The Devil In Me  

vrec_dawn 41M
854 posts
6/10/2006 3:02 pm

Last Read:
6/11/2006 6:52 am

The Devil In Me

I went down to the north side of Devil's Lake today, finally getting my sticker. I'd meant to get it ages ago, but things seem to always come up. Actually, I'm surprised I made it today. I've been fighting a flu all week.

Normally I prefer the south shore. It's a lot less populated, less dead fish seem to wash up on shore there, and I like the scenery better. But I wasn't sure if I could get my annual sticker for the state parks at the south shore, so I went to the north side because I know you can get it there.

It seemed too cold to swim, so I didn't bring a suit. Though the water was a lot warmer than I had expected, so that was kind of a bummer. But I did go for a nice walk. I figured I'd take advantage of the opportunity to see what the hike to the Devil's Doorway was like from the north side. On the south side it's a climb straight up the cliff face. It's insane!

Well, from the north it is a heck of a lot easier. It's no where near as far of a walk, but it's also no where near as extreme in the vertical sense. Or as dangerous. I even went up a different way than I came down. It was fun.

But it was so awesome to just reconnect. It was like visiting an old friend. And everything was just so beautiful. I always especially love watching the ferns blow in the breeze, hearing the wind whisper through the tree tops, and seeing all of the play of light and shadow everywhere. And the streams gurgled, the butterflies chased each other, the vultures soared ... it was all just so breathtaking.

At one point, it was especially weird / cool. I was walking back down after sitting at the Devil's Doorway, and I see the sun hitting this path. And I think I must go check it out. It was like ... just imperative. Like I had no choice. So I head along, and it leads me to this cropping of rock that goes up. And I think to myself, now why have I been brought here? I had no idea. So I started hiking up the rocks, just knowing I had to go that way, but wondering why.

I'm walking up, and up, and suddenly BAM there it is. This gartersnake is just right under my nose. Almost literally. He couldn't have been a foot away from where I was standing. And he was at least as long as my arm. He didn't move. He didn't look my way. He wasn't even in sunning himself because he wasn't in direct sunlight, just half in, half out. He was just sitting there, waiting. It was just so cool.

(I so wished I had a digital camera! I really need to get one again, now that the ex has taken 'ours'.)

I watched him breathe for a while. He just waited for me. As a witch I knew he had a message for me. That was why I had been compelled to go there. I knew it the moment I saw him. Snakes typically represent change, a shedding the old skin kind of thing. But I think it was also the way he was half in sunlight and half in shadow that was the message. Like it was okay to not pick a side.

Well, when I turned to go, even before I actually left, he already began to slither away. It was so weird. He didn't even wait for me to actually move. It was like just the decision, just the sending to him, "Hey, thanks for the message. I'll let you get back to your life now," was all he was waiting for.

Weirder yet, I turned around a few steps after I started leaving, wanting to make sure to remember what he looked like to double check that he was a gartersnake when I got home, and he actually had slithered under a rock by then. I'd have missed him entirely, but as I stood there, looking for him, he poked his head out like a wave goodbye. I waved back and he vanished into his shadows.

It was so cool. I love it when the universe gives us signs like that. It's like a reminder that we're not alone, that there's a real connection.

But as exciting and happy as the day at Devil's Lake made me (and lately I can certainly use some happy moments) it also made me sad. I realized that I badly wanted to share that excitement with someone. I wanted someone to tell about my day. I wanted someone to share the whole thing with, to have even been there with me, getting as excited as I was. But I have no one like that anymore. Really, I hadn't for the past few years anyway. The ex seemed to care less and less about my life after our marriage peaked. And that's just so sad. I miss having someone to share those moments with.


Oh well. Maybe one day I'll find someone who'll care.

It's like, sex is good and all, but it's just such a higher priority in my next relationship that I find someone that I can talk with, that is interested in my life as much as I am in hers, that I can share things with, and we can get excited about each other's experiences. That and a good snuggler. Dammit, I want someone who just enjoys a good cuddle every now and then. Is that so wrong? Caring and sharing, communication, snuggling, and then sex...

Iwakura16Eyes 38F

6/10/2006 8:08 pm

you shared your excitement here and some of us enjoyed reading it

I thrive on "spots of enlightenment." google the Lake of the Clouds in Michigan. particularly an image search.... *knowing grin*

vrec_dawn 41M

6/11/2006 6:20 am

Wow. That looks pretty impressive. I may have to visit there one day. Thanks for the tip.

The one thing that I absolutely love about Devil's Lake is the quartzite. I mean it's just dumped in giant rectangular boulders in places. It looks so pretty. And it just gives the whole area such an awesome energy. It's no wonder Native Americans built mounds and such around the lake. It's just a powerful place to be, even if it is kind of small.

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