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My Magazine > Editors Archive > Sexpert > Ask Tera: Bad Boys and Gag Girls
Ask Tera: Bad Boys and Gag Girls   by Tera Patrick and You, Our Members

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Tera Patrick Exclusive!

Visit Tera at her site, www.clubtera.com.

When she first came onto the adult scene Tera Patrick's film work caught everyone's eye; she was voted the "Best New Starlet" from Cannes to AVN (2001-2). One of the most popular adult stars out there, Tera Patrick has captured best-of status at all the hot men's magazines -- Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler -- she was Penthouse's 2002 Pet of the Year and Hustler's 2002 Hustler Honey. Now Tera runs her own adult film production company "Teravision" while zig-zagging across the country filming and making appearances. And luckily for AdultFriendFinder, she finds time to answer our sex-related questions.

[Questions are carefully selected by Tera from the many questions posted by Gold members on our Advice Lines (see left-hand column of the Magazine)and in the comment section below. They're used by members' permission. It's just another of the fun, sexy connections AdultFriendFinder has to offer!]

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Secret Porn Addiction

Dear Tera,
My husband loves to view porn, but tries to hide it from me. I don't care if he watches it, but feel if he is hiding it from me then it has to be more than just looking at pictures. Should I worry about this behavior?
tasty1122

Dear tasty,
Don’t you worry about it! Chances are he’s just getting off on the idea of having a dirty little secret. It makes him feel like a bad boy, so you should indulge his fantasy and have a little bit of fun with it. Next time you fuck him, try pretending you are a bitchy schoolmistress who wants to punish her naughty student for being such a troublemaker. Then roll up a magazine and smack his butt. I bet you he’ll totally get off on it!

Outgrowing fetishes

Hi Tera:
Have you ever outgrown a fetish once you've been able to indulge it for awhile? Is there something you always wanted to try and once you did it wasn't all you thought it would be? For example, I used to love sucking on a woman's toes but it kind of got old after a while.
MicoSalas

Dear Mico,
Fetishes are so fascinating! Sometimes you have them for life–usually because they come from an event in your youth that has a permanent effect on what gets you off. This is like, for example, the young boy who gets caught looking at a dirty magazine by his bitchy schoolteacher, and who for the rest of his life has a sexual fantasy about being a naughty little boy caught doing something bad. Then you have the fetishes that come from the idea of a certain sexual act being taboo. These are the ones that you can outgrow, because once you perform that act several times, it loses its appeal–like with you and your toe-sucking. Don’t worry, though! There will always be something new and weird that will make your cock stiff. Humans have so many holes and so many appendages–just use your imagination, and I’m sure you’ll find a new thing to get off on in no time.

Kissing?

Dear Tera,
My girlfriend doesn't like to kiss, even during sex, but I love it, how can I get her to kiss during sex?
grinchdub

Dear grinchdub,
Do you love to ram your tongue way down a girl’s throat? That is the most common mistake that guys make when kissing a girl. Try being more playful in your kissing. Don’t shove it way in there until she’s really excited. And make sure you don’t have bad breath. The way to tell is by licking the back of your hand, letting it dry, and then smelling it. Doggy-breath sucks!

Oral Sex and Gag Reflex

I have a severe case of gag reflex. When I try to perform oral sex on my lover, it makes me gag. What is the best way to get over this?
sweetbaby626

Dear sweetbaby,
Gagging is a totally natural part of giving head! You shouldn’t worry about it, because a lot of guys like seeing it. Most of the male porn stars I know say that it’s completely normal, especially when they are shoving their cocks as far in as they can. Once you get used to it, though, it’s much easier to control the gagging reflex. Just practice as much as you can, and relax. Freddie, one of my makeup artists, says, “Relax, close your eyes, and think of the money!” Once you get used to it, you can relax on command. Lots of girls I work with tell me that they can do shots easier now, because you can just open your throat right up (another of the pluses of being a blow job queen!).

Open Marriages

Hey, Tera:
How do you feel about open marriages? Is it worth it to have not just sex with someone but a relationship out side the marriage? Or is it just an excuse to have an affair?
Lilly61963

Dear Lilly,
Open marriages can work for some people. Monogamy is definitely not for everybody! It doesn’t take a genius to see that. If you are honest with your spouse about what you’re doing, I think it’s very brave to think outside the box and tailor your relationship to your own values instead of society’s. Look at my relationship -- I am married, committed, and in love, yet I fuck other people on camera. Not exactly what you’d call traditional, but it works for us, and it definitely turns us on. In fact, when my husband watches me film a scene, it gets us so hot that we usually have to fuck immediately after I finish! He’s like a dog marking his territory, and I love being his prized possession. My assistant Taryn says she believes in “hierarchical polyfidelity,” which means that you have one main relationship with your most important commitment, and then you have your fuck buddies and other relationships that satisfy your need for variety without threatening your emotional loyalty to your main squeeze. If the people on Adult Friendfinder are any indication, monogamous marriages are a thing of the past!



