Dear Want_a_bite, Please Help Me  

want_a_bite 58F
209 posts
5/1/2006 7:30 pm

Last Read:
5/3/2006 8:03 am

Dear Want_a_bite, Please Help Me


This is tomorrow's post, written today. Right after I posted "My Agenda" including the bit about better communication, this happens. I get one or two emails a week like this from men to whom I've explained my "no". I feel sorry for them, and usually write back.
hi u seem like a nice person and honest.that i can respect.maybe u can help me out a little?? is there something about me or something i write in profile or something i do not write??or is it just my looks that i need to fix? i am stiff in the pics on my profile do not enjoy having my pic taken. i have been out of the dating game some 26 yrs. WAS MARRIED A LONG TIME.not any more.i have been here since oct 2005 and get zero response on here. could u please coach me a little on what i am doing wrong.

Hi RD
To start off with, most women dig smarts. So punctuate your emails, capitalize your I's and spell out u as you. And use the spell checker on a f f . All 4 of your pictures are shot from the same distance and angle. I'd suggest a closeup of your face, and delete the black tank top picture. You look better in the blue shirt.

Most importantly, understand that there are almost 20 times more men here than women. Say something in your email headline to stand out from the rest, and don't make it sexual. It can be something silly like "Bagels & cream cheese". Make your closeup face picture visible; almost nobody does this. Showing your face makes you look like you've got nothing to hide, that you are the gentleman you say you are. Go into more detail about your hobbies.

If this site isn't working for you, practice approaching women in grocery stores, at church; join a yoga class or a walking group. Chat with the checkout girl. Whenever you walk into a Walmart or drug store, practice asking EVERY saleswoman you see, "Where are the condoms", even if you're not buying condoms. You need to get over being shy.

Your sections on My Ideal Person and sexual fantasies need a grammar check. In general, tell women things they can't object to (like "I'm a gentleman", "I like doing the dishes" ) and are unlikely to misinterpret. Don't mention "kinky" stuff unless that's an absolute requirement for you. I liked your phrase "Let's start out with a date, no expectations."

Good luck in your search.
W.

dankos2069 56M

5/1/2006 8:50 pm

To take the time to respond and help the guy out says alot about you. I will thank you for him.


Seriously_Real 49M

5/2/2006 12:36 am

No, but seriously, I want to know: Where ARE the condoms?

--Seriously


rm_truedom2 57M
663 posts
5/2/2006 3:55 am

Lets start out with a date...no expectations


rm_truedom2 57M
663 posts
5/2/2006 3:56 am

I really just want my apple core back.


want_a_bite 58F

5/2/2006 3:59 am

    Quoting elbman:
    I'm a gentle man.....I like doing the dishes...how the soap feels when I clean the bunt cake pan....warm, soothing between ...errr...

    (It was a nice response though)
Ohhhh, Elbman. Are you tryin' to make me all excited. Your hands on the bunt cake pan.... squeeezing the soapy bubbles out of the sponge....reaching slowly for the sprayer... pulling it out.... while pressing your self hard against the counter top... running the sprayer back and forth over the pans..... the water soooooo hot.... glistening as it runs along your yellow Playtex dish gloves. Ohhhhhh, Elbman, you do it sooooo good.


want_a_bite 58F

5/2/2006 6:35 am

    Quoting Seriously_Real:
    No, but seriously, I want to know: Where ARE the condoms?

    --Seriously
You cutie you, but practice is good. You'll find where I keep condoms in today's post. I just spend 20 minutes drawing yellow dishwashing gloves onto Elbmans' arms; damn, now I realize I don't know how to post that image here and don't want to put it up in the main area. Oh well, maybe he'll write me someday and I'll zing him back. Or maybe I'll shell out some bucks for a silver memb; why are you gold, what's the advantage? Actually, you're too busy writing about more important stuff; I'll figure it out in the help screens.


JustaSeeker 107F

5/2/2006 11:28 am

That was wonderful advice. So many of the men just don't know how to go about this, and lots of us try to help them. I'm glad you're one of the good ones. They have enough people out there tearing them to shreds.


MOfunNOWWOW 56F

5/2/2006 9:31 pm

Applause for you and for being a playful and constructive at the same time. Like the read. {=}


MOMO
just a squirrel trying to get a nut


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