You Are the Ass End of the Dog or You are the Foot... It is Your Choice!  

travelingintexas 42M
posts
5/2/2006 10:50 am
You Are the Ass End of the Dog or You are the Foot... It is Your Choice!

This weekend I sat at my old house on the back porch. This is important only because it is my habit to sit outside each night and read and smoke. It is the time when I relax and end my day. Now I have or had, I should say, a Dachshund and a Basset Hound. When I sit on the back porch the weenie dog likes to sit between my feet. Normally I have on shoes or socks but not on this night. So, as I sat there minding my own business and reading the dog sat on the top of my feet per usual. (By the way, Joseph Finder, author of Company Man and Paranoia makes John Grisham’s good stuff look like Dick and Jane. Check him out immediately.)

What I didn’t know, before allowing the dog to sit there, is that the dog had a bad stomach disease and was taking medicine. We are talking horrific ummmmmm crap issues here. I was blissfully unaware. So as I sat there relaxing, reading and smoking with the small dog on my foot, I suddenly felt something amazingly warm and wet on my foot. Keep in my I happened to be barefoot. Curious as to the sudden warm and wet sensation, I looked down and was completely shocked and disgusted by what I saw. This dog, the one curled atop my feet, had just shit on me. Not a normal every day little weenie dog dog shit, but I have major Great Dane size stomach issues shit. For lack of better terminology, there was no solid anything and a hell of a lot of it. Ewwwwww My big ass feet were covered. (Said like Ron White saying the word Loaded.)

So the dog shit on my foot. Why do I tell you this story? For this reason and this reason alone. In the strange way that life’s lessons seem to get taught to me, I realized something, a personal profound truth if you will and I wanted to pass it on to each of you. Ready?

In this life, there are three different positions we can all assume. We may rotate between them at different stages and we have all been guilty of each, but many of us, will find a certain position is part of our personal makeup. The nice thing is unlike being bald or other genetic traits, with work, we can change positions.

The first being the position of the dog. We all know these people, may be guilty of it occasionally and some of us are guilty of it all the time. Shitting on others. Oh yes, this person can’t get enough of crapping all over others. Not little ol’ everyday crapping but Great Dane crapping. Wet, nasty, disgusting smelly shitting that no one wants to clean up because you keep gagging. When this is part of your everyday life, it is where this person finds their self worth, their meaning in life. I like to call these people chaos junkies. This persons day just isn’t complete until they have found a likely target, walked or snuck over and then shit all over them just for the sole reason of needing chaos in their life. Drama, drama, drama.

You know who I am talking about? That person in your life, or maybe it is you, and you or they can’t seem to function without living in chaos and shitting your chaos all over others because you think it is normal. Now, because chaos junkies are a completely different blog topic I won’t spend much more time on them. Suffice it to say we all have three positions we can be in within our lives and one of them is “being the nasty, sick shitting dog.”

Next in life we have the foot. Not just any ol’ foot. It’s the foot that sits under the waterfall of shit all day long. “Woah is me” the foot says. “I just got shit on! Everyone quick! Look at me! I was shit on! Oh this shit stinks! What do I do, what do I do! I was shit on! And not just once but that is the 34th time this week I, as the foot, have been shit on by the dog. I just don’t understand. Why does this happen to me. Maybe its Karma. Maybe I deserve it. In fact, if it keeps happening I must deserve it. Poor pitiful me. My life is just one big dog shit pile after another!”

Know these people? Ever been there.

However, in this life there is another option. Wanna know what that option is? Move your Gawd Darned foot. See, it is real simple. Dog shits on my foot once, shame on the dog. Dog shits on my foot twice, shame on me. Move your dang foot.

People, it is just that simple. If life or chaos junkies are shitting all over you... MOVE YOUR FOOT. See, there is a life to be lived and that life can be lived for the most part out from under the backside of the dog. Too many of us choose however to 1. Be the dog or 2. Not move our foot, to leave our foot under the waterfall of dog shit, holding it out there directly under the flow all while looking at it and wondering why it is covered in shit. And then, when someone will listen we will bitch about it. Seriously, think about that image. You hold your foot out, while balancing on the other one, under the waterfall of the dogs shitting ass and yell and scream when someone walks by that your tired of getting shit on. Yet YOU are supporting your damn foot.

Think for a second if you are stuck in that rut of “poor pitiful me I am getting shit on.” Move! Your metaphorical foot doesn’t have to stay under the ass end of the dog. You have the power to live a clean life, free of life’s unnecessary shit. But Trav, you just don’t understand my situation. To that I say, in the illustrious words of Kyplowboy, “Everything after the but is just shit.” Folks, I don’t care what your circumstances are, this life allows you the opportunity to move out from under that damn dogs ass. You want to live life to the fullest? Move! You want a new, fresh start? One that gives you your dreams and desires? A life wihout the drama and BS? Then quit sitting there, making excuses, pointing at the ass hovered over your “foot” and saying stuff like “but if you only knew what I had to put up with.”

Quit making excuses for the dogs ass and start taking responsibility for your damn “foot,” which is the only part you can control. You following me here? It is incredibly easy to lay down and quit when the dog shitter of life makes its run over your foot. It’s a hell of a lot tougher to take responsibility and say “my foot, my problem” and move it out of the way.

Want to break through? Want to get out? Want to remove yourself from the circumstances of life that are shitting all over you? Then follow this one simple, easy to use step.

Move your damn foot.



want2play926 46F

5/2/2006 12:14 pm

Good lord Trav.......another 'nailed it on the head' post!

