobby's.
When I stopped for the stop sign on the corner Mary sat up
and asked,
"Davy, are you still a virgin?" I hemmed and
hawed and she said, "You
can tell me Davy. It isn't a crime and all of us were at
one time." I
admitted that I still had my cherry and she said, "Would
you like to
fuck me Davy?" I didn't answer her - I was too tongue-tied
- I was
caught flat-footed by her question. "Of course you
would. If you will
do something for me Davy I'll let you fuck me. You can
even fuck me
twice because I know the first one will be pretty quick.
Would you
like to do that Davy? Would you like to fuck me tonight?"



I croaked out a yes and she told me where to drive and park.
"All you
have to do to fuck me Davy, is eat my pussy."


"I can't do that."


"Why not?"


"Because Bobby and Billy have been there."



"Trust me Davy, it won't kill you and you might
even like it."


"Oh man, that's gross."


"Oh come on Davy, it's your best chance to get
rid of your virginity.
Tell you what; you do it and I'll let you fuck me as many
times as you
can get it up. Come on baby, do Mary this favor. If you do a
really
nice job of it maybe we can go out on a couple of dates. Wouldn't
you
like that Davy? Wouldn't you like to date me and maybe
fuck me?"


Well, I was desperate to get laid and so I let Mary talk me
into
climbing into the back seat with her. She instructed me
in how she
wanted it done and I was surprised when I did it and it didn't
make me
want to leap out of the car and heave in the bushes. I didn't
really
care for the taste, but what I did like was the way that Mary

responded. She grabbed my head and pulled my face into her
pussy and
she went wild. She bucked, she pushed her muff up at me and
she
screamed - actually screamed - "Oh God yes Davy, don't
stop, please God
don't stop. Eat me you beautiful cunt licker, oh sweet
Jesus you are
good." She shook, she moaned, she made sharp little
cries and her body
seemed to spasm. I found out later that I had eaten her to
an orgasm.
When she was done she looked up at me with a look of wonder
on her face
and said, "It was really your first time? You really
never ate pussy
before?"


I told her no, that I was a virgin in all areas.


"You have a God given talent baby. No one has ever made
me cum just by
eating my pussy, no one! Oh baby, am I going to rock your world

tonight."


My first time was embarrassingly quick, but my fist blowjob
brought me
back up in a hurry. My second time was a little better and
my first
sixty-nine got me my first taste of myself and another hard
on. I
fucked Mary three more times that night before she couldn't
bring me to
life again and she asked me to eat her after each time. When
I dropped
her at her house at oh dark thirty she spent five minutes
kissing me
good night and as she got out of the car she said, "You're
mine from
now on Davy. See you tonight after school."


I did see Mary after school the next day and so began one of
the
weirdest relationships I've ever seen. Mary and I
became a somewhat
steady couple. I say "somewhat" because Mary
never gave up the other
guys she was seeing. Mary was a slut. She had shown me that
the night
she took on both Billy and Bobby and Mary loved cock. Mary
also loved
the wicked feeling she got when she had me eat her pussy after
another
guy had fucked her. Maybe three nights a week she would go
out with
another guy and fuck him to death and when he dropped her
off at home
she would walk around to the ally behind her house where
I would be
waiting for her. She would squeal in delight as I cleaned
her pussy
out with my mouth and then she would fuck my eyes out until
I couldn't
get it up anymore. On the nights that she wasn't out
with other guys
she was with me


Everyone wondered why one of the most popular girls in the
school spent
so much time with me. Several of her girl friends even asked
her what
she saw, "In that dork." Mary never did give
any of her friends the
answer to that question and once I asked her why. "If
I told them
about your special talent baby I'd have to fight them
all to keep them
away from you."


"Is that all I am to you - a mouth?"


"Why baby, isn't it enough? Isn't what you
have now 500% more than you
had before I discovered what you can do?"


"Yeah but..."


"No buts baby. Face it, you aren't a real prize.
You're a nice enough
guy, but you are not all that attractive. Time will get rid
of the
pimples, but until you do something about your weight you
won't be a
catch for anyone, at least not anyone who doesn't know
about your
special talent. I'm seeing to it that you are one of
the best fucked
guys in school. Take what you have Davy and be happy for it."



She was right and I knew it, but it still hurt that she was
so damned
honest about it.


