Becoming a Slut Husband: Jerry (fm:adultery)

5/21/2006

I hit the post office on my way home from work and, as usual,
my box was
full of junk mail and bills. I leafed through them and dropped
most of
them in the trash can next to the table. Between the Visa
statement
and the Conoco bill was an enveloped addressed to me in the
flowing
handwriting I knew only too well. I'd been getting
one a month for
over a year. She had figured out that I was having my mail
forwarded
from the old address so she wrote and sent it there so it would
be
forwarded to me.


I met Pat at a wedding reception. A fellow I worked with got
hitched
and the entire office had been invited to the wedding. After
the
wedding everyone headed over to the VFW for the reception.
I'd been
there maybe an hour when this tall blonde walked in. She
was an
attention getter and she definitely got mine, but she was
with someone
so I put her out of my mind. Well, not completely out of my
mind. The
VFW hall wasn't all that big a place so she was almost
always in view.


Maybe another hour went by and I noticed that she seemed
to be getting
more and more upset with the man she was with. It was just
after the
bride and groom had cut the cake and I had gotten up to go to
the
bathroom. On the way I had to pass by the table where the blonde
was
sitting. Just as I reached the table I heard her say, "Bastard!"
As
loud as she said it it almost sounded as if it were directed
at me and
I turned to her and said:


"I beg your pardon?"

She blushed and said, "Not you, it's this worthless
lump that is my
date. All he does is drink. I've been trying to get him
out on the
dance floor since we got her, but all he has done is drink
and now the
clod has passed out on me. I guess I deserve it though, it's
what I
get for agreeing to a blind date."

Relieved to find out that she didn't consider me a bastard
I continued
on to the bathroom and then went back to the table I was sharing
with
some co-workers.


The next time the band started playing I glanced over at
her and saw her
watching the dancers on the floor and tapping her toes.
On a whim I
got up, went over to her and asked her to dance. She said yes
and that
was the start of a whirlwind romance that saw us married
three months
later.


Patricia Ann was a computer whiz and she worked for a large
corporation
as a Systems Administrator. She tried to explain what she
did to me,
but I am one of the computer illiterate so it all went over
my head. I
know how to turn mine on and click on the icon that takes me
to the Net
and that is the extent of my computer savvy. I make my living
as a
heavy equipment mechanic and I do pretty well at it and it
wasn't long
before the two of us had saved up enough to put a down payment
on a
house.


We had a great marriage; at least I thought we did. I was crazy
in love
with her and she certainly seemed to feel that way about
me. But in
the sixth year of our marriage something changed. When
it started I
couldn't pinpoint with any degree of certainty and
it could have been
going on for quite a while before I noticed. Patty had always
stopped
with the girls from work one night a week and she was usually
home by
nine. I didn't notice when it slipped to nine-thirty
and then ten and
then ten-thirty and it was only later that I thought back
to those
nights.


Patty started working late a couple of nights a week, usually
on Tuesday
and Thursday. She explained it away as an unexpectedly
large contract
that had critical due dates. They weren't geared for
such a large
order and until management made some decisions about which
way to go
everyone was being asked to work overtime on shipping dates
to get the
orders out.


"Decisions?" I asked, "What kind of decisions?"


"They want to make sure the contract is long term before
they invest in
more equipment and hire more people."

"How long is this supposed to go on?"

A couple of months maybe. I don't know for sure."


The couple of months had run to eight months before I started
bitching
about it and she always calmly responded with, "It
shouldn't be that
much longer baby. I know you don't like it and I don't
either. I'm
not all that fond of moving those shipping crates, but I
promised to
help."

And then one Wednesday night she called me and told me she
had to work
late that night also. "Ann was supposed to work tonight,
but she was
in an accident and is in the hospital so I have to cover for
her."

The next morning over breakfast I asked, "How is Ann?"


Patty looked at me confused and then suddenly she said,
"Ann, oh yes,
Ann. She's not good. They have her in traction. Both
legs and one
hip are broken and she is going to be off work for a while.
Poor girl
is having a hell of a run of bad luck. She went on vacation
with her
boyfriend and before it was over he told her he had found
someone else.
On the trip home the airline lost her luggage and now this
accident."

