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Boob time 09-01-2018
I was telling a girl I met in a bar last night about my uncanny
ability to guess the day a woman was born on just by feeling
her boobs. <br><br>
"Really?" she said. "Go on then... Try."
<br><br>
After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience.
<br><br>
"Come on, " she demanded, "What day was
I born on?" ...
1 Reacties, 50 Bezichtigingen,
9 Stemmen
,4.49 Score
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Size matters 05-01-2018
As I dropped my trousers and slid my boxers down she exclaimed
"Ere, ain't you got a small organ" <br><br>
I looked up at her, spread-eagled and without breaking
my stride replied "I didn't realise I was expected
to play in a Cathedral" <br><br>
-------- <br><br>
She asked "and who do you think you're going to
please with ...
2 Reacties, 88 Bezichtigingen,
13 Stemmen
,3.14 Score
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How Adam Got Eve 04-01-2018
Adam was hanging around the Garden of Eden feeling very
lly. <br><br>
So, God asked him, “What's wrong with you?” <br><br>
Adam said he didn't have any to talk to. <br><br>
God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that
it would be a woman. <br><br>
He said, “This pretty lady will gather food for you, she
will cook for ...
3 Reacties, 66 Bezichtigingen,
13 Stemmen
,4.49 Score
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funny 03-01-2018
what did the postitude say to the rooster any cock will do
lol
5 Reacties, 30 Bezichtigingen,
16 Stemmen
,0.04 Score
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Why doesn’t Santa Claus have ? 03-01-2018
He only comes once a year.
1 Reacties, 17 Bezichtigingen,
11 Stemmen
,2.05 Score
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Doctor Who 01-01-2018
There was a soldier in Nam that was famous for his socializing.
After about a year, he noticed a problem with his friend
and went in for a checkup. They had never seen anything quite
like the problem he had, but treated him with the usual meds
for social diseases. After the usual amount of time, they
noticed that the problem had not g away, but had gotten
worse. They decided to send him to a ...
0 Reacties, 69 Bezichtigingen,
11 Stemmen
,3.17 Score
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Looney Tunes 30-12-2017
Q: What do you call a rabbit with a crooked dick? <br><br>
A: Fucks Funny
0 Reacties, 12 Bezichtigingen,
9 Stemmen
,1.07 Score
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Frank and Wally 29-12-2017
Two hobos, Frank and Wally were walking through the rail
yard one morning when Frank said "Yesterday was a
lucky day for me. I found a $20 bill laying on the ground by
the tracks." Then Wally said "That is lucky but not near as lucky
as I was last week. I was walking down the tracks and saw a
woman tied to the tracks. So of course, I untied her and then
we proceeded to make love ...
4 Reacties, 93 Bezichtigingen,
20 Stemmen
,3.64 Score
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Sex at 79 28-12-2017
I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that
I can have sex at 79. I'm so happy, because I live at number
71. So it's not too far to walk home afterwards. And it's even on the same side of the street. I don't
even have to cross the road!
0 Reacties, 31 Bezichtigingen,
13 Stemmen
,2.98 Score
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Senior Dating 27-12-2017
Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows, are
talking: <br><br>
Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for
a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted
to talk with you about him before I give him my answer."
<br><br>
Edna: "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment
punctually at 7 pm, dressed like such a gentleman ...
1 Reacties, 75 Bezichtigingen,
13 Stemmen
,2.98 Score
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why did the chicken cross the playground... 27-12-2017
to get to the other slide....lololol
1 Reacties, 18 Bezichtigingen,
10 Stemmen
,1.39 Score
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mike 27-12-2017
Little mike was sitting on a park bench munching away from a big box of chocolates. <br><br>
<br><br>
An older man, sitting on the bench across the way, says "Y'know,
, if you keep eating those chocolates that way you're
going to get fat, and acne, and bad teeth". <br><br>
<br><br>
Little mike says "Y'know, sir, my ...
2 Reacties, 58 Bezichtigingen,
7 Stemmen
,3.04 Score
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Stop Masturbating 25-12-2017
A man is at the optometrist getting his eyes checked. "You need to stop masturbating so much, " the
optometrist says. "Why?" asks the man. "Is it going to make
me go blind?" The optometrist looks around and says "no, but it's
making the other patients very uncomfortable."
1 Reacties, 45 Bezichtigingen,
20 Stemmen
,5.55 Score
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Little Sally 25-12-2017
Little Sally came home from school with a proud smile on
her face. She told her mom, "Frankie Brown showed me his willy
today." Before mom could raise a concern sally said, "It reminded
me of a peanut..." With a secret smile mom asked, "Was it really small?"
Sally replied, "No... really salty!
2 Reacties, 49 Bezichtigingen,
19 Stemmen
,6.03 Score
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pregnancy success 25-12-2017
Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many
times you got fucked to achieve it!!
1 Reacties, 29 Bezichtigingen,
13 Stemmen
,5.16 Score
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Ice Cream Challenge 24-12-2017
There was this new ice cream parlor in my neighborhood,
and they put up this sign, "We have ANY flavor of ice
cream!" Well, I couldn't walk by that store too
many times before taking up a challenge like that. <br><br>
So I go in and ask, "You got any pussy flavored ice cream?"