And then it was over. Mary received a scholarship to UCLA,
but before
she left for California she wanted one last night with me.
Her parents
were gone for the weekend and she asked me to stop by her house
at
eight. I got there to find Mary in the middle of a gangbang.
She had
seven guys there and as I watched they all took turns on her
for three
hours and that doesn't count what happened before
I got there. About
half an hour after I got there one of the guys said, "Come
on Davy,
it's your turn."


Mary said, "No, Davy gets his turn later. He is going
to spend the
night with me and I want him fresh."


That set up a chorus of "What's so special about
him" and things were
said like, "It sure aint his cock. I've seen him
in the locker room
and he's nothing special." There were a lot more
comments along those
lines and then Mary said, "He is so special. He can
make me scream and
none of you guys have ever done that."


That got the guys going even more and I was starting to feel
real
uncomfortable and I was getting ready to split. Mary saw
and knew what
I was going to do.


"Davy, you don't have to if you don't want
to, but please baby, one more
time for me, please?"


I really didn't want to because I knew those guys and
I knew what would
happen, but the plea in Mary's voice made me say yes.
I stripped and
did what Mary loved more than anything else and she screamed
and
screamed her way through two orgasms and then she said,
"Okay Davy
baby, fuck me, fuck me hard and show them how it's done."



Either Mary was one great actress or their was something
special about
what was happening that night because she screamed and
hollered as I
fucked her and she bucked and bounced in a way that she hadn't
for any
of the others. When I was done she pushed me into a sixty-nine
until I
was hard and then she pulled me on top of her and we did it all
over
again. When I came the second time she said, "Let the
others back in
lover. I've got all night to take care of you."



The gangbang lasted until one in the morning and then Mary
and I were
alone. We fucked until I could not get it up anymore and Mary
and I
fell asleep in each other's arms. She left the following
Monday and I
never saw her again.


What I had known would happen happened. The guys who were
at the
gangbang spread the word about what I have done and pretty
soon
everyone was casting glances at me. The fallout was mixed,
some good,
some bad, some very good and some very, very bad. The worse
was when
some guys called me a closet queen, that I sucked cum out
of a pussy
because I was too scared to suck a cock. Other guys said that
I was
"one sick puppy" to have done what I did. The
other side of the coin
was the attention I got from the girls. I got more 'come
ons' than I
could believe, but I had a problem. Remember when I said
I was
inordinately shy? I got the come ones but I lacked the guts
to make a
move. After about a month one of the girls figured it out
on her own
and one day she came up to me and said, "Is what I've
heard about you
and Mary Koslowski true?" I nodded a yes. "I'm
free tonight, are
you?" From then on I had a steady stream of girl friends
until I moved
to Georgia to take a job.


Time did chase the pimples away and I finally did work up
enough will
power to lick my weight problem. I met and fell in love with
Angie and
we were married. We had three kids and lived your typical
suburban
life and things were perfect until Angie went to her class
reunion. We
couldn't get a baby sitter and so I had to stay home and
watch the
kids. Angie flew out on a Thursday and flew back home Sunday
evening
and when the kids and I picked her up at the airport I sensed
something
different about her. Nothing obvious, but something.
That night she
was eager to get to bed after we put the kids to bed and she
was an
absolute tiger. Our sex life has always been good, but that
night it
was great. Angie kept after me until I just could not answer
the call
again. As I lay next to her panting for breath I asked, "What
got into
you tonight? Did one of your old boyfriends get you all hot
and horny
at the reunion?"


"Something like that."


"I don't suppose you would care to expound on
that?"


"Well, I did have a few cocks poked into my leg on the
dance floor and I
did get a few pretty heavy hits from some of my old beaus.
I won't lie
to you lover; I did get pretty close to giving it up to my old
steady
boyfriend - he's the one who got my cherry - but at the
very last
second I backed away. You might have never known, but then
again you
might have found out and I wasn't going to take a chance
on losing you
over a fling with an old boyfriend."


"That's it? You're horny because you almost
got laid?"


"No sweetie, that isn't it. Does the name Mary
Brenner ring a bell?"


"No, I can't say that it does."


How about her maiden name, Mary Koslowski?"


"Oh yes, I knew a Mary Koslowski."


"Pretty well from what I gathered."


"We going to dance around this or are you going to tell
me what this is
all about?"


"Did I ever mention Jerry Brenner?"


"Not that I recall."


