Dun Dun Dun!  

vrec_dawn 41M
854 posts
3/3/2006 2:40 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Dun Dun Dun!

It's official. The ex and I just submitted our divorce paperwork to the courthouse. Now it's just a matter of time. Three months of time.

I thought I'd be depressed at this point. You know, reminded of what I'm losing. Having to admit that it's really really happening.

I don't know.



But no.

Actually, I feel pretty good. It's like, it's really happening. Finally. Things are moving.

Is it wrong to feel this way? Is it wrong to be happy about ending a marriage?

I mean it's not like it was all that bad of a marriage. It wasn't exactly all that good, mind you. I mean it was co-dependant, depressing, almost sexless, heading towards loveless, and honestly, the ex was a little abusive. I never realized how much she put me down until she stopped talking to me. But still, it could have been much much worse than that. I bet even most marriages hit a phase like that at some point over the years. But it's just clear that we've become different people, we're no longer meeting each other's needs or expectations. So it's time to move on.


I don't know.

I expected to be more depressed than this. I expected it to hurt more. I mean it still kinda hurts some times. Like last night the ex and I picked up some misc. groceries and crap she needed from Wally World. And we were actually just, friends. No weird akward moments. And I realized, I'm going to miss her. Not like, I'm still madly in love going to miss her. Just, she's a friend that I'm going to miss talking to. And it was kind of sad. And kind of weird. It was like ... where's the love? Has my heart turned so cold? Or was the love never really there? Or has my heart healed faster than I'd imagined possible?

I dunno.

But meh. That's life I guess.

So anywhen, three months from now I'll be officially legally single again. And you know what? I can hardly wait. It's like this weight just waiting to be lifted.

singleagain53578 48F

3/3/2006 8:14 pm

Hey that is great news. I just need to get my butt in gear. Did you guys do it yourself? That's what I plan to do as well. I might need some help with that. Will talk to ya later about that.

It is not wrong for you to feel that way. Just like myself, you two were probably always better off friends than married. It is just a good thing that you realised that before kids came into the picture. I know of so many people staying together just for the kids sake.

Don't forget to buy a box of cigars and hand them out. I will smoke one with ya!!! I haven't smoked a good cigar in such a longgg time!!!


vrec_dawn 41M

3/4/2006 10:53 am

Geeze, a cigar? I've never smoked one. Sounds interesting. Maybe a good excuse to try one, but I'm afraid of getting sick. He he he.

No, we didn't do the paperwork ourselves. We're paying a company that guides us through it, does interviews over the phone, sends us the paperwork, tells us what to do. For a small fortune. I'd complain about the cost, but honestly, just the relief of getting things moving and knowing that I'm not screwing up the paperwork is money well spent.

As for the kids though, well, there's a reason why we never had any. We'd been talking about having them on and off for years, but, frankly, I guess some subconscious part of me knew not to have them with her. I don't know. Every time I thought about having kids, the thought of her being the mother concerned me for some reason. So it's a good thing I listened to my intuition.

Still, kids are resilliant. They adapt. They bounce back. So I don't think I'd have worried about it even if we'd had kids. The hard part would just be deciding which of us would have gotten custody, because you can't live on opposite ends of the planet and share custody very well. I think I'd have fought for custody tooth and nail had it happened and come to that. As I said, something about her being a mother concerned me. I just don't think she's ready.

But, then, luckily not a problem, and not something that I have to worry about anymore. It's actually quite a relief when I think about it. That'd been a big worry on my mind in the last two years especially.

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