From her years spent working in the adult industry, Penthouse Pet Ryan Keely has gained a wealth of knowledge about sex and relationships -- and she's going to share that knowledge with Adult FriendFinder readers every month.


How do I tell a guy I'm only interested in being fuck buddies with him? I know this isn't usually a problem, but he's a serial monogamist, and I have no interest in shacking up with him. I'd much rather just fuck him when I can and be free to do what I want the rest of the time. Is there a tactful way to suggest this arrangement to him? --A.R., Pennsylvania


I don't think this is the right guy for you to be hooking up with casually. Someone who has an established relationship pattern is unlikely to alter it, even if he attempts to do it on a conscious level. People don't change that much, and he's likely to get attached if you start fooling around on a regular basis. Eventually you'll end up having to break his heart.

I rarely recommend hitting up nice guys for easy, sleazy sex. They aren't the type, and they have a tendency to get attached if/when you rock their world. You'd be better off banging bartenders, waiters, male models and personal trainers. While not all of these guys are manwhores, their jobs tend to attract the slutty types.

Someone who's used to having casual sex is likely to be good at it, and unlikely to want anything more. Karmically, it might be a better option to find a fuck buddy who's interested in casual sex than to ask your nice guy to play against type.

If you do decide to bang your serial monogamist, set clear boundaries. No sleepovers; it's best to do the deed at his place and leave. No going out for dinner or cooking each other dinner.

I will, however, allow calling for post-coitus delivery and award bonus points if you're only eating to replenish for round two. There will be no coming over just to hang out. No talking about work drama, feelings or your plans for the future. Definitely no unprotected sex. If you can follow those guidelines, you can safely have a booty call without the risk of an emotional entanglement. If any questions arise, "I'm not looking for anything more than what we're doing. Let's keep this light, because I'm enjoying the orgasms" ought to cover it.




My boyfriend and I like to take turns buying a new sex toy we can share the next time we're together. This time, he bought me a butt plug. I've never had anal sex before or used any sort of toys in my backdoor. I'm willing to give almost anything a try, but I don't know how to start. Do you have any tips for an anal virgin? --H.M., Pennsylvania


Low lights and baby wipes are step one when attempting any sex act that could get messy. Turn off the overhead lights and stock your bedside table with candles and a big tub of baby wipes. Get the nice ones. It's a difference of a few dollars, but if you have a little mess, the better brands have quick-access lids. I'd also get some silicone-based lube.

I only recommend anal play after you have had your daily bowel movement and a shower. If you are planning on just using the butt plug, you can have him insert it during sex after he "warms up" your butt by using his tongue and massaging with lubed-up fingers. After your butt is feeling relaxed and excited, he can massage a quarter-sized drop of silicone lube on your sphincter and tube and slowly insert the toy. I can tell my butthole is excited and ready to have things inside when it starts "winking," meaning the muscles will start flexing in response to stimulation. As he slowly inserts the toy, try pinching down on the toy with your butt muscles like you are trying to expel it. It sounds counterproductive, but it'll actually help you relax and receive the toy.

For your first night with something in your butt, I would recommend just enjoying the full feeling of having your ass plugged while your boyfriend stimulates your pussy with his mouth, fingers or cock. Even the tiniest butt plug can cause intense sensations, and it's worth savoring those feelings before you explore more advanced anal play.



I went to a fetish party a few weeks ago and there was a dominatrix there who really got me hard. I've never thought about being dominated, but after seeing her in action, I think I want to try it out. How does one go about finding and hiring a domme? --P.L., New York

This is a really complicated question, so I thought I'd consult with Mistress January Seraph, a world-renowned professional dominatrix.

"If you're interested in submitting to a professional dominatrix for the first time, make sure you go to a reputable domme, so that your needs are met, your boundaries and privacy are respected, and hopefully your interest is piqued," she suggests. "Basically, do your homework."

There's a virtual buffet of pro-domme directories available online, and they can be found through a simple Google search. "Any reputable domme should have a strong internet presence that includes both her own website and an active social media presence," Mistress January says. For non-commercial, "lifestyle" dommes, she suggests checking out Alt.com or Bondage.com, which cater to people looking for BDSM-based relationships.

"Dominatrices vary in their appearance, interests and skill sets," she says, "but remember that dommes aren't escorts, so don't ask about escort-related services." That said, what they don't offer in sexual favors they make up for in BDSM and kink expertise.

"The wonderful thing about a professional dominatrix is that she's most likely seen and heard it all," Mistress January says. "There's no reason to censor your submissive desires, so long as you're respectful in your delivery. Be as honest with her as you can."

Make sure to follow any protocol she's requested, and "answer all questions posited as completely as you're able. If there's something you don't know or understand, make that clear. The more you share with your chosen domme, the more able she'll be to meet your needs."

Once you've found the right domme and have agreed to meet, Mistress January suggests you arrive early, be well groomed and have a willing attitude. "If you're looking to score brownie points, try bringing a small, thoughtful gift," she adds. After that, you'll be well on your way to exploring the kinkier side of your sexuality in a safe, private atmosphere, and with expert guidance.

This article originally appeared in Penthouse Forum.