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names! 2007/4/19
A guy walked into a bar and asked for a drink, the bartender
said sure i just need the name of your penis, The man said
ok give me a minute. So the man asked another guy at the bar
what the name of his penis was and he said a FORD the guys guy
asked a ford y? Its built tough. OK then he goes to another
guys and asked the name of his penis and the guy said its a
CHEVY. Y a chevy he ...
1 덧글, 226 조회수,
9 표
,3.43 점수
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Perfect Shot 2007/4/17
Ed stood over his tee shot on the long ninth for what seemed
an eternity. He waggled, looked up, looked down, waggled again, but
didn't start his back swing.
Finally his exasperated partner asked, " What the
hell is taking you so long?"
"My wife, Di is up there watching me from the clubhouse
balcony, " Tom explained. "I wanna make a perfect
shot."
"Oh come on Ed, " his ...
0 덧글, 128 조회수,
10 표
,3.39 점수
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Religious John 2007/4/16
A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices A sign out of the corner of his eye....It reads:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF 10 MILES
He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without Second thought.. ..Soon he sees another sign which reads:
SISTERS OF T. FRANCIS HOUSE OF 5 MILES
Suddenly he begins to realize ...
0 덧글, 174 조회수,
5 표
,1.19 점수
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Psychiatrist phone 2007/4/16
Hello. Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4,
5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and
what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are ...
0 덧글, 72 조회수,
3 표
,5.39 점수
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Three Blondes at the Gate 2007/4/15
Three blondes died and found themselves standing before
St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter the
Kingdom of Heaven, they had to tell him what Easter was.
The first blonde said, "Easter is the holiday where
they have a big feast, give thanks and eat turkey."
St. Peter rolled his eyes, said, "Blondes, "
and banished her to Hell.
The second blonde said, "Easter is ...
0 덧글, 79 조회수,
4 표
,2.86 점수
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LOnger legs 2007/4/15
There was a young man in the air force who was so well endowed
it was causing problems with his knee. Air Force doctors and one Air Force nurse were in the operating
room to remedy the situation. The first doctor said, "We`ll just take a big hunk
off the end." They discussed it and decided that would
affect his sensitivity. The second doctor said, "We`ll just take a big hunk
out of the middle of ...
0 덧글, 209 조회수,
12 표
,3.86 점수
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4 bells 2007/4/15
Putting out the Fire A man who worked for a fire station came from work one day
and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system
at the fire station. Bell 1 rings and we all put on our jackets. Bell 2 rings and we all slide down the pole. Bell 3 rings and we're ready to go on the trucks. "From now on we're going to run this house the
same way." When I say Bell 1, I want you to strip ...
1 덧글, 155 조회수,
17 표
,5.67 점수
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Pants and panties 2007/4/15
A typical macho man married the typical good-looking lady.
On there honey moon before they crawled into bed he says
to his wife, "honey I want you to do something for me"
She's thinking oh great he wants it his way, so she says,
"Yes dear what would you like me to do?" He replies,
"I want you to put on my pants" So she thinks for
a minute then she says ok. Well as she goes to pull up the pants ...
0 덧글, 155 조회수,
6 표
,1.66 점수
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Only in New York 2007/4/15
Only in New York! A depressed young woman was so desperate that she decided
to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. When
she went to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her
tears, took pity on her, and said, "Look, you've
got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning;
and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take
good care of you and bring you food every ...
0 덧글, 94 조회수,
8 표
,5.33 점수
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over coffee 2007/4/14
Two guy were having coffee when one said you know I never
had sex with my wife before we were married. Did you? The
other said I don't rightly know what was her maiden
name.
0 덧글, 111 조회수,
5 표
,2.49 점수
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The Pearly Gates 2007/4/13
An Engineer is standing outside the Pearly Gates. "Sorry, "St.
Peter tells him, but you're in the wrong place."
He snaps his fingers and the engineer finds himself in hell.
Dissatisfied with the level of comfort there, the engineer
starts making improvements. One day, God phones Satan
to ask how things are going. "Great, " he answers.
"We've got central air and escalators now. There's
no ...
0 덧글, 80 조회수,
4 표
,4.80 점수
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Football 3 2007/4/13
How many college football players does it take to change
a light bulb? The entire team. And they each get a semester's
credit for it.
0 덧글, 47 조회수,
2 표
,3.12 점수
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Football 2 2007/4/13
Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback.
0 덧글, 43 조회수,
2 표
,3.81 점수
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Football 1 2007/4/13
How do you keep cool at a football game? Stand next to a fan.
0 덧글, 35 조회수,
2 표
,3.81 점수
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Words 2007/4/13
Teacher: There are two words I don't allow in my class.
One is gross, and the other is cool. Johnny: So, what are
the words?
0 덧글, 67 조회수,
1 표
,3.70 점수
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Bull Pill 2007/4/13
A farmer in Culpeper, VA went to the local branch of Wachovia
Bank to borrow money for a new bull. The loan was made and Banker
Bill, who lent the money, came by a week later to see how the bull was doing.