"So you are going to be working overtime on Wednesdays
now too?


"Yes, and maybe even a Friday or two."

It was about then I started to wonder about some things.
Up to that
point her working overtime was an irritant and that's
all I thought it
was - just a stupid bunch of incompetent managers who couldn't
get
their heads out of their asses and solve the problem. The
confusion on
her face when I asked about Ann started it. It was like she'd
told a
lie, forgotten it and then had to hurry and cover it. And
if that was
the case was she lying about having to work late? It was then
I thought
about the Wednesday nights spent with the girls from work
and how they
had gotten later and later. What was a computer type doing
moving
crates on a loading dock?


That Sunday is when it all came together for me. I was doing
routine
maintenance on Patty's car. I'd changed the oil,
added window washer
fluid and then I decided to rotate the tires while I was at
it. When I
opened the trunk of the car to take out the spare I found two

suitcases. Curious, I opened one and found it full of clothes.
The
other one was full of sexy lingerie, high heels and the like.
Heels
and lingerie that I had never seen before. I don't know
who Patty was
wearing them for, but it damned sure wasn't me. So much
for Patty
working overtime. There could only be one reason for several
changes of
clothes and all that sexy stuff being in her trunk and it
sure wasn't
work related.


I can be a little slow on the uptake at times, but I work real
hard at
not being stupid. I like to look at problems, roll them around
in my
mind, look at them from all angles and consider all my options
before
making up my mind on what to do. I finished the tire rotation,
closed
the trunk and went into the house determined to find out
more before
doing anything.


Because it was the holiday season and things were pretty
busy I decided
to put off following Pat and spying on her until after the
first of the
year. It turned out that I didn't have to wait that long.
Patty's
company Christmas party was on a Wednesday and she had been
looking
forward to it. At the last minute I had a job come up that was

probably going to prevent me from going with her. She was
upset (no,
that isn't right - she was pissed!) and she was raising
hell with me
and I didn't help anything when I shouted back at her:

"Now you know how I feel when you are working your damned
overtime."

I told her I would try and get done in time to at least make
an
appearance, but that didn't seem to mollify her at
all.


The day of the party I worked my ass off to try and get done
so I could
make it to the party. The party started at seven and by hustling
my
ass off I was able to finish the job, get home, shower and
change and
get to the party by nine. I walked in the door and the first
thing I
saw was Patty locked in an embrace and french kissing some
guy while
people were stomping their feet, banging their fists on
tables and
shouting out, "Get a room you two" and "Take
your affair to a motel." I turned and left without anyone even knowing I'd been
there.


On my drive home I tried to make a list things that could have
caused
her to go looking, but for the life of me I couldn't see
what it could
have been. I treated her like a queen for God's sake.
She wanted it,
I did my best to get it for her. I helped around the house.
I cooked
at least three times a week and cleaned up after myself.
I'd do a load
of laundry in the evening while waiting for her to get home.
I cleaned
my den and the downstairs bathroom just off my den. All that
in
addition to taking care of the house, the yard and both cars.

I never forgot a birthday or an anniversary. I remembered
the day we
met and I gave her a card every year on that date; ditto on
the
anniversary of the day I proposed to her. I never even looked
at other
women. I did everything I could do to be the best husband
she could
possibly hope for so what went wrong? The only thing I could
think of
was the twenty pounds I'd put on over the last five years
or so. Was
that it? I was not physically attractive to her anymore?

Well, it didn't really matter. After what I'd
seen we were through.
Loving her as much as I did it still wasn't enough to
make me share.
And it wasn't enough to make me fight for her either.
So what if I won
her back from this guy, would I win her back from the next
one? And
the one after him? No, as much as it pained me to admit it,
Patty and
I were through.


I did make one decision. The twenty pounds had to go. I'd
be trim and
fit when I started dating again. I also decided no divorce.
I would
never marry again and Patty and I had managed to get along
all right
while she was playing with her lover so I'd keep the
status quo and
save the hassle and expense of a divorce. All I had to do was
pretend
that I didn't know about her and her lover.


