Blogging About Bloggers  

warmandsexy52 66M
7186 posts
8/20/2006 12:56 pm

Last Read:
8/27/2006 1:09 am

Blogging About Bloggers

I’m not going to drop a single name in this post. My guess is you’ll figure out why.

Do you remember when you first started blogging? Despite the brain damage that has happened to me as a result of poring over a computer for hours on end in the eternal catch-up I do. I was a newbie to Blogland, and to AdultFriendFinder in general, and quite in awe of what was going on.

And the first comments. There’s somebody out there! They like what I’ve written! And the hook is there that leads you on this creative road to perdition.

Quite soon on the journey you figure out how to find other bloggers. That’s quite daunting. Some are very popular and have a large number of comments and I remember being a little in awe of these “blog-gods”. So I left the occasional comment and blogged on. Gradually, bit by bit I became familiar with the territory and how it broadly worked ‒ there are still all sorts of quirks and mysteries, but hey, it wouldn’t be blogland without them.

Bit by bit I had a small number of other bloggers who came and read my stuff, I’d read theirs and it grew almost imperceptibly. And bit by bit I started coming across other bloggers. Much as I wanted the whole world to read my blog the reality was different, and I got used to being a small time blogger in a big domain. I realised too that bloggers tended to form loose clusters, and it seemed to be that some much greater and mightier bloggers had clusters that seemed a bit intimidating to a newbie blogger.

One of the key reasons why they were intimidating was that they were often cross-referring, with pics of their favourite bloggers and so on. On one level they were very public exhibitions of friendship, but on another they came across as being cliquey, and by way of that, exclusive.

So I decided in general to avoid blogging about bloggers. I will occasionally mention a post and a blogger that has impressed me or I want to draw attention to on the basis of merit, but always in the context of the blog I am writing. I have dedicated material occasionally, but I do so cautiously, because I actually think it's best to be discreet. I have played the odd game, when I've been drawn into it, but it’s not a preferred activity.

You see if I name my five favourite bloggers, what about the sixth, the seventh? I have a bit of a problem with that, and as I saw recently, what if a blogger is named or photo ID’d, who actually doesn’t want to be? And are there inadvertent mistakes that could occur through indiscretion and name-dropping? You see, there are all sorts of subplots that are happening in Blogland, and maybe it is my English reserve shining through but I have this thing of not wanting to keep on tasting my toes. And I don’t want to get drawn into a “who’s hot and who’s not” scenario.

But then I’ve got to pinch myself and remind myself where I am. A.F.F. is a truly vulgar site. There’s nothing exclusive about it. And I’ve got to view Blogland as being much the same. There are wonderful writers in Blogland but it would be the height of pretentiousness to say we were a high class writers’ forum and nothing else. I’m glad that we’re not, because it is the very vulgarity of this site, its raw humanity (not to mention humanity in the raw!) that spurs the creativity and allows for the richness of material. Now on that score the analogy I have got is not some library where people go “shhhhhhhh!” every time you say something like “Oh wow!” when you find an amazing book. It’s more like the magazine shelves at a newsagents or book stores. Now there are all sorts of magazines there, some for minority interests, like collecting model steam locos, knitting and tracking your family history (this week’s feature …. Are you related to Queen Elizabeth, and if not why not? ….. kinda thing), and they sell a limited number. But the magazines that really sell have titles like “Hello!”, “Heat”, “Star”, “First”, “New!” and “Now” and sell gossip ……. Pure gossip.

Now there is real interest in gossip, a kind of social voyeurism ‒ an irrational “need to know.” It’s probably the same reason why some people slow down by motorway accidents so they can take a look. What’s that all about …… if you can’t do anything about it there’s nothing to be gained from staring and potentially crashing your own car. But people do. Lots of people do! So that trait probably exists in us all to a greater or lesser degree. It’s inquisitiveness, human curiosity, and was probably very important in the survival of the species.

