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Original Article

Rejection 101
by Lady Suzanne

How do we tell someone that we are not attracted to them? How does one handle a situation where a couple or single is showing interest in playing with you, but for whatever reasons, there is no attraction or chemistry? You like them socially, but not as prospective play partners. This situation happens a lot, and we are never quite prepared for it. I will state the obvious before I even get started … you know what the answer is. Not everyone is attracted to everyone else. Getting two people together can be tuff enough but add more, and wow, things can get sticky. Here are a few e-mails I rece

(View Full Article)




Comments

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Interesting. The main things to remember is that we are
here for our enjoyment and our partners enjoyment. We must
be true to that. If we do not want the full sexual relationship
with somone, we should not feel pressured into it. But everyone
deserves an answer of some sort, and not just be ignored.
Most people can handle the truth or semi truth for rejection,
but start having doubts about themselves when ignored.
Better to reject then ignore. As you keep stating "We
are all big boys and girls here".

cpj7 38 M
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This article gives great advice!

dmp24oh 45 M
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I really liked your comments "jbsatx99, 55 C!"
I like the thought that we are here for our enjoyment and
our partners enjoyment. We must be true to that. Great comments!

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God advise - Was interested to see the section on how to say
you're not interested. In my experience, not many
people do that. A shame really, as it is good to know why &
how you can change your approach.

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Fascinating and very true...there are some folks you like
to chat with, some folks that you want to do more with, and
some folks it just isn't going to work with. It can be
anything from the way they use a word to physical appearance
or even just the mysterious but very important "gut"
feeling.


Good advice. We try to be respectful and kind, but some folks,
sometimes need it put a bit more bluntly. Patience, kindness,
and finally just saying no thanks and not responding any
more is part of how it all ends up. Thanks for the insight.

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Great Article...

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Great Article and I do hope that there are more people like
Suzanne that tell you they are not interrested, saving
you time for not waiting to long.

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lady suzanne couldn't be more correct in following
the old addage that honesty is the best policy. one of the very first times i went to a swing club, i was so
overwhelmed w/prospective couples and single males wanting
to play that i felt absolutely harrassed. having not thought
about this scenario before attending, i was rather unprepared
on how i should handle the situation. what happened? i ended
up doing things i was not comfortable w/and as a result avoided
swinging situations for quite awhile. what i learned was,
only i am in charge of me and only i know what is comfortable
to me. i can't be mad at someone else for not being able
to read my mind. be honest. be firm. you shouldn't feel
obligated or required to play because someone is attracted
to you. and flirting and playing with someone does not obligate
you to sleep w/them. a new and enjoyable experience does
not always have to end in the bedroom. be grateful for
what a person is willing to share. not bitter about what
they are not willing to do.

nasa762 41 M
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Great Article...

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I am not a swinger, but I know good manners when I hear them.
The advice is this article is good. No one should feel obligatede
to sleep with someone who does not attract them, and attraction
is a chemical mystery that even the most brilliant scientists
can't seem to figure out!

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Great advice, to be polite & courteous goes a long way

lc2sm 116 C
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Wow, some good ideas fro replies. We are sometimes unsure
of how to go about saying no without hurting feelings. We like to be friends with cpls we play with first and foremost,
whether we play or not. So, I particularly liked the idea
fro saying you'd like to be friends but maybe not play.






B

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This article has fantastic information. It should be MANDATORY
reading for new membership. Thank you for the information.
Keep it coming.

Xanadu352 41 F
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Great article. If you're not interested wish them
good luck in whatever they do. It has a sense of finality
to it that will hopefully make them realize it's not
going any further.

rm_avorem2 46 M
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This is a very useful article. The etiquette of rejection
is a very complex and awkward subject, yet this article
deals with it in a clear, honest, and friendly manner. Kudos,
Lady Suzanne!

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Love the article. So true in many ways. JandL

joshman9sc 34 M
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good advice

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People should not go to couples just to get some and this
is especially for the males, because when it comes to pussy,
we can sometimes be assholes to get some. Not many couples
want single male partners either because their married
or just trying to be a player. If the couple do want a single
male, they are selective about it to see if the person has
a very good chemistry with the couple. Personally, I wouldn't
want to swing with a couple, because I would think that they
would have kids and if I had sex with the female and I knew
that was either her husband or boyfriend, plus I knew they
had kids, I would feel that I am an asshole, but that's
just my opinion. Moreover, the couples wants to enjoy a
good freindship, not no one night stand that ain't
worth shit to think about. So I agree with Suzanne.

rm_stan_j 36 M
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I think this is a good article. I truly believe that a message
needs to be returned even if you aren't interested.

luisfab 47 M
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Gran artículo

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Great article - very helpful

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hmmmm....yeah u never know when the chic that u broke up
for to get into this new relationship will end, so u may be
able to go back for stickage after....=P

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Very helpful, Thanks.

Duke_D4U 37 M
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Thanks!Great Article - ideed rejection and being rejected
is hard to handle - complicated even when doing recreational
sex...


Thanks to you its a bit better managable

mal4f4fun 56 M
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Great article, gives wonderful advice.

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Feeling alwasys let you keep which way to go.....Just be
polite and kind..They should understand

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I completely agree. I have run into way too many people on
here that really need to read interpret this article.

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great is all i can say

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You folks R so-o-o smart. Advice articles rule on AdultFriendFinder!

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yes great article thank you good advice

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I'm sure there was good advice somewhere
in the article, but I couldn't really tell where. The
layout made it very difficult to distinguish the emails
from your reply.


You can do much better.

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Great advice. I've had to let a few ppl down, that i just
wasn't into. My success rate is about 50/50. Some ended
well some not so well.

maxxx40 53 M
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great article.