I Ain't Getting None... And I don't wanna hear about yours!  

travelingintexas 42M
posts
9/27/2005 9:13 pm
I Ain't Getting None... And I don't wanna hear about yours!

Background Music:
Sweet Home Alabama, Lynnard Skynnard


How come when you hear the first four notes of Sweet Home Alabama, everything seems to be right in the world?

Orange Level! OH MY GOD STATUS!

Now… I got to thinking. When I get to thinking, it gets dangerous in here. And here is what I have been thinking. I realized, I hadn’t had sex in forever. Do you know when I can trace this problem to? I stopped having sex about the same time I met …

womenlooking4fun womenlooking4fun womenlooking4fun womenlooking4fun

There was also a full moon about this time. It was close to two months ago I think. I don’t even know if it was my hand or not. My hand won’t even speak to me.

I got to looking and that was about the same time that I was diagnosed as Butch Heterobisapian. Sizzle touched my hinney about that time too. Anyway. There are just a bunch of things that go into this. But I think the two trouble makers (Jezzy and KJ) stole my Mojo. I wouldn’t even know mojo if it jumped up and bit me. In fact, if a woman dropped by, took her clothes off in front of me and said “well…. Want me?” I am pretty sure the very next words out of my mouth would be….

So I was sitting in Starbucks today and this woman came in and took her clothes off.

Now, I have a few personal requirements. No sex for just sex. Dont feel like doing that anymore. I am looking for a solid financial background with a rolling credit line. My auditors will need your last 2 years financial statements and 14 references....... hmmmmmm strike that... no more than 2 references.......

See! So… I am needing your help to get my mojo back. I need help. I am in the mojo stealing clutches of the aforementioned women and cant get out. Please save me!

Mojoless and needing help….

Evil No sex having summamabitch Traveling….


keithcancook 61M
18138 posts
9/27/2005 10:22 pm

It is probably hidden in her lingerie drawer in her bedroom. That's where they keep the important stuff.


rm_koocnachtiek 61M
379 posts
9/27/2005 10:26 pm

Ha! KCC would know... the perv.

Is this just another trick by keithcancook
to get his text on television?


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
54M
2642 posts
9/27/2005 10:31 pm

Oh Trav...That orgy was months ago...you are going to force me to show the video...I told you it was Playful! Jez was sitting on my hands and KJ was sitting on something else...

BTW...the spam number for this post was 666...what does that mean? hmmm...
Evil trav...Evil


barbiebunny 38F
5597 posts
9/27/2005 10:37 pm

Oh that naughty Jez...Ill go help her....oops i mean help U

Its good to be...ME


rm_luke69iner 49M
3275 posts
9/28/2005 12:22 am

ain't they got them little blue pills for the mojo now


S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo
.
~Dante~


DefiniteTrouble 51F

9/28/2005 5:58 am

Well, at least you dropped down out of "red level."

I still have that nasty visual from last week. **cringe**

Still laughing about it too, lol.


rm_talldarkavg1 107M
10172 posts
9/28/2005 7:12 am

Mojo's are highly over-rated anyways. Look at the bright side. I'm not sure what it is...just hoping you'd look at it.

[blog talldarkavg1]


DefiniteTrouble 51F

9/28/2005 10:21 am

Me? Hush? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase!!!


ThumbChickStool 34F

9/28/2005 11:46 am

Want some MOJO? Come to Vegas, go see Zumanity at the NYNY Casino, then go to Tangerine inside TI, see the Sirens of TI, go see Skintight at the Flamingo, and then go to the Voodoo Lounge on top of the Rio. If that doesn't get your MOJO back, at least your wallet will be empty too.


redlipsprincess
(Princess Lips)
53F

9/28/2005 11:55 am

it's back ...

[post 103776]

TTFN


barbiebunny 38F
5597 posts
9/28/2005 1:25 pm

mojo? isnt that a fried potato? ANd i caught my kitty and ticked it a lot.

Its good to be...ME


dano6332 57M

9/28/2005 3:40 pm

Trav, I would recommend you get out the old "sam spade" trench coat and head out to the nearest nasty ass porno theater you can find. The one where you cringe just walking on the floor. Sit near a group of other men and enjoy the film. I know it is scary but consider this shock therapy. By the end of the movie (or whatever else finishes first) you should have a greater appreciation of the company of women and your mojo back. Oh heck you dont have to thank me were all friends on here.


ThumbChickStool 34F

9/28/2005 4:18 pm

Well, if all that sexiness is too much for you, we can always do the kiddie stuff; rollercoasters, giant M&Ms, arcades. Yup, completely do-able.


DefiniteTrouble 51F

9/28/2005 4:20 pm

I found your Mojo... [post 103973]


Sweetest_Sin_Jes 38F

9/28/2005 5:51 pm

Get in your time machine and go back to the day you lost your mojo and get it back like Austin Powers did!! DUHHHHHHH! Oh...wait! His mojo ended up getting dropped on the floor! Tee hee!

Oh well, good luck to you on that...lol!

Jess


Become a member to create a blog