wickedeasy 68F  
17275 posts
5/1/2006 3:14 pm

i called my Sir to see how he was feeling. i hate it that he is so far from home and not well.

he spent a few minutes telling me about his night and i said "oh baby, you need to get out of there"meaning only that he needs to be home.

he snapped, "that is not helpful at all"

"i'm sorry"

"then why do you keep saying it?"

well, that was the only time i said it, and my intent was to support. and i know men don't do "ill" all that well, but geeze.

tears sprang to my eyes and i got off the phone quickly.

it is so easy for Him to hurt me - a look, a sigh, a sneer. and this is where i find being his submissive so damn difficult. 'cause what i WANT to do is tell Him to go fuck himself, and i want to run away and cry and be all mad and hurt and righteously bitter.

i won't tho. i will spend an hour or so allowing myself the luxury of being pissed off. and then, i will let it go.


why not? was it his intent to hurt me? or was he just edgy because he is ill? i must presume a positive intent from him always. otherwise i would not be able to surrender to him, to cede control. without that trust, there is no submission - just kinky sex. (mind you, i'm not putting down kinky sex in any way - grins)

i asked a friend who is a Dom to explain what it feels like for Him to use his lady. read NightGuy_1961's blog - he will amaze you with his insight and his openness. He says it makes him drunk with power. and that that power bears enormous responsibility. Intent.

i know my Sir. i know he loves me. and that it is not his intent to hurt me.

i will let it go..............but not yet.
......i still have 37 minutes left to be pissy


You cannot conceive the many without the one.

Nightguy_1961 56M
4866 posts
5/1/2006 4:53 pm

My wicked friend,

Now you know what worries me during my waking hours...a wrong word here, a cross look there...when I'm not paying attention...and the ripple effect is astounding. My lady starts to wonder, "Did I do something wrong?" and she is rightly hurt and upset...and I've least for that being a good Sir/Master.

Something to think about...on both sides of the coin....

NG61...slipping back into the shadows...

wickedeasy replies on 5/1/2006 5:30 pm:
is it any wonder that i adore you

elysianpleasure 49M

5/1/2006 5:29 pm

A very mature attitutde to let it go... even if you give yourself the luxury of an hour. Some people just hold onto stuff forever and let it accumulate one thing on top of the other.

wickedeasy replies on 5/1/2006 5:32 pm:
grins - oh, i used to

but then all you have is a giant pile of little pissy moments

NGs_lady 65F
762 posts
5/2/2006 9:49 am

Why not try talking to him tell him you hurt me. i have found that a lot of times i mistook something he said. i also have found that when you start talking about one thing you might find out a lot more.
Night and i talk about everything and anything you would be surprised to know what i have told him and he has told me

Hugs and love
NGs_lady/Lady Stee

wickedeasy replies on 5/2/2006 11:08 am:
you know i will lady - just not while he is away and not feeling well

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