WillyWonderWand 63 / M
"If you don't understand satire, don't respond. If you do, then let's talk & go from there. Sheesh"
Auburn, Washington, United States
Standard Member
Last Visit: Within the last 3 days

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WillyWonderWand 63/M
Auburn, Washington
I have a bar code tattooed on my forehead & a GPS chip installed in my spike collared Prince Albert so anyone nosy enough to need to know can see where it's been. (Joke, my email {denizen_ken at ho*m**l d*t c*m} is tattooed on my forehead)

Ahem, how nosy are you? Hmmm?


I make a really good living as a sub-contractor scraping the dried gum, (& other disgusting stuff ) off of the gnarly undersides of church pews.

I set my own hours which is why you may see me doing this during church services.

Because I'm a wild & busy guy, when we meet, you may actually be talking & flirting with my professional stand-in who will then hand you over to me if things start to get interesting.
On the other hand if it's me you meet first and I hand you over to him, you will know things have not gone well.

My Ideal Person Female is good. Human female is even better. I'm looking for an open person. Open mind, open arms, open legs...

Tell one of your favorite sexual fantasies. Don't hold back!:
Sheesh One of my favorite sexual fantasies involves holding back.
Gimme a break here.

What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Thigh nibbling., Face into clit planting.

What factors are most important to you when looking for a sexual partner?:
That they want to have sex too.

Ever fantasized about having sex with a celebrity? Who? What turns you on about them?:
Yeah. <br><br>
SpongeBob SquarePants. <br><br>
Because I wouldn't have to actually get out of bed to
clean myself afterwards.

Have you ever had cybersex?:
I've tried it, but it's just not the same.

View more of WillyWonderWand's responses

  • 63 / male
  • Auburn, Washington, United States
Sexual Orientation:
Looking For:  Women
Birthdate: August 8, 1954
Relocate?: No
Marital Status: Separated
Height: 5 ft 9 in / 175-177 cm
Body Type: Average
Smoking: I'm a non-smoker
Drinking: I'm a light/social drinker
Drugs: I don't use drugs
Education: Some college
Occupation: Orifice occupier.
Race: Caucasian
Religion: Not applicable
Have Children: Yes. We sometimes live together.
Want Children: Happy with what I have
Male Endowment: Long/Thick
Circumcised: Yes
Speaks: English, French, Greek, Russian, Pillow
Hair Color: Brown
Hair Length: Receding
Eye Color: Brown
Glasses or Contacts: Either