"Jerry and I grew up next door to each other and we were
in the same
grade from second grade all the way through high school.
When I got to
the reunion I saw Jerry and there were empty seats at his
table so I
joined him. He introduced me to his wife Mary and when she
heard my
last name she said she used to date a Mitchell when she lived
in Kansas
City. I told her that you were from Kansas and she asked if
your name
was Davy by any chance. When I said that it was she laughed
and
commented on what a small world that it was. For the rest
of the
evening I got the feeling that she was watching me - appraising
me in
some way. It was after Todd, my old boyfriend, and I had returned
from
the dance floor after some hot and heavy petting that she
said, "Do you
do that often?"


"What?"


"Have other men and then take Davy home some desert?"



"I don't know what you are talking about."



"Oh well, maybe Davy has changed. It's nothing.
Forget I even brought
it up."


"Well you know me sweetie, wave something like that
in front of me and
I'm after it like a dog after a bone. I waited until she
went to the
bathroom and I followed her. We were alone and so I kept pushing
at her
until she told me about what the two of you used to do. She
saw the
way I was acting with Todd and she just knew I was going to
fuck him
and she had wondered if I did it often and then took the cream
pie home
to you. Did you really eat her pussy after other guys had
used her?"


"I'm afraid so" I said and then I told Angie
the story of how it got
started.


"She said you could actually make her scream."



"Yeah, well, Mary was different. Her greatest turn
on was for me to eat
her after she'd been out playing with someone else.
I'm not so sure
that it was anything that I did that made her scream as much
as it was
the idea of what I was doing."


"Did you really do it after a gangbang?"


"Yeah. It was the last time, just before she left for
UCLA."


"How come I never knew that about you?"


"Because you are not a slut my love, and also for the
same reason I
didn't know that it was a Todd that took your cherry.
You and I have
never talked about what we did before we got married. I wonder
if
marriage has changed Mary any."


"In what way?"


"She was a slut honey. Anyone, anytime, any place
and she wasn't all
that particular when it came to how many guys were there.
I wonder if
she has changed and if not, what kind of relationship she
might have
with this Jerry."


"Why?"


"No reason, just curious. But that aside, what was
it about Mary and
your talk with her that made you such a sexual dynamo tonight?"



"You won't laugh or get pissed at me?"


"No, of course not."


"The picture of you at a gangbang eating her pussy
after all those guys
had her just lit me off."


"You can't be serious."


"Oh but I am sweetie. Just the thought of you eating
her pussy after
someone else fucked her drove me wild."


"Why? I eat your pussy after we have made love and that's
the same
thing."


"No it isn't sweetie, not by a long shot. That's
just you in there, not
seven other guys and that's the thought that turned
me on."


Things changed after that, at least as far as our sex life
was
concerned. We went from two or three nights a week to five
or six and
where I only used to eat Angie's pussy after we made
love occasionally
now she wanted me to do it all the time. Hey, I like my sex as
much as
the next guy so I was going to complain? Not hardly, but I'm
not
stupid; I knew what was going on. Angie was imagining Mary
and me and
it was turning her on. I suppose I should have given more
thought to
it than I did, but I didn't. I thought she would get over
it in time,
but after three months Angie was still going strong.


And then suddenly, virtually over night, Angie turned
moody on me.
Tuesday night she fucked me like a woman possessed, but
on Wednesday
she pushed me away. Thursday we made love, but it wasn't
the frenzied
coupling of the previous three months. We went back to having
sex
twice a week, but only once a night instead of the three or
four we had
been doing and she wouldn't let me eat her pussy anymore.
She became
quiet around me and once in a while I would catch her looking
at me and
as soon as our eyes would meet she would avert her gaze. This
went on
for a couple of weeks and I don't know how much longer
it might have
gone on had I not come home from work an hour early one day
to find her
lying on our bed and crying. I sat down on the bed next to her
and
asked her what was wrong as I reached out and touched her
face. She
gave a loud sob and turned away from me.


"I don't want to talk about it."


"You have to Angie. Something has been bothering
you for weeks now and
it is affecting our relationship and I want to know what
it is. We
can't fix it if I don't know what is wrong."



"It can't be fixed. It is too late for that."



"Nonsense baby, anything can be fixed."


"Not now. Not now Davy. We can talk later when I'm
not so weepy."


"Okay Angie, but I'm going to hold you to it. I'll
expect you to talk
to me before we go to bed tonight."


