Mediocre Melodrama.... and Other Thoughts  

travelingintexas 42M
8/1/2005 11:58 am
Mediocre Melodrama.... and Other Thoughts

(Notice: I have decided from this blog on, to write the background music that I am writing to. All in an attempt to give you the full coffee shop feel. LO

Background Music
Lyle Lovett - My First Mistake

I was wondering what I would write today. Not really wanting to force it but looking for a thought to start my mind to flowing. I was thinking back over the last few weeks and how I have flown from great personal tragedy to a possible wellspring of hope.

In the process of thinking these thoughts today I came across the blog of BLONDENEEDSSEX. I am going to steal her poem from her blog but I attribute it all to her. BLONDENEEDSSEX, if this is not ok, please let me know and I will remove it. But it spoke volumes to me.

A wave of nothingness has
crashing over me
I no not what to say ,
or how
I really want to be

No words to be said
No feelings to be felt
Smiles turned in to frowns
The heart all withered and brown

Sun turned into gloom
Thoughts there is no room

Excitement turned into dread
Everything empty as if dead

Nothing but Nothingness

I sat there stunned by the simple eloquence that captured my very essence these last few weeks. I can't write poetry, my stuff sounds like something off of Sesame Street. 1 Cookie, 2 Cookies AH AH AH AH But I felt this was incredibly timely and poignant. I don't know how many of you out there may be hurting today. Or feeling the pain of loss or misunderstanding. Let me tell you, the place I have been at over the last few weeks (losing the first love of my life, separating from my wife, losing the noise of children arguing all the time, changing jobs, losing my home in the separation, trying to come up with some semblance of normalcy in my life, feeling like a failure) is a place I never ever want to return to. While I know some situations in life are unavoidable, the pain is still all too real.

Another blog I enjoy frequenting touches on this subject today as well. We must all be thinking this way today. Something in the air? [blog bella_] has a great blog on the Three Most Important Things. Read these as well. You will be glad you did.

Friends, where ever you are today, in pain or in greatness, remember, there are those that will cheer you on, share your pain, and fight the battle beside you. You may not even have to look at people you would expect to be there but at strangers that will reach out and offer a kind word.

SensuallyKatey was one of the first to do this for me. If you look at my very first blog, it was actually me looking for anything to steady my shaken world. A stranger came and talked to me and calmly assured me the planets would align again. I didn't know her, I didn't even know what she did on here. I just knew she was kind and offered me comfort in my pain. Such an incredible touch of soothing to my hurt and troubled heart.

Part of my response last night to the young lady at Starbucks (Young lady? Geez I'm only 29 lol) was not to hit on her, but to offer comfort where I had wanted the same comfort just 2 weeks ago. Even though I didn't know her, I wanted to wrap my big ol self around her and let her know she was safe and could take refuge in someone who cares. So I exhort each of you, look around, touch someone somehow. It is so difficult for us to think outside of ourselves oftentimes. I understand. But recall your own personal pains and the journey to redemption you have experienced and share that joy with someone that may need it. You will find that joy even greater!

frbnkslady 49F
6183 posts
8/1/2005 10:06 pm

WOW.. this blog is great.. I really liked it.. T



8/2/2005 10:31 pm

I have no problem what so ever with you using my poem.I take it as a compliment. Thankyou for the mention.



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