Are Men are Like Mascara?  

watchmesquirm 47F  
95 posts
10/31/2005 1:40 pm

Last Read:
8/14/2017 7:50 am

Are Men are Like Mascara?

I can't tell you the number of times people have expressed surprise that I am single. I quite honestly am surprised by it too. I think I am a pretty fly chick. I am happy and well adjusted, smart and independent, fun and friendly, secure in myself (I don't need a man to save my life) and last but certainly not least I am very sexual (my man will be gettin' sum a LOT!).

So, why is it that I haven't clicked with anyone long term? I am the queen of the 1's. 1st dates and 1 month relationships. Why is it? Well I am going to ask all of you to help me decide if perhaps my communication style might be influencing the situation I am in.

I personally believe that it should be possible for lovers to share their deeper feelings with one another. If I dig you then I dig you and you are going to know it. If I care about you and have romantic feelings for you I don't really do a lot to conceal those feelings. I am a passionate woman. It is one of the things that draws people to me. To hide what I am feeling for you just wouldn't be ME.

Please trust me- I am a rational non-crazy person. Also know that I am not suggesting that I have deep feelings of love for every Tom, Dick and Harry (okay, well maybe every Dick ) but if I am spending a significant amount of time with someone and have an intimate relationship with them I am opening myself up to having feelings for them and being open about the feelings I am having always feels right to me.

Here is the rub. These feelings in no way indicate that I feel it is time to move it up to the next stage in the relationship. We do not have to move in together, you don't have have to put a ring on my finger... there will be no date to set! I think it is possible to have loving feelings for more than one person as a matter of fact! So, tell me this. Is this a relationship "no-no" - to share feelings outside of a commitment? How soon is too soon to share the things in your heart and head?

I would really value your perspective on this. What are your thoughts?


Men are like mascara, they run at the first sign of emotion

allgood4u2000 45M
1 post
11/13/2005 7:39 am

I am sorry for your 1's because you sound interesting.I think it is good to show and tell your feelings for people if you are liking them. I wonder if the way you do it might be overwhelming. Do you tell them all the time or once in awhile so they know it? Sometimes people will feel suffocated if you over do it and will have the tendency to flee or run. As far as is it a "no-no" to share feelings outside of a commitment I would have to say "yes" unless it is agreed upon that it is an open relationship to be seeing other people. I hope this may help


watchmesquirm 47F  
99 posts
11/13/2005 6:23 pm

I am certain that I don't over do it. It seems that there are certain dating games that I don't have the rule book to. And even if I did, I wouldn't be likely to follow them.

As for the overwhelming/ suffocating feeling you refer to, I have been on the receiving end of that, not so much fun... especially when I don't return the feelings.

Thanks for your thoughts allgood4u2000!


rm_scoutdog1000 54M

3/15/2006 9:00 am

I thought that I was reading my own bio!I have the same problem with women.I date alot and the problem usually is with me.Out of 40 women in the last 3 years,I have had second dates with 5.I don't think that the problem is yours.There are certain expectations and principles that we all have and are generally unwilling to compromise.For instance,if you are touchy,feely and your partner is not,there would be a tendency to feel neglected or unwanted.It all boils down to simple, open communication.Good luck!

watchmesquirm 47F  
99 posts
3/25/2006 7:32 pm

scoutdog- thanks so much for commenting! I am sorry I missed your post until today - your very first post at that! Thanks for making it mine.

I agree with what you say. Communication is key.


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