The Traveling 5 Speed Sex Show, Episode 3  

travelingintexas 42M
11/1/2005 4:56 pm
The Traveling 5 Speed Sex Show, Episode 3

Things you never wanted to know about sex but we told you anyway!

A Continuing Series brought to you by Dr. Traveling and 5er


These two words strike fear into the heart of men everywhere. What is Dick Break you might ask? Dick Break is when at any point during sexual intercourse, the female partner bends, leans or moves in a direction that the Dick is not intended to move to while in the erective state.

Sex is going really, really good. Both of you are into it and somewhere along the way the female decides to pull out her latest yoga move. No warning, nothing. That loud popping sound? Yup. Dick Break. This does not mean the man you are with is double jointed in his dick. It means you just stopped his heart in his chest and CPR may be necessary. Suddenly its like a bad scene in the Matrix. The man can’t bend and compensate enough to readjust his dick to a normal position. Think wrestling. Think WWF. Think “oh my god, she has me in a scissor lock and I can’t get out!”

Ice Pick!

The Ice Pick can be the female equal of the Dick Break. Or it is a great retaliation tool for the man if she initiated Dick Break. The Ice Pick is when sex is initiated, the thrusts are taking place and then, oops, he pulls out to far and comes back in and stabs you with an erect penis. ICE PICK! Flattened clitoris? Missing part of your lips? Or the very worst offense of Ice Picking is when it slips down instead of up and right into your ass.

Now… I have done this on accident before. I will admit to being younger and it was in a car. It was NOT done on purpose. At the time it wasn’t funny, but today, 14 years later, I can laugh about the look on her face. Guys, this is not the way to do anal. It is not pleasurable at all. Of course I am assuming based on the thought of 7 inches of man meat suddenly appearing in my ass. Not gonna happen and the reaction is pretty typical of 7 inches of man meat appearing unwanted. The survival instinct shows up and it is all over.

So… Ladies and Gentleman. Be prepared. Be forewarned. Know the differences between these two similar but different sexual faux paux.

Traveling and 5er
Sex Experts Extraordinaire,
Telling The Truth About Sex in a Really Messed Up World

Sex Fact:
What s worse than a male chauvinist pig?
A woman who won't do as she's told.

SibylBatchAxile 44M
384 posts
11/1/2005 5:58 pm




rm_jayR63 60F
1884 posts
11/1/2005 7:34 pm

I keep hearing about this "man meat" and thought i'd give it a try.
There was nothing in the deli section labeled 'man meat" so I went to the butcher section. There was nothing in the case so I asked the man.He said 'we don't keep that out front but if you come in the back with me, I'll give you some."

then he showed it to me and i laughed.
I've been calling that "mystery meat'

UvannaHumpalot 38F

11/1/2005 7:51 pm

omg...that is soooo wrong to bring up the dick break...
i was able to put the whole memory out of my mind until this very second.....damn the oysters we ate.......damn his sexy green eyes.....damn his great lips.....damn the kama sutra......damn the hard ride.....damn the snappppppp noise we heard and most of all.......damn the laughing EMT's after they brought him to with smelling salts......argggg!

rm_TexanTiT4u 43F
13 posts
11/1/2005 8:29 pm

See, I knew with a little encouragement you would squeeze a little sex talk in here sooner or later. I'm so proud of you my lil TiT!

duststormdiva 52F
6854 posts
11/1/2005 8:40 pm

I have never broke a dick. But I have been the recipient of the Ice Pick and that's ouchie! Thank god it has not happened too many times.


tillerbabe 57F

11/1/2005 8:51 pm


I've never done the broken DICK thing... (as far as I know....huh..maybe those guys that didn't cum back for seconds??....)

The ICE PICK! HAH! if you're WET enough this doesn't happen! As far as anyone "accidently" slipping into my ASS?!?!?!? WTF? Not possible...takes too much work when it's ON PURPOSE!


Darius..WTF are YOU laughing about?!?!?! (another BOOB slap)

EroGenOusKitty 42F

11/1/2005 10:20 pm

Could you get "dick break" when "ice picking"???

lmao Trav i am going to incorporate your insight within my workshops!

SibylBatchAxile 44M
384 posts
11/1/2005 10:46 pm

tiller -

Two things - first of all, you know I love it when you slap me with your boobs...

Second, I have a fucking twisted sense of should know that by now, too...

I couldn't help it...I couldn't stop laughing....I don't know why.....trav must be using his evil powers on me again....

bulging_boy 50M

11/2/2005 3:35 am

Ohhh... I live in fear of the dick break.

I've come close on one occasion. You know it can seriously damage your pecker.

Like a knockout punch... the right dick break will render the dick unwooodable.


Makes me cry just thinking about it!

five_speed 42M

11/2/2005 4:43 am

you can get dick break from an ice pick. It happened to me once... OUCH.

SibylBatchAxile 44M
384 posts
11/2/2005 8:44 am

Rested and waiting, trav...

(Princess Lips)

11/2/2005 11:33 am

* rolls eyes*

nobody misses Lameo...



Sweetest_Sin_Jes 38F

11/2/2005 2:32 pm

*sings to the tune of the Kit Kat song*

Give me a break...
Give me a break...
Break me off a piece of that



DefiniteTrouble 51F

11/2/2005 5:58 pm

Jez - You and Tiller keep up the good work. I need rest.

Dick Break - not on purpose.
Ice Pick - more than once.
Anal slip-up's? No comment.

barbiebunny 37F
5597 posts
11/2/2005 6:44 pm

LOlololol yup dis is a good one.thanks for handling this one!

Its good to be...ME

EroGenOusKitty 42F

11/2/2005 8:17 pm

Trav... When you spoke of, "Insane Sexual Manueveurs and
Sex: Mind of a Crazy Texan" Could you please elaborate on this, or I will just assume it was your subconscience speaking to me lol

new_hat 39M
5 posts
11/3/2005 2:45 am

I'm here to attest to the fact that the ICE PICK is definitely possible. In fact, I did it once to an ex-girlfriend. We were both drunk, I had her bent over on a high bed and was ramming her in the sloppy, agressive fashion that defines very drunk sex. I pulled back a little too far and then drove it home about five degrees north of her vagina. Needless to say, she howled, spun around and slapped me and then started crying. Yup, crying. I was very apologetic. So, yes, tiller, the ICE PICK is possible and painful.

rm_DaphneR 59F
8023 posts
11/3/2005 11:40 pm

Can you imagine how painful a dick break would be to methodman1000?

OMG! *cringe* at the thought of an Ice Pick from him.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

rm_DaphneR 59F
8023 posts
11/4/2005 7:39 am

What he neglected to tell you was it was him and his size 14's crammed into a Mazda RX-7 trying to do the deed. He's lucky when he pulled out and then thrusted back in he wasn't fucking the cigarettte lighter under those cramped conditions. Of course she wasn't so lucky.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

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