I went downstairs and started dinner. Angie didn't
come down so I fixed
her a plate and put it in the microwave and then I did the dinner

dishes. I helped the kids with their homework, watched
some TV with
them and then put them to bed. I sat down on the couch and started

watching CNN and I was watching some twit babble about the
prospects
for peace in the middle east when Angie came into the room.
She sat
down in the easy chair across from the couch which in itself
was not a
good sign since she had always preferred to sit next to me
because she
liked to touch and be touched while we read, watched TV or
talked. I
picked up the remote and shut off the TV and waited.


She was red-eyed from crying and she kept glancing nervously
around the
room - anything to keep from having to meet my eyes. Finally
I broke
the silence, "Whatever it is Angie, it can't
be so bad that we can't do
something about it. Just spit it out and get it over with."



She looked down at the floor, took a deep breath and then
still looking
away from me she said, "It can't be fixed Davy.
I've been stupid,
totally stupid and I've ruined my life and maybe yours.
I've trashed
our marriage. I've taken everything good that we had
and I've shit all
over it because of a dumb, crazy obsession."


"Oh come on Angie, it can't be that bad."



"Oh yes it can Davy. I've lied to you, I've
deceived you and I've
cheated on you, and all because of a stupid, stupid fantasy."



I sat there, totally stunned by what Angie had just said.
Angie had
cheated on me? That was inconceivably, just totally inconceivable.
I
started to say something, but Angie cut me off.


"Just let me get it out Davy, then you can call me a whore
and throw me
out, but let me get this over with first."


It had started with her class reunion and her talk with Mary
Brenner.
She had come home with the image of me sucking the cum of other
men out
of Mary and that image was a super turn on for her. The more
she
thought about it the hotter she got and the more she wanted
sex.
Gradually the image changed from Mary and me to Angie and
me. Angie
began to fantasize about me eating her pussy after some
other man had
fucked her. Over the next month or so the fantasy grew from
me eating
one man out of her to my eating two. Then it was three, four
and
finally the seven men from a gangbang. The fantasy was so
strong and
powerful that Angie was fucking herself with a dildo while
she waited
for me to get home.


On Tuesday nights Angie plays bridge with several of her
girlfriends and
one night one of the girls asked Angie to give her a ride to
the bar
where she was supposed to meet her boyfriend. Angie went
inside to
have a drink with Becky and she was introduced to Becky's
boyfriend
Harry. Harry had a friend with him and Angie's one drink
turned into
several and when Harry's friend asked her to dance
she had gotten up
and moved out onto the dance floor with him. She wasn't
surprised when
she felt his erection poke into her leg, but she had been
surprised at
the thought that had entered her mind. She could fuck him
and then
come home to me and actually see what it would be like to have
me suck
another man's cum out of her. As fast as the idea had
entered her mind
she had chased it away. But a couple of more drinks and a couple
of
more dances and the thought was back.


She had excused herself to go to the bathroom and Becky got
up to go
with her.


"He thinks you're hot" Becky said.


"What?"


"Jim. He thinks you're hot. He'd fuck you
if you gave him a chance."


"You can't be serious."


Oh yes I am. Your back seat, his back seat, a motel room - he
would do
you in a heartbeat."


"Honestly Becky, I'm a happily married woman
and I don't run around on
Dave. Besides, Jim is just a baby. He's what, twenty-five
or so? I'm
a thirty-eight year old woman."


"You are a hot looking woman sweetie and age has nothing
to do with it.
He's yours if you want him."


Two more drinks, another dance and Angie was in Jim's
car on the back
seat with her legs kicking in the air as Jim pounded his cock
into her.




"As soon as it was over guilt took charge and all the
way home I cursed
myself for being a stupid fool, but the closer I got to home
the more I
thought that I had another man's cum in me and I would
soon be home and
you and I would go to bed and make love and then you would eat
me. I
got all tingly when I thought that and by the time I was in
the house I
was so hot that I would have fucked a parking lot full of Jims.
I
climbed into bed with you and the sex was so intense and satisfying

that I didn't think of anything else. Then, after we
had both
climaxed, I started to panic. What if you could tell when
you tasted
me? I was going to get up and run for the bathroom, but you
were too
quick for me and as soon as your tongue touched me the panic
fled and I
had another orgasm. At that point I didn't care if you
would know or
not, all I wanted was for you to eat my pussy and suck Jim's
leavings
out of me. I had three orgasms while you lapped up his sperm,
each
more intense that the last. I didn't start to feel guilty
again until
after you fell asleep and then I lay awake all night with
my thoughts
alternating between guilt and the pleasure that I had just
enjoyed. I
spent the rest of the week swearing that I would never, ever
do
anything that stupid again."


