I Used to Care Deeply  

waggypolly 73F
7449 posts
8/6/2006 3:29 pm

Last Read:
9/2/2006 12:51 am

I Used to Care Deeply

A while back I fell in love. This man was short and thick and lean, with a strong neck: my sort of physique. He was intelligent and quick witted; to me intelligence is the sexiest attribute. We’d had the same life trajectory, done similar things, even lived in the same places, the same countries; it was easy to share ‘do you remembers’. Our children were heading in similar directions, knew each other indirectly. We explored our new environment together, each rejoicing that we had met a kindred spirit.

He sought my company, my friendship. He flirted the first time he invited me out, and I thought I was going on a date, but when he dropped me home he leant so far out of the driver’s window that he couldn’t turn his head to say goodbye. We spent a lot of time together, did things, went places, shared emotional secrets. Still, even when we shared a hotel room we went to bed alone.

We have become best friends. But now it’s not just him holding back; it’s both of us. I accepted he wasn’t interested in me sexually long before I stopped offering emotional openness. My hopes and expectations faded away. Love had its season. Un-nurtured love runs its course, obsessions fade, brain chemicals dissipate.

It’s over. I miss the excitement. He’s moving from centre stage. I love him among my friends. My mind is calmer, cooler. Soon I’ll get used to calling him Mr Hewhomiusedtocarefordeeply.

This is Polly, still Wagging
Remember: ! Bloggers are a Better Breed !

Latest post: Naked

papyrina 52F
21133 posts
8/6/2006 3:43 pm

awww hugs hun

I'm a

i'm here to stay

waggypolly replies on 8/7/2006 12:25 am:
Thanks, Sweetie.

rm_saintlianna 46F
15466 posts
8/6/2006 4:49 pm

Un-nurtured love runs its course......wow, that is the truth.

waggypolly replies on 8/7/2006 12:27 am:
It takes two to tango, and this lady ain't dancing no solos.

fantasylover_05 63M

8/6/2006 5:05 pm

I am deeply sorry my Dear Waggy!!

waggypolly replies on 8/7/2006 12:27 am:
Looking on the bright side, I have a very good friend.

rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
8/6/2006 10:55 pm

Sounds like it had more to do with how he felt about him than how he felt about you.

I am glad to hear the 'moving from centre stage' part. Interestingly, I nearly did a post on a similar situation. We do that a lot around here, don't we?

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

waggypolly replies on 8/7/2006 12:28 am:
Yup, that's one reason for letting go of him - such things don't change.

ella1966 51F
1528 posts
8/7/2006 12:56 am

(((hugs))) for you deeply hon....there is a wise woman on here who used to blog, her handle is sallypus, I used to be in the same discussion group as her last year... we have never really hit it off as friends, but interestingly she said the following..."love is easy, it is not meant to be hard"...hon, it wasn't love, it was infatuation, been there done that but I know as sure as hell it is hard to forget, isn't it?

waggypolly replies on 8/7/2006 4:53 am:
I don't buy inot the point of view that all unrequited love is infatuation; it may be, may not be. But I do think that the desire component of it has to be allowed to wither, or all that is left is a moibund infatuation. wwwlatinoww wrote last year, "With respect to unrequited love, love is a two way street. No matter what anybody says, it needs to be reciprocated so that it can grow and become as great as it is possible of becoming." I wonder if he was friend of Sallypus's.

ella1966 51F
1528 posts
8/7/2006 12:59 am

Oh, and btw, I am still waiting for my brain chemicals to dissipate too, both for the "old" ones and to seek clarity for the "current" one(s) and hoping that any future ones will be able to be moved through more quickly...I would prefer just to get "drunk" for a day or two, rather than have this continual hangover I seem to have for some men...

waggypolly replies on 8/7/2006 4:56 am:
There's a theory around that the chemicals take about two and half years to dissipate and that this relates to the survivial of the species: that's about the time we need support whilest pregnant and lactating. I found this particularly interesting in that I did the mental work about "why he's not meant for me" ages ago, but emotionally I couldn't let go. The suddenly, after exactly 2.5 it happened.

horny4770 61M
8158 posts
8/7/2006 4:24 am

Since now you see and have accepted, perhaps it leaves the centre stage for another...since"this lady ain't dancing no solos"?


waggypolly replies on 8/7/2006 4:42 am:
Nicely phrased, Horny My Dear. Pity u r taken already.

rm_FreeLove999 47F
16127 posts
8/7/2006 4:27 am

so it is possible?

[blog freelove999]

waggypolly replies on 8/7/2006 4:58 am:
I'm sure it is, Free, just takes time and personal acceptance. The desire's almost gone; it will be good if the love between friends (which is mutual) stays.

digdug41 50M

8/7/2006 7:58 am

at least you can still call him friend

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

waggypolly replies on 8/7/2006 4:07 pm:
Yup, and around here I really need friendship.

Theflinkychick 106F

8/7/2006 8:08 am

Isn't it good to realize the different ways you can care about one person? I like that. I just wrote something like this in a letter to a long time friend this morning. It wasn't about something that I would have blogged about and you said it better than I would have, but it is true that we seem to have a mass consciousness thing going on here fairly often.

