I Want to be More Open  

waggypolly 73F
7449 posts
4/21/2006 2:21 am

Last Read:
7/14/2006 5:40 pm

I Want to be More Open

Some people look into your eyes and when they speak you know it is straight from their hearts. Others ‒ like me ‒ glance away, prevaricating in some way.

Yesterday I was feeling out of sorts and I looked deep into my friend’s eyes and communicated my misery without words. He hugged me, and as I hugged him back the “thank you” that came from my lips traced a direct route from my heart. A rare moment for me!

Today it was his turn to feel poorly; I leant over and stroked his chest. As I said something like, “you poor thing,” my eyes trailed away over his pillow. I wondered later if my words sounded as if they’d made a detour too.

It wasn’t my intention to detour them. It’s just how I often am: so self protective that I avoid intimate moments even as I crave them.

This is Polly, still Wagging
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happyladychat 49F
3740 posts
4/21/2006 3:22 am

Polly... hey... this is a very honest open post.

Hmmm... guess sometimes trust need to be established to be opened, and trust needs time to build.

Nevermind, I'm sure that moment of connection will come again. Have a nice weekend!

Make it your challenge.... turn me ON!!

Romancer67 50M

4/21/2006 3:58 am

Obviously, that's how you've been brought up..Don't do this, dont say that, it is rude to stare..etc..etc
So here is an exercise for you...Everyday take minutes, stand infront of the mirror, come closer and look into your eyes..just look at them . dont stare REALLY LOOK..see waht you can find there.
Eyes are the windows to the inner world. Practice looking to find, not looking to see.
Of course if you dare, it would be more beneficiary if you do that with a real person. That is intense. Yes it is. BUt that is the purpose isnt it? To be open is to be intense.


boydcounty 68M

4/21/2006 4:45 am

The fear of vulnerability. It is in all of us to a point. We open up our heart and soul through our eyes to someone we trust when we need their support. When they need the same thing, we subconsciously turn away by averting our eyes. I call it human nature.


angelofmercy5 60F
17881 posts
4/21/2006 6:28 am

They say our eyes are the windows to our souls. I know that in many ways I am able to control my emotions in times of crisis. Makes for a good nurse, you know? But my eyes will give it away every time. When my first grandson was born after a very tramatic labor, and they were frantically whisking him away because he wasn't breathing....my daughter frantically asking me what was wrong. In my best nurse Mom manner, I was calmly explaining to her what they were doing to her new baby and how he was getting the best care. But later, she told me that she could sense the calm in my voice, but she could see the pain and conflict in my eyes. Learning to let ourself be vulnerable takes practice. I know people, like you, who are tender and loving....but tend to look away. My husband is one of them. I try to just draw his face back to me.....I like to look into his eyes. Now, I sometimes wake to find him watching me....and he doesn't avert his eyes much any more.

papyrina 52F
21133 posts
4/21/2006 8:04 am

i talk often with my eyes and hubby and i often chat without saying a word

On just saying something not just eyes,my closest and dearest friend of 18 years is going through a traumatic time with her son ,when she called to tell me,i could hear her fear and upset for the first time ever i told her i loved her and straight away i felt her gain strength from that its funny how we can tell a guy or family we love them but not our female friends as easily

I'm a

i'm here to stay

rm_FreeLove999 47F
16127 posts
4/21/2006 8:52 am

i felt sad when i read this (and had to go away and come back later), as i can relate. open as i am true intimacy eludes me...

>>>gentle hugz<<

[blog freelove999]

interested13563 54M
2557 posts
4/21/2006 12:14 pm

A wonderful moment indeed, Waggy! I hope you have lots of them
from now on. Keep writing. We are reading!!!! A hug to you too....

reverend21 50M
1913 posts
4/21/2006 3:35 pm

It takes a lot to open up and drop your guard

horny4770 61M
8158 posts
4/21/2006 5:15 pm

Our selve protective mechanisms can be very hard to overcome, but if anyone can prevail, it will be you.

horny4770 61M
8158 posts
4/21/2006 5:16 pm

Our self protective mechanisms can be very hard to overcome, but if anyone can prevail, it will be you.

tillerbabe 57F

4/22/2006 8:15 pm

I'm actually really shy, and I know that when people look into my eyes - they can see my whole soul, so sometimes, if Ireally like someone...I'll look away too.

rm_unlistedone 66M
2718 posts
4/29/2006 12:11 am

Sometimes Polly, you just can't allow yourself to be free with giving of yourself... at least not totally. Somewhere in the back of your mind, there's a self-protect mechanism that doesn't allow us to do that. Trust, in yourself, and the person in front of you makes that okay.

As you know, I wear my heart on my sleeve. It's there for the taking... and I am used to the battering it sometimes gets. Would I change that? Perhaps a little... but the good feelings that come with that have filled my life with many memories that are cherished.

As for averting my eyes... no... never. Many have asked me to look away... for they feel that I can see straight into their mind or soul, and it makes them uncomfortable. For them, I'll turn away... only to return later... as their trust and comfort level grows with me.

I would say Polly, that this for you has been a rare, wonderful moment and your trust level with this person is very high. Just continue to trust yourself and these moments will become easier.

hugs, my dear friend, me

rm_unlistedone 66M
2718 posts
4/29/2006 12:13 am


__Huntress__ 56M/59F

4/30/2006 7:34 am

It's a curse, I tell you, a curse ... I do the same thing !


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