She was in a mellow mood when she came home that night and
she wanted to
make love. It would have been unnatural for me to refuse
her and
besides I was curious to see if I could tell I was getting
her lover's
leftovers. Surprisingly enough she felt no different
than she had on
any of a hundred other times we'd had sex in the last
year, but what
the hell, all that told me was how long I'd been being
the second man
in. I did have to wonder though, was she trying to fuck me
to death
out of guilt, or was she getting a charge out of giving me
her lover's
leftovers?


Monday I joined a gym and sat down with a personal trainer
and he mapped
out a program for me. I hit the gym on the way to work on Mondays,

Wednesdays and Fridays and after a month I started running
on the off
days - Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday - and took Sunday
off as a day of
rest. My relationship with Patty remained unchanged.
She still acted
as if I was the one and only and I never let on that I knew better.

She was still 'working late' at least two nights
a week and I had
stopped bitching about it.


By the time two months had gone by I was down eighteen pounds,
had
firmed up some and was feeling pretty good about myself.
Marla and
Sally, the two girls who worked in the office, had both commented
on
the change and Sally asked me what brought it about. I told
her that I
was trying to get in shape so I'd be more attractive
when I started to
chase the ladies.


"Oh? And what does Patty have to say about that?"


"We have an understanding."

"Ooooh, an open marriage?"

"Yep."

"Well stud, I'm ready if you are."

That caught me by surprise. I'd always flirted with
Sally and Marla and
they had flirted back. I'd never expected it to be anything
but
flirting, but from the sound of Sally's voice she was
serious. What
the hell, I said to myself, charge in there Jerry. Knowing
that Patty
was going to be working Thursday I said:


"You doing anything Thursday?"

"I guess I am now. What do you have in mind?"


"You pick."

"Okay, I'll think about it and have something
when you pick me up.
Dress casual."

"I'll be there at six-thirty, okay?"


Marla, who had been standing there listening, jumped in
with, "Hey!
I've got seniority here" and Sally laughed at
her.


"You snooze, you lose sweetie. You will just have
to wait your turn."

I showed up at Sally's at six-thirty and she came to
the door in her
bathrobe. "Did I get here too early?"

"No. I'm already dressed for our date"
and she opened her bathrobe.
She was naked except for nylons, high heels and a garter
belt. "I
thought we would have desert first, dinner later and then
decide what
we want to do."

She led me into the bedroom and then knelt in front of me and
pulled my
zipper down. She reached in through my fly and wrapped her
fingers
around my cock and slowly worked it out into the open. She
leaned
forward and licked the head and then looked up at me, smiled
and said:


"It's a nice one baby, and I plan on having a lot
of fun with it."

She licked the head and then the shaft from the tip to the
base while
she fondled my balls and then she drug her tongue along the
underside
until she was back to the tip and then she opened her mouth
and took me
in. It was one of life's better blow jobs and she had
me close to
coming in just minutes. I let her know that I was getting
ready to cum
and she took her mouth off of me long enough to say:


"Do it baby, I want it" and then she put her mouth
back on me and I
blew.


I pulled her up and pushed her back on the bed, pushed her
legs apart
and returned the favor. I worked a finger into her pussy
and my mouth
found and latched onto her clit and I worked on her until
she put her
hands on my chest and tried to push me away.


"In me baby, in me. I need your cock in me. Please hurry
baby, please
fuck me."

I got up on the bed with her, pushed her legs apart and slid
my cock
into her and she moaned, "Oh God that feels good"
and her legs clamped
my waist and she pushed her hips up at me and she started cumming.

We never did get to eat dinner that night and I was one very
well fucked
man when Sally walked me to the door, gave me a passionate
kiss and
asked me when we could do it again.


"Tuesdays and Thursdays are the only days I have I
can play."

"I'll take them both."

I swung by work on the way home, used the shower in the locker
room,
changed into work clothes and then went down to Bill's
Bar for a beer
so I would have alcohol on my breath and then I went on home.
Patty
was still up when I got home.


"Where have you been?"

