The Twisted, Cruel Side of Me!  

yagottalikit 50F
824 posts
7/29/2006 5:27 am

Last Read:
6/4/2007 3:25 am

The Twisted, Cruel Side of Me!

Well....I was going to let my 100th post be "The End", however, what better way to torture all my ol' buddies than to rub my delirious joy in all of your faces???!!! Maybe, this will bring hope to those who are as jaded as I was just one year ago....OR....at the very least, I'll make several of you groan in misery!

Happy Anniversary, Babe! Hinkawaza

It really is hard to believe it's already been a year... In so many ways, it feels like we've been together forever (good ways, of course) and in so many other ways it feels like I met you yesterday! I guess it's the combination of feeling grounded/settled, yet, still having so much to discover. Every day I wake up feeling this "new" love. Nothing has faded. we've become comfortable, yes ~ but not boring or routine. You still excite me. You still turn me on. You still surprise me!

I am constantly amazed by the depth of this love. I have loved before ~ but, nothing has ever compared! The purest love I have ever felt was, and will remain, the love I felt when I first saw my daughters. (That lasted all of 30 seconds) The love I feel for you is as close to that purity as possible! I never knew....

Why did it take us so long to find each other? I truly believe that the timing was right. Every part of our lives that led us to each other, made us who we are now. We have both had experiences that enabled us to feel THIS. Here and now ~ and forever. We were different people before. Only a couple of years ago, I don't think I was capable of allowing myself to feel the emotions I feel with you, let alone expressing them. I found you when I needed you most! (Ok ~ you found me, persistent little fuck) When I was ready to REALLY love. Not when I wanted love; quite the contrary! You found me when my heart and mind had healed just enough to open up and see; to feel something I'd never felt. I was, finally, ready to let go of the hurt, the guilt, the anger, the sadness.....to quit running from myself....to accept the fact that I do deserve happiness. That I am worthy of an honest and fulfilling love.

I've always been loving and giving. I've cared deeply for those who wouldn't think twice of crushing me to get past me. Along the way, I learned to never expect anything in return.
So I thought ~
I realize, now, that I did expect something. I felt that it would all come back to me "in the end". I guess I could say "you" are my reward. But, that would imply that I could just sit back and enjoy my "just rewards". Instead, I want to ~ NEED TO ~ be more loving and giving than I've ever been. I am getting all that I give, in return, and it only feeds the fire! I am being rewarded ~ not only by your love ~ but, by MY love!!!!

If, somehow, this all came crashing down around me tomorrow ~ I know that every pain, every struggle, every tiny moment of my life was worth living ~ because I was given the gift of you. Whether we have one year or fifty years ~ I will have known love. Every relationship I have now and in the future (meaning family, friends, etc.) will forever be measured by this love. (Hope that doesn't sound as bad as I think it does!) You know me well enough to understand what I'm saying!

The bottom line is this! HinkawazaHinkawaza I'M USED TO YOU!

Thank you for the most beautiful, wonderful year of my life ~ I promise I will do all that it takes to make each remaining moment we have together even more beautiful and wonderful!

(Now, give me something challenging!)

With all my love and all that I am ~


Yagotta


Yagotta get it soft and wet so we can kick/stick it


yagottalikit 50F
583 posts
7/29/2006 5:33 am

Thanks for tolerating this mush, y'all!!!!! I miss y'all bunches!!!!

Yagotta get it soft and wet so we can kick/stick it


rm_hinkawaza 54M
371 posts
7/29/2006 8:02 am

WOW!!!! I am used to you too Babe!!! I love you with all of my heart, and truly appreciate what you give in return, and I'm ready for the next year, the one after that, and after that...you get the picture!

Now for that challenge...there is always the garage...


rm_anacortes 75M
2850 posts
7/29/2006 8:53 pm

Good luck!!!!


drnick20054 29M

8/20/2006 8:56 am

*Holds up glass* cheers to countless more years of bliss to our blogville buddies


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