lac7942 63 / M
"Are you going to love it??....or are you going to list it??..."
Orland Park, Illinois, United States
 
Gold Member
Last Visit: Yesterday
Member Since: April 23, 2003

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Status
lac7942 63/M
Orland Park, Illinois
Introduction
DICTIONARY FOR WOMANS PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No breasts
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - Bitch
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

As I watched her walk away..I realized what a terrific person she was and how much fun it was just knowing her and I thought of that old joke..this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, my brother's crazy. He thinks he's a chicken"..and the Doctor says.."Well why don't you turn him in?"...and the guy says.."I would, but I need the eggs."..Well,I guess that's pretty much how I feel about relationships. You know, they're totally irrational and crazy and absurd...but I guess we keep goin' through it because... most of us need the eggs...lines from a great movie in the 70's

My Ideal Person Sense of Humor...ability to laugh in the bedroom...understands why guys love the movie.."Caddyshack"..and accepts it...

What are your favorite musicians or bands?:
see topics plus many more

What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Receiving Oral Sex, Singing, Laughing

What factors are most important to you when looking for a sexual partner?:
Sexual experience, Physical attraction, Ability to be discreet, Sexual appetite, Willingness to freely discuss and try anything, Creativity/Kinkiness level, A little of each, Not making me pull over to ask directions if we get lost

Ever fantasized about having sex with a celebrity? Who? What turns you on about them?:
In my mind???...Anna Kornikova....in reality????MiMi from the Drew Cary Show...

Have you ever had cybersex?:
I've tried it, but it's just not the same.

View more of lac7942's responses

Information
  • 63 / male
  • Orland Park, Illinois, United States
Sexual Orientation:
Straight
Looking For:  Women
Birthdate: May 1, 1955
Marital Status: Single
Height: 6 ft 2 in / 187-190 cm
Body Type: A little extra padding
Smoking: I'm a non-smoker
Drinking: I'm a light/social drinker
Race: Caucasian
Speaks: English