"Knowing that you wouldn't be here I decided
to stop with the boys after
work and shoot some pool."

"I hope you didn't drink too much that you can't
rise to the occasion
because I'm horny and I want your body."

I was hard put to perform, but I did manage to get the job done.
I
blamed the amount of time it took for me to get off on the booze.
I'd
have to watch that in the future. I'd forgotten that
Patty always came
home horny when she 'worked late' and I would have
to make sure that I
saved some for her. For the next six weeks Sally and I went
at it hot and heavy and then one
night she said to me:


"It's Marla's turn now Jerry."

"I beg your pardon?"

"This is our last time. I'm going to let Marla
have a turn now."

"I don't have a say in this?"

"Yes and no. You have a say in whether you and Marla
play or not, but
no say at all in that this is our last time together. You are
a
married man Jerry and I'm letting myself get in too
deep with you.
There is no winning percentage for me here sweetie so I'm
cutting you
loose. Be a good guy and let it happen. That way we can stay
friends
and I won't have to quit my job, okay?"

"You think Marla really wants a turn?"

"I know she does sweetie. All you have to do is ask.
Then again, you
may not have to. She knows I'm ending it and she might
just ask you
first."

And that is just what happened. Friday Marla came up to me
and said:


"I hear you have Tuesday and Thursday free now. Can
I have them?"

My first night with Marla was almost a repeat of my first
night with
Sally in that we never made it out of her apartment. There
was a major
difference between Marla and Sally in that Sally didn't
like anal and
Marla loved it and she let me know that right up front. In
fact, she
wanted it up the butt more than she wanted me in her pussy.
Who was I
to argue with the lady?


My affair with Marla lasted five weeks and then she broke
it off for the
same reason Sally did.


"I'm getting in too deep with you Jerry and that
is not a good thing to
do with a married man."

The way they both put it was that if I were single we could
move on
together. They were both fun girls and both were great in
bed, but get
divorced to be with either of them? Get serious! They were
both
having an affair with a married man. Why would I want girls
that would
do that? I already had one of those at home.


Over the next eight months I met, dated and bedded nine different
women.
None of the affairs lasted longer than a month, most going
only two or
three weeks, but I didn't want anything long term anyway.
My home
situation was unchanged. Patty still 'worked late'
a couple of times a
week, almost always Tuesday and Thursday so those were
the nights that
I played.


I have no idea how much longer things would have gone on the
way they
were going if not for a strange coincidence. It was a Wednesday
and I
was at the gym. I had just finished my workout and I was in
the shower
when the man who had been with Patty at the Christmas party
came in
with two other men and started to change into exercise clothes.
I
turned the water off and was toweling myself dry and listening
to the
three men talk. I got that they were members who had always
come in
the evenings and had switched to mornings. There was some
work related
talk that led me to believe that they worked for the same
company
although not necessarily in the same office and then one
of them said:


"How are you coming along with that fox you were with
at the Christmas
party. Still banging her?"

"I keep telling you that I'm not trying to get
into her pants. We are
just good friends."

"Yeah, right. I'd like to be good friends with
her too. Hell, I'd love
to be great friends with her."

"Forget it. She is so hung up on her husband that you
would think her
was made out of gold."

"Oh come on Mike, I've seen the two of you hugging
and kissing."

"Just brother and sister good friends hugging and
kissing. Honest, she
is so hung up on her husband that no other man would ever have
a
chance."

"Bullshit Mike. I saw the two of you at the Christmas
party and that
kiss you exchanged was no brotherly smooch."

"True, but it didn't mean anything. Her husband
promised her he would
be there and he didn't show. She was pissed and add to
that she'd been
drinking a bit. When she finally accepted that he wasn't
going to show
up she grabbed me and said, "Damn it, this is a holiday
party and
somebody is going to kiss me under the mistletoe and if it
isn't going
to be Jerry it is going to be you." That was the one and
only time."

"I find that hard to believe."