My father in law is both wrapped in one. He will shit all over you and then somehow make someone, me and Hubby, feel like shit and do the poor me song and dance. Well, I finally moved my damn foot! I moved it and placed it across his ass! It felt great and I am doing it everyday to him now. I feel like a new person.

*I only wish I would have done it sooner. Needless to say, I am glad I did it ...better late then never!

Great post with a ton of truth!


rm_DaphneR 59F
8023 posts
5/2/2006 12:45 pm

Oh, I so got a visual on a couple people that fit perfectly into this scenario.

**mental note** no toe sucking, cow shit, dog shit, same difference.


Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
5/2/2006 1:01 pm

(looks down and notes, with relief, that her feet are clean and happy)

Babycakes, when you're on, you're ON.

It really fits in with the one you did with the Tim McGraw song, btw.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


bulging_boy 50M

5/2/2006 3:05 pm

Yeah.

But the dog shat on your foot!


mycin62 55F

5/2/2006 3:07 pm

I have to laugh about your dog problems. I have 3 bassett hounds and one of them has the WORST gas you have EVER smelled!!! He'll stink us out of the room!


kyplowboy22 62M

5/2/2006 3:13 pm

Well, if there is an up side to it, I guess it would be that you didn't have your $200.00 'Spiffy Jim' loafers on. See? It could have been worse. lmao Later

kpb


rm_corezon 54F
3376 posts
5/2/2006 3:34 pm



I'm really really hoping that you made the dog shit story up for your sake, lol, ugh, yuck, yuck

I know we are all good at coming up with rationalizations of why we can't move our feet, funny how the mind works and the reasons we come up with. I think alot of times it has more to do with fear of the unknown, people are afraid to move their foot for fear they'll put it in even more shit. Sometimes ya gotta hate the current shit enough to take the chance.

And I still think some people like to complain so I'm not sure if it really matters where they put their feet...sometimes I think much of the shit is illusion anyway...alot is perspective and you tend to take that with you regardless until you realise the biggest problem IS one of perspective


deliciousngood 65F
1666 posts
5/2/2006 3:34 pm

You just boiled down every self-help book on the planet inot one excellent blog post.... GO TRAV!!!


rm_mm0206 70F
7767 posts
5/2/2006 4:07 pm

I bet you scared the rest of the shit outta that poor dog when you saw it.

like I predicted before ... you missed your calling.

Zig Ziggler is getting old Trav.. Step up to the plate.

oh btw... some days you step in it... some days you just smell it.

hugs...m.


rm_LilBlondeNZ 41F
1028 posts
5/2/2006 5:58 pm

<----- *still laughing so hard she's snorting"

The dog pooped on your foot!

Bwaaaaahhahahahahahah!
hehehehehehehehehehehehe

*tries to regain composure*

Now what were you saying?

*muffled snickering*

A


rm_PurryKitty2 49M/51F
9753 posts
5/2/2006 6:55 pm

Thanks for the advice!!!

Purry {=}

Purry


rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
5/2/2006 7:39 pm

    Quoting rm_LilBlondeNZ:
    <----- *still laughing so hard she's snorting"

    The dog pooped on your foot!

    Bwaaaaahhahahahahahah!
    hehehehehehehehehehehehe

    *tries to regain composure*

    Now what were you saying?

    *muffled snickering*

    A
Yeah, it WAS hard to get past that part, wasn't it?

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


rm_coathanger1 49M
859 posts
5/2/2006 8:04 pm

There are days, when a dog crapping on your foot would be an improvement!


micahbiguns 52M

5/2/2006 8:42 pm

good point but ya forgot that sometimes your the shit lol


TravelinsAuntPat 51F

5/2/2006 10:16 pm



I WAS THERE I CAN VOUCH FOR POOR TRAVELIN YEP POOPED ON AGAIN. IT IS AMAZING WHAT IT TAKES TO GET A GOOD EPIPHANY THESE DAYS. POOR LITTLE OLD DOG DID NOT HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO CRAP ON THAN TRAVS FOOT. NEEDLESS TO SAY THE LITTLE DOG IS NOW AT THE VET. IF I AM NOT MISTAKING THEY WERE GOING TO PUT THE LITTLE WEINNER DOG DOWN.

GOOD THING WE DID NOT GET IT ALL MIXED UP AND TAKE TRAV IN AND HAVE HIM PUT TO SLEEP. LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

FOR THE RECORD HE DID WARSH HIS FOOT!!!!

LOVE,
AUNTIE PAT


redlipsprincess
(Princess Lips)
52F

5/2/2006 10:22 pm

*speechless*

TTFN


Nightguy_1961 56M
4866 posts
5/2/2006 11:11 pm

trav,

Now you know why I hide out in the shadows...hard to shit on a target you can't see *grins*

NG61


imLadyBambi 59M/51F

5/3/2006 11:12 am

A-men to that.

Lady Bambi


absolutelynormal 57F
6563 posts
5/3/2006 11:55 am

This is one of the reasons why you should continue to blog. So that people who need therapy but won't go can get it here. Great post Trav. You put in terms ANYONE, even the chaos junkies, can understand.


Lookinforsex649 53M
182 posts
5/3/2006 4:39 pm

Good advice, I'd add "wash the foot" too.


DeepRiverDreamin 48F
46 posts
5/10/2006 12:47 pm

Are you sure the dog wasn't trying to tell you something?


clevergirl4U 59F

5/10/2006 1:51 pm

As a dachshund owner and lover, I'm more concerned about your doxie...is he/she OK?


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