Men who have Sex with Men  

waggypolly 73F
7449 posts
9/10/2005 6:30 pm

Last Read:
8/21/2006 6:27 am

Men who have Sex with Men

(Once again I can’t use my mailbox. Apologies to friends I can’t reach; I can only think about you!)

This site lists, among the gender options, bi and bi-curious. I think bi-curious is a rather useful term because it doesn’t commit anyone to anything. Some people want to explore things they’ve not done yet and may turn out not to be for them; this lets them off the hook.

There is another group of of not bi people I am aware of. The health professions refer to them as MSM, men who have sex with men. Many of these men, even though they are sexually active with other men do not think of themselves as gay, or even bi. If we think of sexual orientation in terms of what people do to have sex with members of both sexes and claim one is not bi is contradictory; but if we think of it in terms of self-identity, how people see themselves, then we have to respect what they say about themselves. Such a man once said to me, “I don’t identify as bi because I don’t have relationships with men, I only have sex with them. I have sex and relationships with women, thus I consider myself heterosexual”.

Now I anticipate, a number of comments which will say, “he’s got himself wrong, he obviously is bi.” To me, that’s not the point. I’m interested in how people think about themselves. Are there some people reading this who can go deeper and help me understand this orientation?

This is Polly, still Wagging
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rm_jayesh444 51M/45F
13 posts
9/10/2005 10:31 pm

you are write polly. It is a complex subject you are trying to investigate. It is due to conditioning of people by society that males feel the way you found out. Every one is bi at times some could express it others could not. Male like playing with their cocks at all times. Boys do it with boys/with girls even with animals birds and with their own body(hands). Starve a man of sex and experiment the way you want. But it is no different with girls. I have experimented with this subject quite a lot. Donot bother play around and enjoy the way you like.

Philosophy_N_Sex 50M/48F

9/11/2005 1:54 pm

Actions speak louder than words.

Well maybe the prison thing.. No women locked up with men, so straight guys to the man/man thing for some relief. Once out of the slammer they return to exclusivly herto activity..

Good topic, more complex than meets the eye!

rm_kitamarou 58M
75 posts
9/12/2005 8:20 am

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Theflinkychick 107F

9/12/2005 4:13 pm

Polly, I understand what you are saying. I think I would just say that these men are hedonists and are able to let the fact that it feels good be reason enough to indulge with another man. There wouldn't be any emotion invovled as there would be if it were a sexual attraction or a relationship.

Not all who wander are lost.

ProtonicMan 49M

9/12/2005 8:45 pm


A thought-provoking post. I have never considered myself bi, although I guess I fall in the bi-curious category. One of the reasons that I haven't done anything about it yet is because I donate blood regularly. With the concerns and restrictions on the U.S. blood supply, I think I would be disqualified if I answered "yes" to the question "Are you a man who has had sex, even once, with another man since 1977?"

As for your question, I don't know that the label really matters. Whatever a person wants to do is fine with me, so long as it doesn't hurt someone else in the process.


rm_gent258 69M
486 posts
9/13/2005 5:56 am

These men are what are known in the United States as being on the downlow; however, they deceive not only themselves, they deceive their wives and girlfriends. Actually, they are bisexual. I am not being judgmental; I say to each his own. Yet one should be honest. According to Alfred Kinsey, human sexual orientation is not black and white; there is a continuum from 1-6 and people during a lifetime move over this continuum.

LoveHandles686 69M

9/13/2005 5:02 pm

Darn it, I was wrong again. For 2 months I have listed myself as bi-sexual because I thought they were asking how I got sex. I thought bi was shorthand for buy.

sleeplessknight1 69M

9/16/2005 5:14 am

If only I could say what I really think.....

Personally I am a lesbian... I only like women

brightblonde3 59F

9/19/2005 1:28 pm

Is there is a person alive who can honestly say he/she has no curiosity...just pure curiosity...about sex with the oppposite sex?


brightblonde3 59F

9/19/2005 1:32 pm

Oops..left out a word or two there...."about sex with both the same sex and the opposite sex."

In other words, we're all curious about all possibilities, regardless of our particular so-called sexual orientation...and I'm befuddled and need afternoon java. Bye!

BB3 (Befuddled Blonde 3)

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