Traveling the Backhills; Retro Sunday... New York, New York!  

travelingintexas 42M
5/29/2006 12:48 am
Traveling the Backhills; Retro Sunday... New York, New York!

The other night, I discussed doing a “Rest of the Story” type blog post. So today I am featuring the blog post New York, New York. This post was written in Austin at the same hotel I discussed in the Last Traveling the Backhills post. At this time, I had been talking to a popular female blogger from this site that is no longer active. After 4 months of talking, our friendship had suddenly grown into something new. We suddenly discovered we had a real desire to meet.

So the question was asked, if we had the chance to plan an out of this world first meeting, what would it be? The answer was to share a first kiss at our first meet during the Christmas holidays at the top of Empire State Building. What started as a semi-joke developed as the days went on into a true possibility. We both kept going back to it and discussing it. We only had one chance right? One first meeting, so why not dream? What story would we like to tell our grandkids one day if things went that well. So dream we did and plans were put in place. Requests to employers were made. Etc.

The time began to draw near and she suddenly pulled back. Her blog began featuring discussion of someone she had met. Assuming she meant me, I became excited because I knew we had discussed and planned this meeting for weeks. However, I received an email, believe it or not, stating she had met someone else, wasn’t able to get off etc. The normal excuses given at the last minute.

So, as I typically do, I responded to my emotions by writing. Telling this story allowed me to express my emotions from the entire situation without complaining openly. Every aspect I discuss about what I planned in the story was part of the plan in real life. On the day we were supposed to meet at sundown at the top of that building, I released the following post. I believe it captured the essence and emotion of how I felt that day. While not an actual event, the events were planned and the feelings of being left out in the cold all alone were very real.

I spent many days looking around that observation deck “just one more time,” but other than a few phone calls, she had disappeared.

Post: New York, New York

Comments: 47

Date: December 11, 2005 at midnight central time.

God... Here I am. Fresh off my plane trip to the Big Apple, New York City. As I stand in the line outside Laguardia to catch a cab, I realize how good it is to be back in this city I love so much. Excited. Wow, am I ever excited. I have been anticipating this trip for months now. Ever since the idea came to us in what started as a joke and then grew and grew and grew into reality. A moment of excitement and an opportunity that very few would ever experience or dare.

“How do you envision our first meeting, our first kiss happening?”

This was the question asked that started the whole thing. In a joking manner, reserved only for those who have only just found each other and are lost in the excitement of maybe having just met their soul mate, the answer was “let’s do it like they do in the movies. People meet everyday. We could make it something special to tell the grand kids.” So an idea was birthed and after months and months of talking, celebrating, arguing, encouraging and hoping, the time has finally arrived and the seed that was planted in the mind of new friends and possible lovers way back in the past was now in fruition. I am in New York City.

My luggage is placed in the trunk and I tell the driver my hotel destination and off we go. I watch as Manhattan appears outside of my window. I love this feeling and I have been dreaming of this moment for close to 5 months now. I am a bundle of nerves and excitement. My entire body thrums with a thrill of the unexpected and dreams yet placed into words. I lay my head back and watch as the city appears before me.

“What if we meet in New York City? At sundown on the top of the Empire State Building” one of us had suggested. Laughing at the thought, it had suddenly become a realistic notion. And the talk had continued. “Christmas, lets make it at Christmas time!”

So here I am at 3 PM during the Christmas holidays, so excited I can barely contain myself and heading to my hotel to drop off my things and to make sure the room is perfect. Arriving at the hotel, I check in, ensure that the presentation of the room is accurate and that I have everything I would need later in the night and for the remainder of the weekend. I then called the concierge to ensure he had my tickets for the Broadway show we would be attending later that evening. I have seen the show before but she has not, and my excitement at being able to watch her eyes and face light up as she sees her first Broadway musical continues to grow within me.

Finding that everything is perfect, I walk downstairs and outside and I am immediately in the midst of Time Square foot traffic. I love it here and will walk hand in hand with her through the crowded nights during this weekend. I have an hour until sundown.

“Let’s meet on top of the Empire State Building 15 minutes before sundown. Let’s have our first kiss as the sun makes its way below the horizon, overlooking New York City, with the Christmas spirit and winter weather heavy in the air.”

4:15 PM Just a little under and hour until our first physical meeting. I hail a cab and await its arrival. Hopping in I say “Empire State Building,” I watch the humanity flow outside the window and think of all that I have planned for this evening. Sunset is just a few minutes before 5:30PM. I had planned my arrival so that I will be there early enough to make sure I can keep the west side under surveillance for an early glimpse of her in person. Afterwards, I will escort her downstairs to a waiting limo I have scheduled to take us to a fantastic little restaurant I know of. Afterwards, we shall head to our musical. Ready for the future, this is our first step.

My musing is interrupted by the cab stopping near the base of the Empire State Building. Getting out, I look up as all tourists do and know up there, my heart awaits me. I walk into the building, purchase my ticket and stand in line to join the others that will take this elevator ride. Incredible anticipation is building inside of me. All of my hopes and dreams are at the end of this ride. I have awaited this moment for months, weeks, days , hours and minutes and I now stand at the base of one of the worlds most famous buildings to take an elevator to the observation platform to meet my dream.

