needing the pain..........  

wickedeasy 68F  
17275 posts
8/10/2006 8:12 am
needing the pain..........

BiPolyBabe is asking about pleasure and pain and how they are interconnected.

i wrote these two blogs a while ago on pain and pleasure - one subjective, one the science of why it's such a turn on. [post 353645] and [post 352046]

but it occurred to me that the question also ties back to Frankl's book - Man's Search for Meaning
so, indulge me while i think aloud.

i am a self proclaimed masochist and i crave pain. i seek it in a variety of ways but the most obvious is the sexual manifestation of this with my D. being restrained, being flogged, whipped, etc. are ways in which i move quickly into trance state and that amazing multi orgasmic tidal wave.

but beyond that - there has always been a part of me that was pained by life or situations or by choice. i believe that in some way, i sought it out for my own purposes. enhancing the moments of joy by experiencing hate torment of suffering that precedes it. Frankl talks about suffering not as an end goal but as a fact of life. and that by giving that suffering some more cosmic or spiritual context in one's life, it allows one to suffer with purpose. and that makes the suffering endurable. he talks about man's need to find some meaning in their existence and that the lack of meaning causes oonological neuroses, separation from the world, depression.

so is pain necessary? we all have read "when bad things happen to good people" and wondered at the plight of a friend, cursed the gods for the death of a loved one, etc. etc. in enduring these times, finding how they connect to your life, intertwine with your purpose and your existence, Frankl suggests that suffering is not only not something to deny, but more, something to embrace. that the suffering can and does lend meaning to one's life. the more simplistic view could be how do you know what joy is, if you haven't suffered despair? the need for a comparative reality is simplistic but useful.

i meditate daily and i will sit on this tomorrow. but for now, my short answer is yes -
pain is necessary

You cannot conceive the many without the one.

AstirRelicLatah 66M
1993 posts
8/10/2006 8:36 am

It's all part of yin and yang. You don't learn and grow by getting it right...You grow and learn by getting it wrong...Sometimes that wrong can be pretty painful....We all have ways of experiencing intensity...for you, it appears bdsm plays an important role, for me it's a total mental connection. We both seem to be looking for the full feeling of life, we just might go about it in different ways, but still looking for the same result. Really thoughtful post. Thanks so much.

wickedeasy replies on 8/10/2006 4:27 pm:
i mention bdsm because BPB's post wasn't clear to me - whether she meant physical pain or existential pain

and while my life is indeed bound (no pun intended) to D's and to the way in which we live and love each other i am less and less inclined to call it bdsm and more and more inclined to call it trust and connection. ana and i argue about this all the time -

thanks skier - always good to hear from you - makes me think it along a bit - hugs

Theflinkychick 107F

8/10/2006 11:27 am

Pain is part of life. I suppose I must have enough of it in my life in other areas because pain in a sexual situation will cause my physical responses to shut down in a heartbeat. What a wide variety of human responses there are and it was interesting to read a different point of view. That's one of the best things about reading blogs here. Thanks...

Not all who wander are lost.

wickedeasy replies on 8/10/2006 4:32 pm:
you are most welcome

ButteryDelight 60F

8/10/2006 11:38 am

Pleasure in itself brings about pain. The pleasure of seeing a newborn baby for the first time brings a twinge of pain as I remember my own.

Pleasure's all apart of being human.

Buttery Delight

wickedeasy replies on 8/10/2006 4:33 pm:
ah BD - the intertwining - the circle

coming back to the where you began and knowing it for the first time

pokes ana - see!!!

Panthiest 74M

8/10/2006 1:15 pm

I had always been agaisnt giving or receiving pain as there is enoughpain in the world already - spo why create more? But the last woman I was with changed that a bit. She liked being restrianed and spanked and hard on occasion. At first it wasn't easy for me to do, but then it became more of a job. I would watch carefully and apply just the right force. When I would enter her body - she would be far more senstized and her orgazms where often very strong.
Now I think the way to go (in these cases) would be to switch places to keep the balance.
It is better to give than recieve doens't seem to measure up here. Could you see yourself "giving" or only "receiving"

wickedeasy replies on 8/11/2006 8:20 am:
grins - seems like you all got stuck on the sexual and i got stuck on the existential - smirk

it was difficult for D to inflict pain on me at first. but as time went by and He became more sensitized to me, He not only could feel the need in me, he oculd feel the need in Himself. pain is never used to discipline - i enjoy it too much - discipline for me is deprivation.

re: the "switch" thing - i have gone there in my life. seeking someone to release me, i often found those needing release. i am capable of doing it. but to be frank, it just doesn't float my boat.

MaggiesWishes 61F

8/10/2006 8:23 pm

Well.... I have to go along with ya ... ya know I'm a (Diva In Training) The reason I know this, it says so on my profile.

I'll all about studies, resources, experiences, friends and being open enough to know the difference. What two people bound together as a couple, that is trust and that's the key to pleasure pain.

I'm still under the weather with my earache. I'm sorry Sis.
I'll do better tomorrow.

warm huggies 2ya

wickedeasy replies on 8/12/2006 5:18 am:
get better mags - please

rm_CuummDrop 50F
2591 posts
8/10/2006 9:49 pm

Yes!! Yes!! YES!!!

Now won't last forever, so use it wisely~c

wickedeasy replies on 8/12/2006 5:19 am:
oh yes!

FrankPicasso 53M

8/11/2006 5:40 am

I can see how spiritual awareness and the notion of "letting go" can enable you to utilize pain as a vehicle for intensifying your pleasure. On a separate note, I once had this real bad foot cramp during a particularly intense orgasm. I shook my foot in an effort to get rid of the cramp, and the orgasm increased in intensity. But it was my wife's orgasm. See, she has this foot fetish ...

wickedeasy replies on 8/11/2006 8:23 am:
i adore your wife

can i have her?

free2chose2 67F

8/11/2006 7:48 am

Pain--------------I've had enough dirt dragging earth shaking physical/emotional/pyschological pain that I only seek pleasure and pray no pain comes as its sidebar

Don't worry, be Happy

wickedeasy replies on 8/11/2006 8:23 am:

wickedeasy 68F  
31329 posts
8/11/2006 8:22 am

    Quoting rm_anabella:
    wicked easy wrote..."now step back out of my head girl - "


You cannot conceive the many without the one.

MamChelle 49F
1443 posts
8/11/2006 7:21 pm

For is! i get to a point where i feel disconected, and the pain seems to reconect my inner and outer emotions. Too long without and on the sexual realm...i get depressed and insecure with the Dominants... i begin to wonder whats wrong... *sighs*

wickedeasy replies on 8/12/2006 5:20 am:
hugs CHelle - i know what you mean -

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