How do I get my landlord 2 FUCK ME?!

Dear Tera,
Ok I admit it, I WANT my landlord. He is not the typical guy that I would want to fuck. HE is not all that handsome or even fit. I mean he's not fat, old and ugly, he's just average. However, he is sexy in his own right and is constantly flirting with me so I know he's interested. But this part of my life I like to keep private, but I want HIM to know that I'm a freak and want to fuck. He's married and doesn't have a lot of "free" time so I find myself always thinking of ways to get him over here. When he's here, I'm constantly wet between my legs and daydreaming about him throwing me down and shoving his dick in my mouth.
Any suggestions on how to initiate this?
Please help! I Want Him BAD!
swoleclit

Dear swoleclit,
Ooh! Naughty, naughty! Well, I’ll have to be honest with you and say that I can’t condone fucking a married man in real life, because it’s possible that his wife won’t be too happy about it, and you have to have respect for that. (Some people still do believe in monogamy!). And in this situation, it’s even worse, because you could get kicked out of your place, so you’d be taking a big risk just to satisfy your desire for a guy that you don’t even think is that hot! You’re probably just getting off on the act of flirting with him and would be disappointed when it came down to actually fucking him. If I were you, I would hire an escort to pretend he was your landlord. He’ll have a better body and probably fuck you better, too!

Bi-sexism?

Dear Tera:
I'm bisexual and quietly proud of it (by which I mean that, with a few exceptions like this, I tend not to go around broadcasting it in people's faces, but am comfortable with my sexuality). Sometimes I get the feeling that women don’t like this. So: Does it put you off knowing that a guy is bisexual? If so, why? Is it the perception that bisexuals don't know what they want, or that they're promiscuous, or something else?
playing4fun82

Dear playing,
In this day and age, I think it’s less an issue of intolerance and more just an issue of what turns people on. A lot of women like a masculine man–me included. On the other hand, there are also plenty of women who like bisexual men because they are open-minded and often more in touch with their feminine sides. If you know how to seduce a woman, then I’m sure it doesn’t matter if you take it up the butt every once in a while.

Pre-sex movie to close the deal

Hi Tera:
Ok...you're at home after a fantastic, mind-blowing date with him. All things aside; alcohol consumed, amount of time you've known each other, etc. -- what movie do you choose to watch that you can be almost 100 percent assured will lead to sex? Do you or your partner get hot watching your own movies? And since you know how porn is made, what movies turn you on, if any? Also, I prefer something with dialogue, plot and a varying soundtrack -- is there anything out there in the porn world for me?
meerkittykat

Dear kittykat,
As for what movie would most likely lead to a fucking session, it totally depends on the guy. If he likes a full-on movie with hardcore sex, I would recommend my own “Tera Patrick is…Desperate.” We really went all-out in the filming of that movie! I would also recommend anything by Jules Jordan. If you think a non-pornographic movie would be more appropriate, I would say “From Here to Eternity” or “9 1/2 Weeks.” Maybe an Andrew Blake flick if he’s more in-between. My husband and I don’t usually watch our own movies, because we spend so much time filming them! The kinds of movies that turn me on most are the ones that are glamorous yet hardcore at the same time. I’ve seen so much sex on film that I need there to be something interesting about it or else it quickly loses my interest. Porn is changing a lot these days, so it’s easy to find something to please anyone’s taste.

What is the best toy for anal sex?



Hello, Tera,
My wife and I are looking for a good anal sex toy and are wondering about your ideas and views on good toys. We have tried beads and they are so-so. Please give us some hints.
everydayjoe76

Dear Joe,
If anal beads don’t do the trick for you, I would try a vibrating corkscrew. If that sounds too scary, the traditional butt plug never fails, and it comes in many different sizes. Don’t forget to use plenty of lube, because butt play is seldom fun without it. And don’t forget to relax! Remember–it’s fun!


Do ladies like to give head?

Hi Tera:
I really wonder whether u like to give oral sex oral? Is giving head satisfactory for you? Also according to you, what's the best way to make a guy hard?
to-be-wanted

Dear wanted,
One of my mottos is: Blow jobs are every man’s birthright! Once again, my makeup artist Freddie put it all into perspective by saying, “Blow jobs–they’re the only job you can’t get fired from!” It’s so true. Blow jobs are extremely satisfying to me, because I know that I am satisfying my man. As for the best way to make a guy hard, try doing a slow, sensuous striptease for him as you describe in detail what you’re about to do to him. If that doesn’t make him hard, check his pulse.

XOXO,
Tera

For more of Tera's hot advice, check out all her columns in our archives, or Visit Tera at her site, [extern url='http://www.clubtera.com' target='_blank' text='www.clubtera.com'].