Not all who wander are lost.

waggypolly replies on 8/7/2006 4:09 pm:
Yeah to both your comments. The synchroniciy between some of us here is amazing. And exploring the different ways it is possible to care for someone has been one of the great learning for me in this situation.

interested13563 54M
2557 posts
8/7/2006 4:42 pm

Obviously it is painful. But in the end when all the excitement
dissipates the gain is in the deeper affection which can last
a lifetime.

waggypolly replies on 8/7/2006 4:58 pm:
In a hackneyed phrase: No pain no gain!

waggypolly replies on 8/7/2006 4:59 pm:
And there is Living in the excitement too, isn't there.

VATraveler1948 69M

8/7/2006 6:00 pm

It's healthy when you come to those understandings... it's just not much fun. Best wishes as you move to new relationships Polly!

waggypolly replies on 8/8/2006 3:23 am:
Thanks VAT. It's nice to know that you'll still be there for me.


8/9/2006 3:36 am

warm huggssssssss lost a love but gained a friend

under the stars
We choose to write
you choose what you comprehend.
read twice and be nice
every key stroke... has a heart beat

waggypolly replies on 8/9/2006 4:16 am:
Definitely the way to look at it . Work put in not wasted; we have a fabulous friendship.

ilsgicemru 73M
2822 posts
8/9/2006 9:10 am

...................... Polly

So !! .. Lol

Where have I been ?? .. You have such a good blog Polly !! .. I should be spending more time with you !!

They say .. "When one door closes . another opens" !!

Polly .... That post you commented on was supposed to be hidden along with the 7 other posts on "My Fun Nakie Photo Shoot" !! .. I had just saved the space and hadn't written the post yet !! .. All 8 of them are done now . so I hope that you will come back and visit !!

And please remind me to visit you more often . even though I have slowed down on my blogging !!!!

....................... G.

waggypolly replies on 8/9/2006 4:19 pm:
Reminder to Ils: Visit Polly more often!
Reminder to Polly: Which of us owes the other an emai?

kyplowboy22 62M

8/9/2006 9:56 am

Seems no matter how hard we try, we just can't make a silk purse from a sow's ear. Wishing things were different just don't mean damn thing. Thanks for your recent visits to my blog. Enjoyed the fine company. Later


waggypolly replies on 8/9/2006 4:19 pm:
Sow's ear. I like that. You are right. Keep in touch.

LustyTaurus 49M
21253 posts
8/9/2006 11:57 pm

I believe you know this, but some things are just not meant to be, and sometimes we just need to have faith that it's for the best...somehow.

I hope your friendship remains...

waggypolly replies on 8/10/2006 3:09 am:
Yeah, it's all like that, isn't it. Our friendship is years old now, so I'm sure it will remain, most likely to the end.

warmandsexy52 65M
13164 posts
8/10/2006 2:55 am

The line between a friendship and a love affair is sometimes so fine. Sometimes intentions that were never fully articulated. Feelings that somehow diffused rather than invaded. Awwwww! I have been there and my heart goes out to you. {=}

warm xx

waggypolly replies on 8/10/2006 3:09 am:
Awwwww, I sense you really are warm and sexy.

rm_goddess1946 107F
13518 posts
8/10/2006 1:51 pm

Sometimes men and women have similarities that actually neutralize them sexually to each other. For sexual attraction to be there, certain things just have to be present...and often times, they just are not..for alot of reasons. I have been exactly where you are right now and I know that relationships can morph in many ways and yet love is what it is. Keeping an open heart can be very painful and yet it is the only way that I know how to live. Peopl are who they are and things are what they are.

Know that this is not about you, Polly...
know that you can have him as your friend and someone
who is perfect to be your lover is most likely someone
that you haven't even met yet. xo for the day, Goddess

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...

waggypolly replies on 8/10/2006 5:11 pm:
Goddess, what you say about love and sex I really believe too, and this IS what I've experienced. Living with an open heart IS the only way. Difficult at times, but the best way always. Thank you for your faith.

waggypolly replies on 8/10/2006 5:21 pm:
Goddess, what you say about love and sex I really believe too, and this IS what I've experienced. Living with an open heart IS the only way. Difficult at times, but the best way always. Thank you for your faith.

MsLoveRose 34F  
2432 posts
8/13/2006 7:20 am

somewhere inside you will always feel that care...that love....sometimes the things that DONT happen are just as strong as the things that do!!!

somewhere in the stars the plan was not to share each other that way....

big hugs....sunrise got some catchin up to do!!

live more, laugh often, love much

waggypolly replies on 8/18/2006 6:35 am:

"things that don't are just as strong as the things that do" mmmm There's a thought.
(where ya bin?)

redswallow777 49M
6811 posts
8/18/2006 7:30 am

Ugggg....I do hate coming to a post late. So much has already been said. Let me but add my hug and throw in my support for continuing to love. If there is a single thread in your post and all the comments it is that love is one of the most difficult of human endeavors....hard perhaps because we can think, and reason, and question. If we were all rabbits life would be a lot simpler.

waggypolly replies on 8/18/2006 3:55 pm:

LOL ! I wish we were rabbits, RedBird, then I would chase you down your burrow. Seriously tho, thank you for the hug. It would be good to talk more about this.

redswallow777 49M
6811 posts
8/20/2006 6:04 am

The redbird grins....knowing the rabbit too has it's fun. I will look forward to that continued conversation.

waggypolly replies on 8/20/2006 8:42 am:

Yes, I know you will. Thank you. That is very, very good for me

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