A Penny Earned is a Penny Something or Other...  

travelingintexas 42M
posts
5/26/2006 7:34 pm
A Penny Earned is a Penny Something or Other...


Well here I am... Friday night and blogging. Thought about going out but just didn’t feel like it. So... Heres’s the plan for the weekend.. Caption Weekend, if I can find one, which I can. I am also thinking of going back to old blogs and prefacing it with the real story. Think my New York, New York post and others. Any of you that have been on this journey with me object to that?

A Now You Know the Rest of the Story kind of thing.

Those of you that have been around a while or know me, know I hate “picking up” women and I am actually shy about saying hello. Well these last couple of weeks I have ben combating that. This was prompted by me being in my hometown a couple of weeks ago. I really could care less about the people I went to school with and have no desire to see them. Except for this one woman I had a crush on my freshman year. I thought of her the other day, the first time in several years. Just kind of wondered what she was up to. The very next day I was at a baseball game, turned around and there before my eyes she stood. Oh my God, she looked like Sarah Jessica Parker. Even better now than then. I so badly wanted to say hello. I gathered up my son and left the bal park though and crawled in my Jeep. I just sat there. I knew if I didn’t say anything I would regret it for a long time.

So I told him I would be right back. I steeled myself, pumping myself up for the coming episode. When I got back to where she was, she was in the middle of the bleachers, completely surrounded by people and on her cell phone. So I stood there to the side, waiting for her to look my way. She never did. I didn’t want to be the idiot that jumped in the midst of people and made a scene. For all I knew she was married yet there was no ring on her finger. So I gave up, had to really because there was some place I needed to be.

So I left that night, thinking of her and wishing and wondering. So My quest continued. On the road home that night, I pulled into a restaurant and a woman waited on me. She was beautiful and had a fantastic smile. I wanted to get her number yet I had already badly struck out earlier. So what does Trav do? Drives off without asking for it. So now I am feeling pretty stupid. 30 Miles of berating myself later, I picked up my cell phone and called information. I called and she answered. I told her I had been thinking of her since I drove off and I would bother me forever if I didn’t just ask. She felt uncomfortable in giving her number to me which was fine. She lives in a different city and a relationship or even dating would have been impossible. Doesn’t matter though. I count me actually doing the phone all in the first place a huge victory. Which is most important.

So I have had a few hit and misses like this. Anytime the opportunity presents itself I try and learn by saying what I think or asking for the information. Still, it is hard. Years of lying to myself about unworthiness have made it difficult to break free from the old lies, even though I know they are false. The life I live today is so much more different than the one I lived a year ago. I wish, my friends, you could see me. I wish you could celebrate who I am with me today. As I walk the halls at work or do my thing here in Dallas/Fort Worth, I am so incredibly proud to be who I am and it shows in everything I do or say.

The reviews are glowing, opportunities present themselves without me having to try. Those of you that don’t know me well will think this is me being egotistical. Those of you that walked the barren halls with a shattered and broken man over the last year will know I am saying this about me in humility. A life worth living is the only life worth having. I am confident in what I am capable of and push the boundaries of what is accepted daily. Why? Because that is who I am and I am damn proud of it.

Now if I could just figure out how to tell that hot Asian woman in the tight green dress at my dry cleaners that I think she is hot. Anyone want to call her for me?

Trav

rm_pagan380 66M
4405 posts
5/26/2006 7:50 pm

As your new best friend and Pardner, I can tell, you sound like your trying and that's what counts really. I know, I've been stiffled for over twenty years and I'm only just getting back into the dating game myself. The ladies here have been such a big help getting me comfortable with flirting again. I can't thank them enough. Go ahead, flirt with ever woman you come across, no matter how old or what they look like. It's just a fishing trip, you can aways throw back the ones that you don't want to keep.
Truly,


Come play naked in the sunshine and dance naked under the stars.

Digambara


rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
5/26/2006 9:19 pm



Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


rm_gerson42 53M
2419 posts
5/26/2006 11:56 pm

Nice Journey. Sometimes it's not the result that counts.
ger


UrEastTexasBuddy 46M/55F
34 posts
5/27/2006 4:20 am

Hello there..I love your attitude. I know how hard it is to get halfway to where you are. I'm the female half of this couple...and a bit shy/self consious. I think I'll follow along on your journey if you don't mind.

A


cookiequeen1000 54F

5/27/2006 4:47 am

Cudos for the steps you have taken. Go ahead and tell the Asian woman at the dry cleaners she looks nice when you go in there. Have a pleasant smile and be sincere. You don't have to tell her she's hot right off the bat. Compliment her everytime you go in. People love to get compliments, even the ones who don't seem to take them well. Be liberal with doling them out. It will make their day and you'll feel better for stepping up and saying something.

The changes you say you've made are big ones. But you have to believe them and exhude confidence, whether you have it or not at that moment. Kind of like Speech Class...never let em see ya sweat. You can do it. It's only hard the first time or two, then it gets easier. Opportunities present themselves everyday, don't let them pass you by. There's no dress rehersal for life. Sieze the day.


want2play926 46F

5/27/2006 8:40 am

I do not think you come across egotistical or cocky. Trav, you are who you are and like you said, be damn proud that you were once a broken man, picked yourself up, brushed yourself off and learned. That is a TRUE man.

I read your blog to gett o know the man you once were, in hopest to know the man you are today better.

Women do not understand just how hard it is for a man to ask a woman fro her number or a date. I for one, rarely was on dates due to my brothers threatening guys. I ran into one guy from high school when i was in college. We sat and drank coffee and talked of old times. he told me how bad he wanted to date me but was too scared to ask me. I thought it was cuz of my brothers, he said it was because he thought I was out of his league. This guy was one that any girl would have gone out with. He was the 'it' guy in school. He told me how hard it was to ask girls out. I never knew or understood a man's way of thinking about that.

So, don't think you are the only one Trav....I know I would shit myelf if you asked me out!!!! I would say yes too *wink


rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
5/27/2006 9:54 am

OK, I thought about it. Break it down into two parts. First, when you're ready, give the sincere compliment and let it go. Then later, add to it. In other words, a little at a time. It'll be honest, and "you." Plus, the whole idea of picking up women (even tho you said it in quotes) isn't really you. You have too much respect for women to even try to be that person.

Ah, and this - try to get into the frame of mind of being a person rather than a guy. Did that make sense? (ha, do I ever?) Actually this one is advice I give myself, and just modified it for you.

And in the whole big picture of everything, you're doing great, babycakes.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


rm_LilBlondeNZ 41F
1028 posts
5/27/2006 11:01 am

"You have to throw the stone to get the pool to ripple...."

Glad to see that your "real" life is catching up with you, in a good way....

XOXO

A


HBowt2 60F

5/27/2006 1:28 pm

i've only been around since last december but your blog tells the story of the transition you have made and the pain you had doing it....You have every right to hold your head up and strut your stuff....

be genuine when you approach people...imagine they are in here...you've no trouble saying nice things or reaching out in here...I know that...


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