I shuffle into the crowded elevator and experience the ride of my life as it begins its slow ascent. When the elevator stops, I leave and follow the crowd towards the observation deck. I find the perfect spot to stand and watch both the western side and the place where people will come out onto the observation deck. The wind is cold, blowing through my coat but I cannot feel it now. I am warm with anticipation. How will this work? Will it really happen the way we discussed? Will there be passion? My nervousness is overwhelming yet I am here. Oh my gosh, I am finally here. At the top of the building we have discussed

It is now approaching 5:15 PM. Time for her to arrive. My mouth is dry and I am shaking from nerves that have nothing to do with the cold. Later, after the show, it is a jump over to Rockefeller Center, where we will either watch Ice Skaters or hurt ourselves trying. Christmas lights everywhere. If it is not too late, I want to do the horse and carriage in Central Park. Of course it is touristy, but tonight is a once in a lifetime opportunity. The room is perfect, her favorite music already ready to go when we arrive. Candles and low lighting. Rose petals and chocolate await us. Wine, her favorites, available to us.

I have been watching but no one has appeared that looks like her yet. Stuck in traffic probably but she needs to hurry. The sun is making its move downward. Tomorrow, a late morning in bed and then site seeing. We will wander to our hearts content. Anywhere we want to go with no set plan. We will talk and laugh and hope and dream together. Talk about how fantastic tonight was. In the evening, we will be attending the Rocketts Christmas Show, walk through and play and laugh in the worlds greatest toy store and dine at another fantastic restaurant.

I suddenly realize the cold as I stand there. The sun continues its fall closer to the horizon and a sudden realization is beginning to dawn. I am up here alone. I anxiously watch the door but no stream of people arrive. In my mind it is now a race between her walking out of the door and the sun crossing the finish line to extinguish my dreams below the line. Crushing my hopes and dreams. The taste of ash fills my mouth as my head continues to swivel back and forth.

Frantically searching faces and forms. Nothing. The sun is now inches from the horizon and I am literally willing her to arrive and beat this moment. To share it with me. Slowly, but quickly, the sun touches the tip of the horizon and I feel the first drips of cold water rain upon my heart.

One more feeble yet anxious look at everyone on the observation deck. Nothing. She is not here. I feel my shoulders slump as I slowly walk to the western side of the building and stand there, alone, and watch as the sun is gobbled up in its entire brilliance by the horizon. I notice for the first time a chill upon my cheek where my tears grow cold from being touched by winters fingers. I stand there and watch as the top of the sun is swallowed finally and with it my dreams.

I do not know how long I stand here. Time seems to have stood still and emptiness the only change. I just know it is dark when the man taps me on the arm and tells me it is time for the observation deck to be closed. Shaking myself from my thoughts, I walk towards the door to go inside. As I approach the door, I take one more slow look around the platform to see if there is anyone standing there, perhaps alone, dejected and broken.

There is no one there.
Previous Traveling the Backhills:Retro Trav Posts:
Traveling the Backhills Retro Trav, Movin' On
Traveling the Backhills Retro Trav Sunday
Traveling the Backhills Retro Trav

bulging_boy 50M

5/29/2006 1:15 am

Good on ya mate!

As I've always said to myself...

It was her loss.

travelingintexas replies on 5/29/2006 11:42 am:
Yup.... the first time in life I had ever said to myself...."You are never second best, you will never be settled for. You will never crawl and beg again you will be Trav and you are worth more." So much power in that. For the first time in my life, I refused to let a "she" dictate my life. Part of the journey I had to endure to become what I needed to become.

And of course you were there..... Durn Homobitches

rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
5/29/2006 1:27 am

I'm trying not to make it a habit of agreeing with him, but Bulge is right on this one. Plus, it doesn't always go that way. The good ones follow through.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

travelingintexas replies on 5/29/2006 11:43 am:
Oh? Whew... I was getting worried....

And I too agree ith the Bugle man.... which scares da chit out of me...

rm_saintlianna 46F
15466 posts
5/29/2006 2:01 am

    Quoting bulging_boy:
    Good on ya mate!

    As I've always said to myself...

    It was her loss.
I think you should be thanking the Gods that be that it didnt work out. Sheesh, talk about depressing.

Btw, the next time either one of you two come up with a brilliant idea for a blog game, I am writing a post about the time you two were "anal curious". In detail.

travelingintexas replies on 5/29/2006 11:46 am:
Oh how often I have wondered who she became here.... Although I think I know....

One time! We were anal curious one time and we never will live it down...

digdug41 50M

5/29/2006 7:52 am

I remember this post and think it was her loss so whattya gonna do trav ya know how females can be especially the georgeous ones they seem to be a lil more unstable than the rest because of their outter wrapping

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

rm_DaphneR 59F
8023 posts
5/29/2006 8:46 am

I sure wish I could remember the very first comment on that old post that was deleted, hehe, I'd post it again. Bottom line, she didn't deserve you at all, still doesn't.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

travelingintexas replies on 5/29/2006 10:57 am:
I dont remember it comletely but I do think you mentioned dut tape and a bottle of acid right?

gypsy1629 42F

5/29/2006 10:46 am

What an awful thing to go through...I teared up or got dust in my eye while reading first I thought nothing of this cause I assumed she told you BEFORE you went to NY...and then I felt something akin to hatred when I realized you did not know until that planned night and I pity you? took a risk and lived...and learned, or at least I hope so. Anyhow, what a thoughtless, uncaring, insensitive were better off without her to be sure.


TTigerAtty 63M

5/29/2006 12:32 pm

Trav ... If you actually did this, it is eerily reminiscent of a movie I've seen where two lovers were to meet on the observation deck of the Empire State Building. Are you sure you weren't having some sort of Twilight Zone fantasy?

travelingintexas replies on 5/29/2006 5:02 pm:
T... Nope I know which ones you mean. Both the old and the remake not to mention Sleepless in Seattle. But nope, I wasnt trying to steal their ideas. Just do something eeriely similar. And for the record, I didnt actually get there. I was trying to capture the emotions of how I felt over the entire affair utlitizing the location we were supposed to meet.

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