A start  

youwonnit 48M
27 posts
8/2/2006 3:32 am

Last Read:
8/3/2006 5:00 am

A start

Okay, so i always had trouble separating sex from love. Now i dont think love exists and so where does that leave my sex life?

I wanted a life with someone, cottage and dogs and all that cheesey dreamy stuff.

I cant see that life now, so I need to understand more about sex only one nighters i am not sure about and i dont want a relationship.

So the first great question for debate...

Is it possible to have passionate intimate one nighters? Or is it more about some hedonistic pleasure, and ultimately selfish fulfilment?



8/2/2006 4:05 am

I believe passion and intimacy develop from knowing somebody longer than a few hours. Therefore, one nighters would not be the answer.

papyrina 52F
21133 posts
8/2/2006 4:18 am

i agree with bicurin

I'm a

i'm here to stay

youwonnit 48M

8/2/2006 4:43 am

Guess you have just made my left hand very happy

I do agree, as disappointing as that agreement is sex is okay but when you are with someone that actually wants to wake up with you then it is something way beyond sex.

youwonnit 48M

8/2/2006 5:22 am

And Bicurin as much as i agree with you what is wrong with 5'6" tall?

Prick us do we not bleed?

Actually i think 5'6" tall maybe an oxymoron. So what is wrong with 5'6" short? That puts me the same height as you and all people should be equal

lovelylassie36ff 46F
20 posts
8/2/2006 6:51 am

Not sure about this, I am having this debate myself or should I say with myself... I love sex but don't really want a on the sofa every night relationship - after coming out of a marriage. I have had some fabulous meets. Some very sexy intelligent men who don't want anything more than sex, I have been happy with that. Although a couple made me felt dirty afterwards, it was the way the men acted as the sun rose... Had one very passionate encounter after meeting someone for the second time, first time was drinks, lunch and much flirting. Has an amazing night though, very sexual but the kissing and touching was real, slept in the same bed and then went our separate ways. Hopefully to be repeated but not sure how long you can repeat before one of the pair starts to depend upon the other... I would consider a relationship with a man off AdultFriendFinder as I know we would be sexually compatible and this is important for me. I have had problems meeting men on dating sites as a couple have had much lower sex drives which can become a problem.
Not sure passionate all consuming but also selfish fulfilment - this depends upon who you are with - I have found both.

youwonnit 48M

8/2/2006 8:15 am

Hi lovelylassie,

That sounds really nice, err the nice parts anyway. That dirty feeling cant be nice and would it be really bad of me to say that it is usually a man that makes the woman feel dirty and not the other way round. That whole "had her" mentality, yuck.

Also interesting about you saying that one becomes more dependent, horrible term but that f**k buddy thing that i hear mentioned more and more could have been the answer, two people who know and like each other but dont want to commit to each other. Again ideally speaking its lovely but as you said the feeling on side grows and if they are your mate and you sleep with them then i just wouldnt understand why they werent a couple, all relationships and love have been to me is waking up with your best friend.

Hmm i am rambling now. I hope you do get some repeats, it sounds wonderful

RubyRedPetal 45F

8/3/2006 4:42 am

What a great start to a blog!! One nighters are not something i do often, i can count em on one hand (i think!) but they are just about sexual pleasure. Intimacy happens over time. But saying that i can and do have intimate n passionate sex with men who i have no intention of doing the roses around the door thing. The older i get, and the longer i am on this site, the less rules i realise there are!

* *

youwonnit 48M

8/3/2006 5:00 am

Hey Ruby,

That is the nail on the head for me, the rules thing. I met someone who just ticked everyone of ideals that i was holding out for. It didnt work out, how could it with that pressure on it? and so now i realise all these rules have to come down. Intimacy and passion without the roses you say, i like that, i hope that and i want to believe in that

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