under my skin  

your_gypsy 52F
128 posts
11/11/2005 2:03 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

under my skin

wow 2 entries from me today...

i just had to document the conversation that i had on instant message for 2 hours straight today, while i was working of course. it was with a man who is in a gorean relationship with 2 women.

now before the reader thinks "oh fuck... what's she thinking of doing now." i just am intrigued by his life. and he by mine, for some reason. i'm just a plain ol' mom, sweet li'l thang, with good skin, etc., lol.... anyway --

i'm showing off my slowly crumbling tough exterior and thinking i'm doing a bang-up job of doing so when he starts asking me fucking pointed questions that really get under my skin. i got defensive and pretty soon i was weeping. being at such a low point in my life right now it's almost possible to see that i am at the edge of a turning event that can only be better than this.

i know i am not doing a great job of looking so like i have my shit together right now but this is who i am today and i have no choice but to be *in this moment* the way it is and just try to wade it through. after all, that is what i am looking for in a partner/lover/boyfriend. a man who can stand in that spot and not waver when the going gets tough or he gets a little scared. where are these men, for god's sake???

anyone who wants to get under my skin better be prepared for what they find. it might be quite a mess, or it might be something they can stomach. many people who know me and love me don't even go there. that is what mean when i say i am into intense and close relationships. so that when someone gets under my skin they can withstand what they see from there, and if i get under their skin, they won't go fleeing to hide somewhere.

oh hell. don't take life so seriously all the time, gypsy...

jim5131 56M
1296 posts
11/11/2005 9:36 pm

"where are these men, for God's sake???"

rm_FreeLove999 47F
16127 posts
11/21/2005 11:28 pm

well, sometimes life is a serious business. nothing wrong with that. i actually prefer to find out fairly quickly if a man can stomach how i am or not ... its kind of a filtering system!

[blog freelove999]

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