"You want to know how hung up she is on her husband?
You know all that
shipping and receiving overtime that everyone tries to
avoid? She's is
working every minute of it she can get so she can buy him a
Bass Boat
for his birthday. A lot of that huddling we seem to do is her
asking
me about motor sizes, fish finders and all the other stuff
she is
planning on putting on it. I just hope the guy realizes what
a gem he
has in her. Come on, let's hustle, I only have the racquet
ball court
until seven."

After they had gone I sat down on the wooden bench in front
of the
lockers and just stared at the wall.


My God! What had I done. I'd totally misread what was
happening and
then had allowed myself to go off half-cocked. I had done
what I had
erroneously thought Patty had done - I had cheated. I had
gone behind
the back of the woman who loved me and I had cheated and not
just once,
but a dozen times. The only saving factor was that I had not

confronted Patty and said:


"Since you are doing it I am going to do it too."


Patty didn't know what I'd done and what I obviously
wasn't going to do
anymore. What I would do was do everything in my power to
make it up to
her even though she would never know what I had done.


It didn't work out that way. I just wasn't the kind
of guy who could do
what I had done and then go through life pretending that
everything was
fine. I could do it as long as I thought I was staying even
with
Patty, but once I found out that she hadn't done anything
it changed
everything. I could not face her. I couldn't bring
myself to meet her
eyes. I couldn't even bring myself to make love to her
because
touching her with my cheating body would defile her. I had
truly gone
and destroyed my marriage and fucked up my life.


The stupid part was that it didn't have to be that way.
All that I
would have to have done was step up and say "This is
what I think is
happening and this is why I am thinking it" and we could
have talked
things out. Knowing what I knew after hearing that locker
room
conversation I'm sure that there was probably a reasonable
explanation
for the suitcases in her trunk, but I never gave her a chance
to give
me that explanation.


Now I was fucked. I couldn't face her. I didn't
have the courage to
sit down and tell her what I had done and why. I was a coward
and I
did what cowards do - I ran.


I went to my boss, told him I'd caught my wife cheating
and I was going
to move on.


"I like the company and I like the work I'm doing
and if you have an
opening somewhere else I'd like to transfer to it.
If not I guess I'll
have to give my notice."

He picked up the phone, made a call and just that quick I was
on my way
to Colorado. I told him my wife would probably come looking
for me to
cause me trouble and I asked him to tell her that I'd
quit without
notice and that he had no idea where I had gone.


The next day while Patty was at work I loaded everything
of mine into my
pickup. At the last minute I penned a simple note - "I'm
sorry" - and
put it on the kitchen table. It was a rotten thing to do to
her, but
she would get over it in time. She deserved better than me.
She could
get a divorce for "abandonment" and get on with
her life.


That happened fourteen months ago and not a day went by during
those
fourteen months that I didn't think of Patty and what
we'd had and that
I had so stupidly destroyed. Fortunately there was a lot
of work for
me to do and it kept my mind and hands occupied for ten or twelve
hours
a day, but the nights killed me and waking up alone in the
morning was
murder.


When I first got to the job site my solution was to hit the
bars after
work and drown my sorrows, but that got old in a hurry. Going
to work
every morning with a hangover was not a good thing and all
the beer
was ruining everything that the gym and running had done
for me. So I
put myself on the wagon, found a local gym and started getting
myself
back in shape.


After I'd been there six months I noticed several ladies
who seemed to
be taking an interest in me, but I didn't do anything
about it. My
head was still full of Patty and I didn't know if the
day would ever
come that she would fade away and allow me to have thoughts
of another
woman.


I opened the Conoco statement and saw that I had overpaid
and had a
credit so I tore it up and dropped it in the trashcan. I didn't
bother
opening the Visa statement; I knew damned well I didn't
have a credit
on that one and I wouldn't be making the payment until
my next payday
so I put it in my pocket. I held up the letter from Patty and
stared
at it. I held it to my nose and imagined that I smelled her
scent on
it and then I dropped it in the trashcan.


"That's it?" said a voice from behind me.
"You don't even open it, just
throw it away?"

I turned around and found Patty standing there. "Hello
Jerry, long time
no see."

I just stared at her. I couldn't even run because she
was between the
door and me.


