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Is Your Profile Too Dirty?   by Molly Mounds

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Molly Mounds is an employee of Adult FriendFinder, and runs the AFF AdviceHub advice group, where she dispenses tips on how to make the most out of the site.

Is Your Profile Too Dirty?

So, I'm sure you've all seen this type of profile before. It starts off innocently enough:

Hi, I'm a 35-year-old single man with a car and a stable job.

Ok, sounds good so far.

I just got out of a long relationship, so I'm only looking for NSA right now, nothing serious.

Cool, good to know that upfront.

If we meet and click, I'll take you back to my place where I will slowly run my tongue over your quivering nipples, guiding my hands downward to your trembling love mound while I deeply probe your dripping pink lips with my huge, throbbing....

WHOA! WHOA! Back up there a second, Lothario! Am I reading your "About Me" or an excerpt from Penthouse Letters?

If your profile reads like this, and you're not having any luck, you might want to consider easing up on the dirty talk first thing out of the gate. We certainly appreciate your enthusiasm, but you might be shooting yourself in the foot by coming on too strong, so to speak.

Yes, this is an adult site, and we speak freely on adult matters here: frank and open talk about sexuality is a given.

However, many members have stated that explicit sex talk in a profile is a big turn off for them. They feel that it's putting the cart before the horse, so to speak.

There is absolutely a place for dirty talk here on Adult FriendFinder ‒ but the introductory paragraph on your profile may not be it.

I've always encouraged members here to think of their interactions as an online version of real life: in other words, if you approached a woman in real life, the first words out of your mouth wouldn't be "if want to go snorkeling in your lady love juices, baby!"

(And if it was, well, you'd probably wind up wearing her drink.)

Same goes for interactions here: you'll want to get the basics out of the way to establish compatibility before you dive straight into the dirty talk.

This doesn't mean you have to have a squeaky clean profile that discusses your love of knitting quilts and hand-carving wooden sculptures of blue birds; you can be fun, racy, flirty and naughty without being as explicit as the script of a porn.

Once you've had a chance to interact with you potential partner(s) through email, and IMs, then you can break out the dirty talk if you think it's something he/she/they will appreciate. Or better yet, post your fantasies as a blog, or share them with one of our erotic writing groups.

Point is, don't go busting down the door first thing with the super nasty talk; although some may like it, many don't, and you can always introduce it a bit farther down the line once you've established an initial connection.

Standard disclaimer: this is simply me offering my observations based on my many interactions with members over the years. As always, your opinion and experiences may differ; so I encourage you to try different approaches to see what works best for you!

Got a question for Molly? Join AFF AdviceHub and ask away! You can also request a free personalized profile critique!