capo0612 55 / M
"I grew a beard. .I loAnyone want to sit on my does anyone answer emails anymore ?"
75056, Texas, United States
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capo0612 55/M
75056, Texas
yes I have a beard... im happy with it too
thank you for visiting and hope you find some of this humurous..

1. I'm a dirty old bald guy. Accept it. I have, in fact i'm embracing it now as i've worked toward this moment my whole life.

2. I will never buy a motorcycle during my midlife crisis. Those damn things are dangerous and knowing my luck i will be the first one killed. I also will not get stupid tribal art tattoos or piercings of anything on my body. I don't have anything against tattoos but i'm not gettin one.

3. I like to drink and have weird sex. Sometimes i'm drunk enough i just think i had sex. That works too.

4. I fart when i cum. Its like a rodeo, when a cowboy is on a bull the buzzer sounds after 8 seconds. This lets the bull know that he is through and the cowboy that he must dismount as the ride is over. The bull keeps bucking though because he has a rope around his nuts and it bothers him. Same 8 seconds, I will cum and fart. This is a signal that the ride is over and i will be making a fancy dismount. If u came great..if're too damn slow. I will keep pumping though as I am probably drunk and still think i have a hard on and my balls are probably in a bind.

5. I'm not friendly but i am Jack daniels and wild turkey friendly. I will drink you under a table. I'm a very happy drunk.

6. I am a single male... That is a hot commidity around here. We are rare and valued like a penny by the fake profiles.

7. If you leave your lingerie laying around I will try it on and look damn sexy in it...damn sexy. There is nothing sexier than a drunk guy dressed in women's lingerie. For you smart asses who reply that they dont' wear underwear... I look just as good in your stockings, garter, etc.. Please, no granny panties...they make my butt look big.

My Ideal Person 1. I would like to find a play partner.....female. I prefer she be hwp if possible if not she must have a pleasant personality and reasonably intelligent. I'm quiet so if she talks that is okay. I go more for women with some meat on there bones so that if i need to hang on to something or slap some ass...i see some jiggle, not break my hand on there ass bone. Of course i'm a single male which makes me desperate according to some people.

2. Would like her to live close but i like playing in Houston or Dallas as its great fun and there dont' seem to be as many rednecks.

3. This female will be around anything weird, spankings, anal, cooter luvins, and a drunk dirty old bald guy who will violate there every orifice every oppurtunity. I may or may not remember these sessions so its gonna get wild. Cooter may be shaved or un shaved. Bonus points if your penticostal or amish.....those hairy, bun headed babes give me a hard on every time. You move to the front of the line if your an unshaved amish midget.

4. When I show up at their house they must open the door and be naked with a drink in there hand.

5. Must not be crazy. If your not sure if your crazy, you probably are. I have the crazy position sewn up and there is only room for one.

6. Must want to be snotty to other couples and single males... just cause we're supposed too. We will go on the lifelong quest for the elusive unattached bi-fem because we think for some reason since I only last for 8 seconds that I need two women in the room to prove my manhood. I dont' understand it either.

Hope you found some of this funny.. would love to hear from you.

  • 55 / male
  • 75056, Texas, United States
Sexual Orientation:
Looking For:  Women, Couples (man/woman), Groups or Couples (2 women)
Birthdate: February 1, 1963
Hometown: Austin, Texas
Marital Status: Single
Height: 5 ft 9 in / 175-177 cm
Body Type: A little extra padding
Smoking: I'm a cigar/pipe smoker
Drinking: I'm a light/social drinker
Education: BA/BS (4 years college)
Race: Caucasian
Speaks: English