"Cat got your tongue? I'm not surprised. You
always were a man of few
words. I only got two when you left - "I'm sorry"
- and I didn't even
get to know what you were sorry about. I've spent the
last year
wondering. I'll never know why you wasted that extra
word. You could
have done it with just one. "Goodbye" would
have accomplished the same
thing and you could have saved a word. Come on Jerry, say
something."

"How did you find me?"

"I'm not saying. If you run again I might have
to use it again. I'm
not about to give you another way to cover your tracks. The
bottom
line is that I am here and I'm not leaving until I know
it all."

"Not here. Follow me to my apartment."

"So what in God's name made you think I was cheating
on you?"

"You were showing a lot of the classic signs of a cheating
wife. All of
a sudden working late when you had never done before. Increased
sexual
activity with the husband because you either felt guilty
or your lover
had you at a fever pitch by the time you had to go home so you
had to
get the husband to put out the fire. Or maybe because it turned
you on
to give him your lover's leftovers. Night when you
stopped for drinks
with your co-workers that kept you out later and later.
Then I found
the suitcases in your trunk full of sexy clothes that you
had never
worn for me. Put all that together with walking in to your
Christmas
party and seeing you tongue wrestling with a guy while all
your
co-workers were hollering at you to get a room, to take it
to a motel.
You don't say things like that to people that you don't
already know
are lovers, at least the people I know don't. It all
added up to
cheating wife."

"You poor, stupid boob. Why didn't you talk to
me? The suitcases were
Ann's. I told you that the airline lost her luggage.
They found it,
but by then Ann was in the hospital in traction and she asked
me to
pick it up for her. And the overtime was real Jerry. All you
had to
do was look at my paycheck stubs.


"You were right about the increase in sex being caused
by guilt, but it
was guilt at having to leave you alone so much. I knew it bothered
you
and I was trying to make it up to you. As for the Christmas
thing, it
meant nothing. I had too much to drink, I was pissed at you
for not
being there and since you weren't there to give me a
Christmas kiss
under the mistletoe I grabbed Mike. Yes, it did get a little
steamy,
but if you had stuck around you would have seen us break apart
and then
go to different tables and he didn't even dance with
me the rest of the
evening.


"God Jerry, I can't believe that you just took
off on me like that and
didn't even try and let me explain."

"That isn't why I left Patty. I left because of
what I did in response
to what I thought you had done."

"And what was that?"

I took a deep breath and told her about Sally, Marla and all
the others
and how I was able to keep the marriage going because my cheating
was
keeping me on an equal footing with her cheating.


"And then when I found out that you weren't cheating
my life just came
unglued. I couldn't face you knowing what I had done
to you and I
realized that you deserved better than a cheating asshole
so I left."

She sat there staring at me as she tried to absorb what I'd
just told
her and then she said:


"How did you find out I wasn't really cheating?"


I told her about overhearing the conversation at the gym.
Her face lost
some of its color and she said:


"My God, what a fucked up mess." She kept looking
at me and shaking her
head. "Let me see if I have this straight. You thought
I was cheating
so you cheated so we would be even, right?"

I said yes and she went on, "So, as long as we were even
you felt we
could have a marriage and that everything would be all right,

everything would be cool, right again?"

I shook my head yes.


"It was only when you stopped thinking that I was cheating
that
everything went to hell, is that it?"

I said yes.


"So if you had never heard that gym conversation we
would still be
living together? You would still be playing with your dollies
thinking
you were staying even with me?"

"Probably."

She stared at me for another minute and then asked, "Did
you love me?"

"Yes I did. I still do. The only reason I stayed when
I thought you
were cheating was because I loved you to much to leave you."


"You do know I love you, don't you? My being here
should tell you that.
I was devastated when you left me and not knowing why made
it worse.
I need you in my life Jerry. I need you to move back home with
me or
I'll move out here to be with you, but one or the other
Jerry, please."



"I can't Patty. After what I did I just can't.
Being with you would be
a constant reminder of just what a cheating asshole I'd
been. I just
couldn't face you every day knowing what I'd done."


"But you could do it if I was cheating on you? As long
as we were even
you could face me?"

I shook my head yes.


