Letter To Redneck Son  

wistfuljester 65M
1259 posts
9/2/2006 5:39 am

Last Read:
9/21/2006 9:23 pm

Letter To Redneck Son


Dearest Son

I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home.
Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address because the last
Gander family that lived here took the house numbers
when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice.
It even has a washing machine.
I'm not sure about it.
I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain.
We haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.

Auntie Maude has sent you a pair of socks she knit,
she put a third one in because she heard you have grown
another foot since she last saw you.

About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

Jimmy locked his keys in the car yesterday.
We were really worried because it took him two hours
to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.

Uncle Bobby fell into a whiskey vat last week.
Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated, he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck.
Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back.
They drowned because they couldn't get
the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time.
Nothing much out of the normal has happened.

Your Favorite Aunt,

Mom

rm_PurryKitty2 49M/51F
9753 posts
9/2/2006 5:52 am

LOL!

Purry {=}

Purry


DrSpots 60M

9/2/2006 8:23 am

I find stereotyping of this sort offensive.

You have identified an entire subculture and listed a string of one-liners that insult it. Some of the one-liners were ones I heard first at least thirty years ago. Four of them referred to "Polacks" when I first heard them.

They weren't funny then either.

Oh and by the way, since when are crude jokes about Illiteracy, Incest, Alcoholism, and Mental Incompetence acceptable when directed at ANY culture? Because the culture picked THIS time is White American does that make it acceptable? Very sad.

What's even sadder is that the Political Correct Police don't jump all stuff like this. I was surprised there were no "firearms" jokes.

Allow me: Billy Bob and Jimmy Joe were hunting one day and a beautiful naked woman appeared in the woods. Billy Bob asked the woman if she was "game" to which she responded "yes" so Jimmy Joe Shot her. When I first heard it, it was two Poles. But it suits the redneck motif you have created here with both the implication of mental retardation coupled with the use of firearms. Thank you for allowing me to add to your list of offensive comments to an entire subculture.


wistfuljester replies on 9/2/2006 9:10 am:
You know what? Stick it up your ass sideways. No one invited you to come here.

I happen to BE a redneck, and I'm damned proud of it.

You apparently are unable to grasp the concept that ALL of humanity can be laughable.

Do you also say the same things to Jews who tell Jewish jokes, blacks who tell black jokes, and Hispanics that tell Mexican jokes?

For that matter, I guess your poor ass just prunes right up at the mention of blonde jokes or male-bashing jokes too, doesn't it?

GET A LIFE.


wistfuljester replies on 9/2/2006 9:12 am:
And another thing: I've seen the crazy-assed shit you are constantly pulling in the groups with your multiple profiles. You need serious psychiatric help.

rm_CurvynCuddly 30F
36 posts
9/2/2006 11:28 am

Psh, this is a funny joke. People who want to freak out about it are stupid. They're so bloody convinced that even if something doesn't offend them that it might possibly offend some other group so they simply have to defend that other group. Never mind that the group in question usually has a sense of humour and likes the joke just as much if not better than people not having fun poked at them.

People need to relax and have a laugh, if rednecks found this joke offensive, they're more than capable of standing up and saying so themselves, same as anyone else. PC is stupid and just makes thigs dry boring and not fun.


wistfuljester replies on 9/2/2006 1:57 pm:
It is refreshing to hear someone say that PC is stupid. It has been carried WAY too far. The original purpose was a good one, in that we should care about and respect other people's feelings, and that we should not be prejudiced.

It was not, however, intended to be the complete muzzle on opinions, thoughts, ideas and humor that it has become. How are diverse people ever to become at ease with each other, if we all walk around on eggshells, either afraid of unintentionally giving offense, or being too ready to take offense ourselves?

We all need to laugh at and with ourselves and each other.

Shelly_Marie 45F

9/2/2006 12:43 pm

I agree with curvy. I knew someone who was a WV hillbilly that absolutely loved those jokes and laughed his head off when he heard them.

I really think alot of people just like to disagree with people that they dont like, is all. They should know (out of all the redneck jokes, including Jeff Foxworthy's) that it is meant in good humor, not as an actual insult.


wistfuljester replies on 9/2/2006 1:58 pm:
Yep, Jeff Foxworthy is a great example, and if you look at his audiences, they are usually people with "hillbilly" backgrounds. They wouldn't be there if they didn't like it.

8uallnite6a9 51M

9/2/2006 5:09 pm

Good Joke!


8uallnite6a9 51M

9/2/2006 5:17 pm

Very nice blog you have, Mr. Jester!


wistfuljester replies on 9/2/2006 6:30 pm:
Thank you, sir, and thanks for stopping by!

QueenofBitches69 48F

9/2/2006 11:34 pm

LOVED IT!


wistfuljester replies on 9/3/2006 2:52 am:
Thanks, Sexy! I'm glad.

TechSteve 50M

9/3/2006 2:03 pm

    Quoting DrSpots:
    I find stereotyping of this sort offensive.

    You have identified an entire subculture and listed a string of one-liners that insult it. Some of the one-liners were ones I heard first at least thirty years ago. Four of them referred to "Polacks" when I first heard them.

    They weren't funny then either.

    Oh and by the way, since when are crude jokes about Illiteracy, Incest, Alcoholism, and Mental Incompetence acceptable when directed at ANY culture? Because the culture picked THIS time is White American does that make it acceptable? Very sad.

    What's even sadder is that the Political Correct Police don't jump all stuff like this. I was surprised there were no "firearms" jokes.

    Allow me: Billy Bob and Jimmy Joe were hunting one day and a beautiful naked woman appeared in the woods. Billy Bob asked the woman if she was "game" to which she responded "yes" so Jimmy Joe Shot her. When I first heard it, it was two Poles. But it suits the redneck motif you have created here with both the implication of mental retardation coupled with the use of firearms. Thank you for allowing me to add to your list of offensive comments to an entire subculture.
I have been keeping my eye on you, Mr spots AKA Gryphonscry and several other alias since you have been on this site.

You are nothing but a spammer.

I dont know who is behind that ghost person who reminds everybody what you are, but I think they have you pegged.

Steve


wistfuljester replies on 9/3/2006 6:26 pm:
Your words are true, my friend. However, I think anyone with half a brain knows he's got several loose screws...lmao!

rm_wetfingeraz 55F
3012 posts
9/3/2006 9:02 pm

My friend sent me that a couple of years ago. It is funny, I agree.

Now, if I may contribute a joke to bash my own sub-culture, Irish Catholics:

An old Irishman lay dying. The priest had come and read last rights as the family gathered around sobbing. Everyone had left, and as he lay there, breathing his last, he smelled the most wonderful scent of chocolate chip cookies baking.

With the last of his strenght, he managed to get out of bed and crawl out to the kitchen. The wonderous scent gave him just the strength that he needed to raise his hand up to the plate on the table. He imagined the delicious taste of his favorite treat being his last memory of Earth. Just as he was about to grasp a cookie, his wife smacked his hand away and said, "Fuck off! Those are for the wake!"


wistfuljester replies on 9/3/2006 9:21 pm:
OMG! Too funny!

QueenofBitches69 48F

9/3/2006 9:10 pm

Wow, I found nothing wrong with any of your joke, And I happen to be a Crazy assed, Back woods, redneck, trailer trash, Cracker, Fat, toothless, southern Baptist, Bush lovin, polock!


wistfuljester replies on 9/3/2006 9:22 pm:
Ok; now--what are your BAD qualities? hahaha

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