Virtual Catfight  

vengeur 42M  
565 posts
2/3/2006 7:00 am

Last Read:
11/25/2006 5:15 pm

Virtual Catfight

When it comes to chat rooms on this site, it appears that the manner in which we interact with each other within this medium correlates to real life in a way that I never qutie expected.

I recently have become aware that I was a subject of contention among several women at some time in the past, with the high possibility that nobody in question, myself included, has ever actually met in real life. This is what I would call a virtual catfight.

So here is what apparently happened, as related to me by one of the women involved in this episode: Over the course of either just one or several times in the chat room I which frequent, I was chatting in there with one particular woman to some extent. It is worthy to note here that have never actually met in real life. Some other women were displeased by this, but did they tell me so?

No, they just sent hostile messages to this particular woman instead. Other women sent messages to her based on the assumption that we had actually met, so that they could query her about some type of intimate details regarding myself.

The torrent of messages this woman received was enough to upset or frustrate her, so much so that she decided to keep away from this site for a while. I find this whole episode rather distasteful. Is it too much for me to expect that we all should be just a bit more civil than this?

MissAnnThrope 57F
11488 posts
2/10/2006 7:56 am

Yes, we should be more civil than this. However, the catfights do happen. Women see something, er, someone they want and they will go out of their way to sabotage other women, especially if they feel the man in question is paying too much attention to the other woman and not them.

The trouble is, while men on here might outnumber women something like 25 to 1, how many of them aren't complete fucktards? Men who understand how to talk to women are in very short supply. Men in this group who aren't uglier than fuck or unmarried are even rarier. Therefore, certain men in the rooms are branded as the prized pigs, or the "IT" boys. Cat fights do ensue and when you're part of the argument, it is frustrating. When you're on the outside looking in, it's amusing to watch.

I recently found out that a number of women who wanted to keep men away from me have been telling them I'm a hooker for the past few years. Mind you, these aren't women who are looking for a lover and are out to trap the one they think is best. These are women who are looking to sleep their way through the chat rooms. Somehow a few decided I was a threat and suddenly I'm a hooker. I don't get it, as I intimidate most men as it is, so they needn't worry about me poaching or even these guys approaching me. They're all too scared.

It really does boggle the mind.

vengeur 42M  
837 posts
2/10/2006 11:19 am


Thanks so much for your comment. I find it to be one of very valuable insight. I was hoping to garner some more feedback on this topic by now, so hopefully you will provide some inspiration to others reading this.

rm_autumngirl61 56F
741 posts
2/12/2006 2:29 pm

I'm glad that you wrote this part, vengeur!! MissAnn, I feel you.

We're all in this site for the same reasons, seeking adult friends who are very openminded, understanding their sexual needs, enjoying any sexual friendship, or just for chatting, etc. Sometimes I don't understand other women in chatroom when they said the ones step on their toes or women's rules. Sometimes I could see something like this: One guy tried to chat w/ few women in chatroom, but these women would say they step on their toes. What does that leave to this same guy? There are too many people chatting at each other, different people....could be overwhelmed sometimes. BUT we're in chatroom to chat for fun and to get to know at each other well without any abuse or harassment or drama.

There are also some women who would rather to keep "their men" after their first dates when the men prefer to see other women. It's great that they're still friends after their first dates, but sometimes the women expect more from the same men. When other women date the same men who date the first women, and they (first women) don't like it. You got a picture here?? I mean these men would rather be free to date whoever they want. If the first women find out, they would cause the such drama in the chatroom. That's really immature, I believe. If these women expect more from the same men AND if these men want the same, then we respect them. Right?

As for me, it doesn't really matter to me if any guy I once went out with would date w/ other women or my friends. Heck, I even encouraged my good friend to go w/ a real great guy who slept w/ me and they did. We all are still good friends. I think it's just great for us to stay openminded. Some women asked me if I knew these men and if I met them, I would be honest w/ them. I would tell them how great they were or would say oh, I wouldn't trust them if I were you....etc, you know? They then asked me if it would be ok if they could go out w/ them who once went out w/ me. I said like wtf is matter with this picture....?? I don't need them to ask me for my permission. I love being independent and I enjoy whatever I can with my male friends. I told them to go ahead then. Sometimes I'm getting tired of hearing something like that from some women I know, but I don't judge them.

That's just my opinion (you don't have to agree with me)

vengeur 42M  
837 posts
2/12/2006 3:30 pm


I do agree with you, especially on your view regarding how immature the chat room drama can be.

rm_gingersnappy 60F

2/12/2006 8:41 pm

Call me naive, but my impression was that there would, eventually, be a time when one would cross paths with another member's prior lover(s), especially in the chatrooms. I know I have several times. Whether that is known by them I'm not sure. Do I care that they may find out? Yes, I do, I'm sympathetic to others feelings and I don't rub it in their faces. But, for people to expect that they are the only ones having sex with a person they've met on here is very unrealistic. This is a SEX dating site! The only time I feel it would be wrong is, if the two people professed exclusivity to each other, but didn't abide by it, and I knew about the exclusivity. One has to expect that we may cross paths with each other's lovers. It's known these days as the Kevin Bacon phenomenon. Enjoy the relationship while you can, if it leads to something more permanent, terrific, if not, move on. There are plenty of others to choose from. Isn't sex great!! LOL

vengeur 42M  
837 posts
2/13/2006 3:48 am


You've said some things here which everybody should take note of, especially when it comes to this "Kevin Bacon phenomenon". Thanks so much for sharing!

kym0862 61F
17 posts
3/5/2006 6:08 pm

WOW!!! I never go into the chat rooms. I got in on the Internet during the BBS days and I guess that I just feel "Been there done that" when it comes to chat rooms in general and just simply have not interest.

I am amazed at how childish these females are and to what end really. Attacking another woman is just not going to stop you from wanting to see her and there are so many other ways to communicate that all you have to do is just not go into the chat rooms in the first place.

I do understand that there is an under current of gossip about me and can base it on some of the reactions that I have gotten from men (all of a sudden they stop calling). And from my opinion if a person listens to any story with out hearing the other side then I don't have any use for them what so ever and could care less. After all for the most part this is still an electronic medium, which means it has an “”On” and “Off” switch.

Vengeur - I have so far found you to be quite a gentleman and my hopes are that we do meet. I am not sure that I thanked you for defending me. But thanks...One thing that you did not know is that the moderator of that group really does not like me (I'm not sure why) and that should say it all about the attack. What hurt me more is that you were the only person to defend my right to ask for what I wanted in a man.

vengeur 42M  
837 posts
4/17/2006 1:51 am


I think that you did thank me before for defending you, but it's still nice that you have thanked me yet again. Also, you're welcome - again!

frassy_sass 55F

5/30/2006 5:50 pm

I don't go to the chatrooms for that very reason. Lately the adlines have become just as bad with ridiculous sniping going on. So, I stick with the blogs now.


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