And that’s where blogging about other bloggers comes into its own. Come on, let’s be honest, on a psychological level at least we’re all exhibitionists to some degree. We’re interested in whether people read our stuff, not just numbers, but who they are, and those secondary interactions we have make us interested in who they are and what they’re doing. That’s how we make friends here. So when someone else’s business comes on the line we get involved.

And that’s how dramas begin.

The question then is with whom do you get involved ….. and how? Well, if it is a close friend you might well get involved, but I really mean close friend ‒ I don’t mean a fellow blogger you might have commented on a few times. Almost certainly that will be support that will have been discussed, offered and accepted on a personal level. How has also got to be considered. On the whole I believe in the low key. In some cases it might simply be a comment, in others and e-mail, occasionally a referral to the blog-police at A.F.F. Central (You know, that big virtual building in downtown Blogville). Every now and again an open post is appropriate. Well-wishing, saying farewell ……… it’s nice to open post on stuff like that. Other stuff like whether someone’s a fake or not, who’s right to slag off who, for the most part isn’t.

You see, there are no hard lines here…..

Every now and again there is going to be trouble, isn’t there?

Back to the gossip magazines ……..

………….. and the concept of celebrity. I knew a very ordinary teenager who by certain twists of fate has become one of the best known celebrities in Britain. I still see her from time to time. She’s a very nice young woman now and I’m pleased life has been good to her ‒ she sure needed a break. Enough said ‒ I promised not to name-drop. I am amazed by the obsession the general public have in my friend’s life. Every small detail of it. I don’t have that much interest and I know her! Celebrity is a bizarre phenomenon where interest builds on interest and amplifies itself. It is a media phenomenon. Before mass media there simply weren’t celebrities as we understand them today. People make large sums of money out of creating gossip around every trivial element of their lives and they wouldn’t be doing so if social voyeurism wasn’t such a real phenomenon.

With celebrity there is also another strange trait. That of the celebrity assuming a meaning in your own life. Why do people’s emotions rise and fall around the Big Brother house if this isn’t so? It is as if a basic need to care for someone else, once released inside tribal groups and extended families, is being triggered. Irrational but understandable. And as bloggers’ identities become impressed upon us so beyond the immediate circle of friends and cyberfriends we start to identify with other bloggers in a similar way. Being social animals it gives us a sense of belonging.

Which is all well and good ……..

………….. but has its dangers. Blogland has a very mixed community and some bloggers occasionally are a little careless in what they say and how they say it. There are no rules about how to behave in Blogland, barring a few safeguards of one sort and another by A.F.F. nor should there be. So we run the risk of some things being said that shouldn’t be said, and others using the open post as the means of responding to it when perhaps there are more appropriate ways. The next thing is a chain reaction as lots of bloggers want too identify with a situation that they are not directly involved in, or even have a close friend involved in. But that human phenomenon of wanting to belong kicks in, as we tag along with an identity we know something about, and feel that we should know something about and have a stake in the social group.

Because of the A.F.F. List the further up a blogger is the more likely s/he is to both cause and be part of dramas. There is a blog-celeb phenomenon where others want association with a form of cyberfame. This is a fame that does not earn a penny, but within the frame of Blogland you bet your sweet bippy it’s for real.

So where does that leave us? Well we do seem to have dramas that seem to flare up with all the passions of a junior high school corridor. They come and they go. They do reveal some pretty interesting things about ourselves as human beings. Some bloggers for sure remain discreet, and in some cases serene and don’t seem touched by it all. They also, interestingly enough, tend to be pretty restrained about what they blog about and how they link their blogs to others’. For those who get drawn into the fray, some learn from the experience and take a step back, others seem to enjoy such inward-looking interactions, and others yet again just stumble into the whole thing (often these are new to Blogland).

Is there a cure? I don’t think so, nor do I think posts like this are likely to change much. I think it’s part of the price that we pay for freedom of expression, which means that people will express themselves in ways that I wouldn’t. It is one of the biggest mistakes to assume that everyone else follows the same personal ‘rules of living’ that each of us does.

Should we blog about bloggers? Much as I think there’s so much else to write about I see it as inevitable. There are times when maybe we should blog about other bloggers, But if we all just take a little more care and sensitivity about others then maybe next time things will be just a little less dramatic..

