We post a little about us, attach some photos of the goods, and then you guys bid, right? Here's what you're getting: We have bankrupted friends in our life; squeezing them for every last dollar, despite rolling in cash ourselves. We have also been to jail, run a chain of hotels, owned high-stakes in utility companies, invested heavily in railroads, and won second prize in countless beauty contests. ... And that was just one game of Monopoly. Think what the rest of our life must be like!! There are a few more things you need to know about us right up-front: About Him: He is really good with numbers and will totally do your taxes ;) (That was sexual). He tends to stare a lot. Not because he's rude or has special needs, but because he's genuinely interested in how some people have managed to live so long. He likes his music loud, and his NPR boring. He has a deep-seated belief that if you work hard and believe in yourself, ANY pizza can be a personal pizza. He is unbelievably sexy in dim lighting. About Her: She is passionate about midgets. Finding them, catching them, feeding them, caring deeply for them, and racing them. If you could describe her in one word, it would be extremelyhot. As a professional courtesy, she is willing to lie about how we all met, and how good you are in bed. Large amounts of facial hair make her pussy dry. So does "man-bush".

My Ideal Person Game-night is our passion. We LOVE 'Cards Against Humanity' and we will not fuck you unless you at least pretend to like it, too. (It's okay if you don't know what it is, we will teach you, ever so gently). We have a great place for entertaining.. nestled in the mountains.. hot-tub, pool table, fireplace.. etc. We love to host after the kids are in bed.

We are very easy to talk to in social settings. Either of us can hold a conversation about whatever you'd like (especially when the conversation inevitably steers towards midget-bartering.. you'll never get her to shut up). We're really into "Friends with Benefits". Our perfect date is to meet up for drinks and see how everyone is clicking. If we've got four green lights, come back to our place (or your place) for some naked hot-tub time while we talk about foreign policy….or do naughty things to each other.. either way… and then hopefully we remain good friends forever more!

We like to take a trip somewhere fun one weekend a month.. Vegas, Wendover, etc.. hit us up if you wanna tag along!

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