The farmer complained that the bull just ate grass and wouldn't
even look at a cow. Banker Bill suggested that he have a veterinarian
take a look at the bull.
Next ...
0 덧글, 93 조회수,
2 표
,3.81 점수
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2029 Headlines! 2007/4/13
*Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in
the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia,
formerly known as California. White minorities still
trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's
third language.
*Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States
crops and livestock.
*Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
*Couple ...
0 덧글, 49 조회수,
4 표
,2.47 점수
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Email OOP'S 2007/4/13
A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong Email address!
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out
during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same
hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.
Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate
their travel schedules.
So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, ...
0 덧글, 69 조회수,
3 표
,2.94 점수
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Trip to Hawaii 2007/4/12
A young woman in New York was so depressed that she decided
to end her life by throwing herself into the East River.
She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid
water when a handsome young sailor saw her teetering on
the edge of the pier, crying.
He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so
much to live for. I'm off to Hawaii in the morning, and
if ...
0 덧글, 118 조회수,
7 표
,5.08 점수
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FLAT BELLY 2007/4/12
A little boy walks into his parents'
room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down.
the mom sees her and quickly dismounts, worried about
what her has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find
him.
The sees his mom and asks, "What
were you and Dad doing?"
The mother replies, ...
0 덧글, 110 조회수,
7 표
,3.55 점수
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One Testicle 2007/4/10
One Testicle..... > > > >There once was a Red Indian whose given name was "Onestone".
>So named because he had only one testicle. He hated
that name and asked >everyone not to call him Onestone. >After years and years of torment, Onestone finally
cracked and said, >"If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill
them!" >The word got around and nobody called him that any more.
>Then one day a young ...
0 덧글, 98 조회수,
4 표
,4.41 점수
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A guy walks into a.......... 2007/4/7
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful woman
wave at him and say hello.
He's rather taken aback, because he can't place
where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?"
To which she replies, "I think you're the father
of one of my ."
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been
unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the
stripper from ...
0 덧글, 219 조회수,
10 표
,4.18 점수
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In Bed 2007/4/7
Husband and wife in bed together.
She feels his hand rubbing her shoulder.
She: "Oh, that feels good."
His hand moves to her breast.
She: "Gee, honey, that feels wonderful."
His hand moves to her leg.
She: "Oh, honey, don't stop."
But he stops.
She: "Why did you stop?"
He: "I found the remote."
2 덧글, 189 조회수,
12 표
,4.74 점수
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Attitude 2007/4/7
The new bride, after getting sexy for her new husband, comes
into the bedroom and sees him standing there with his pants
in his hand. He hold his pants out to her and says. "Here put these
on." To this she says. "Those won't fit me."
"Right." He says. "And I want you to remember
who wears the pants in the family." She puts her thumbs in the waist band of her bakini panties,
pulls them off and ...
0 덧글, 101 조회수,
5 표
,3.80 점수
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Puppies 2007/4/7
Johnie was at the park with his dad when he saw two dogs getting
it on. He pulled on his dad's pants leg and said. "Daddy,
what are those dogs doing?" His dad looked over and said. "There just making pupies."
And that was that. That night after going to bed he awoke needing to take a leak.
He got up and headed for the bathroom. When he passed his
parents open door he heard some moaning and looked ...
0 덧글, 166 조회수,
8 표
,5.33 점수
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Why 2007/4/6
Why do you need a drivers license to buy beer when you can't
drink and drive?
Do you park in the driveway amd Drive on the Parkway?
Why is there an interstate hiway in Hawaii?
0 덧글, 104 조회수,
6 표
,2.51 점수
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Say, I think he's right...! 2007/4/5
Clem & Billy Bob were enjoying a nice day of fishing.
As Clem finished off his beer, he tells Billy Bob, "I
think I'm goin' to divorse my wife... she hasn't
spoken to me in over a month now!" "Well, Clem..." replied Billy Bob, "you
might wanna think about that a little more, a good wife like
that is pretty hard to find"
0 덧글, 140 조회수,
2 표
,2.42 점수
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Getting Even 2007/4/5
Two best friends were on a river bank fishing when one of
them said to the other. Hey, if I was to sneak out of here
and go to your house. Then make love to your wife and get her
pregnant would that make us relatives? "No"
the other man said "JUST EVEN"
0 덧글, 246 조회수,
6 표
,3.93 점수
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New bike 2007/4/5
For his birthday, little Joe asked for a 10-speed bicycle.
His father said, ", we'd give you one, but
the mortgage on this house is $280, 000 & your mother
just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."
The next day the father saw little Joe heading out the front
door with a suitcase. So he asked, ", where are
you going?"
Little Joe told him: "I was walking past your room
last ...
0 덧글, 194 조회수,
7 표
,4.06 점수
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Escaped prisoner 2007/4/4
A man escapes from a prison where he had been kept for 15 years.
As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it, looking
for money and guns, but only finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While
tying the girl up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses
her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.
While he's in ...
0 덧글, 157 조회수,
7 표
,2.28 점수
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