And the guy smiles and hands over a sample scoop of pussy-flavored
ice cream. ...
0 Reacties, 68 Bezichtigingen,
12 Stemmen
,4.74 Score
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magic dildo 19-12-2017
One day a sexually unsatisfied wife went into a porn store.
She told that man behind the counter that her husband just
couldn't get her to orgasm and wans't very pleasing
at all. The man suggested toys, dildos, and viberators. Apparently
she had already tried all those things and they still didn't
work. The man went to the back of the store and came back holding
an old wooden box. ...
1 Reacties, 90 Bezichtigingen,
17 Stemmen
,4.40 Score
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Payback 18-12-2017
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said
to his wife, “Perhaps we should start washing your clothes
in ‘Slim Fast’. Maybe it would take a few inches off
of your butt!” <br><br>
His wife was not amused, and decided that she simple could
not let such a comment go unrewarded. <br><br>
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out
of his ...
0 Reacties, 79 Bezichtigingen,
14 Stemmen
,3.62 Score
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SNOW!! 15-12-2017
What do you a snowman in the Sahara ...
1 Reacties, 52 Bezichtigingen,
8 Stemmen
,2.78 Score
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Medieval Times 13-12-2017
In days of old When knight were bold And rubbers weren't invented. They stuck a sock Around their cock And babies were prevented.!
4 Reacties, 46 Bezichtigingen,
14 Stemmen
,2.66 Score
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Old lady in a pawn shop 11-12-2017
So there's this old lady visiting a pawn shop looking
for antiques. As she is walking around there's a parrot
at the front desk that keeps mouthing off at her, calling
her a cunt and an old bitch, etc. After 4 or 5 times walking
by and being offended, she asks the clerk how much for the
parrot. Shocked, the clerk warns her that the previous
owner had taught the bird pretty much only ...
1 Reacties, 84 Bezichtigingen,
12 Stemmen
,3.68 Score
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Old lady in a pawn shop 11-12-2017
So there's this old lady visiting a pawn shop looking
for antiques. As she is walking around there's a parrot
at the front desk that keeps mouthing off at her, calling
her a cunt and an old bitch, etc. After 4 or 5 times walking
by and being offended, she asks the clerk how much for the
parrot. Shocked, the clerk warns her that the previous
owner had taught the bird pretty much only ...
0 Reacties, 13 Bezichtigingen,
4 Stemmen
,2.86 Score
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Old lady in a pawn shop 11-12-2017
So there's this old lady visiting a pawn shop looking
for antiques. As she is walking around there's a parrot
at the front desk that keeps mouthing off at her, calling
her a cunt and an old bitch, etc. After 4 or 5 times walking
by and being offended, she asks the clerk how much for the
parrot. Shocked, the clerk warns her that the previous
owner had taught the bird pretty much only ...
0 Reacties, 14 Bezichtigingen,
5 Stemmen
,2.49 Score
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Mickey/Minnie divorce 10-12-2017
Mickey and Minnie are sitting in divorce court. The judge
is flipping through the paperwork and says: "Mickey,
I don't usually ask questions like this but you guys
are such a high profile couple, I have to know; it says here
that you're divorcing Minnie because she's weird.
Can you explain?" Mickey looks up at the judge and says: I didn't say she
was weird, I said ...
0 Reacties, 60 Bezichtigingen,
12 Stemmen
,4.92 Score
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What's the difference.... 10-12-2017
Q:What's the difference between three cocks and a
joke? A:Your mom can't take a joke!
0 Reacties, 5 Bezichtigingen,
5 Stemmen
,1.19 Score
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What's the difference.... 10-12-2017
Q:What's the difference between three cocks and a
joke? A:Your mom can't take a joke!
1 Reacties, 11 Bezichtigingen,
3 Stemmen
,3.43 Score
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Good Jokes or bad 10-12-2017
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball <br><br>
What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? Beat it. We’re closed. <br><br>
Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering a minor. <br><br>
Why does ...
1 Reacties, 23 Bezichtigingen,
4 Stemmen
,4.02 Score
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Good Jokes or bad 10-12-2017
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball <br><br>
What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? Beat it. We’re closed. <br><br>
Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering a minor. <br><br>
Why does ...
1 Reacties, 9 Bezichtigingen,
3 Stemmen
,1.47 Score
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Please Be Considerate 08-12-2017
Can I just ask every for a big favor? Those of you who are
planning to place Christmas lights in their yards, can
you please avoid anything that is red or blue and flashing?
Every time I drive, I think it's the police and get panic
attacks. I have to take my foot off the accelerator, toss
my wine, fasten my seat belt, throw my ph on the floor,
and push the gun under the seat. It's a big ...
0 Reacties, 34 Bezichtigingen,
8 Stemmen
,3.48 Score
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The Board Meeting 07-12-2017
All the members of the company's Board of Directors
were ed into the Chairman's office, after
another, until only Ted, the junior member, was left sitting
outside.Finally it was his turn to be summd. Ted entered
the office to find the Chairman and the other Directors
seated at the far end of the boardroom table.Ted was instructed
to stand at the other end of the table, which he did. ...
1 Reacties, 81 Bezichtigingen,
12 Stemmen
,4.04 Score
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