As Colonel Jessep says in ‘A Few Good Men’: “The truth? You can’t handle the truth.”

Maybe we’re not good at handling the untruths either.

Blog on my friend, and may your blogmuse be with you.

Picture: “Voyeur” by Horst Siegler

sunshinekzn 59F

8/25/2006 9:43 pm

If I had read this before writing my last blog, that blog would not have seen the light of day. Now its posted and what I wrote came from my heart so I hope that people will not mind being named in my blog.

You write so well, keep up the
good work.

warmandsexy52 replies on 8/27/2006 1:06 am:
Your post was such a nice tribute to other bloggers who had had a particular impact on you. It would have ben a shame not to post it. I think it is all a matter of balance. I do mention other bloggers myself if I feel they have something to offer, or as a tribute or dedication. I think it's a nice thing to do.

warm xx

tenorsaxxman 67M

8/25/2006 8:27 pm

First, as an artist myself, Bravo on giving credit to the creator of the pic you chose for this post! Jolly good show old chap.
Second - I started reading this post this morning but didn't have time to finish it before I had to leave for work (some piece of work there . . . .). I have now read it and find it to be the usual intelligent analysis that I have come to expect from you. I haven't a clue personally what is going on in Blogland, but have seen many of my friends hurt by it and therefore it affects me and I have posted accordingly, not with names.
Third - it's late . . . . ciao. Saxman


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/26/2006 5:24 pm:
Thanks for the praise Saxman. I think crediting others is fine, and dedicating to others is too, but games with names folks need to be careful about. Behind the smokescreen of words real people dwell like you and I.


starlight_runner 40F

8/25/2006 4:22 pm

my guess is you know Chantelle too.


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/26/2006 5:21 pm:
Thanks for visiting, Star. I've enjoyed visiting your blog, but I'm really intrigued about Chantelle. Do tell ..... warm is nothing if not curious.

warm xx

fantasylover_05 63M

8/25/2006 12:38 pm

Well I agree with you on refraining from posting "lists of my favorites" because there simply are too many to list (though based on the length of this post perhaps not LOL kidding) and I would hate to slight anyone I forgot or ran out of room to list etc....

I am however guilty of linking to other bloggers and posts upon occassion and here is why....

First we all post our blogs for different reasons.. self help.. simply a place to express ourselves.. ask advice... teh popularity aspect.. but what ever that may be... we KNOW this is a public place and our writings can and will be read.. in fact that is in MOST cases the very reason for posting them rather than simply writing them in a notebook... so I contend we WANT to be read (even if we are not seeking the popularity numbers we still wish to share ourselves)...

Secondly.... by linking to another post I inherently convey to you what is important or interesting or humorous or something I wish you to know... I thereby give you another avenue to understanding me and what means something to me

Also I always wish to give credit where credit is due! If someone inspired me to write something.. I wish them and everyone else to know that.. so I will indeed credit them with it

I also do so simply to share something in hopes of helping people... be that the original writer or the reader... there are sooo many amazing stories and writers here that we can HELP each other to understand we are not alone is what we have or are dealing with in our lives and that is a HUGE part of the healing powers of this SEX site!!! LOL

Okay.. so sue me.. my comment is ALMOST aslong as your post! LOL LOL

This is indeed a VERy good post Warm!!


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/26/2006 11:49 am:
And this is a really brilliant comment fantasylover. Kudos to you my friend - it is worthy of being a post in its own right. So many insights and so many resonances. Thank you.


catkit13 68F

8/23/2006 10:49 pm

hi, i'm cat - just found your blog/profile thru mzhuny, and thought i'd stop by and say hi! yep, there has been some drama lately in blogville, but since i've no clue who's on first in the junior high drama, i stayed out of it
feel free to stop by and say hi to me, if you'd like
ain't blogging grand?

warmandsexy52 replies on 8/26/2006 11:22 am:
Thank you for dropping by, cat. Blogging is grand and I've really enjoyed visiting yours.

warm xx

Hydragenias 57F

8/23/2006 4:17 pm

just one more thing....

