Killing my own ego  

widowsaddiction 48F
166 posts
5/5/2006 11:00 am

Last Read:
5/22/2006 7:50 pm

Killing my own ego

You know, he told me when we came back together after several years that I had changed. My hair, clothing, my overall appearance and attitude...then he asked what made me change.

He did, of course.

It was my overwhelming sense of "if I were only better, prettier, smarter, richer...THEN he'll want me". I did it better, prettier, smarter, richer.........and nothing has changed.

Except me.

I have realized that he needs me to hate him so that he can walk away from me without feeling guilty for the way he treated me. It's not that he treated me badly...he just ignored me for the most part. He should feel badly for that. I'm a damn good woman...good, pretty, smart and rich...but thanks to the way I feel about him, the way he treats me, I kill any ego I have before it has a chance to develop. That is a blessing.

So now I'm back to the point that I feel if I were just...a....bit...better...

I'm going to go with it. When he walks back into my life again (if ever) I will be more than he can handle.

And more than he deserves.

digdug41 50M

5/5/2006 2:17 pm

You've gotta ask yourself was this dude worth all you went through and if he doesnt want to be with you then go on you sound like you got your shit together, So dont sweat this dude. I haven't read to much of your blog just a few entries and I think you'd be better off to find someone who appreciates you more for who you are not what your status is I dont know dont mean to offend I'm of course on the outside looking in

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

rm_fadentime2 65M

5/18/2006 12:44 am

After reading your ramblings I would say your already more than he deserves. Good Luck. I think you've already figured this out but change for YOU & you'll love the change.

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