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My Magazine > Editors Archive > Sexpert > The Good Girl’s Guide to Giving Great Head
The Good Girl’s Guide to Giving Great Head   by Steffani Cameron

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I’m a perfectionist. This has served me well in many areas of my life, whether it be at work or in the kitchen. Or, as it happens, in the bedroom.

I think of oral sex as a fine art. In my view, it’s the most sensual, supposedly selfless thing you can do for a lover.

Now, I say “supposedly selfless,” because who’s kidding whom? If you’re already in a good relationship, throwing great oral into the equation makes it undeniably better. It’s the final touch. "Then they owe you." And you know as well as I do, you’re keeping score. We all are.

When it comes to oral, I owe everything I’ve learned to "Sex Tips for Straight Ladies from a Gay Man." The first time I used all the tips in that book -- and let me tell you, when I read, I absorb information like a sponge, my friends -- the guy at the other end of my new-found expertise was gasping his thanks for three full minutes afterwards, no exaggeration. What’s that they say, the devil is in the details? So's the orgasm, honey.

It’s not just knowing the moves, though. That’s only half the battle. Where victory comes in is in understanding your lover’s body language. That twitch, that gasp, that shudder, when their thigh muscles tighten or their ass clenches while they inhale sharply... all these little signs will give you clues as to what’s working... and what’s working even better.

You don’t have to talk during the process but your lover should always emit little vocal cues when oral’s underway. It’s a roadmap of sorts.

By understanding those subtle shifts in behavior, you know when to switch up your technique to involve a little added stimulation in, or to pull back so you can prolong the experience without having them blow their load too soon. It’s torturously delightful when the whole process is dragged out for as long as you can make it last.

My record for delivering oral on a guy was an event spread out over an hour, and with his reaction (not to mention his reciprocation the following night), my time proved to be very well spent. Some situations scream for you to dote and linger and take the slow route around. In my book, that always includes light bondage.

I’m not afraid to make an entire night about the guy. Or to at least try. Honestly, guys have never "let me" make it all about them. Half-way through, they’re always so riled they feel compelled to take charge.

And who am I to argue, then? That is one of the perks of showering your lover with affection. When you limit their ability to be involved in the process, it always heightens the payback. And I do so love payback.

If I wanted to deliver The Perfect Scenic Route Blowjob, it’d take a little scheming. Naturally, he wouldn’t know what I had in mind. Where’s the fun in that?

I would plan to give loverboy a full-body massage that would slowly turn into bondage. I’d do firm but sensual deep tissue work, keeping it fairly innocuous... for a while.

If not already naked midway through the massage, I’d remedy that and undress. Straddling him, sitting on his ass, I’d work my way lower on his back. I’d have him roll over… and he’d naturally be rock hard by now.*

I’d have a bind or tie of some kind under the pillow, and upon straddling his front and working his pecs, I’d lean in for a kiss, pin his arms playfully over his head, then produce the rope. Of course he’d give his permission (because I only date intelligent men) and I’d then proceed to tie up his hands.

At this point it’s all about exploring, isn’t it? Kissing, sucking, nibbling from head to toe and back again... but stopping often, for long, involved cock teasing.

Where I start with a blowjob is by grabbing the base of the shaft. This isn’t even an option. Need I repeat that? Not an option, sisters. A good firm grasp around the shaft is a must, and while you're at it, it’s also great to have the testicles involved in this lovely grasp, as well. Be careful that you’re not pinching the urethra, since this can cause problems as he excites. Cup his balls, and maybe play with them, rolling them in your hand, but don’t overdo it ‘cause you don’t want to get him too riled too early.

This whole process is going to be about giving and denying, about taking him to the brink and knowing when to stop so you can stretch that tease to the maximum. If you can prolong it as long as possible, the resulting orgasm should be of the earth-shattering, full-body spent kind. (My favorite, personally.)

From that point, baby, it’s all mix’n’match. There’s no real process. Vary it like mad, not sticking with any one technique for longer than a minute or so. If I can see his face and know he’s concentrating with furrowed brows or biting his lip intensely, then I’ll probably prolong that move just a tad since it’s obvious he’s in another place with it. There are no rules... just make it good and make it last.

Among my favorite moves:

The Explorer: Licking hard and slow up from the base of the shaft, over the head, nibbling the tip oh-so-gently before going open-mouth and deep over the whole shaft, closing lips hard over him, sucking hard and slow all the way up, then making a couple short little slurping passes over the tip. I repeat the whole move a few times in a row, usually producing a couple tortured little shudders at the very least.

The Nibbler: Imagine you’re a dainty little old English lady working her way around a tea biscuit with the littlest of nibbles. You’ll work your way from base to tip ever so delicately nibbling the skin lengthwise, and when you get to the tip, you’ll simply mouth the top of his cock and his glans and toy with him using your tongue and sucking with varying degrees of pressure.

Women, for the love of god, if you can’t nibble without applying any painful pressure, do NOT do it at all! If you’ve never nibbled cock before, go gently, please! Once you’re into the experience, ask him if he’s comfortable with you proceeding. Not every guy is trusting enough to let a chick teeth him. But he should be. Unless he’s fond of denying himself the most sinful of pleasures.

The Creamsicle: Ah, let’s hear it for the classics.

[To be continued…]