Down That Dusty Rode Aways...  

travelingintexas 42M
3/21/2006 10:02 am
Down That Dusty Rode Aways...

Arisen from the ashes of total desperation…

Arisen from a total state of total destruction…

Arisen from a place of total despair…

I know Katey made a joke about the nine month birthing process. (And it was funny.) However, it is a thought that was echoed elsewhere and has both struck me to the quick and stuck with me. These 9 months have been for me some of the most rewarding, painful, ass bitching, over the top, cool and mind bending months of my life.

However, I like the birthing analogy.

Something new is coming from a long learning process, something I can be proud of and for some reason it sits well with my spirit. I have noticed a renewed interest in things I had set aside to deal with the issues of self (which I think is healthy), a personal purpose and in the end, I like who I have become. I intuitively sense things turning around and working out very quickly. There are some issues in real life that are coming together more or less of their own accord and I am excited about them.

However, I am still me and that is what I like. I still do stupid shit. For instance, I have a morning ritual. I wake up, turn the shower to HOT and leave the door open. (I can do this because I am in a hotel.) I then come back out and smoke a couple of cigs while reading the overnight responses.

Well, someone, housekeeping or me, not sure who, pointed the shower head OUT of the shower yesterday. So, when I turned the water on guess where it pointed? Yup... into the floor of the bathroom and I was too asleep still to notice. So after sitting here at this desk for 15-20 minutes, I walked back into the bathroom. Dadgumit if I hadn’t flooded the bathroom and hallway….. ughhhhhhh

Some things never change eh?

But I love my life. I had a fantastic day yesterday. Everything went great but even as I went to bed last night there was a small flicker of self talk that said “it is not enough” so I am still learning, on a daily basis, that the battlefield is in the mind, not in life. However, I am satisfied with me and that is all that truly matters.

If you’re going through Hell... Keep on Going...

rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
3/21/2006 10:43 am

And don't worry if there's a little pendulum swinging back and forth thing that goes on. That happens and is cool.

You said that you like who you have become. Well I don't know who you were before, not in first person, but I sure as hell like and respect who you are now.

I just got an email from someone who said age and maturity are not always the same thing. And guess who I thought of when I read it. Yep, onelittlesecret. (Sorry, couldn't resist, lol.)

Anyway, great post, bc.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

travelingintexas replies on 3/21/2006 11:01 am:
Oh the pendulum swings Switz.... In a huge way... Its a balancing act and some days it terrifies me that i won't get it right. But I have learned not to give too much energy to the "what if's". Today is today and right now is all I have. As long as my choices settle ok with me and I could or can talk about them openly without guilt or shame I am ok I beleive.

TTigerAtty 63M

3/21/2006 11:09 am

Trav ... Good post! Inspirational! It causes me to think of something, and I may have told you this before in another comment on your blog. Can't remember! That's what happens in your 50's! I know this psychologist here in town. He's a family counselor and has been practicing for about 30 years. He used to have this vanity license plate which read: NO EXIT. Although I never talked with him about him or asked him what it meant, I came to believe it was his statement that there is NO EXIT from that which goes on constantly within our minds. You know ... the turmoil, the anxiety, the uncertainty, the second guessing, the doubt, the indecision, the constant processing and reprocessing of information, the renewed awareness, all that stuff! One cannot escape all that stuff! We have to process it and work through it all. And, to build upon your point about renewal, we have to keep processing, learning and renewing. I think your statement that "the battlefield is in the mind" is very perceptive! Thanks! A useful concept!

travelingintexas replies on 3/21/2006 1:27 pm:

Probably the toughest battlefield on earth in my opinion. It is the only place were we must war with our own thoughts. And we tend to trust our own thoughts and beleifs first before we ever look at exterior conditions. Reminds me of my favorite quote of all time...

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."
Teddy Roosevelt
"Citizenship in a Republic,"
Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910

TabithaElectra79 39F

3/21/2006 11:16 am

Just remember to listen to your own advice...

travelingintexas replies on 3/21/2006 1:29 pm:

Yup... The major piece to my writing her is to me. If others can take away then that is fantastic. It is to remind me of who I am in writing, which forces me to think through the issues at hand.


3/21/2006 12:09 pm

great post

under the stars
We choose to write
you choose what you comprehend.
read twice and be nice
every key stroke... has a heart beat

travelingintexas replies on 3/21/2006 1:30 pm:
Thank you my dear... thanks for dropping by again!

rm_goddess1946 107F
13518 posts
3/21/2006 12:55 pm

Fire refines the Gold............
keep on keepin' on. it will make sense some day. truth.

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...

travelingintexas replies on 3/21/2006 1:31 pm:
Truth... Absolute, unchanging and unyielding... it is my desire to grasp it and hold on tight!

aascrompn 43M
6444 posts
3/21/2006 1:33 pm

Thank god it didn't get all over your cigs... FFS!

travelingintexas replies on 3/21/2006 1:43 pm:
Finally, someone with priorities LOL I am right there with ya!

rm_DaphneR 59F
8023 posts
3/21/2006 2:33 pm

Loved who you were and who you've become and everything that went in between. Even when you falter, know some of us are here to shove you back out there and tell you to get on with it and that we're going to be the ones cheering the loudest when you succeed.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

PassionKisses4Me 45F

3/21/2006 2:54 pm

Glad you are doing well sweetie...It is a great thing to become satisfied with yourself...I traveled that journey recently myself....hugs and kisses to you



MyRealLoverOne 47M

3/21/2006 3:45 pm

Good words Trav! Thanks for sharing!

absolutelynormal 57F
6563 posts
3/21/2006 4:17 pm

I wish there were words of wisdom I could give you, but sadly, even though I am older than you are, I am behind you. And I am behind you, I cannot give words of wisdom but those of encouragement I can give. Remember, it's the journey, not the destination or so I'm told. I sure as hell hope it's the journey cause I don't even know where the hell I'm going!! Mac

LustyTaurus 50M
21253 posts
3/21/2006 4:49 pm

As a matter of fatc I am going thoruogh a hell of sorts at the moment, and that's all you can do...go through it.


rm_mm0206 70F
7767 posts
3/21/2006 8:04 pm

I believe in you.