The next Tuesday I again drove Becky over to the bar. Jim
was there
with Harry and that night we didn't waste any time on
drinks or
dancing. Ten minutes after I got there I was on my back on
his back
seat and he sent me home to you with four loads of his juice
in my
pussy. You fucked me and then ate me and I came so many times
that
night that I fell asleep totally exhausted. I woke up in
the morning
ashamed of myself and feeling intense guilt over what I
was having you
do and I promised myself that it would never happen again,
but the next
Tuesday I was at the bar and in Jim's car again. He fucked
me three
times and then got up to go back into the bar and use the bathroom.
I
was lying there on the back seat with my eyes closed finger
fucking
myself and dreaming about the way I was going to feel when
I got home
to you when Jim came back and slid his cock in only it wasn't
Jim.
Harry and Becky had had a fight and Becky had caught a cab
home. Harry
was already in me and pounding away so there wasn't
much I could do
about it. Half way through his fucking me I thought about
your first
time with Mary and how you had eaten her after the two boys
had fucked
her and I stared to get hot thinking about how I was going
to be able
to experience the same thing. Between Jim and Harry I had
seven loads
of cum in me when I came home that night and I was going crazy
between
thinking how intense the sex was going to be and how I couldn't

possibly get what I had done past you. I panicked when you
commented
on how wet I was and I was surprised as hell when you accepted
my
explanation that I was so wet because I had been hot for you
all day.
My orgasms that night were so strong that I almost passed
out. The
next morning I was so guilt ridden that I couldn't hold
food down and I
wretched all day and swore to God that I would put an end to
what I was
doing.


"But as the days went by and I thought about how it felt
to have so many
mind-blowing orgasms my resolve slipped and the following
Tuesday I
skipped bridge and met Jim and Harry at a motel and the two
of them
fucked me for five hours. The sex with you that night was
everything
that I had hoped for, but I was still so keyed up that I had
to use my
dildo on myself after you fell asleep. The next day the guilt
was back
in spades and everything I ate for the next three days I tossed
up. I
wasn't able to eat, I couldn't sleep, I was an absolute
mess, but by
Friday I was looking forward to Tuesday. Tuesday I skipped
bridge
again and met Jim and Harry at the motel only that time they
had a
friend with them and then the Tuesday after that it was two
friends and
then it was four and then five.


"I can't explain it Davy, I honestly can't
explain what came over me.
It had nothing to do with my love for you; you are still my
whole
world. It was all me. I couldn't have cared less about
those
dickheads that were fucking me. They were all of them just
a means to
an end. All I thought about was what you did with Mary and
how I
wanted to experience the same things. I don't know,
maybe I thought
that she had a part of you and that I needed to take back from
her and
the only way to do it was outdo her. Three weeks ago I got to
the
motel and found nine men waiting for me. I took one look and
then I
turned and ran. Since then I have stayed home and tried to
be a good
wife to you, but I'm dying inside. Sure, I've lived
my fantasy, but at
the cost of my self respect. I've blown my wedding vows
all to hell
and the worst of it is that I used you. I let you suck the cum
of
strangers out of me with no thought other than my own sexual

gratification. Don't misunderstand me here Dave,
when I was in bed
with you I was making love to you, not fucking, it is just
that...shit!
I don't know what it was. It was part fantasy and part
wanting to
have as much of you as Mary had. What I ended up being was what
you
called her - a slut! I'm a fucking whore Dave and it is
killing me to
know that I did it to myself and that I've ruined my life.
I hope I
haven't ruined yours Dave. I know you'll hate
me now, but believe me
Dave, you can't possibly hate me more than I hate myself."



She started crying again and she got up and ran back up to
the bedroom.


I wish I could say that I ran up the stairs after her, took
her in my
arms and told her that I still loved her, and that everything
would be
all right. but I can't. I couldn't bring myself
to even touch her
after that and after a month of drifting farther and farther
apart I
packed up and moved out. I've seen a lawyer and the divorce
is in the
works. When I pick the kids up on the weekends Angie stays
out of
sight. The kids don't understand what's going
on and they are too
young for me to tell them and even if I could, how could I make
them
understand when I don't understand it myself.

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