Gobi Winds  

tsuyoiboy 54M
0 posts
5/27/2006 8:45 am

Last Read:
5/27/2006 8:47 am

Gobi Winds


Cold Winds today. The dark foreboding sky reminds me of late spring growing up in Michigan. Late 70's angst. hate school, hated self and hated life. it seemed as if life was just a rollercoaster that only let you feel the bright warmth of the sun only to make you feel worse when you started to feel that cold and bitter knot of pain in your belly when it all started to slide downhill once again. weed, beer, jerking off and J.R.R. Tolkein my only escapes. I remember a particularly cold day when i met a girl named Kimberly Sue F. It was a Friday night and she was wearing a blue dress and poofy late 70's early 80's hair. she was beautiful, funny, sexy and the only thing i could see. the room felt like the sun had just risen in it and was shining just on her. I vowed that day that someday she would be mine...a year and a half later she was. until a cold windy day in October when i found out that she'd been seeing my best friend behind my back while i was off in Beirut playing hide and seek with the Hezbollah. It was another cold and windy day when the memorial service was held for the 241 Marines that died in the bomb blast was held. The 1 Div.8th U.S. Marines held their chins high but that cold wind blew right thru our emptiness. it blew our tears up into the sky where some yet to be named goddess of sorrow keeps them until the next time she showers us with cold wind and those tears that we perpetually shed. the 80's a blur of drug escape and fantasy novels and too much bloody work, i awoke to find myself in Japan on March 18th, 1996 in a hospital in east osaka with 3 broken vertibrae, broken leg, broken hip, punctured intestines, whiplass and a pair of balls the size of grapefruit from the impact of a mac truck that had hit me at 40 mph. from the corner of my eye i saw the dark robes of Death, the scythe and skeletal hand reaching for me. The window in the I.C.U. miraculously blew open and that cold wind blew in and death's hand inched closer. tears, begging for life and then death asked, 'why do you want to live?'. silence on my part. 'why DID i want to live?' for the next three days and nights death and i talked. the nurses thought i was halucinating but i know the truth. 1997 i help carry a tiny coffin to a tiny hole in the cold ground. the Cold Wind is blowing as i finally collapse emotionally and help lower my 5 year old neice into the dark ground. 'might she not want to fly free in the sky i think?' then realize that maybe she'd get caught in a Cold Wind and never be free of the sorrow.
Cold Wind.

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