shells and cheese  

tipadee 37F
1316 posts
8/16/2006 12:22 pm

Last Read:
7/19/2015 10:35 am

shells and cheese


Piedmont Piper, director of the Australian Institute for Evil Science, has announced the creation of a breed of mice able to regenerate any lost tissue, including limbs, tails, and even hearts and livers. The ability, unique amongst mammals, makes the mice able to survive poisons, gunfire, electricity, science experiments, and most especially, cats.

“With these vermin, we finally have the mouse army that we’ve dreamt of for so long. Our mighty mice will pour forth like a white tide of cute but nonetheless nefarious evil, causing mass disconcert and uncontrollable heebie-jeebies! Bwaa ha ha ha ha ha hack-gargle?cough.”




alright. you think this is all fun and games??! those mice are for real. I swear. I have on living in my kitchen (I pray to God only the kitchen). the little bastard has been freakin me out. really. stalking me, calling my name out when no one is around, rearranging furniture, hiding my pills, turning the TV on at 3am, and lots of other completely rude and scary things. he even got ahold of my eyebrow shapers and now I have one and a half eyebrows. I have been stewing about it, drawing it back on with a sharpie, pretending that it didn't happen. I can't say that we were cohabitating in peace, but we had an understanding. I ran screaming when I saw him, and he stayed near the fridge. actually, he managed to help me lose 6 lbs in the last four days. Hmm ... maybe he can stay for a while ....

that was until the incident. what incident you might ask ... well this is what happened. I was playing with my niece, and she was starving. she had been craving shells and cheese all day. that and a dirty sock. you know how kids are. evil hairball is watching me type right now. anyway, in the bottom cupboard is the ramon and some random dry food stuff. and to my dismay ... and utter heartbreak ... that little demon had chewed his way into the box of shells and cheese and consumed most of it, and proceded to shiot on the rest. after consoling hannah ... she really wanted shells and cheese ... it was on.

first ... that little monster needed a name ... Warspawn The Berserk ... Rotdeath The Crafty ... Horndemon The Hellbound ... Speedshade The Black ... Bashsmash The Slayer ... Soullock The Slicer ... Madstrike The Hateful ... Warspawn The Berserk ... Emberspawn The Lustful ... Vomittooth .... Chuck Norris .... yeh, yeh little Chuck. seemed approiate. hope he chokes on his nunchucks. hehe.

next, made a midnight run to walmart. let's see, mouse traps seem to humane ... sticky pads ... NAH, I'll just torture him ... decon ... PERFECT ... poison it is. no one makes me ... I mean my niece go without shells and cheese. NNOO ONE!!! cough. sorry, got excited there for a minute.

Instructions:

1. open tab. check
2. place 10 to 18 feet apart. umm ... kitchen is six feet by eight feet ... so I need 8 of them. one in each cupboard. double check
3. wait 4 to 7 days for them to die.



SOOOO ... right now I am waiting and little chuck just ran across the kitchen again, it's all right, I can hear him eating .... die ....









To Be Continued ....


skyking412004 55M
5363 posts
9/5/2006 7:57 pm

_____Stop saying what? "That there's probably more than one"? O.K. I promise. I'll never say "There's probably more than one.", ever again. /// What's more than zero but less than three? More than...


skyking412004 55M
5363 posts
8/30/2006 4:49 pm

_____I helped someone get rid of mice once. I started with traps. They seemed to learn to avoid those. Then i got the sticky pads. that worked until it actually caught one. It cried like a real baby. It broke my heart. The woman had to smash it with a shovel. I ended up using the poison bate. They really went to town on that. I hope yours doesn't die in someplace you can't get it. The decay smell could be a problem. There's probably more than one.


SirMounts 103M

8/26/2006 1:50 am

tipadee...
Yeah, you don't want to mickeymouse around with getting rid of mice. *smiling*


1sexylatin1975 42M  
24 posts
8/20/2006 6:58 am

Keep us posted as we are interested in knowing how Chuck is going to win this fight...ha, ha...he probably had his whole family move in already...j/k

Hope you get the bastard...I know the feeling of really wanting to eat something and finding it rotten/eaten by animal/eaten by human/etc. and it's not the most stimulating...This blog brought memories back from school (damn roommates), back home (my brother could eat anything!), or from grandma's house and the mice that lives there that seemed like freakin' KANGAROOS...giant bastards...

Good luck Tip...


smackyman 47M
3849 posts
8/19/2006 7:23 pm

Don't mess with Chuck - you might piss him off and wake up one night with him under the sheets tormenting the pussy!

My mouse and I get along - he stays in the basement and when he has a party in the ceiling he always sends me an invitation. He's a considerate little bastard!


AtomicArtist0 46M
6015 posts
8/16/2006 11:17 pm

craving for a dirty sock! hah! thats priceless. You know me and LOL. I just don't abuse it. I may abuse alchohol, my neighbors and my bathroom priviledges, but never LOL. But everything here made me LOL! Give her a good scare for me before you go, Chuck!


2daycowboywanted 46F

8/16/2006 1:06 pm

Yuck! (Thats the only thing that comes to mind!)

Until later
2daycowboywanted


buddhamike 107M
7006 posts
8/16/2006 12:57 pm

Gotta love the poison thing. In the last throes of life, under the influence of the poison, they get insatiable thirst and tend to come out boldly looking for water. (generally scaring hell out of whoever is around) Next time you might wish to try the old fashioned trap.


caressmewell 54F

8/16/2006 12:55 pm

I think it would be so much simplier to get a cat or at least borrow one.


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