I think we should behave towards people online with the same civility as we would do so "in the flesh."


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/26/2006 7:04 am:
TY ....

I really believe this.

warm xx

Hydragenias 57F

8/23/2006 4:16 pm

WONDERFUL post! I hate drama and I try to avoid it at all costs.
Simply being on "the list" does not cause people to dislike you or want to cause you trouble. Take MzHuny for example, the Queen of all bloggers! always at the top of the list and always will be I'm sure. You never see her involved in drama.

warmandsexy52 replies on 8/26/2006 7:03 am:
Thank you Hydragenias and thank you for visiting my blog. You are right. Simply being on "the list" is not an issue. There are many reasons why a blogger should be high up on the list ...... all the reasons why someone else might want to read and comment on someone else's blog. There may be issues with those who will do anything to increase their popularity to get up there, including dropping unsolicited invites into comment boxes and active comment-making on new blogs with the sole intention of buiding up numbers, but to be honest even this is no big deal when all is said and done.

Neither you nor MzHuny are into name-dropping or stirring up the pot to get noticed - you are noticed and that is how it is. Numbers are always less important than being in touch with those whose presence here you value. Quality matters so much more than quantity, but it is a feature of human nature that somehow numbers are seen as being more significant. It is true for academic research, so there is little wonder to me here that numbers have an alluring effect here.

warm xx

moonfire2u 71F
2602 posts
8/22/2006 6:14 pm

I love the way you think and express yourself...I totally agree and have felt much the same way...this site is all about freedom of expression...and no...we won't like what everyone says or does on this site...but it isn't up to us to censor someone else either...or gang up on them...this place has reminded me of high school too many times...I love blogland...I am absolutely thrilled when people leave comments on my blog and I am very fond of some of the people on here...especially people like you...

kind thoughts,

warmandsexy52 replies on 8/26/2006 5:23 am:
One of the beauties of blogland is its sheer humanity. For the most part it is not phoney, but all too real, and you could argue that even those who do not behave at their best are in some ways being human too. So long live the freedom and may we never be sanitised. I can see the need to prevent deception, but there is a difference between a community watch scheme and a vigilante mob in how we respond. Generally I think in the grand scheme of things these things are no big deal - abuse of this friendly site can after all always be reported.

I think comments are if anything more enjoyable than simply writing the posts. They are so interactive, build up online realtionships and often throw a totally new light on things. I have always looked forward to your comments and visiting your own blog and I have valued your friendship. Long may it continue, dear moonfire. {=}

warm xx

SweetDarlinAngel 41F
2996 posts
8/21/2006 8:49 am

Something has certainly upset my darling, I hope that whatever / whomever it was calm those feathers quickly so that you my blog easy again very soon.


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/26/2006 3:09 am:
I had been meaning to write something about this for a while sweetie. Every now and again these very inward-looking dramas appear and I was curious about why they should occur, because I do suspect it is very much to do with human nature and how we come to terms with that on this site. I'm so glad you've made a return "from oblivion" and all that that entailed. And of course I do look forward to what you blog next.

hugs and kisses

warm xx

__Huntress__ 56M/59F

8/21/2006 5:49 am

My blog is the one place in the world I can go and write ... it is the one place I can go and not be scorned because of its content and yet still remain somewhat anonymous. It is often my little corner of the world where I find peace, where I can exchange words with those like me in some way and it is my source of inspiration.

Every once in awhile I venture out among blogland, then find myself discouraged when I come across the "drama-seekers" and quickly retreat to my little corner here. I will respond to those who seem to be in some pain, or who have something to say that I can relate to, or who have honored me by visiting my blog ... but the numbers mean nothing to me ...

You are among one of my favorites, you have a voice that attempts to make a difference in the lives of those you touch ... and I have no qualms in telling you how very much I admire you ...


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/26/2006 2:54 am:
There is a wonderful integrity in your blog. When you call upon other bloggers you always do so with warmth, affection and total respect for who they are, the quality of their writing and what they evoke.