Satisfaction with one's self is difficult to attain,
and even harder to hold on to.

Guess who said that!

tender hugs Trav....


boydcounty 68M

3/21/2006 8:33 pm

Cool stuff!! I like ya!! When you've been to hell, a glass of water really looks good.


EyeCandy33333 46F
761 posts
3/21/2006 9:23 pm

Are you getting reflective again darling? You have shown me a fraction of what you are capable of- this world needs the rest of it-you WILL make your marks-I am sure-and love comes knocking when you least expect it!
Greater things are coming for you-someone will reach out-but-maybe-it will be a new direction-a new door that opens-keep your eyes open darling!
A bit of a little story comes to mind-James Taylor-yeah NC boy-left home-was depressed-now who wud think that? Became a great song writer and singer-so good came from the depths of that!
You just call-out my name-and you know -wherever I am-I'll come running
To see you again-Don't ya know that winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call?
And I'll be there-
You've Got A Friend!
T xoxox

EyeCandy33333 46F
761 posts
3/21/2006 9:24 pm

Now-PING ME!!!

starvingnow 49F

3/21/2006 9:41 pm

Well spring is just around the corner...the time of renewal.

tillerbabe 57F

3/21/2006 10:40 pm

Put on your Fire Dept. shirt dammit!

keithcancook 61M
18125 posts
3/21/2006 11:01 pm

I'm not sure whether to laugh, cry, or take a piss.

I think I will just go shopping instead...

rm_corezon 54F
3376 posts
3/22/2006 12:34 am

Odd how blogland is blurring reality for me...watching Forrest Gump with a friend of mine Sunday night, happened to remember a post you mentioned it...went to bed with you still on my mind, wondering what you were doing in real life...

we all have our share of shit to wade through...

glad you are feeling better...

rm_corezon 54F
3376 posts
3/22/2006 12:37 am

Humphrey Bogart.

I finally realised what the hat picture reminded me of.

rm_corezon 54F
3376 posts
3/22/2006 12:38 am

or of whom

rm_corezon 54F
3376 posts
3/22/2006 12:38 am

too bad multiple comments on the same post don't count anymore

crazygurl2xx 58F

3/22/2006 6:36 am

Love this: If you’re going through Hell... Keep on Going... Yeah! don't stop or hell is just where you'll stay.

I can relate.

TTigerAtty 63M

3/22/2006 1:41 pm

    Quoting rm_corezon:
    Humphrey Bogart.

    I finally realised what the hat picture reminded me of.
That's it! I've done some research. Bogie passed away in 1957 from throat cancer. His 4th wife and wife at the time of his death was Lauren Bacall. Two children, a son and daughter, were born of this marriage. Now, Trav is, of course, too young at age 30 to be Bogie's son, but it would be entirely possible that Trav could be Bogie's grandson. More research, barring self-admission by Trav, will be required in order to conclusively prove this supposition by [blog corezon], but I think she may have hit upon something here!

Trav ... Can you tell us sir? Is that one of your grandfather's famous fedoras that you are wearing in your profile pic?

HBowt2 60F

3/22/2006 2:11 pm

Can you promise I will get through.....don't suppose keep on walking so....

travelingintexas replies on 3/22/2006 5:11 pm:
I tend to side with the human instinct. Survive...

If you haven't given up yet, I think you can expect bad days, really bad days and hopelessness but it comes down to one foot in front of the other. Think of the last time you went this way? How often did you feel like it would never get better?

What is your mindset? Have you failed before starting because your mind says so? The battlefield of the mind...


rm_talldarkavg1 107M
10172 posts
3/22/2006 2:32 pm

Reflection...Good Ice water enema...Bad
First French kiss...Good Grandma...Bad
Self Discovery...Good At WalMart...Bad
So the journey begins. Congrats.

[blog talldarkavg1]

tillerbabe 57F

3/22/2006 3:23 pm

There's a guy, his name is Trav...
One of the best friends you could ever have..
But he never comes to my BLOG
Because his head is shaped like a Frog.

He smokes cigars
And picks his toes
Never visits
He has hair in his nose.

He jacks off daily
And splooges his load
He never comments
But cums like a toad!
love ya DORK!!!!

frbnkslady 49F
6183 posts
3/22/2006 3:43 pm

I am glad you are doing well and moving forward... I have always liked you and knew you would get better.. not that you were bad to start with... We all have had rough spots, just take a deep breath, exhale and put your best foot forward... SMILE too.... don't forget your smile... T


rm_Bct2Esi 52M/52F
1375 posts
3/25/2006 10:56 pm

Even though Kate's and I was giving you good natured grief about this Remember, everything happens for a reason, at its own pace. If you learn the lesson the first time, you don't have to take another trip around that mountain, if you don't, then its little things like us ribbing you that dig up something for you to rehash and think about and try to change.

So did the hotel management put you to work at cleaning up your mess?

hugs, smooches and smiles sweetie

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