October Walk  

whoknew411 43M
160 posts
10/2/2005 7:20 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

October Walk

Last night I went to see Bathtub Mary at La Cocina in Pittsfield. Before the band started a guy came up to me, we sat for a few moments discussing music and such. He was Phil from the band, I didn't catch a last name. He seemed like a genuinely nice person.

The band got on stage and began to play. I usually walk to the bar because I like to drink. As the evening wore on I was situated next to a group who'd just come from a wedding. A heavyset girl and I began chatting and I warmed up a little.

I was only able to stay for a single set, the band seemed to be picking up some heat just as I left. Out the door, past the hospital. The night was cold enough to walk briskly.

Pittsfield is quiet this time of year. The wind reminds everyone that a hard cold winter approaches. The girls in the bar are farther away. They even smell different, everyone is gathering their firewood and pulling covers closer. The trees haven't turned yet but the first freeze occurred late Friday night.

I'm starting to feel frozen myself. It's been far too long since I felt a woman. It's funny, if I were to find someone now, I... It's strange even writing it down.

I have this blind faith that there is someone out there who I'd be the perfect guy for. It's ridiculous in a way, the chance that I'd love someone and they'd love me. There are so many reasons to fall out of love, so much opportunity for conflict and separation.

I'm sure most everyone here has found out at one point or perhaps many points in their lives that love isn't enough to make a relationship work. Love is not enough. Love is the easy part, all the other shit is what makes people opt out.

How anyone falls in love is beyond me. It's cold in October. The wind saps the energy from me, snow will come soon and we'll all be wrapped in the blankets we can find. The pretty girls will have found their men, the routine of winter life will settle the spirit. I will come home after driving a million miles and there will be leftovers in the fridge.

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