"Then come on home Jerry, because we are even. I was
cheating on you.
You were right, you just used all the wrong information
to come to your
conclusions. On the nights I was working overtime Mike
and I were
fucking like a couple of sex crazed rabbits. It started
one night just
before we finished the shift. We bumped into each other,
looked at
each other and it was like a sexual spark jumped between
us. He just
grabbed me, turned me, bent me over a packing crate and took
me. And I
let him. Didn't say a word, just let him take me.


"After that almost every night we worked overtime
he would catch me in a
dark corner or behind a stack of boxes and fuck me. I never
said no.
I never said yes either; I just let him take me. It was fun
sex,
exciting sex, gloriously illicit sex and I loved it. I loved
the sex
baby, not Mike, just the hot illicit erotic sex. I never
even kissed
him. That kiss at the Christmas party was the first and only
time he
ever kissed me. I had it made; a husband who loved me and who
I was
crazy about and who made fantastic, passionate love to
me and a part
time stud who treated me like a slut, a bitch in heat and made
me love
it. And then I had to go and fuck it all up."

"You fucked it up? How did you fuck it up?"

"You were starting to act a little strange and I thought
you might be
getting suspicious. The conversation you overheard was
a set up. It
was supposed to put your mind at rest and keep you from finding
out
that Mike and I were fucking up a storm. Instead, it broke
us up. If
I hadn't tried being tricky we would still be together.
You would
still be with me and be thinking that the playing field was
even."

"You would still be fucking Mike you mean."


"No Jerry, that is the most ironic thing about this.
That faked
conversation that sent you away from me ended it between
Mike and me.
That night when we worked overtime he brought the two guys
he had the
conversation with in with him and told me that all three
of them were
going to fuck me and I walked away from him. Since that night
all I've
done is work and try and find you.


"I need you Jerry. I'm not complete without you.
Please baby, can we
put the past behind us and start over? We are even baby, can
we please
start fresh?"

I stared at her and my mind was running a hundred miles an
hour. I
loved her to death and I missed her so much that a day didn't
go by
that I didn't think of her and want to be with her. But
could I go
through it again? She must have read my mind.


"It won't ever happen again Jerry, I can promise
you that. The last
fourteen months have been a living hell Jerry, they have
been the most
miserable of my life. Being without you is killing me and
I won't ever
do anything that will put me through that hell again. Please
Jerry,
I'm begging you, come back to me. Back home or here,
just let me be
with you."

There really wasn't any question as to what I would
do. I'd only run
from her because I thought I wasn't worthy of her. Given
how much I
loved her if she wanted me back knowing what I had done I'd
have been a
fool not to go. As for what she had done I had already accepted
that
when I started playing the "staying even" game.

Would we make it? We should. She loved me enough to lie to
me, to
paint herself as a slut that she never was. She never had
an affair
with Mike, she just told me she did so I would believe we were
even and
come home to her. How did I know? When I got back home I rejoined
my
gym and one morning as I was doing my workout Mike came in.
I don't
know why, but I kept looking at him and after a while he came
over to
me and asked:


"Do I know you?"

"No, but you knew my wife well enough to have an affair
with her."

"Whoa up there guy. I ain't had no affairs with
no married women."

"You deny having had an affair with Patty Bradley?"


"Hell yes I deny it. What makes you think I had an affair
with Patty?"

I told him the story and he shook his head. "I would
have loved to have
made it with her, but that Christmas kiss is all I ever got,
not that I
didn't try. The conversation you overheard is the
truth. I don't know
why she wants you to think that I'm her lover. All I can
tell you is
that I wanted to be and I tried like hell to make it happen,
but she
would never even give me the time of day. Hell, I was stunned
that I
got the Christmas kiss."

Will I ever tell Patty about my talk with Mike? No. I'm
not going to
do anything to upset the apple cart.


She did buy me that Bass Boat and in a perverse moment I named
it and
put the name in large gold letters on both sides of the bow.
Every
time Patty and I climb on board "Mike's Toy"
we are reminded just how
fragile relationships can be and how hard you need to work
at it to
hold it together.