Tell you about me.....hmmm....so, I've got the attention span of a squirrel. Ever come across a squirrel in the middle of your lane? You're telling her to get out of the way and at last minute she runs to the side of the road, changes her mind and runs half way to the opposite side, realizes the nuts are bigger on the tree we were just at so goes to dart back to the other side but stops right where she started in the middle of the lane and before she can move again you're yelling "damn it" as her little body thuds under your tire and topples to the side of the road. That is me in a nut shell (no pun intended). You have about 30 seconds to turn me on and convince me to stay put or I'm road kill. I have two moods - to clarify - to sexual moods. Make love to me today but just fuck me tomorrow. Yes, you must be a mind reader for us to jive. If you get me to scream - and I mean loud moaning and groaning with a few "oh god baby, YES" - then chances are I'm faking it and you should just hurry up and get off of me. However, if I grab on tight and say "don't stop" - for the love of god honey, DON'T STOP! Don't switch positions, don't slow down, don't speed up, do not even come up for air - seriously, do not stop! If you do stop, and I'm sure you will, just let me know when you're done. Because at that point I'm realizing I only have 5 hours of sleep in front of me, I'm planning my day ahead, writing a grocery list, smell smoke and I'm wondering if my renters insurance is up to date, and I'm re-writing this profile trying to attract the next man who thinks he's got what it takes to tame my bat shit crazy self. You're laughing - but I'm serious as a heart attack. If you're "dream" girl is a little stick figure parading on the beach with jugs the size of watermelons than I definitely don't fit the bill. I'm a 6', 220 lb, gigantor of a beast with itty bitty boobies and, yes, I wear jeans and a tshirt to the beach. Ok, that's not entirely true but at least you're smiling. I am a single mom (and I like it that way). I have 4 agers, 5 dogs, 3 cats, and a full time plus some job. I go to bed around 1 AM and I'm making breakfast at 6:30. I'll make time for you if you'll make time for me but, please, make it worth my effort. I'm inexperienced. There's a lot I don't like. If you'll learn what I thrive on, I'll learn what you thrive on. It's a give and take. Some sessions you'll love, some I will, hopefully there will be some we both do. And maybe we can even become friends.