Heart of steel  

trillionman 56M
27 posts
5/25/2006 7:32 pm

Last Read:
5/26/2006 2:45 pm

Heart of steel

I remember when I was younger,things did not bother me at all.I could see a animal get killed by a car,see a baby cry,go to funerals and weddings and not even think anything about it.I had a heart of steel,maybe I was heartless.I have changed and I don't think I like it.I feel pain in my heart although I am physically sound.It is difficult to think of things I have lost in my life,especially when I know that I will not be getting those things back.I wish I was the man of steel at times so it would not hurt.I went to my nieces graduation this week I was thinking about when she was a baby and what her parent were feeling seeing her graduate.I felt happy for her but sad for them,seeing their first born getting ready to leave home.I have two small girls I only see them every other week.When I think of my girls,my home and even my ex wife I have a pain.Sometimes I feel like I have been kicked in the balls and can't catch my breath.Life sucks at times but you can't let it keep you down.I guess that is why I stay busy trying to keep my mind off thing that hurt because I am not the man of steel,nor is my heart.I had way to much time to think about thing this week.I think I am just going to take one vacation day at a time.

absolutelynormal 57F
6563 posts
5/25/2006 10:49 pm

T'man, I was the same way and I changed too. It seems everything hurts. Everything makes me cry. I developed the ability to "feel" and now I don't know how to mediate it. My niece's graduation was tonight.
They thought I was at work. there is a great rift in my family. I didn't want to see them. Not tonight.

Sorry I missed your call. I went to sleep. Mac

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