In need of advice  

tlsskrewdmee 49F
56 posts
8/3/2006 7:21 pm

Last Read:
8/8/2006 8:33 am

In need of advice

I want to know,


My friend is always in this pitty me mood, and no matter what I say to her, she never changes it. Im ugly, Im lonely, Im not a good friend, Im broke,

She is upset becuase she isnt a size 6 anymore
(dang she had a kid and sat around), cant find work, cant keep a guy.

Most of all I am getting tired of her always asking" r u mad at me"

Do I tell her to get over herself and contact me when she has got her shit together, or drop her friendship all together?

Help I need some advice!!!

readyforfun2270 47M

8/3/2006 7:48 pm

I would try to talk with her and see if there is something you can do to help, but you should also tell her that her mood is getting old.

longshorman51 56M
1 post
8/3/2006 8:04 pm

Her position is clear. Check and balances, this may be the approach to make. First; is your friendship worth the aggravation, if so stand firm and insist this is your opinion... only because you ask. Then insist that she ask no more questions about your friendship. If you have answered the question move on. Depending on your friendship lasting depends on you.
If you are mad tell her. true friends will never go far from each other.
Stay what you have to and move on. Do not stagnate in her self pitty.
But, you know this anyway...

silverhawk762 52M/48F

8/3/2006 8:18 pm

I'm not so sure that anything you tell her is going to make a difference to her "mood". You can't keep asking if she's mad at you -trust me, that gets old way, way too quickly. There are some people in this world who need more than you could ever give them in the way of validation. Get out while you can, girl, 'cause she's feeding on the attention you're giving her.

tlsskrewdmee 49F

8/3/2006 8:47 pm

Thank you ready, i appreciate your in put, I tell ya she is driving me crazy

rm_6guns37 45M

8/4/2006 10:00 pm

Well, I say tell her how she is with you and that it is tough to always try to cheer her up to no avail. Tell her you realize that she needs the boost of confidence that you try to give her but the fact that you want to spend time with her in the first place should be telling her what you feel. Tell her that you want to have the kind of friendship where it is possible to share your feelings to each other but to also just be happy that you get time together to have fun and laugh. Having no laughter is ruining your desire to be friends.
If she can't handle that conversation, it is time to get out! It might be worth it to give her a chance.
Good luck! I've been there.

rm_lovebigHAT 107M

8/8/2006 7:27 am

I don't know, for someone like me where loyalty runs pretty deep, I'd say be str8 up with her (I also think that people use the term "friend" waaaaaay too loosely). What does true friendship mean? I figure it's kinda like the family that you'd choose to be stuck with. Sometimes we need to just tell our people, in a nice way, what in the heck they're doing to themselves and others around them (if she's driving you crazy, there's probably an "A" list of others- even if it's a short list)!

For my sanity, what I'd do is tell it like it is, in a nice way, and let her know (if it's gotten to be too much for me) that I need a break! Kids get timeouts, why can't we take 'em (or give 'em to adults)? Assure her that the friendship is real, but her lack of self esteem is bringing me down. I figure try to do the right thing, but self preservation is what's keeping mankind afloat. But really, how much time does it take to assure someone, ONE GOOD TIME and maybe a few little ones that they're an important part of MY life!? We are talking about a "friend" here, right? And for whatever reason I try to "wear the same shoes" b/4 making a decision that could help/hurt another. Hope this short novel helps...

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