And you know the admiration is mutual.{=}

warm xx

TabithaElectra 39F

8/21/2006 1:52 am

Excellent food for thought to digest alongside my morning coffee...

warmandsexy52 replies on 8/26/2006 2:18 am:
Thanks Tabs. Mine's Costa Rican ... what's yours.

warm xx

goodatpoetry2 68M
16569 posts
8/20/2006 10:16 pm

Some dramas I really don't care about, but I do appeciate when someone exposes the fakes. Either fake people or fake/stolen writing.
That produces drama, but needed drama, I think.

warmandsexy52 replies on 8/26/2006 1:53 am:
I agree that fakes cause a lot of problems and this site has a problem with that. I don't have an easy answer to that. A.F.F. shouldn't have too many restrictions, because they curtail freedom of expression and it would definitely have an impact on this site. I remember at least three dramas when A.F.F. did come down on bloggers for breaches of the rules that some thought were insufficiently serious to merit being blocked from blogging, for example. The trouble is that if you allow for freedoms then, humans being what they are, you open the doors for abuse.

You could argue that in exposing fakes we are self-policing and that is fine, so long as the cyberpack doesn't start baying for blood and virtual hysteria doesn't kick in.

Unoriginal material is a tricky one. I would say that 90% of jokes here have previously appeared as spam or can be easily found on websites. The academic tradition is you can write anything from any source, so long as you give the source the credit if it is possible. I find that's a good rule to blog by.


rm_sexxikritter 53F
2715 posts
8/20/2006 9:15 pm

You never cease to amaze me.
While I agree about linking to other blogs, etc. I also know that there are times when I read something very powerful and I need to share it. My thinking is that my readers may not read that blog and therefore I am exposing them to writing that means something to me.
I also think that when playing a blog game, credit should be given to the blogger from where it originated. So, I am guilty. And I shall continue to be, within reason.


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/25/2006 12:53 am:
Guilty as charged - your sentence will be sixteen words long and contain links to two other bloggers!

I think if we all showed this kind of sense there wouldn't be any problems.

warm xx

lustcurious42 58F

8/20/2006 6:56 pm

I have noticed what has been going on in blogland, and I'm glad you have written this. I hope that I never fall victim to belittling another and I admire those bloggers who don't do get into the drama. My simple approach to this all is that if someone offends me, if I don't like what they write about or if I think they are fake, how simple just to choose not to go back and read their blog.

warmandsexy52 replies on 8/24/2006 11:26 am:
Thanks for visiting, lustcurious. You have a good approach and I've enjoyed visiting your blog ....... and I've commented .... not just snooped!

warm xx

digdug41 50M

8/20/2006 3:06 pm

Hey warm I guess I am one of those who has started some drama and I do so coz I just dont like bullshit, just like in the real world people will tell ya how they feel. I do so on my blog, I know I need to be more tactful about it, I am trying but you see I put myself out there and anyone who wants to get at me, can. I expose all of my vulnerabilities thats why I come at people the way I do, I understand where your coming from and yes people have a thirst to know things that dont really make their lives better or worse just goes to show how people wanna one up each other to make them selves feel better

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

warmandsexy52 replies on 8/23/2006 3:13 pm:
Digdug my friend, you could never be accused of name-dropping. There is a naturalness about your blog and an honesty I really respect. I like the way you say things as they are, and if you do name another blogger then it's totally in context, as far as I can tell.


CB_2 52F

8/20/2006 2:25 pm

Warm, as ever, I am humbled by your perception and ability to frame a cogent, sensible argument. Every time I read anything of yours outside your poetry, I think I just might as well give up posting anyting on my blog other than my stories. Instead, I should just link to your blog!

So right, in every detail. Wish I'd written it.


PS Go on, tell - who's your friend? (whisper whisper)

Blogito ergo sum.

warmandsexy52 replies on 8/23/2006 12:54 am:
Thank you CB2. Such kind words.

~but I'm still not telling!~

I think we all have views of value. I have certainly gained from your blog.

warm xx

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