[SIZE 4][COLOR darkblue]Yeah, you know you had to see what this ad was about... It's about [COLOR red]the other side of the bed[/COLOR]. It hasn't been used much has it? For the low cost of an email this problem can be fixed. [COLOR blue][SIZE 6][B]Imagine it now![/B][/COLOR] A live man to [I]fill-up[/I] that unused space.[/SIZE][/COLOR] [/SIZE] [SIZE 2][COLOR orange][I]Please Note: All text, pictures, video, and other related media are sole property of the listed account holder. Any other use is expressly forbidden without written consent. Besides, everyone who knows me knows that I am a kinky, freaky, sex machine. So it's not gonna be a shock to anyone.[/I][/COLOR][/SIZE] :P

Ma personne idéale : Please note that I am interested in women and transgendered women (living fully as a woman and completely passable) and submissive.

Otherwise, female, and just as twisted as me.

Life in the Discount Aisle

Life is like a discount store and I am in the aisle amongst the ratty old and returned packages long lost and best left forgotten. You are probably somewhere in housewares- typically something pretty, yet functional.

In my day I was normally picked up and then usually dumped off. Gifted and re-gifted throughout the ages until alas I found myself on the bottom shelf of this disused and undervalued aisle. Granted the packaging is torn open and it's obvious that I've been used. Don't let that dissuade you from considering my plight.

I am unique, eclectic, and with out a doubt a one-of-a-kind. They simply don't make 'em like me anymore. I'm useful, still in pretty good shape for an late model, and I will clean up like new. I was designed with the kind of quality that is suitable for any decor.

A caveat though... I am not easy to figure out since someone lost the instructions long ago.


The Break-up

In order to facilitate a speedy and effective break-up I submit the following letter:

Dear (recipients name here),

This isn't going to work out. (Please circle reason/s below*)

1. There's always drama with you.
2. It's me, not you.
3. I cant stand- a. Your excessive drinking/drugs, b. Your chronic masturbation/sex addiction, c. Your lying, d. Your smell, e. Your ineptitude in bed, f. Other reason not specified.
4. My family said they would disown me for dating/marrying you.
5. I read your e-mail.
6. You read my e-mail.
7. You scare my friends/parents/dog/cat/houseplants.
8. Your parole/probation officer came by.
9. I'm going to join the peace corps/seminary/convent/foreign legion.
10. My husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend wants me back.

Sincerely,

(your name here)

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Sex, sex, sex, food, sex, sex, sex, do something, sex, sex while doing something else, calling in sick for sex, being late for sex, sex, sex, sex!!!

You know, sex, right?

Quel est l'endroit qui vous fait fantasmer pour une rencontre sexuelle ?:
Un lit, La plage, Un véhicule mobile (c'est-à-dire une voiture), Au milieu d'un parc, Une allée sombre, Un cinéma, Un endroit éloigné dans le désert, Sous une cascade, Mon bureau au boulot, Une piscine ou un jaccuzi, Une salle d'essayage d'un magasin, Un ascenseur, Une chambre d'hôtel

Quels types d'activités sexuelles vous excitent?:
Donner le sexe oral, Recevoir le sexe oral, Le sexe anal, Sado-masochisme, Jouets (vibrateurs/godemichés/etc.), Fétiches, La fessée, Jeux de rôles, La partouze, Esclave/Maître, Masturbation mutuelle, Faire des "films" maison, Participer dans une photographie érotique, Voyeurisme, Menottes/Chaînes, Torture de la poitrine/des mamelons, serre-joint, etc., Bander les yeux, Cuir, Massage

Avez-vous déjà fantasmé sur une célébrité ? Qui ? Qu'est-ce qui vous excitait ?:
Angelina Jolie, Lips, of course.

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